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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Monday
Aug102009

I Wanna Be a Wreck Star

Are you still preoccupied with 1985? (With Bruce Springsteen, Madonna, way before Nirvana...)

If so, then I'm sure you understand wanting an 80s pop star on your cake. Uh. Right?

For instance, how about the artist formerly - and now back to currently - known as Prince?

Yeah, he'd totally rock on a cake. Maybe for a birthday, bridal shower, or any nondescript "sexy" occasion, really.

[PHOTO REMOVED - Sorry, guys, turns out the cake wasn't a pro job. You'll just have to let your imagination run free in place of the actual Wreck.]

Great glaring gobs of guy-liner! I'm pretty sure those lips would make doves cry.
(Say, what kind of cake is this again? Oh, that's right: it's filled with [singing] "RAS-pberry puree...")

Hey, what's Demi Moore doing here?

Oh, sorry, Demi; that's Boy George. Well, I'm sure he'd be great on a cake, too.


Of course, I have been wrong before.

How about a photo cake? Do you have "Faith" that would look better?


Wham I'm not sure that "wham" is appropriate in front of every wham sentence. Wham what do you think? Wham am I right?

And finally, I have to end with what is most certainly NOT a Wreck, so don't even bother trying to find fault with it:

Yep, THAT, my friends, is a David-Bowie-from-Labyrinth cake, aka quite possibly the Coolest Birthday Cake Ever. This thing is up there with the Darth Vader Baby Shower cake in my book. (Well, not the actual book. The figurative one.) Not only does it feature the Goblin King himself, it ALSO says - and with correct quotation marks, even - "You Remind Me of the Babe."

What babe, you ask? Why, the babe with the power.

This cake has renewed my faith in both the airbrush and future generations, so kudos to Maddy's parents for giving her a proper education in all things awesome.

Jenny M., Brian K., Anony M., & Lonny S, you have no power over me.


Related Wreckage: Guess Who!

UPDATE: So apparently, every one of you has seen Purple Rain and can tell that the first cake is actually supposed to be Epco...urm, Morris Day. And it turns out you are correct. Go figure. I'll leave it to Jen to decide how to adjust the post but in the meantime Sexy Morris up there is still giving me the stink eye so I'm still calling wreck. And yes, *sigh* we know George Michael was part of Wham! -john

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Reader Comments (224)

wishinonehand said...
"What, you think every teenage girl in my high school was crushing on David Bowie because he could sing??? Please. :)"
*****
*A-HEM*
I beg your PARDON?? Bowie's sound was everything! 1969 was the year to end all years. Woodstock. Space Oddity. I could go on (don't fret- I won't).
If you weren't a teen in the 60's or 70's, you missed EVERYthing!
That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
Now, as for Cake "David"... I think it/he looks more like Meg Ryan, or maybe Cyndi Lauper, than Bowie... but whatever.
Boy George as cake (Mike, is that YOU?) looks like an Amish schoolboy with latent Rastafarian tendencies.
The "Wham" cake is only half of Wham! so I guess that's a Bargain Bin cake. Notice that a big chunk of icing is stuck to the side of the box? Bummer, huh?

August 10, 2009 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

I'm a sad panda... I wanna see the picture of Epcot!

August 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

You remind me of the babe.
What babe?
The babe with the power.
What power?
The power of voodoo.
Who do?
You do.
Do what?
Remind me of the babe.

Ah.... love that movie. Still quote that all the time!

August 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterChris

You remind me of the babe
(What babe?)
Babe with the power
(What power?)
Power of Voodoo
(Who do?)
You do
(Do what?)
Remind me of the babe

I SOOOOO want to watch that movie again now, lol

August 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRachele

Are you sure that is meant to be Boy George? I think it looks like a fantastic wealthy Bolivian llama farmer.

August 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterNickerNotes

Goblin king! :D There isn't an emote with a smile big enough to express my glee.

*Dance magic dance magic dance...*

August 10, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterksaldria

I had to work late today and now I've missed my chance to see the Prince/Morris cake. Waaaah. Amateur decorator, won't you please give permission to put your cake back up.

August 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBrooke

I was (still am) madly in love with George Michael back in the Faith days (I was in 3rd grade). I used to kiss my life-size, full-length George Michael poster. I had every Wham! tape. My mom made me a cheesecake for my 10th birthday with pictures of George Michael glued to toothpicks. It rocked. I would have loved a George Michael cake like the one shown here, whether it be on my actual birthday or my birthday eve.

August 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRachel

ahhhhh 'ello!

Labrynth fans every where! Fabulous!

August 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterEstir_BunE

David Bowie! Insane 80's makeup! Labyrinth references!

Please excuse me, I have to listen to Magic Dance.

"You remind me of the Babe."
"What Babe?"
"The Babe with the power."
"What power?"
"The power of voodoo."
"Who do?"
"You do."
"Do what?"
"Remind me of the Babe." : )

August 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBethStev

David Bowie!! David Bowie!! Guess what I want on my birthday cake this year now?!

August 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBree

Aw I just KNEW you'd love labyrinth! YAY!

August 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterChrissy

I'm going to send a link of this post to my aunt, my cousin will be 3 in November and I'm sure she would love a Labyrinth cake. Or at least the rest of the family would...

Thanks, Jen, you started off my day with a sparkle of happiness. And now I need to check iTunes for songs from the Labyrinth soundtrack.

August 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterThe Minears

@ILoveBabyQuilts--Ha!! I love it. I remember Marcel Proust and the madeline...a colleague had a book called "Proust was a Neuroscientist" or something to that effect and there was a madeline on the cover. I asked him to let me know why when he finished reading the book. Too funny!

PS: If there is a Labyrinth 2 my BFF will melt into a puddle of fangirlish goo.

August 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMelissa (& Billy)

Take down the mention is we can't see the cake.

August 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

NickerNotes said...
Are you sure that is meant to be Boy George? I think it looks like a fantastic wealthy Bolivian llama farmer.

***
Gosh..I don't know what a Bolivian llama is, but I Googled your everday "llama" and it seems that they go for somewhere between $2,000 and $3,500 apiece in general...
Not bad, but not really enough to consider farming them a "goldmine" job, either...
Personally I'd go for the Alpaca--they're in the same family, but go for a LOT more, for some reason (about the price of a luxury car for the females).
And I guess Bolivians can do it as well as anyone...
=^--^=

August 10, 2009 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

Honestly I think WHAM as a word is making a comeback. And yes labyrinth rocks.

August 10, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterbodoba

Frankie says Relax!

August 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJudy

Mr Michael looks like a werewolf in that cake..

August 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJay

Way to go with the reference to Bowling for Soup! :)

August 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJenn

I don't care if it was Prince or not - your "raspberry puree" quote was pure-e genious!

August 10, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterendlessquestions

You are so stinkin' COOL for liking Labyrinth.

My brain is now full of that song. "The power of voodoo who do you do remind me of the babe...."

August 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKeeley

I love David Bowie!!! I want that cake for my birthday. *going to watch Labyrinth*

August 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKayla

I love the Labyrinth Cake

Ok I went searching and found this Labyrinth cake:

http://coloradosprings.yourhub.com/Powers/Stories/Family-Friends/Photos/Image.axd?imageid=316359&copytype=2

August 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterPhoebe

By the time I got here today -- sorry been putting out IT fires since 5:00 am PDT -- the Prince cake was gone. But, I will assume it was a life-size 9X13 sheet?

August 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterNat

Dude I am all over the George Micheal cake.We share the same birthday...........freaky that i know that; but when I was 13 and I discovered this fact I told everyone. And now I am strangley telling you..........:)lol

August 11, 2009 | Unregistered Commentersummur braley

Hi! *waves* Long time lurker, first time commenter. Your website is on my 'daily check-list'!
I just had to stop by and say two things.
1) *bows to the awesomeness of the Labyrinth cake*
2) I'm really hoping that this post means that your e-mail will soon be flooded with more of them!
Must scamper off now and throw on my Labyrinth DVD... or my original-issue VHS... or perhaps the soundtrack on CD... or maybe the record...

August 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterShadarus

The Boy George cake is actually not all that bad. Aside from the fact that it is Boy George, of course. And the yellow sprinkles. I'm voting 'not a wreck' on that one.

August 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLadyIslay

Totally not fair removing the picture of the Prince/Morris Day cake, but leaving in the description and all the comments.
SHOW ME THE CAKE!!!!

August 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAltissima

Darn it, now I'm going to have to pull out my Bowling For Soup because that song is going to be stuck in my head all day!

August 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMars

Jareth on a cake is a great idea but I'm not sure about this example from that angle.

August 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLady Meerkat

To all the haters of the Bowie cake:

It may not be a piece of cake magic, but its BOWIE! And that is good enough for me.

And even catching up again today, every time someone posted the Dance Magic lyrics I sang right through them. Never gets old!

Becky

August 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Umm.. Wham! was George Micheals' first band. But you knew that..right? Right? Please say you knew that!

Man, I'm sorry I missed the Prince cake. Was it purple?

August 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDiana

For those who missed the "Prince" cake, as Anonymous said, it can be found here: http://s93.photobucket.com/albums/l62/lacyegirl/Cake/

August 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJacqui

What babe? The babe with the power. What power? The power of the voodoo. Who do? You do. Do what?

LOVE LOVE LOVE Labyrinth!!! Jennifer Connelly before A Beautiful Mind....bliss.

August 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDea

ZOMG! Return to the Labyrinth vol. 3 just came out and I'm on a total Labyrinth fangirl binge right now (if you thought Jareth was yummy in the movie, wait 'til you see him in bishounen form!).
That Jareth cake is le awesome! SQUEE!

August 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I love the Labyrinth!! My husband got me the movie for Christmas!! That is a great cake, I would be happy to get it for my birthday.

August 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJaemi

Oh, the Bowie cake is ADORABLE!

I'd love one for my upcoming (eeek, 41st!!) birthday! :-D

August 11, 2009 | Unregistered Commentertotalblammblamm

The Prince one looked more like Morris Day.

August 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTwilightTwins2

the power of the voodoo!!!!!!!
one of my fave movies *ever*...i so wish this was my cake!!

August 11, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterluna

The labyrinth cake is creepy to me because the goblin king was after the girl thru the whole movie...and the cake is for a 5 year old...very unsavory/distasteful and Boy George and George Michael...??? Same goes although the BG cake is well done !

How about a book signing in Northeast Florida ???

August 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLynn

I NEED THAT DAVID BOWIE CAKE!!! I totally have Jareth The Goblin King on a T-Shirt... and it's my favorite. Now I have "Dance Magic, Dance" stuck in my head.

August 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRecoveringActor

BTW,
As a parent of 5 kids in the "Labyrinth Generation" I kind of regret letting them watch that movie so many times...who do, you do, Voo Doo, the power of the babe ? Oh, crap ! What HAVE I done ????

And a sequel ? All five will be buying tickets as soon as it hits ( and taking THEIR kids to see it too)

August 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLynn

What power?!
Who do?
Do what?

August 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSecret Agent Crazy-Person

You may already know but if you like Bowling for Soup check out Butch Walker - he produced one of their albums and has some fantastic and entertaining lyrics.

August 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTamsin

Will I be banned from this blog if I admit that I have never even heard of Labyrinth?

August 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBecky

The Boy George cake isn't that bad, although I keep seeing Emma Thompson dressed AS Boy George.

And while I was never a big fan of Labyrinth (I was into the Muppet and John Hughes movies myself), it's nice to see something a little different on a kid's cake than the princesses and cars and Spidermen and frogs that look like aliens.

August 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBree

"The power of voodoo. Who do? You do?"
The Labyrinth cake just made me want to go buy that movie again, so I can show it to my kids. Love it!

August 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterEclectic E

Oh how I love thee, David Bowie. You will always make women swoon in Labyrinth as you dance around in those spandex pants, mmm mmmmm.

August 11, 2009 | Unregistered Commentermandacantu

The David Bowie Labyrinth cake is pretty awesome.

August 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLori

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