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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

The "Year" of the "Grad"

The Grad Wreckage is still pouring in, and here I'm rapidly running out of snappy titles. Drat.

In higher education, time loses all meaning.

See? Even the footstool-wearing stomach-cloud knows "that".

Talk about a repeat-offender: we've got you on 19 counts right here, Wreckerator!

And one more for you "unnecessary" quotation marks fans:

Congrats "class" of "09"?

Looks like someone couldn't take the quotation mark abuse anymore and decided to teach that cake a lesson. It kind of worked, too; it's much harder to notice the quotes now.

And speaking of hard-to-read cakes, there oughta be a law against squiggles that look like words:

Elle? Ollie? Edie? Why does the confetti look like writing, and the diploma scroll look like a Seuss hat? Especially when everyone knows you're supposed to make them look like Swiss Rolls, like this?

(Wreckerators, some day you and I need to have a chat about curly ribbon.)

And you thought your senior prom was awkward.

David R., Anony, Judi I., Jenny T., Kristin L., Sarah F., & Steph H., way to "go"!

- Related Wreckage: And They Say Customer Service is Dead

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Reader Comments (77)

Even if you understand the first cake (military, as has already been explained), it's still a wreck...uneven centering, the "gettable" is something I'd like to forget, and the tadpoles swimming around the border... poor "class"

June 24, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterEmily

Squiggle borders the 2nd tool in the arsenal of the cake decorators with no talent (curling ribbon still being #1)

Really Jen, I think we're all ready for "the talk".

The curling ribbon talk that is :D

WV: Whoeste - whoeste be those who go to cake decorators with no talent and expect beautiful cakes.

June 24, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJudy

The first thing I thought when I saw the second form the bottom was
pipe bomb, but that's just me.

June 24, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

My cousins husband went to a small (tiny) christain school and was the only person to graduate his year so maybe that's what's up with the last cake.
She has a good time giving him a hard time about it. She will ask him at random times if he is at his high school reunion,or how it felt to be valadictorian, or to graduate at the bottom of his class (or the top). All in good fun.

June 24, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I saw something totally diffrent at first glance of cake #6.

June 24, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Oh, hey. New class graduation. Not Carrier. Twilight.

June 24, 2009 | Unregistered Commentermsyendor

Okay, has no one else noticed the TERRIBLE icing job, and the big swipes of icing on the cake board for the UMFOgettable cake? I mean, even if it IS written correctly...I'd be takin' that baby back for a refund.

June 24, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterNLC

'UMFOgettable'... What are they trying to say?

"You're just so, um, fogettable?'

June 24, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLoth

I love the Swiss roll diploma ccc solely for the one teeny-tiny plastic Congratulations thing. Totally makes it.

June 24, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

It might be the fact that I work at a sexual health clinic, but that curly-beribboned swiss roll scroll looks a lot like a badly-drawn penis to me!

June 24, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterNicola

Thanks, Matt Frye, for the explanation. I knew the "0901" was a military class number (my husband was in the Navy), and was going to guess that the "UMFO" ended in "Officer", but your response is much better than mine would've been. :D (Now, the edging on said cake is questionable, but...)

June 24, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMamawheelie

Anonymous alluded to this above, but I'd like to use quotes correctly and point out that it is "Seuss" rather than "Suess". In my opinion, "Suess" is the CCC of the children's literature world....

June 24, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJen

I just wanted to point out how the swiss cake roll diploma looks like a toilet paper roll and the two brown cupcakes look like a doodie. :)

June 24, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Oh, no !
More plastic junk on cakes is just not right and when it is repeated over and over, it is worse...lazy decorating alert !

June 24, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLynn

Great, now I'm probably going to look up clips from Carrie on youtube before I go to sleep. I can see where this is going.

June 24, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterGlory von Hathor

Ah, the vampire grad cake. You knew there had to be an entire class made up of "Twilight" fans, didn't you?

June 24, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterScritzy

I personally graduated in the class of Andy, Dave and Steven, but we didn't get a cake :(

June 24, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I was at the drug store earlier and they had Father's Day and graduation stuff on clearance. Some of the plates said :


Made me think of Cake Wrecks, but at least they used quotes to show they knew they were spelling it wrong :)

June 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJessica

The bleeding cake is WAAYYY nasty. I coulda eaten a piece if not for the "seepage". Cake and seepage do not work together!

On the subject of curly ribbon, why do decorators put ANYTHING inedible on a cake to start with?! If you have to unload mega poundage of undigestable crap before you eat something, what the heck is the point of putting it on there in the first place? If I can't slice it and stuff it in my face ASAP, I don't want it!

June 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTrish

The second to last cake totally looks like penis-wrapped-in-a-bow. Congratulations, grad!

June 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHawkeyerant

The Dr Seuss hat red cross diploma looked more like an open can to me, and those strange random squiggles look a bit like worms. So graduating is like opening up a can of worms? Well I suppose it is in some cases.

Meanwhile the one below looks very disturbing, for all the reasons other posters have listed. And what's with the curly ribbon anyway? There's already a ribbon done in icing, so it's just superfluous. And I thought curling ribbon was meant to look pretty, this stuff looks like roadkill.

June 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterWolvie Girl

I used to like cupcakes until you exposed all of the cupcake abusers in cakedom.

June 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBig Doofus

Oh dear god! Whatever you do don't follow the Jello link Hoffman posted if you ever want to eat Jello again in this life time. I think I'm going to be sick.

June 25, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterdenestria

Um, is that cake supposed to say "UMFOrgettable" or "UMFOgettable"? Because I don't see an "r" there.

June 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Please fix the tag on the "0901" cake. The number is correct, which makes it not classifiable as a cakewreck.

The border, and crooked spelling, however, put it squarely in the cakewreck list.

The tagline just shows the wrong reason for right now.

June 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

Aagghh!! The quotation marks! Make them stop!

I see an updated version of "The Sorcerer's Apprentice" with Mickey trying to stop the hordes of quotation marks from enclosing all that is said...

June 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAthena

Hmm, the squiggly line on the Red Cross cake looks more like arabic than an attempt at writing actual English words.

July 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterThemePark

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