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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Friday
Jun052009

And Now, MORE Weird Wedding Cakes

Aw, you know you love it.

Monica G. thinks this cake from the Wilton website looks like it's covered with rocks. I, however, say it looks like a pottery project. Covered in rocks.

And here we have...

A fish tank.

In a wedding cake.

That is all.

(Thanks, Phyllis L.)

If that isn't fishy enough for you, though, there's always this option:

(Look closely.) I am amazed, Karin. Completely freaked out, but amazed.

(UPDATE: Nope, these aren't Koi fish. Or imitation crab meat. For a close-up and explanation, go here.)

Laura M. tells me this next one is a "new take on a croquembouche gone awry". Now, I have no idea what a "croquembouche" is, but from looking at the photo...

I'm going to guess it's French for "albino booby tower".

And lastly, let's take a "peep" at Courtney S.'s find:

Hm. Now why does this topper remind me of the final scene in Beetlejuice?

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Reader Comments (298)

The first one looks yummy. Ugly as sin, but yummy. Dead fish, do not look yummy. Also, I feel compelled to stand next to the fish tank one to catch it.

June 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJessi

What does it say about the prospects of the bride and groom if their cake consists of a pile of bloody shark corpses. Although it is interesting to read the different interpretations of the cake in the comments. It's like a gross, edible, if not somewhat indigestible, Rorschach test.

glad i'm not the only one who thought that was a tampon cake.

June 5, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterjen renee

Changing the topper would make the Peeps cake go from being a Wreck to a Sweet. I love the idea and the overall look of the cake, just the topper is too bizzaro for me.

Would have been better if they'd had two Peeps chicks, one with a veil and the other with a bow tie.

the Koi cake is...interesting. Very well done! But...yeeeeeesh!

I think I may be the only one who likes the chocolate truffle(rocks) cake. But that's cause I'm a serious chocoholic. :)

June 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDawnspring

Fish tank cake is soooo gross.

We have an albino booby tower and an albino slaughtered shark tower... great combination!

Also I LOVE peeps.. but that cake is total Beetlejuice.

wv:dentiosp:The kind of specialist you have to see after eating something that looks like poo-ed rocks on a pottery project.

June 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLizard

re # 3, I saw twisted candy canes at first too. Then it morphed into second-hand feminine hygiene products. Yuckeroonie!!

June 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I love how the bridal veil is like one giant fish net. Awesome.

June 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAli Mae

We really need an explanation for#3. Really.

June 5, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterfoobella

I kinda love the Koi fish one! I know weird. And Jen........"ALBINO BOOBY TOWER"!!!!!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!

I have spent the day puking my guts up and just as i was feeling a bit better along you come and make me laugh so hard I have to go back to the bathroom!
YOU ARE A STAR!
Please make an "Albino booby tower" tshirt!

June 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterVashti

I'm totally on board with the Peeps cake. We love our Peeps in Seattle -- every year, the Seattle Times holds a contest seeking the most creative tableaux using Peeps. Just google Seattle Times Peeps and view the slideshows. Amazing.

June 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBrava97

I agree with those who've said the third cake is intended to be covered in live Koi, not dead fish. (Koi are often white with red, round markings). However, having THAT many Koi all crammed together in a very small space still sort of makes it seem vastly implausible that said fish could be alive...

June 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMolly

Yes, I'm sure they're meant to koi, or Japanese Coloured Carp, too (but the red, blood-like airbrushing seeping onto the cake board is really very unfortunate). If they are koi, they're Tancho Kohaku, a variety that are white with one round red spot on the head. They're a particular favourite of collectors and the Japanese in general, because they're said to resemble the Japanese flag.

June 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAtlantys

That second fish cake looks like what you'd get if an old lady had a candy bowl shaped like an inverted wedding cake and you went and took out the ribbon candy that had been in there for 10 years.

June 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAndy

Not only are these cakes horrid and disturbing, did anyone else notice that the fish tank cake was leaning? Sure hope it didn't fall over!

June 5, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterduncnjacksmom

If I'm repeating something that's already been said a million times, forgive me, for the comments up to this point don't mention this:

www.flickr.com/photos/theladygloom/3400938580/

'3 ft tall. Made to be displayed as part of an awareness campaign depicting the cruelty of the brutal killings of sharks to make sharks fin soup usually served at Chinese weddings"

June 5, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterfoobella

they look like koi fish

June 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTlou

That third one -- imitation crab cake?

And a nice finish with the Peepheads!

Justin T.

June 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

"Albino booby tower" almost made my coffee come out of my nose!

That koi fish thing is just nasty, but it is a nice touch that some of the red blotches are heart-shaped. How romantic.

June 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJulie

A Peep cake would be awesome...but only if the Peeps are properly stale! ("fresh" Peeps [shudder])

The cake topper is oddly cute...the happy couple and their peeps!

June 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

What the...? Does that one cake have a bunch of dead whales on it???

June 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMary

I have to say that a secretly love the peep cake. We were fond of peep-based art projects growing up. I seem to recall a mobile called "Peep Show"....

But the fish cakes freak me out to no end. I hate hate HATE fish, and I would have to refuse cake (which is a sin in my family).

And I agree about the fish cake, I SO thought it was used tampons. GROSS.

June 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLaura

ok...i could deal with the first few cakes, but that peeps cake is going to give me freaking NIGHTMARES!!!

June 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJust Me,Pilgrim

How sad is it that, of the options available, I *want* to believe that wedding cake is just koi? Because my first instinct said speared shark. (I mean, look! They have little stabby marks and everything!)

D-:

June 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAurora

I think the first, while strange looks really good..
are the balls of chocolate Ferror Rocher?! If so.. YUM!
A Croquembouche was already described, however that one looks like they dipped them in white chocolate or vanilla and gave them a "vampire tit" appearance ...
which is just wrong.

The fish tank, is actually rather neat.. though it is leaning or just a horrid picture? the one that looks like it's bleeding fish is terrible..
My father would have probably LOVED the peep one.. freaky deak that he is :P

June 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKisa

Poop Mountain, man.

June 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHalf Assed Kitchen

The 3rd to last cake is just wrong. I really wish I could unsee it. Why anyone would want a stack of gutted fish (Beluga whales?) for their wedding cake is so far beyond me that I can only assume that they were trying to make some sort of eco-friendly political commentary in cake.

Like the vegans who give you flyers on the mistreatment of chicken while trying to convert you.

**No whales were harmed in the construction of this comment.**

WV: props - Mad props to Jen for another amazing post!

PS - Whiskey Tango Foxtrot is my favorite code for WTF! I thought I was the only one who knew it.

June 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterYota Armai

That bleeding fish cake is truly, truly disturbing. I may have nightmares. That pastry chef (and I use the term loosely) should be arrested, put away, and forbidden to ever bake again!

June 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAndrea

I'm sure I will be wondering all day and late, late into the night as to what kind of couple feels the best portrayal of them is standing atop a cake of dead fish. yep....And now I'm wondering about their registry.

June 5, 2009 | Unregistered Commentergrimperspective

Why I love this site:
Cake #3. I thought it was candy canes...I'm hoping it is candy canes. It scares me.

Whiskey-Tango-Foxtrot? My new favorite phrase.

There's a PEEPS group on Ravelry? I'm joining now!

June 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterWendy

W.T.F.
(W standing for WHY.)

I wish my wedding cake had been a giant tower of bloody bandages. Maybe the happy couple met in the ER?

June 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterApril

I definitely think the "fish" one looks like bloody tampons. EWWWWWWWWW. Who would want to eat that cake! Ack.

-Cakedreamer
http://cakedreamer.blogspot.com

June 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCakedreamer

Uhh...whales giving birth?

June 5, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterkateohkatie

Ok, I HAD to figure out what the dead fish one was and found this:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/theladygloom/3400938580/

"3 ft tall. Made to be displayed as part of an awareness campaign depicting the cruelty of the brutal killings of sharks to make sharks fin soup usually served at Chinese weddings."

This strangely makes me feel better than the thought of a bride saying "you know what would be awesome for our cake?! DEAD SHARKS!!"

June 5, 2009 | Unregistered Commentertiggergirl0325

I was thinking exactly the same thing...the Beetlejuice couple! The bleeding fish one is just absolutely disgusting and weird.

June 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAlli

Yes to Beetlejuice! (Thought that before I ever scrolled down!)

And thanks for trying to get me into trouble! I had to cleverly disguise my fit of laughter over "albino booby cake" (can't even type it without giggling) as a choking/coughing fit. I annoyed the whole office! Why didn't you mark this "Not safe for work"?

Love it!

June 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterGina

The first 3 cakes are really cool! I mean, the first cake does look like pottery filled with dirt, but I have a feeling that it is delicious!

And the fish tank is super cool. Too bad its not level! And can you imagine the amount of work that went into that tower of fish? Impressive.

The other two, however, are... woah. The peeps scare the heck out of me.

June 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDawn

WOW! and I thot the armada was bad yesterday. (I still can't figure out how they made all those arms stay in that postition)

Are those dis-embowed (sp?) fish? EWW EWW EWW EWW EWW EWW!

June 5, 2009 | Unregistered Commentervix

Why does that first cake immediately remind me of the South Park song from Chef about his chocolate salty balls?

June 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBB

It's funny. The others are all far worse, but I know it's the Peeps cake that will haunt my nightmares tonight.

Also? Albino booby tower is the best description ever.

June 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTwistie

See, I'm thinking that the "koi" cake is actually clubbed baby seals. Maybe this was for some sort of crazy PETA event? They do weird shock-value stuff like that...

June 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterPhilamaz

*shakes head*
The peep cake...too much!

June 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRebecca Welch

That doesn't look like bloody fish, it looks like Manatees that came a little too close to a boat's prop.

Wow. I'd love to hear the back story on that one.

June 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I am really, really glad I wasn't the only person to see tampons in that dead fish cake.

"Would you like another piece?" "No thanks, I've still got the string stuck in my teeth from the last bit..."

By comparison, bizarre dead fish are positively lovely.

June 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

There's a fish tank. In a cake. A fish tank, in a cake.

I have seen it ALL now.

O.o

Signed, a very confused fishkeeper.

June 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTuxedo Elf

I think the fish tank cake is kind of cool...

June 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLa Beq

I'm actually kinda sad that someone who runs a cake blog didn't know what a croquembouche was. :/

June 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

My 2 year old agrees with Monica G. He saw rocks.

I imagine it as a pure chocolate and truffle 'cake' and it looks delicious!

June 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHeather

Wow. Something looks...fishy.

(seriously, the fish tank is listing dangerously, and the goldfish/koi cake creeps me out)

Peeps!cake--Oh good grief.

Croquembouche!cake reminds me of someone unwrapping a bunch of white Rocher and sticking them onto a cake. Which isn't a bad idea taste wise but it looks kind of odd. Same with the pottery cake, though it looks so wonderfully chocolatey.

Creativity is one thing. These are...entirely something else. 0_o

June 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMelissa (& Billy)

You had me at: "albino booby tower". Diet Coke up the nose.

June 5, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterlifeshighway

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