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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Tuesday
Jun302009

A Cake Wrecks Salute

Today we salute you, Mr. or Mrs. Patriotic Cake Wreckerator.

[singing] "Mr. or Mrs. Patriotic Cake WreckoRAAATor!"

Yes, in a sea of national complacency, you are the one shining beacon of truth, justice, and proper icing depictions of the American flag:

"Hey, Betsy Ross would be pro-oud!"

And when it comes to the star placement on those flags. you don't let petty things like "perspective" or "scale" get in your way:

"Ooooh, I think you need a few mo-ore!"

Yes, no other cake decorator loves this country quite the way you do, or has our sacred borders drawn on their hearts in quite the same way:

"At least you got Florida!"

So here's to you, Faithful Fan of the Frosted Flag. Because without you, tinsel and airbrushing and cliched eagle photos would never end up on Cake Wrecks, where we all know they belong:

"Mr. or Mrs. Patriotic Cake Wreckeraaaaa-tor!"

Thanks to Wreckporters Danae H., Kate B., Scott W., & Emily J., who are clearly more patriotic than you are.

- Related Wreckage: Somewhere in Kabul, there is an Italian bakery

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Reader Comments (125)

I didn't realize Mexico and Canada had been swallowed by the blue icing ocean! Tragic really.

June 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCami

Alas...these are just a small collection of the "beautiful" birthday cakes I have had over the last 36 years:(

So, I'm reading this and my fiance's reading over my shoulder. I scrolled down to the CCC attempt at the country and he says "Is that a Christmas tree?"

June 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKatie S.

Yes, Canadian Flags tomorrow. It's Canada's birthday.

Oh, and the white CCC looks like a lumpy old backside with two ermmm, well you know what they look like.

wv: frumps...used to describe some of the dresses my grandmother used to buy for me when I lived with her.

June 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHyena Overlord

i love the beer commercials and all but this post totally made my day. great idea! ahahahahaha

June 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Ooh! Does this mean we can expect Canada Day related wrecks tomorrow? (It is Canada Day after all :D)

June 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDani

Yeah, sure, they left out California's foot... BUT WAIT--THERE'S MORE!!! Apparently, something dreadful has also happened to Alaska, Maine, most of New England, and Hawaii . So, to Mr. or Ms. "I Love the USA! - but-I-just-can't-be-bothered-with-trying-to-make-this-thing-look- like-an-actual-map" : SIT on it. Face first, please.
On that last cake, I was thinking that the eagle looks like a plastic figurine, rather than a photo; it looks kind of 3D.
This once-proud, iconic symbol appears to be landing with a screeching halt on a bloody crime scene.. .Oh, wait--it IS.
=^><^=

June 30, 2009 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

OK that second cake with the weird flags - is anyone seeing either two spindly hands holding open a spread-out buttcrack? Either that or a very, very strangely decorated ladypart. Something about the angle of those two 'flags' curving away from each other...*shudder*

July 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJenna

It took me a moment to get that the stripes are not supposed to be blue... I think I am spending too much time at work.

July 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMorgan the Muse

I am pretty sure it is just me, but the second one looks like a bikini top!

July 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDana

This pictures give me idea to create a Philippines version of cake where i can call it national cake...

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July 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCebuanong Hilaw

Brilliant idea to put the post to, um, music? The tune has been in my head for almost a full day!
Here's one for you... Everybody was Kung Fu Fighting. Those kids were fast as lightning.

July 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRaiselM

VERY WELL DONE! I could hear the commercial in my head as i read it. Hilarious!!

July 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I salute you, Jenn for combining two of my favorite things- the 'Real Men' ads and Cake Wrecks!! I totally sang through the whole post. The guy singing in the background makes the whole thing! Happy Fourth!

July 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

This was absolutely hilarious. Like for reals. I think this is now my favorite post. I read the whole thing in those guys' voices.
You really had the cadences and everything just down! Fantastic stuff.

July 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLisa

If you turn that map one upside down you could end up with a real ugly Statue of Liberty.

I didn't say you could improve it, just was trying to figure out that the shape may have been meant for.

Ann

July 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnn

I've never noticed quite how much Florida looks like a big ol' wang hanging off the USA. Way to go, CCC makers!

July 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterIrreverendAmy

Oh, and "God Bless America"? No way.

That thing says "Goobless America".

YES IT DOES.

July 2, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJenna

I really tend to think that's a wonky eagle figurine on that last one as opposed to an eagle picture.

July 2, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJohanna

Nice take on the commercial. Some of the best marketing ever, even if I still don't drink that beer. I do want to eat cake now, though.

July 2, 2009 | Unregistered Commenternicole

This is my favorite post of yours in recent memory. I'm in a college library right now, and I couldn't stop laughing - I drew a few stares.

July 8, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTiffany Dyer

The "cupcake cake" with the states on this post? My 6 year old was looking at this with me and said...hey! A tooth! LOL!

July 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHaysfever

I know I'm way late to the party here, but my husband and I are big fans of the "Real Men of Genius" ads, so I just have to express my appreciation for this awesome post. So funny!

August 8, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Oh, I really loathe those commercials..but you did it well. As usual. Thanks, I think. :p

September 23, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterhyphen8

lol... homage to the bud song was fantastic! Very funny xx

October 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCupcakes Lady

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