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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Tassel Hassles

Hey, look! Amber went back to school!

Looks like her folks are still using the same bakery, though. (Piles of dead leaves are such a "hassel", aren't they?)

This next Wreck sees Amber's "hassel", and raises it a "taffle":

If only it had been in quotes - "taffle" would leave so much more romper-room for the imagination, don't you think?

Speaking of lots of room, Courtney M. asked the bakery for a Star Wars graduation cake, and this is what she got:

Well, Courtney, there is a lot of space. So, you know, it could be a metaphor.

Where some Wreckerators call it a day after a lime-headed Yoda and a plastic grad cap, though, others keep going, and going, and...


'Scuse me, Mr. or Ms. Wreckerator, but I think you missed a spot. Could you cram a few more "09"s on the top? Oh, and while I have you here, a few questions:

1) What are you congratulating math for?
2) Does that inscription really say "this book is for smart people only please donoot atemple to open if you are not smart"?

It does? Ok, then my next question is...

3) For the love of crossed-out-but-not-corrected spelling errors, why? I mean, wouldn't only the really dumb people try to open a cake that only resembles a book in that it is somewhat flat and rectangular? Or am I over thinking this? (Don't answer that, Wreckies; I'm talking to the decorator here.)

Jess K's mom ordered a graduation cake for her brother. To keep it simple, she asked for the cake to read "Woo-hoo Tommy!" Instead, she got:

Unintentionally appropriate with a side of sneering sarcasm. I like it.

Sabrina S., Jess G., & Maureen, you each get a gold star beside your name on my monitor. (Granted, this may make typing a little more diggifult, but fortunetly I learned to typr by touch.)

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Reader Comments (86)

Did anyone watch Cake Boss tonight? The Doves in the cake idea freaked me out alot, but the execution was incredible!
And those "exotic" cakes as Cake Momma called them. ahem, um... well let's just say that they were incredibly detailed, and the client very happy. Jenny, did you see it, and what did you think?

June 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMA

I'm pretty sure I saw that math cake as a greeting card. It would make more sense that way. Still ugly as a cake, though. Another thought - maybe it was supposed to be for Matt instead of Math.

June 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLee

The Boo Hoo one made me laugh for quite awhile. Especially the caption.

June 30, 2009 | Unregistered Commentertwitchywoman

Actually, I think the baker of the Math! cake is getting a bum deal. I think the person ordering it brought in the graduate's math book and asked for an exact duplicate of the cover. Hence, you have a monstrosity of bored and somewhat deranged writings of various unknown persons over a multitude of years. (We all know how much time passes before they spring for new textbooks.)

June 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterStillapill

That deaf dumb and blind boy sure cries a lot.

June 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMorgan

"Taffle" reminds me of the old-style S-that-looks-like-f that you see, for example, in the US constitution.

Various spellings of "hassel" mean "hazel" in several Germanic languages, and are the basis of the word for "hazelnut". I'm not sure whether the tassel is worth a hazelnut though.

June 30, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterjackie31337

If you ignore all the mistakes and just look at the color of icing on all the cakes, you will still be reaching for pepto-bismal!! Seriously the colors should be banned LOL.

June 30, 2009 | Unregistered Commentertwinklescrapbooks

The penmanship on Tommy's cake was lovely! At least he's got that going for him.

My rehearsal dinner cake was a bit of a wreck. I'll have to scan that in and submit it.


June 30, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterlainielou

Well, I waf going to fay what Jayfpec faid, but no need to be repetitive. :)
Erin G.

June 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

It cracks me up that "Congratulations" is finally spelled right, but now they can't spell "hassle."

June 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLI Laura

Choice of icing colours...Fail.

wv: dualed...a term used to describe someone who has role played two characters in RGP chat rooms. Dualling is usually forbidden.

June 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHyena Overlord

LOL!!! This is hysterical!

June 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterThe Little Jewelry Box

That last one made me try to pass my coffee through my nose! (yuck)

Thanks for the laugh.


June 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Of COURSE I would have a mohawk. As for the carrot, well... let's just see how well this Miracle Grow really works, shall we?

I really think a Cake-Wreck-Con would be awesome. As long as nobody came as Olivia (of "Push Olivia Push").

wv: dieramp. Certain onramps in the LA freeway system.

June 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMalMal

this post made snot come out my nose. and i don't have a cold. not even allergies.

i love you.

June 30, 2009 | Unregistered Commentergabi

Boo-Hoo! I think that is my ultimate favorite. I almost lost my pudding cup I was laughing so hard.

I think the who decorator who correctly spelled "Congratulations" (even though she messed up both "tassel" and "hassle" pretty royally) deserves some credit though!

June 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRunning 365

Can someone tell me what wv stands for?

June 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCrazy Cat Lady

I must say they are all awful in their own ways but I have to admit, I smiled when I read your comments and I saw the happy face Yoda cake ( you already know my opinion of plastic junk on cakes )...

I can't remember the little guy looking so cute or carefree ! LOL

June 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLynn

For a math graduate, this cake must be sort of depressing. It just screams "Congratulations for getting a degree in absurd gibberish that I'm not gonna pretend like I care about! Here, stuff it with a square root with a plus sign."

June 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnna

Holy McMoly. Wowzerella, even. Those colors, for heaven's sake.

The...ahem, "patriotic" cake with the airbrushing...all I could think of was that the eagle had eaten a boatload of mixed berries before he took flight over THAT cake...urgh.

Also, that MATH!! cake clearly has a mistake...7 divided by a does not equal oddly-angled different-colored 09. That's just fail.

(Hey Crazy Cat Lady! "wv" is the word-verification thingie we have to type before our comments will post. For some reason, the ones here at Cake Wrecks are--like Cake Wrecks itself--awesomer than the rest, and thus are very receptive to having Wrecky definitions made up to fit them. For example, mine:)

wv: aphicke. The cake looked as though it were infested with aphickes; then again, perhaps some pesticide might have improved the flavor.

June 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterGladys

That third Yoda/Grad Cap cake is going to have me scratching my head for days...make that weeks.

June 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRusty and Bandit

Your blog makes me happy.

June 30, 2009 | Unregistered Commentermerceb

Alrighty, then! That's settled.
We'll watch for such a gathering, and I'm confident that all in attendance will be on the lookout for a naked, Mohawk-headed person with a HUGE carrot.
I agree: Olivia should be barred from our convention. There has to be *some* measure of decorum.

June 30, 2009 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

"Taffle"- gotta love it. LOL!

June 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterYummy in my tummy

I don't think the words are crossed out and not fixed... There is a brown squiggle nowhere near a word. I think those are poorly placed confetti/streamers. I guess that would mean the spelling is just atrocious.

Thanks, Gladys!

July 8, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCrazy Cat Lady

Those are not "f"s in Tassle they are clearly old fashioned long "s"s. The decorator has some sort of degree in Old English but doesn't get to use it a lot.

July 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJoanna Schaff

wow, the wreckerator of the second cake is clearly from the early 1800's. those ff's look strikingly similar to the weird-looking s's you used to see in old-timey type.

September 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRachel Leastlikely

Sorry, I disagree. Those are Fs. If they were Ss then the ones in "Hassel" (sic) would look the same.

October 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKaren E. Rice

I'm going to go against the crowd and say that I love the math one. I think it must be a joke, crossed out spelling errors, nonsensical messages, it must be a wreck on purpose. Math's celebrators hopefully asked for it to be that ugly.

I just pre-ordered a cake to say, "Happy New Years! Congratulations on Your no Babies '09. For Serious, bros. Mission Accomplished!" the baker kind of looked at the form, asked me if I was sure that was what I wanted, repeated it back to me, checked the punctuation and capitalization, and asked me for a color scheme.

I hope that the math cake was made by an equally dedicated baker.

October 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLily

I've read a little bit about handwriting analysis. In the "Boo-Hoo Tommy" cake, the Y has a little claw on it. People who do that feel guilty about something and subconsciously try to create reasons for people to get angry at them.

February 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterOsaka_Mary

My favorites were Rhianna's taffle cake and Boo-Hoo Tommy! I can't believe how awful these cakes are!

Also, I have a hard time congratulating Math. I think they should make a Biology cake. No wait.... considering the way Wreckerators make frogs, that's not a good idea.

April 10, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterwhirlofwings

"At least the tassel wasn't worth a Hasselhoff cake." - great comment. Made me laugh xx

October 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCupcakes Lady

Maybe the congratulations was supposed to go to Matt, not math. It is a post on misspellings after all...

June 2, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Late to the party here, I know, but the first thing I thought of when I saw the math cake was the book "Math Curse"
Math Curse has an orange cover, and is full of random maths, and I think the inscription on the cake might come from that. I haven't read Math Curse in years, though, so I don't remember.

August 11, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda

HA! I totally need that Boo Hoo cake, for my husband (Tommy) next time he has a pity party!

September 29, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterjulse

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