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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Thursday
Jul162009

Hello, Kitty?

Hello Kitty is the epitome of all things cute, to an almost nauseating degree:

However, put her in the hands of these bakers and she becomes a puff-faced gerbil with a glandular problem:


This next one is deceptively nice, other than the RSS-icon hair bow...

...but then you realize that massive domed face is ALL icing, slathered onto a...a....[swallowing] CUPCAKE CAKE!! [blood-curdling scream]

I think this next baker tried to make a Hello Kitty vampire, but since HK has no mouth it turned out a little...odd.

Transplanted walrus tusks, or dangling fingers? I suppose either works on the cracked black background. Oh, and maybe this is just me, but I find that a vampire who waves totally loses all "cool" credibility. Seriously. Can you picture Dracula waving? Of course not. It's just not dignified.

Now, if you want a creepy Hello Kitty done right, you do what Bonefinder did:

Zombie Hello Kitty - excellent!

And lastly, Julie M. found out the hard way that her local bakery either has no idea who Hello Kitty is, or believes she is Porky Pig's sister:

Yes, that's really supposed to be Hello Kitty. Wow.

Hey Ayana W., Holly U., Kelly H., and Matthew Z., what do you get when you combine Hello Kitty & Darth Vader?

Answer: Something that horrifies every Star Wars fan in existence:


Everyone can relax; it's Photoshopped. For legitimate HK insanity, though, check out Hello Kitty Hell. It's funny stuff, although I'd be lying if I said I didn't think a lot of the stuff on there is adorable. (Look at these water bottles and tell me they're not just the cutest - go on.)

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Reader Comments (120)

I love Hello Kitty, and I keep HK Hell bookmarked. :D

I want that zombie cake. Om nom nom!

WV: diflught. Much to my diflught, this is a hilarious post!

July 16, 2009 | Unregistered Commentershadow

I actually backed up from my computer when I scrolled down to the first one. Wow-za.

Blessings,
Carolynn

July 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterWillow Tree

I have also seen Darth Kitty (Hello Vadar?) at Comic-Con. That's the real deal.

July 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterUhLisa

Not sure about those water bottles, Jen. On the other hand, I sort of dig the Vader costume. (Interestingly, I think it would be awesome in cake form.)

July 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

As a high school student I am surrounded by girls who are still obsessed with Hello Kitty! I have never seen anything in Hello Kitty, but now it is totaly rediculous! These 17 year olds need to get a life!

Also, how hard can it be to make a hello kitty cake?! Use a circle pan, and unless you are very much lacking in the skills department, you really can't screw up!

July 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDutch Girl

Zombie Kitty, Rocks!!

Water bottles, Rock!!!

The rest of them, what the heck happened?! Awful!

July 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterStephanie

Couldn't they have photoshopped a bow on the corner of the helmet?

July 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterVal

yes hello kitty, epitome of nauseating!

July 16, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterthecatskillkiwi

I love pig kitty!
-Kasey

July 16, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterthriftylittleblog

I'm lovin the HK darth vader! good stuff, good stuff.

July 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJenny

I know there are several horse people that read here...well, not that you need to be a horse person, but scarey/funny experience for me the other night. Read it on my blog: www.freewebs.com/spottedtridingblog/ridingblogjul2009.htm

July 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSpotted_T_Apps

I am totally in LOVE with Zombie Hello Kitty. So my style, and not wrecky at all.

July 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAlix

Love the zombie Hello Kitty! Very nicely done, and funny.

July 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterFelixAndAva

I always knew Bonefinder was awesome.

Now I have proof.

July 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSigivald

Am I the only one that thinks the vampire fangs look like tampons?

July 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Gotta get me one of those Hello Kitty Tasers. They are truly the BOMB.

July 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLorraine

I think we should have a Sunday Sweets Hello Kitty edition. :)

July 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBrittany

I nearly wet myself over the gerbil. Hilarious! Though I must say, the zombie Kitty is pretty good for what it is!

Why would anyone want a dead HK? or a vampire one? just to make "dark" an absolutely cute cartoon? *head-desk*

July 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDeray

I've never been fond of hello kitty, this just gives me further ammunition.
Cheers

July 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMaddy

haha! I love Zombie Kitty!

July 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJen

I am *so* disappointed to realise that Hello Vader is a 'shop job.

Damn you!

July 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSili

I had a Hello Kitty cake done for my graduation. I think it turned out alright:

http://i32.tinypic.com/b6olyq.jpg

July 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMartha

omg poor hello kitty grew fangs. ouch.

July 16, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterpamelaperez

Too funny!

July 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDiane

OMG--you would think that Hello Kitty would be one of the easier things to put on a cake. Guess not! :)

July 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAsianmommy

I've got to say, zombie Hello Kitty was very well done. The CCCs on the other hand were extraordinarily frightening. I almost went into diabetic shock just looking at the icing dome on that second cake. I think my favorite from the Hello Kitty Hell website was the taser...

July 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterPeachkins

I am of the opinion that the "fanged" Hello Kitty is actually sporting insect-like mandibles. :D

July 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterPrite

I am TOTALLY digging that Hello Kitty zombie! YEAH!

The HK Darth Vader had me rolling...too bad it's not real! I know a fellow Star Wars geek (I say fellow, as I proudly identify myself as such) who would be mortified.

I digress.

As for those other cakes, well, I'd be lying if I said I didn't laugh at those too! Poor, poor Cake Wreckers.

WV: ciessec ~ the birthing procedure utilized for the previous entry's baby shower cakes

July 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMandy

Wow.
A pink Vader. Not sure how I feel about that one. . .

www.mysleepinghusband.blogspot.com

July 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterWide Awake Wife

As one who works in a bakery. I can't tell you how many people order those gosh-awful cupcake cakes and are SURPRISED that it doesn't look like a true Hello Kitty, Onesie, or Tiara.

Them: "It looks like a bunch of cupcakes covered with frosting!!!"

Me (thinking): "No!!! Really??? Very smart Capt. Obvious!"

I (and the rest of cake decorators) HATE CUPCAKE CAKES!!

July 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterThePastryProphet

If Hello Kitty and Kermit the Frog had a baby, it would look like Zombie Hello Kitty.

July 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterScritzy

i love Hello Kitty to death...but i do not love those cakes.

and Hello Kitty Hell...i understand my love for Hello Kitty...but that man suffers so.

July 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterChristina

Thank you for sending me into the neverending vortex of terror that is kittyhell.com

July 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJamie

OMG! They are awful! At least none of them are hello kitty wedding cakes.

July 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterStefanie

haha, oh my! the CCC makes me go into sugar shock... I thought it was fondant at first glance. Also, i was staring at the vader w/o reading the blurb tyring to wrack my brain... I know i didn't see him at a celebration, but so would have taken a pic if I had...

July 16, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterrobynwithay

Why? Why would you do that to me? And my niece was right here too. "Auntie, is that supposed to be hello kitty?!" It was like explaining, "no your Uncle wasn't trying to suffocate me in the bedroom", all over again. Very traumatic post.

July 17, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Aw Crap! I am literally snorting; I'm laughing so hard!!!

WV: panstt - Any full grown adult with a Hello Kitty fixation should be panstt!

July 17, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterPetrina

The CCC makes me crave a Hostess Sno Ball. o.O

Love the zombie Hello Kitty

July 17, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSharon

Vampire Hello Kitty: I totally saw a 'wise old man' mustache. Dripping blood. Which kind of makes me want an 'evil but wise old man' Hello Kitty cake... if t'were done properly.

July 17, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I think someone should go out and order 'hello kitty/Darth Vader' cakes, I seriously want to see that in cake. cheers

July 17, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterVeggieT

Besides not knowing what Hello Kitty even looks like, that wrecktator didn't even put a regular kitty's nose on right side up! LOL

July 17, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

What do you mean "almost"? Hello Kitty is utterly sickening. How come we never see her (it?) sideways.

The only thing worse than Hello Kitty, beyond that stupid Vampire love story thing..."Twilight"? Is Pikachu.

July 17, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Hello Kitty and vampire do not mix. No worky. Why didn't they use Chococat for that?

I have the sneaking suspicion that they did this cake for a goth girl, too. no, don't laugh, I'm serious. There's a... thing going on with goths and HK. I don't know. I'm just a crusty old bat. kids these days. get off my lawn.

lol

July 17, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMiranda

Did you see the Hello Kitty wedding cake on the Hello Kitty Hell website??? No? Well, here's a link - http://www.kittyhell.com/2008/01/12/hello-kitty-wedding-cake/

Imagine the poor schnook who married the HK bridezilla. I bet he has to sit on a HK toilet seat and eat HK cereal out of a HK bowl. I'll give it 1 year before he presents her with HK divorce papers.

July 17, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRudeGirl

That angry hello kitty came out incredible. These are good examples of variations in cake design. I thought the star wars was the most disturbing of the bunch though. ;-)

July 17, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJustin Tyme

Darth Kitty isn't photoshopped -- it's real. I've seen it in person at a convention.

July 17, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLoree

Hello Vader may not have been real at the time that photo was taken, but THIS one is: http://www.saratrice.com/gallery/main.php?g2_itemId=8848" rel="nofollow">http://www.saratrice.com/gallery/main.php?g2_itemId=8848 - I know because I took the photo. It was at Dragon*Con 2007.

July 17, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDement1a

While that particular Darth Vader Hello Kitty may be photoshopped, I have seen an actual Darth Vader Hello Kitty costume at Dragon*Con. It looked about like that photo.

I think I got a shot of it, too; don't remember.

July 17, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRose

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