My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Purging the Evil Within

There was a time when I was accused of excessive harping on the evil that is the Cupcake Cake (CCC, for short). So, I piped down (pun intended). However, since more of you newbie Wrecktators are asking me what a CCC is, I believe the time has come for a refresher course. I can't have you lackeys out there fighting Wreckage you don't fully understand, now, can I?

Now gather 'round, and prepare to have your innocence shattered.


Just look at this hulking terror, poised to pounce on common decency and smother it with its blue-smeared putrescence. Back away slowly, now, and no one will get hurt.

Remember ol' Stay-Puft? Well, he's got nothing on Blueberry Sherry here:

She looks ready to stomp her way downtown and gobble up some taxi cabs, doesn't she? I particularly like the concave face, though: it lends a little "Le Neanderthal Chic".

Since most large chain bakeries require their bakers to make CCCs, decorators have learned to cope with these horrors in a variety of ways.

Some have a blinding sense of ambition...

"I will make a football out of cupcakes. I WILL!!!"

Others try to hide their shameful creations any way they can:

"Cupcake Cake? Where? I don't know what you mean; this here is just a simple layer cake. With candles. Yep, no cupcakes here! La Tee Da..."

A few remain in classic stages of denial:

"It is a sheet cake. It IS!
Now hand me that bucket of 'Happy Birthday' picks; I think I missed a spot.

And finally, some decorators have clearly been pushed beyond the bounds of sanity, but at least they're having a ripping-good time:

[maniacal giggling]

Kristi M., Vanessa H., Laura H., Sharon P., Jeremy P., Misty K., & Regina H., I think we need to step up our Anti-CCC efforts. These things are getting worse!

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Reader Comments (128)

LOVE the Violet Beauregarde comment...that is one F-ug-a-lee cakeish-type thing.

May 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterStuffCooksWant

I thought the last CCC photo was a cross-section of a intestinal tumor.

Great for a med student, not so great for Great-Aunt Florence.

May 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTiggy

Is it just me or does that last one look like Snoopy resting in bed, with a bad case of measles or chicken pox? And they stuck a fork in him - he's done!

May 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

A CCC made to look like a birthday cake (complete with candles at that!)-- there seems to be something terribly wrong here... after all why would one take a real cake and decorate it to look like a cake?? but I guess CCC are not "real" cakes. but... who would want a birthday cake that is decorated to be a birthday cake? I don't get it. Maybe we need a course in the Philosophy of CCC!

May 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Lol, think I'm glad CCCs don't seem to have made it here to Scotland yet!

Love the pretending 'it's not a CCC' ones!

wv - dested - these cakes dested the bakers' abilities beyond their limits.

May 28, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterkikimama

I'm so glad somebody else noticed the lone green cupcake in with the "football." Did the customer request just one green one stuck in there too?

May 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKrissy

I used to love cupcakes...then I started reading this blog and I realized the horrible ways that they could be used. Such a shame!

Did anyone else notice the Happy Birthday letter candles on the bottom of the first iris CCC?

Well, maybe I should say, the "appy ......... brthday" candles.

Why the missing letters? Why the large space between the words? Why, why, why?

I also vote to change CCC to CCCC or 4C for short, as I think we need to add "Catastrophe" to the acronym.

May 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKat

Now, the 'birthday cake' one is just about the only CCC I would say hit the mark. It's actually quite clever and cute!

However, the rest are sufficiently wrecky enough to make me run screaming for the hills. Especially the one under a RAINBOW SHEET of icing, like someone put food coloring into a street paver and just mowed over the top of the poor cupcakes...and then added insult to injury with the Happy Birthday picks.

The horror. THE HORROR!

May 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMelissa (& Billy)

I love the random green cupcake beside the football one.

May 28, 2009 | Unregistered Commentermalmow

Love dat fiendish graduate cake...

May 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBelle Epoque

The graduation one reminded me of a buccaneer pirate...I don't know why!

May 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMaryBe

Cupcakes are cute. Cupcake cakes are what nightmares are made of.

That one there....I don't know what it is, but a football it is not!


wv: dedatch - Someone should dedatch those cupcakes, they are not ment to form shapes.

May 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Watermelon? I thought that last one was a sick baby shower CCC: "Congratulations on getting knocked up! Here's a cake showing what your fetus looks like in your uterus!" Too graphic?

May 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterStacie

Wow. . . Just wow. . .

May 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAleesuhn_Muhree

That last immediate thought was that it was a fetus in a weird sick green womb. Watermelon? Other than the colors--nope!

May 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCorningNY

Awwww and there's a poor little legitimate cupcake jammed in with the football cake. Which incidently caused the term "Frankenvulva" to come to my mind.

wv: achippif..the little green cupcake certainly isn't a chippif the old block.

May 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHyena Overlord
May 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKamity

The problem (well, one of them) with the "cute cake with candles" is not so much the fact that its a CCC, I think it has more to do with the 6 inches of icing to hide the fact that its a CCC.

Why decorate a cake to be a....cake? Is it really so hard to cut off a slice?!?


May 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

As I was looking at your post, my 3 yr old came in as I scrolled down to the "graduate" CCC, and his first reaction was, "It's a monster!! It's going to get me!" Now if that doesn't describe a CCC, I don't know what will.

May 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCarrie

Lol...It's hard to believe this kind of thing is ever created, even by accident. I wonder what goes through their little minds - "Oh, this looks fine....right?"

May 28, 2009 | Unregistered Commentershadowsofmymind

The half-eaten watermelon is kind of cute. Don't hate me!
The first one is horrendous, though. why use cupcakes for flowers? It makes no sense. No sense, I say!

May 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterIngeborg

CCCs are a terrible idea (unlike cupcake mosaics, which are awesome), but the stripey one is kind of nice. I mean, it's stripey, looks kind of like a waving flag b/c of the cupcake bumps and has all the convenience and yum of being made of cupcakes. I mock them all, but I could get behind waving flag CCCs. At last, something they genuinely look like!

May 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKit

Watermelon? That's one freaky, mutated, EVIL watermelon.

May 28, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterthingsmymothersaid

Do I want to know how they make square tops of icing for CCCs?

WV: dedge - the thin, thin line that a cake crosses when going from simply bad to wreck-tastic

May 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMilton

Blueberry Sherry looks positively evil!!!!

May 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRockandrollBride

I think it's hilarious that the Watermelon is like a rorschach test. So what does it say about me that I saw a man in lying on a really uncomfortable therapy couch?

...and about you alien fetus people?

May 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCindy

I wish I knew what they were thinking when the added the random green cupcake to the 'football' ccc.

May 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJessica

my son was behind me when we scrolled over ccc and he said, "what's that?!?!" I almost peed my pants! he's on his way to wreckporting...(sniffles)...makes a mother proud.

May 28, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterjamison3boys

Now, is it ALL CCCs you're opposed to, or just the wrecked ones? Because I quite like a CCC done with taste and aplomb.

I do admit I fear to think how the creators of these CCCs would translate "taste" and "aplomb."

May 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMorgan

That last one looks like fallopian tubes smothered in green icing...ick

The "football" looks like a giant cow turd

While I am a HUGE fan of icing & can appreciate (in theory) the CCC's use of copious amounts of frosting, but in reality? Not so much because they are SO FREAKING UGLY!!!!!!!!!!

May 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJoMama

I thought the last one was cacti with it's flower...not a watermelon, but I'm not a CCC expert.

May 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterErinB

What on earth is that last monstrosity? My first impression was that of a poorly rendered bright red fetus lying comfortably on a pea green uterine hammock. That can't be right . . . can it?

May 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterNick

I love how they drew the fingernails on the wrong side of "Blueberry Sherry's" hands. That, or they chopped off her hands and put them on the wrong sides!


May 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I have been defiled Jen! My eyes my eyes!

May 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAutumnJade

I figured out that the last one was supposed to be a watermelon, but it looked all the world like a colorized shot of my niece's baby's ultrasound.

May 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterScritzy

haha- I thought the last one was a fetus and uterus.

May 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAndy Mathis

Oh God. I HATE those "cupcake cakes." how STUPID!

That graduation girl looks positively FRIGHTENING! :-O

Hey, you know... I kind of like that Watermelon one... it would be my luck, it is actually an alien baby or something.

"Congratulations on the alien baby! It had a fork for an umbilical cord? Crazy!"

May 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMorgan the Muse

Oh my god, oh my god. I am almost 100% sure that I am the one that produced that hideous football from Kroger!!!
My manager wanted football stuff, and I couldn't for the life of me make her a stupid football.
Granted, I'm not a real cake decorator, and they don't seem to care.

I need to know. I NEED to know. Where is the origin of that image?

May 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKrista

Looks like some sort of flesh eating amoeba!

May 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterB

*blush* I kinda like that first one! Looks sort of like an impressionist painting!

*backs away slowly while covering her vital organs*

May 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMommyAmy

Maybe I have watched Peanuts too often as a child, but...that last one looks like Snoopy lying in a funkified cactus.

May 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDianne

I must admit the watermelon one has this sorta retro gaming look... because it's not really well refined but you can obviously see what it is. But... why not make it a WHOLE one instead? I'm not sure that making the food already look half eaten is a good marketing strategy.

May 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBilby P. Dalgyte

Oh wow, I love how the last CCC doesn't even try to be vaguely watermelon shaped.
If you had a leopard that went for a swim in neon orange dye, then went for a nap on a cushy green hammocky thing, that's what it'd look like.

Well, at least that's what I was thinking until somebody mentioned the fork, and then I saw the fork... actually, it helps convey the idea that it's meant to be a watermelon...

Also, is it just me or do most of these Wrecks (and Sweets) have more frosting/icing/fondant/whathaveyou than cake?

PS word verifier: hermidi isn't a word.

May 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterProcrastinateher

last wreck= red sickly snoopy sleeping inside a green womb

May 28, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterelisefortson242

That watermelon one looks like a fetus.

Blueberry Sherry!! lmao!! Oh I love it! Thanks!

May 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterElle

Cupcake cakes do not a cake make.

Try saying that ten times fast. *G*

May 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterWolfenM

My five year old wants to know why there is a cactus around the watermelon?

May 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHeather

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