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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Wednesday
Aug122009

It Came From the Baby Shower...

In my inadvertently controversial baby post a while back, I told bakers that there's really nothing creepier than uber-realistic baby cakes.

Turns out, I may have to amend that a little.


Realistic? No. Creepy as all get-out? Ohhh yes. Little sweet pea here has a face only a stocking-clad bank robber could love - and may, in fact, be related to the giraffe family.

Disaster can also strike when a baker takes a cutesy saying just a little too literally:

Unless this family really is only growing by two baby appendages. Huh. I suppose they could keep them in a jar...

And finally, this one proves that a cake doesn't have to have an edible baby on it to give people the willies:

Yep, when you see something like this you reeeally have to stop and think: Why oh why didn't they stop with the bassinet? It looks like Ashlyn is encased in icing Han Solo style.

Thanks Michelle B. & Julie Anne D.; these babies are reeeally something.


- Related Wreckage: First Impressions

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Reader Comments (107)

/read comments

Hmmm...would y'all still say that if you met this cake in real life instead of on a blog where you expect a wreck?

August 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSharon

That first one is Jack Skelingtons baby!

August 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLindberg

Doesn't every parent have a photo of their kid in the bathtub, everything but their face covered in bubbles? Looks like that might be sweet little Ashlyn's problem, although I'm not sure babies in bathtubs is really something to celebrate.

August 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterNatalie

The face on the final cake is like the ones on those crocheted toilet paper cover dolls my Grandma used to make. *shudder*
http://www.craftamerica.com/dimple_doll_face.htm
WV: frutbles I like my buffet to have frutbles, like strawberries, cherries and melon.

August 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterThe Angry Jackalope

Oh, that last comment about Han Solo made me laugh out loud!

But I have to say, in defense of the first cake, at least I could eat that. Unlike the ultra realistic ones you showed last time.

Michelle

wv: rumpyho - I'm not even going to go there...

August 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I am so disturbed by the "realistic" baby cakes that I am left speechless.

August 12, 2009 | Unregistered Commentersweetest.escape

You are soooo funny! I laughed out loud when I read "a face only a pantyhose clad bank robber could love." Hilarious!

August 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJoanna

That's too bad, the baby cradle thing on its own would have been really cute and pretty.

August 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterStacy

The middle cake looks like an evil demon is devouring the baby, leaving only the feet. The flower horns are the eyes and the slit is the mouth.
Creepy, Creepy, Creepy!

August 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterErinbob

LOL! Yup, totally creepy even when NOT realistic. Love the Star Wars reference, as well...

August 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDea

"a face only a stocking-clad bank robber could love" HAHAHAHAHAHAAA!!!

August 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRosie_Kate

That 'two feet' cake looks like it has two angry eyes and a mouth devouring a baby's feet

August 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterErika

It really does look like the same countertop for all three cakes, although the first one looks like someone's house.
Those last two definitely look like they must have been taken by the decorators themselves, with all the equipment and icing in the background, so maybe those photos will be going into their portfolios!

August 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBin

Those feet look like raw chicken wings.

August 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLars

Where are those baby feet coming from? They seem to be floating in a pool of water? Severed baby feet floating in a pool! Oh the humanity!

Of course the grosser option is the baby is "arriving" from a pool of blue goo? ewwww!

August 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterClair Warnicke

What erinbob said. It looks like a demon that ate the baby, leaving the feet. Closer still, it looks like somebody tried to baby up the face of Oogie Boogie from "Nightmare Before Christmas"

Either that, or they just baked the baby IN the cake. Either way, incredibly disturbing. All of them are.

August 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterPhoenyx

Am I weird because I think that two of the three cakes are kinda cute? Don't answer that.

August 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJocelyn

The third cake's baby face looks like the horrible masks used in Brazil.

August 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRebekah

Are the last two pix on the same table??

WV Encetie: Screams outside at her kid "Time to come encetie!!"

August 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTurtlemomma

Yep...really creepy...all of them! http://blog.sweetservices.com/sweetscandyblog/

August 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterPam Walter

OMG! That second foot one....
it looks like the cake is eating a baby! Look, those footprints look like angry eyes! Ahhhhh!!!!

August 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKrickette

Ok, so I actually did a legitimate LOL regarding the Han Solo comment.

Well-played. Well-played.

August 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterNik

Ergh. #1 and #3 are disturbing enough. #2... well, unlike many people, I do not think baby feet are cute. The ones on this cake go beyond that and are downright revolting. Who thought this was going to be appetizing?

August 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAlex

That first cake is SCARY!!

August 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCountry Cookin' Mama

I also love seeing the random stuff on the counters around the cakes. For instance, what's that giant thumbtack-like thing in the last photo? What's that for? And the countertops in the all three photos are remarkably similar...

August 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMelanie

Cakes...babies...frosting globs...
yeah, yeah, yeah...BOR-ING!
Yes, they are slightly left of attractive. One might even say: "I Can't Believe It's Not Better!" -for a professional job.
But there are way more fun things going on here. Questions starving for answers!
F'rinstance:
1. Why is Sweet little Pea's cardboard bed hanging partially off the edge of the counter? Pretty reckless, isn't it? Why, the cake could fall off accidentally. Some might even hint at "intentionally"...
2. I don't get why we always cover our under-the-cake cardboard slabs with foil. It's not that much more attractive, and neither is edible.
3. What's really piqued my curiosity is the last one (and here we go again with the edge-crowding).
Was the bassinet awning (in a previous life) a lampshade? Seems like it. Hey- cut it, slog frosting on it, and there's your...well...lampshade with frosting on it. Give it to the kiddies & let 'em lick it off.
And WHY didn't they use that pretty green frosting? It's right there on the counter! See it?
One last thing: What is that thing that looks like a giant thumbtack, sitting there by the cake?

August 12, 2009 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

Wait! Wait! The first one is a baby from Alien Nation! Remember that great police procedural from the late 80's? And they had a baby too - that's how I recognized, um, 'her.'

August 12, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterpambamboo

Laura Dotson-Thomson said...
"Am I weird for - on the last cake - seeing one of those old Holland nuns with the big white hat-thing?"
***
I don't see that here, myself, but I remember being about 3 or 4 years old and afraid of that thing, too. It was the Old Dutch Cleanser woman. What made it super-creepy to me was that she had no FACE, and she was lurching along holding up a big stick.
*shiver*

August 12, 2009 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

To answer the question of the "thumb tack" in the last pic....that is called a flower nail. Decorators use it to create frosting roses on a rotatable surface and then transfer the flower to a cake. Some bakers use it as a heating core in the center of very large pans to ensure even heating during the baking process. It's not out of place at all.

August 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCake Believe

I see it in the first one, its "swee' pea" from popeye. Wrecktastic, nonetheless. the other two, well, i cannot give redemption.

August 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHuianaSukari

Craig! Your Jabba the Hutt comment was priceless!

I totally want a baby-in-carbonite cake someday.

August 12, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterevil cake lady

So sad, the third cake had a lot of potential.

August 13, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterfuzzandfuzzlet

Cake Believe said...
"To answer the question of the "thumb tack" in the last pic....that is called a flower nail. It's not out of place at all."
********
Thanks for clarifying!
That's a nice little gadget to have around. Would these be available in both clockwise spin and counterclockwise spin versions (for both righties and lefties)?
>^~-^<
Idea: When not being twirled in the name of flower creation, I'd bet these things could pinch hit as a deterrent to anyone's sitting on the countertops.

August 13, 2009 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

they sure are freaky looking cakes...ewwwww

August 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterNettie

Rebekah, my thoughts exactly regarding the second cake's resemblance to the horrible Brazil baby masks!

August 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAaron T.

Those cakes are ALMOST as creepy as baby showers themselves.

August 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLauren Golightly

Aw! Love the first one! ;D And the third cake is co cute! Like the color, purple and pink. ;D

Solo
http://www.solofoodtrip.com/" rel="nofollow">Travel and Living
http://jobhuntpinoy.com/" rel="nofollow">Job Hunt Pinoy

August 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSolo

The second cake, the one with the feet, looks a hell of a lot like there is a pastel monster devouring a baby. The weird rose tear drop type things (what were those even intended to be?) are the sinister glaring eyes.

August 13, 2009 | Unregistered Commentergeenei

Here's what I like best about the last cake - notice how the mixing bowl and icing is in the background? What the heck was the green icing for? Were those shades of pink and purple just not wrecky enough?

August 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDiane E.

First I have to say that I love the theme of your blog - very creative and entertaining.

And yes, I agree with you about the cakes in this post. They are a bit much. They don't look appetizing at all.

August 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSonya

looks more like the Annie Liebowitz VF photo shoot of Whoopie Gldberg in the milk bath, LOL!!

August 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

On the baby-drowning-in-icing-cake--

Did the _decorator_ or someone else at the bakery send that in? Since clearly all the decorating supplies and frosting are also on the table. Maybe that's a can of beer, and that explains it?

August 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCatherine

Once again the comments make a stupid cake into a hilarious one: "encased in icing Han Solo style" ... I am dying at this!

August 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMira8

The first one reminds me of a video installation piece at the Milwaukee Art Museum:
http://www.mam.org/collection/details.php?ID=M1998.136
That piece freaks me out as much as that cake!

August 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

when i have a baby i'm so making a cake like that. cause then no one will want to eat it and my pregnant self will get a whole cake... mmm...

August 13, 2009 | Unregistered Commentereatingmachine

Good lord, that first cake looks like a piece of Tony Oursler video art; which is something I'd NEVER want to see on a baby shower cake.

August 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJessica Wolfe

Heh, it appears that "Anonymous" above me had the same idea.

August 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJessica Wolfe

All three of these cakes would have been so nice if no body parts were on them. You should never put severed feet and headless babies on cakes ever, unless those kids are going to be born on Halloween.

August 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBree

My husband thinks the baby under the blanket looks like Voldemort....

August 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Oh, NO ! Who employs these people and what the heck were they thinking when they created such horrid cakes ?

I got a good chuckle out of the Han Solo style comment because I was thinking the same thing ! LOL

August 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLynn

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