My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Better Dieting Through Cake

NOTE: Now really isn't the time to start eating that bagel - or anything else, for that matter. :D

So, are you ready for swimsuit season? No? Then join the Cake Wrecks Appetite-Suppression Program, and get a thinner you in no time!

Yes, that's right! With a steady "visual diet" of Wrecks like these:

You'll find yourself craving all foods less and less!

For example: Are you having a hard time saying "no" to fatty animal shanks? (Because, really, who isn't?) Well, with our proven "You'll Hope They're Cloves!" model, you're guaranteed to never desire streaky blackened meat-on-the-bone ever again!

You're already reconsidering that lunch order, aren't you? Now imagine the results you'll get with a full 24/7 regimen!

It's so easy! The Cake Wrecks Appetite-Suppression Program contains a heart-healthy sculpted-cake medley of:

Disgusting food products...

(Red meat, green meat, meat that oozes, meat that's rare...)

Enlarged insects...

(Post-stompage for maximum effectiveness)

And of course, plenty of poo-like piles...

(Just a little dab'll do ya!)

All guaranteed to get you the results you want!

And for those dieting emergencies when you need an extra-strength dose of appetite suppressing Wreckage, there's our special "medical specimens" selection:

Filled with jelly, so you won't fill your belly!

Melinda A., Tricia A., Kathleen, Jenn J., Kristin, & Debra F., eat your heart out.

Or don't, 'cuz that's kinda gross.

*Related Wreckage: The Cake Head Diet Aid

« KILL IT WITH FIRE!! (Oh wait, they already did...) | Main | Who's Your "Dady"? »

Reader Comments (144)

I feel ill now.

June 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJust Me,Pilgrim

so gross!

June 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAly

Thank you so much - I was planing on fasting today, and this did the trick!

June 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterNikki


June 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterElleah

The heart is just so... shiny... *shudder*

June 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBrandy

Yes, my appetite is gone. Lost forever. It worked!

June 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterChar

ewww... i think i just lost my appetite for tomorrow and the day after that.

June 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterouT oF My MinD

Those are disgusting!
But the heart cake is kind of cool. Eat your heart out! LOL

~Amy B.
wv: worse "those cakes are worse than I could've ever imagined."

June 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

That is just foul

June 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterNorkio

Well! Started off yesterday with a little bit of vomit thanks to my son; seriously having a hard time avoiding a deja vu experience...yuck!

The bug one, I gotta say, is kinda cool. The best kinda bug is a dead one as far as I'm concerned!

The poo-pile cake is indeed poo-ey; the condensation on the inside of the lid makes it seem even more realistic and "steamy". Like they are FRESH piles. EW.

The heart one is awesome. Not in anyway shape or form edible, but still awesome! I'd LOVE to see it stabbed with a sharp object and see the jelly squirt! :)

June 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTrish

I can't imagine what celebration would call for a red jelly filled heart cake? Are people crazy? Are they trying to gross out their guests? Seriously? Keep up the good work - I have several pounds to lose!

June 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I wasn't too grossed out until you mentioned the jelly in the heart for full effect. That pushed it over the edge.

June 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Nothing right about any of these cakes. . . I threw up a little in my mouth. Just a bit. . .

June 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAleesuhn_Muhree

Or: "a little dab'll DOO ya!"

That meat one looks like it has grill-marked larvae slithering over the top. And what's in the top right corner of that one? A recent hatching?

(and hilarious, as always.)

June 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKarla with a K

I just ate lunch prior to checking out your blog today. Now, I'm full of regret,,urp...excuse me, I just threw up a little in my mouth!

June 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTanzie

This post almost made me throw up in my mouth.

June 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHungarican Chick

BARF! makes me want to puke. seriously!!

June 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

For the poster that saw a muffin and a cinnamon bun in that "meat" one ... I had to look closely (you're welcome) and I do believe the "muffin" is a filet mignon complete with the wrapping of bacon, and the "cinnamon bun" is a beef pinwheel stuffed with spinach and cheese. I have eaten both of these in their real form, but thank God never as a cake.

June 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDebbi

Wow, I've seen some disgusting specimen here before, but these take the cake. (ha!)

Seriously, though, I didn't wholly believe they could be that bad, but leading off with the pus oozing carrots... yep, that pretty much did it.

June 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAurora

These cakes are so disgusting, I almost peed my pants. I couldn't figure out whether to laught or gag!

June 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMicheleinCA

I just threw up in my mouth alittle...

June 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBrianna!

All I can say is.... "wow"

June 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSpencer and Kami

that one looks like a pile of plastic food, to be honest. Bleh.

June 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMorgan the Muse

So am I the only one who wasn't thoroughly grossed out by all of that? I'm not sure I would want to actually eat any of them, but I for one am still looking forward to dinner.
Oh, and the "eat your heart out" comment made me laugh. :)

June 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterStephanie

Eat your heart out!
Serve your heart on a platter!

That one was actually really impressive

June 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterChristina

I knew I should have held off on lunch. I just threw up a little in my mouth.

June 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterShannon

WOW, i'm glad i ate breakfast Before i read this post

June 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAlpha Chick

Those were so wrong. Who comes up these designs?

June 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCanaMama

I have to say, the heart is kinda cool. Maybe that's just the nurse-geek in me talking...

June 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCait

My head's spinning, I'm that nauseous.


I'm honestly the most grossed out by the oozing carrots because they're actually oozing-- like for real!! *retches*

June 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterPassion Fruit

Ohhhhhhh...that pile of meats is just horrid ! I almost gagged...

June 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLynn

I just gave my English muffin to the dog.
That's all I'm sayin...

June 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTatersmama

Gawd. That heart cake is so accurate that I could use it to point out exactly which ones of my coronary arteries are trashed.

All together now: EWWWWWWW!!!!!

June 16, 2009 | Unregistered Commentersunlizzard

The very first thing I though when I saw the 'turkey leg' was "OMG AN ILLITHID!" but then I realized that an Illithid cake would looke so much cooler than that thing.

These are hilarious! And not gross at all to me (if fact Im eating a peanut butter and cherry jam right now)

June 16, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterdawnspring

I have an ironclad alibi for not being aroused by these is that I also have an ironclad stomach.
BUT, I'm really worrying about the big-hearted cake being able to survive! See, it hasn't got all of its parts-(!)- barely seems to be getting by (!), with just its superior vena cava hanging out. I don't like having to ventricle my anguish this way, but's making me crazy!
Why, aorta....!

June 16, 2009 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

Sadly, Cakewrecks is my lunch time treat :-(

June 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKatrina

That first cake definitely looks like a sashimi special...

June 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterChristina M.

I feel thinner already!

June 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterThe Stool Pigeon

The only cake that really looks disgusting to me is the first one with the melting frosting carrots. Yeck! However the meat cake, while oddly colored (they all have grill marks but are bright red? Don't think so!) is actually pretty accurately depicted, and the heart cake is just awesome detail-wise.

wv. Aloaftiz, the first sentence I'll say when I get to Hawaii to visit my friend Ftiz. Aloaftiz!

June 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMiku

My stomach is so strong, I'm still hungry. Not that I'd eat any of those cakes!

June 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAngela

I love meat cakes! I've always wanted them to make a suitable heart pan. (Although liver would most likely be easier.) I'm sad you can only make jello hearts. I love them!

June 16, 2009 | Unregistered Commenter~ L. K.

Funny stuff! Where do you find all these photos by the way?

June 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterWendy

I think the first cake is a winner. Who wouldn't want a few slices of salmon sushi and a blob of green horseradish on their cake????

June 16, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterjanet2buns

Been reading for a while, but this is my first time commenting. I felt compelled to let you know the pile 'o meat cake reduced me to a snorting, crying blob. I really, particularly liked the streaky marching poo.

June 16, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterandrea-p

And... I'm officially repulsed by cake now... my arteries thank you.

June 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAlina

Okay, the Heart cake is well done, but good god - no one outside of the medical community can eat it.

June 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRShini

that's almost enough to put me off cake.

June 16, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterarchersangel

I'm getting a total sashimi vibe from whatever that's supposed to be on the first cake. Say, I wonder if anyone's done sushi cakes yet?

June 16, 2009 | Unregistered Commenteragent57


June 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMelissa (& Billy)

Why? That's what all those cakes leave me thinking.

June 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJulie

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