My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Just Beachy

It's summer, the perfect time of year to head out to the seashore and soak up all the natural wonders the beach has to offer.

You know, like the native wildlife:

The clear blue skies,

The majestic palm trees,

The completely family-friendly blue-lined mushroom thingies,

And of course all the great sea life:

[gasping] "Darn you, Valdez. Darn you to heck."

Hey Sue S., Sharon, Alyska B., Sharon R., & Anony M., you know what's pastier than a Minnesotan in January? A Floridian in July. Yep. Now shut the door and hand me my sweater; you're letting all the cold air out.

- Related Wreckage: Marcus and the New Job

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Reader Comments (120)

Were they commemorating the Great Mackerel Massacre with that last one?

Ok...the others are tolerable but that fish...EWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!

Who would want to eat that gross poop colored fish?

July 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDevNAbbyMom

The fish is just awful, how it's leaking fish slime all over the rest of the cake.

And I think that the blue lined mushroom thingy is actually supposed to be a pail. Concept =/= executed well.

Word verification: shipmun
"These were some great beach cakes, but I din't see no ship,mun."

July 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLisa

*blink* *blink*

Sound of jaw hitting the floor.

I *so* was not expecting that last one!!!

July 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDebbi

I can't believe someone really made an oil spill cake. blech.

but on the otherhand I really don't see anything wrong with that flamingo cake - maybe I need to fine tune my wreckporter skills.

July 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterEmily

That last cake is just stomach-turning!

Darn you Jen and John, how dare you put up this posting today. Don't you know there was a tragedy just off the coast of...oh never mind!

July 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJudy

That mushroom's a bucket! For making sandcastles...?

July 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I have NO clue what that blue-lined mushroom thingie is supposed to be. I can see waste bin, beach umbrella, barbecue, beach chair,a poor job at a jellyfish, a solar powered lamp (yes they do exist), a basket (both for flowers and also the basketball type), an upside-down party hat and a buoy. Oh and what Jen said - the mushroom.

... lets just stick with 'thingie'. It's easier. (I'm also mildly impressed at the number of things it COULD be. That has to be a difficult skill to master for wrecky decorators.)

July 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterEvalis

Took me a minute to figure out the last one. Thought it was a mutant toaster until I found the eyes.

July 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAuntie Meme

If the mushroom's a bucket, what's the orange thing?

July 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHalf Assed Kitchen

I have a sunburn from my summer vacation; therefore, I am offended by the depiction of happy summertime activities. Please pull this post at once.

/tongue in cheek :o)

Srsly, love the blog and love this post, but that leaky fish cake is just about to make me lose my breakfast. *Urp!*


WV: foria. A sheep relaxing on the beach with a margarita is experiencing ewe-foria.

July 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTigerwolf

Oh yeah, THAT's appetizing... Oily dead fish cake! Give ME a piece of THAT!!


July 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMinerva

The fish? The fish? What were they thinking? It truly is hideous. It took me a second to even figure out what it was! Is it entitled "Death After Spawning"? "Encounter With Electric Dam?" "Forgotten in Cooler"? "Yogi and Boo-Boo's Lost Lunch"?

I need more coffee.

July 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSandy

Wow. The fish is so great. I can't believe it is made from cake!!

And everyone, I bet, I just bet, that Jen *KNEW* it was supposed to be a bucket. Imagine!! She is trying to make commentary on the wreckiness.

Why, oh why, does everyone try to correct you all the time. So maddening.......

July 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRebecca F.

Is the water horizontal or is the flamingo horizontal?

July 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterChris, Gina and Hunter

Did the "clear blue skies" decorator make it past first grade art? What kind of perspective did s/he use? (Did s/he use any at all?)

July 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterFanboy Wife

I must admit my favorite is the flamingo slinking across the snow on its way into the wild blue crumpled Kleenex. I wonder what music is playing as he slouches along. Is he the last of his band? Maybe it's just time to check my meds after looking at the rest of today's offerings.

WV ducti, as in "Everything is just ducti--and the flamingo looks fine, too.

July 29, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterdrgns4vr

Oh dear god what is that thing?

July 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHanna

Well That ain't Fudgey the Whale!

July 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBridget Kean

That fish is gross.

I'm disturbed by the perspective on most of these...Why do some of them have the water at a 90 degree angle to the beach? This makes no sense!

July 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJulie

I love how the flamingo is holding off the tsunami with its head. Brave flamingo, save the village!

wv:oweli "How do you guys manage to stay out of trouble when caught?"

July 29, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterfrigglesnitz

okay I had to read the comments to find out what that was ... I thought a giant "did his bussiness on the beach( carry a baggy!!!!

July 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I honestly didn't think today's were so terrible, until the last one! Blech! Why would you want to eat a slimy, poop-colored fish?

July 29, 2009 | Unregistered Commenternotmicrowavesafe

Maybe the fish cake has special powers. If you can endure eating it you'll be granted the power to....the power to....sweat oil?

July 29, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterbodoba

Out of curiosity, what flavor of cake is "yellow"?

July 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCostumeholic

Hey! I'm Minnesotan and I take offense to that comment! I'm pasty year-round, not just in January! ;)

July 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Ha! sometimes the coments just make it all even funnier! I love it when decorators try to combine the concept of 2-D and 3-D in the same cake. It is fantastic! lol

July 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterNettie

That mushroom thing is totally an igloo.

Anyway. That fish was so gross and realistic that I almost felt bad making fun of it, because if it were sentient it would be so utterly humiliated to be covered in oil and stuck on that pastel cake.

July 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBrendan

Is it just my sick sense of humor or is has that flamingo been shot, hence the big red flower of blood on it's body? I have been playing GTA again, so it could be me.

But I was totally not expecting the last cake...why would you commemorate an oil spill with cake. Wait I forgot where I was, nevermind.

July 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterYota Armai

That flamingo looks like a pink version of Homestar Runner's Yellow Dello...

July 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDa Mouse

This might be a little picky (but who cares?) but in the "family-friendly" cake, there actually aren't enough bumps for two cursive m's, so it says - take your pick - either sunmertime or sumnertime. Lovely!

I actually thought the blue thingie was a really awkward surfboard.

wv: spannov - I am always impressed by the spannov the wreckerators' capacity for failure.

July 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDiana

the last carp cake..............looks so so delicious!Not!

July 29, 2009 | Unregistered Commentersummur braley

WOW. I am headed to the beach tomorrow, I feel inspired to get a cake while we are there.

July 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAlison

Forget about the mushroom/ bout the snow on the ground?? And the snow dusted palm tree...nothing says summer like a few inches of snow!

July 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCassi

I wasn't sick until the last one. And did you catch the sunmertime?
Help us adopt!!!

July 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSavannah

Is that last *creation* supposed to be a fish? A leaking, oozing, pooh-colored fish? *shudder*

July 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCecily

I'd probably faint if I saw that honkin fish on the cake in person...

July 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBelle Epoque

These cakes do NOT inspire a pasty Floridian to go to the beach in July. I think I'll stay inside today.

July 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMel

That's not a blue-lined mushroom. I think it's supposed to be Epcot.

(Someone had to say it.)

July 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTSFN

The mushroom thingie is a beach bucket, and I think the round orange thing is a beach ball? I think.

July 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda in Austin

I had to laugh about the "Floridian in July". Too True. I'm in Ft. Lauderdale and I tell everyone that you can always tell a tourist by their tan!

July 29, 2009 | Unregistered Commentercla517

the blue-less sky aside, those fishies in the second cake appear to be floaters. appetizing!

and why is the umbrella stuck in poo-like gooiness?! chocolate sand?

i'm disturbed by the angle of the poor flamingo's neck, too. looks painful.

the last cake defies comment.

great post, cake wreckers!

terry lee

July 29, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterterry lee

I wanted the blue mushroom thingy to be a cabana just so I could type cabana in the comments, but the more I look at it the more I see the bucket possibility. Nah, still looks more like a mushroom.

As someone whose job revolves around noticing little details (although the ones I see are supposed to pull it all together), I love that you saw the major wreck potential in the seemingly minor oversights and/or mistakes in the first few.
As for the fish, well, I have nothing to say there. That was major wreckage, no matter how you slice it.

July 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

that fish is so,um, ahem.

July 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLucia

I love the mushroom one that has Chocolate Chips in both the sand AND the sky! :)

And the fish. Just gross. I think worse than Lenin. I can eat and arm, but a slimy fish... not so much.

July 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBryna

If I squint, I can believe that the mushroom thingy is a bucket, but what's with the *crazy* tentacle tree and why is the sun just sitting there on the ground? So confusing....

July 29, 2009 | Unregistered Commentersambrael

Wow, wow, wow.

I really don't know what to say to the last cake... I love that the cake "artist/decorator" moved the fish around several times [as can be seen with the brown slime]... that is professionalism

July 29, 2009 | Unregistered Commentermz. dee

nothing else says "delicious!" like a slimy, brown fish cake! oh and the look of terror on it's face. give me another plate of that goodness!

July 29, 2009 | Unregistered Commenteriris

What IS that thing? Is that cake for the wrap party of "Deadliest Catch?"

July 29, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterannied

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