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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Tassel Hassles

Hey, look! Amber went back to school!

Looks like her folks are still using the same bakery, though. (Piles of dead leaves are such a "hassel", aren't they?)

This next Wreck sees Amber's "hassel", and raises it a "taffle":

If only it had been in quotes - "taffle" would leave so much more romper-room for the imagination, don't you think?

Speaking of lots of room, Courtney M. asked the bakery for a Star Wars graduation cake, and this is what she got:

Well, Courtney, there is a lot of space. So, you know, it could be a metaphor.

Where some Wreckerators call it a day after a lime-headed Yoda and a plastic grad cap, though, others keep going, and going, and...


'Scuse me, Mr. or Ms. Wreckerator, but I think you missed a spot. Could you cram a few more "09"s on the top? Oh, and while I have you here, a few questions:

1) What are you congratulating math for?
2) Does that inscription really say "this book is for smart people only please donoot atemple to open if you are not smart"?

It does? Ok, then my next question is...

3) For the love of crossed-out-but-not-corrected spelling errors, why? I mean, wouldn't only the really dumb people try to open a cake that only resembles a book in that it is somewhat flat and rectangular? Or am I over thinking this? (Don't answer that, Wreckies; I'm talking to the decorator here.)

Jess K's mom ordered a graduation cake for her brother. To keep it simple, she asked for the cake to read "Woo-hoo Tommy!" Instead, she got:

Unintentionally appropriate with a side of sneering sarcasm. I like it.

Sabrina S., Jess G., & Maureen, you each get a gold star beside your name on my monitor. (Granted, this may make typing a little more diggifult, but fortunetly I learned to typr by touch.)

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Reader Comments (86)

I think that Yoda is cute!

June 29, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterchelsea

Ooohhhh. Those are abysmal!

VW: rudinput

I have some rudinput for these people who can't spell or follow directions.

June 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMiranda

I think math is being congratulated on finally shortening the quadratic equation. Instead of "x= + or -b, times the square root of 4ac, all over 2a, it is now simply =+squareroot. Nice.


June 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterThe

ROFLOL! That's hilarious, I wonder if Cake Bakeries around the world wait for girls named Amber to come, order a cake, so they can wreck it....

Also I think you have that second cake entirely wrong, you see Rhianna just graduated from a vocational school, see? Oh you don't? Well She went to a Candy Making college, with a masters in the taffy-puller. So that cake was supposed to say "The Taffy's worth the hassle" yeah......... That's it....

June 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterVeggieT

The only thing that would make that math book cake better would be if it were a CCC!

June 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDanielle

tassel, hassel, taffle--don't worry, who'll ever notice, but the math thing is just uggggly.
Boo Hoo, indeed! But at least he got sprinkles.

June 29, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterdrgns4vr

I think I shall forever ponder a Taffle's worth.

June 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnnimal

Who even knew that "the tassels worth the hassle" was even a graduation saying commonly known. Maybe it's only "shared" in the cake wrecking community.

June 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLindalou

On the first one: since the whole phrase is in quotes and obviously they're quoting SOMEONE since someone...ah...attempted the same phrase on the next cake, are the quotes REALLY that wrong on the first one...?

I mean there's plenty of other things wrong, like how it's feeding time for the leeches up in the corner! I'm just not really having a problem with the quotes.

I AM having a problem with congratulating Math! Why does no one want to congratulate Physics!?

June 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLaurenH

...I just don't understand why we are congratulating math. What did math do for me lately?

June 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJulie

Boo-hoo He didn't graduate? LOL

June 29, 2009 | Unregistered Commentersleeplessnights04

The second cake is clearly using the f-shaped ligature-s, fashionable in the 18th century. Thanks, wrongly-maligned wreckorator, for keeping archaic but still-classy font choices alive!

June 29, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterjayspec

Perhaps Tommy didn't actually get the diploma, which would make the boo-hoo appropriate. Either way, poor Tommy.

June 29, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterknitorpurl

These are truly awful! You didn't even mention the weird scribbles-that-could-be words on the bottom of the math cake! What is that? "nadondoom"??

June 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSkye

At least the tassel wasn't worth a Hasselhoff cake.

June 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSharon

Notice the 6 on the Math cake looks like a chewed up piece of gum?

June 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSarah

I just love the Boo hoo Tommy cake. I think that one deserves to be made into a wreckerators apron.

June 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMelinda

I love the math cake. Love it. But the one that really got me was Tommy's. I laughed, I cried. It was like a Broadway play without the music. Fabulous!

wv: poksp- This generation's Great Gatsby. The entire thing takes place on Facebook.

June 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterEm

These are so wonderfully terrible.

I am glad you spelled out the writting on the math cake, my head couldn't take looking at it that closely.


June 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Jayspec is right on the theory. Although it's not a ligature-s, it's a Long S. I formed a currently ſolo movement to reſtore the uſe of Long S to common language. The only reaſon it was abandoned to begin with is that printers were lazy and cheap. So I've ſtarted uſing it in daily writing where appropriate. many of my more learned friends underſtand and have no problem with it. Others ask me why I'm writing Fs inſtead of Ss :)

June 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJoshua

Jen, you did it again, left me speechless! "lime-green Yoda head" LOL too funny! I find myself quoting you in the announcer voice from the Muppet Show, "Space In SSSSPPPPAAAAAAAAACCCEEE!"

June 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterEmily

At least Tommy got sprinkles!

June 29, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterdarkshines

I do NOT want to know what's on the first cake. It looks like...well, I won't say but it's just barftastic.

I think that's the cutest Yoda ever! Just make him a little bigger and voila!

It's too bad about the boo hoo cake. It's actually very tastefully done and looks quite festive.

Wreck on!

June 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMelissa (& Billy)

I hope Amber went to the University of Texas, because there is no ohter reason for that color of brownorange.

WV: drati. What some recipients of these wrecks say when they see the cake.

June 29, 2009 | Unregistered Commentermarybindc

"Boo Hoo" cake is FUNNY!

The orange one that just doesn't stop? Oh. My. Heck. Love it. I'd laugh so hard if I got a cake that busy with words...even if the words made sense. Bwa ha ha!

June 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDangGina

At least the Wreckerator responsible for the "Boo-hoo Tommy" cake has excellent cake-handwriting. (Is there a word for "cake-handwriting"?) The mistake looks much classier that way.

June 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I got my own space... in space. Boosh Boosh Boosh! :D

June 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJennypen

It's seeming more and more obvious that bakeries should require a dictionary..or the kitchen at all times!

~Amy B.

June 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

Boo hoo Tommy, that is my favorite.

June 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMorgan the Muse

Perhaps the recepient of the "Math" cake is of Welsh decent, and was named after" rel="nofollow">Math fab Mathonwy. Or something.

June 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRedd

The Math one is nauseating....

June 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Long time lurker, first time commenter.

Wow... That wreck was so bad I never even got to see it.
I guess its better that way. I mean they shouldn't make fun a persons FAFFLE! I may studder alot but a cake is just mean!

June 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRhianna

I'd love to get the "Boo-Hoo" cake for my nephew, Tommy, who is a very sensitive soul. Poor kid cries at everything.

June 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Not to echo the other Melinda (I need an avatar to clear up any Melinda confusion), but the Boo-Hoo Tommy cake was my absolute favorite. I was reading along grinning until I got to that one, then I burst out laughing.

wv: Bleth, what the wreckerator wrote on Beth's graduation cake.

June 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMelinda

Oh my, the math cake...just...oh my.

June 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

jayspec said...
"The second cake is clearly using the f-shaped ligature-s, fashionable in the 18th century."
Okay...I'll bite. WHY, then, is the word "Hassel" NOT making use of the same type of "s"? Both words are on the same cake, for corn's sake.
Wait! Wait! I know: the cake was STARTED in the 18th century, and FINISHED in the 20th.

June 29, 2009 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

Obviously looking up the word "hassle" in the dictionary was too much of a bother too.
Hassel was a Norwegian scientist. Yep, that's just what I'd want on my cake.

June 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterNitrocat

I, for one, am not likely to try and OPEN a math least not until I've checked it out of the Librarakery.
I prefer Pi anyway.

June 29, 2009 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

I think the Math cake is hideous, but it does have some promise. I think the scribbles are attempting to illustrate a corrected paper by a teacher. I think the cake is attempting some sort of mental flashback of 12 years of school. Still VERY poorly executed.

How about bad TWILIGHT cakes?? That would be awesome! Or maybe a Twilight Sunday Sweets?

June 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterColleen

Personally, I'm smart enough to not try to open a math book after college... much less a math CAKE. Yikes.

Altho, if all the math books were really made of cake, I might have done better in calculus.

wv: genne
The Genne was obviously not paying attention when these people wished for non-wrecked cakes.

June 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAngie

Amber's and Christian's cakes both have a mortarboard-on-a-black-saucer thing going on--what's up with that? Since WHEN do mortarboards have BRIMS on them?
It looks weird.
I mean this sincerely: aside from that small glitch, the cakes are truly lamentable.

June 29, 2009 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

I really want to know how the decorators even let these abominations leave the store!
The Yoda one is hilarious just because of the weirdly placed "decorations" and the lettering that gets bigger and smaller throughout...

WV: raxobarf -- these cakes must have come from raxobarf.

June 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda

I have not laughed this hard in two months.

June 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLael

Maybe the wreckerator of the "taffle" cake was using the Long S letter, common in English until it became an obsolete letter some 150 years ago. "Taſſle" reads the same "tassle" in this regard.

June 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLuke

On a related note, because it's in your comments:

Is there a difference between Wreckers and Wreckies? Like with the Star Treck people? Some of us just enjoy Cake Wrecks and know the terminology and can reference our favorites, and some of us go driving from bakery to bakery searching for Wrecks, and even attend conventions dressed up as our favorite Wreck? If so, I believe that my invitation to the last Cake-Con was lost in the mail. I *totally* would have come as a naked baby on a carrot.

I'm hurt, guys... really hurt.

June 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMalMal

"Boo Hoo Tommy" made me laugh til I cried! Maybe the Wreckerator was combining "Woo Hoo!" and "Boo Yah!"??? Ok, mebbe not.

wv: huralls (slang) combination of "Hurray" and "Y'alls".

June 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJulie H

MalMal said...
"... I *totally* would have come as a naked baby on a carrot."
And would you be sporting a Mohawk haircut as well?
I'll ask this, too (as long as we're riding the train to Fantasy Land): Where would you get a big enough carrot to ride in on?
Ahhh...the images cavorting in my mind (of a carnival-like atmosphere for a "Wreckies" convention) are MORE than tantalizing...!

June 29, 2009 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

I apologize in advance. I can't resist.

in best Barbie voice

"Math is hard!"

*withering sigh*

June 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCyndi

In partial defense of a mostly indefensible wrecktastic cake, my partner's name is Math, so that is one plausible possibility for the "why?" question.


June 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRooz

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