My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

The Joker's Revenge

Thank goodness for those big photo books at the bakery counter. You know, the ones with all the cake designs in them? Yeah. Without those, how would we ever know what toys come with the cake?

What's that? You thought the books showed the cake designs, too? Ah. Please excuse me for a moment, while I turn my head and laugh heartily at your oh-so-sweet naivete.


I do so love shattering expectations.

Here's what Naomi J. ordered:


Aaand what she received:

Great slithering slabs of slime-secreting slugs, Sally!
(Sorry Naomi; I needed an S name.)

Note how all that airbrush dye pools together and glistens wetly in the light. Mmm. And the way that blackened, moldy green offsets the fluorescent green border. Yeah, that's tasty. And, of course, there's the eclair-filling slug bombs; can't forget those.

However, you should also note - and in the decorator's defense - that the batman toys look exactly the same. Hooray, photo book!

- Related Wreckage: Why So Serious?

« There, I Fixed It | Main | It Came From the Baby Shower... »

Reader Comments (160)

Holy hack job, batman! This is beyond 'wreck'. And the slugs... I haven't seen something so revolting since those slug things in the swamp in the latest remake of "King Kong". *shudders*

Heh, my "word verification" was bakedu... fitting, this was definitely baked doo

August 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterPhoenyx

So MonkeeMama, what was the decorator's excuse for it looking like that? I'm glad they didn't charge you full price for it!

August 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

BWAHAHAHH... Now I am no Batman fan, but is the Batmobile really able to "climb" buildings? How can he not even bable to place the car on the road?

August 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterR.

What really horrifies me is that the slug blobs appear to be a "fix". See the yellow beneath? Like... they airbrushed the lines? And then decided, "Oh, no, that won't do. Let me fix this. Ah! There we go. Perfect."


August 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKimberly

I can't imagine putting any of that yucky, paint-slick glop in my mouth.

What is up with people who can't even make a decent shell border??? I could do that when I was ten years old! Squeeze, pull, release the icing. I mean...seriously!

lol "why so srs"

August 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMiranda

I may never be able to eat an eclair or other cream-filled delight again. Those "dashes" look off.

August 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMamaX5

Eekk. How awful. Again, I wouldn't pay for that.

August 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterG.H.

Erm, it occurs to me, I could toke at midnight, consume questionable mushrooms, and take a handful of random pills, and *still* do better than that.

...hey, if I can do a perfect manicure under such "midnight" conditions, I can do a passable cake too...not necessarily picture perfect, but certainly not a vile horror!

August 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMiranda

wow...I have no words..I hope they didn't have to pay for it. Looking at it is bad enough. maybe we can at least hope it was tasty.

August 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterErin

Holy cow, Robin! I was jarred almost right out of my chair as I scrolled down to see what Naomi had to lug home and then somehow explain to poor little 4 year old Jackson. Looks like an infestation of giant slugs has taken over the road there. And what? No Bat signal?! Shameful. Just shameful.

August 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDorci

I wish I had took a pic of my son's 2nd bday. it didnt come home with me. It was a doggie sheet cake with red and blue. But the one I got was a plain white cake with a outline dog bone in the middle with jerry in it and my sons name is jeremiah. I almost cried. I was like I refue to pay for this and then they called the manager who said it was half price. I was not nice.


August 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLAURA

Check this one out! An In-N-Out combo meal cake! My favorite is the amazing fries with salt!

August 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAllie M

Just for the record: I just found out about this website when I was discussing it with my friend, who recommended that I send it in. Thanks Jen M! Now I am hooked to the blog and will probably never ever experience a postable wreck like this again! Luckily for the future of all of my kids birthdays!:)

August 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMonkeeMama

ROFL Oh my gosh! That's disgusting. I kept looking at the pic of the book cake and trying to figure out why the slugs were there. it was the wreckorators attempt at the lines on the road. lol And the Bakery manager let it go out the door!

August 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTeressa Thompson

sick and wrong... sick AND wrong.

August 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSherri

I look at so many of these entries and am appalled at the results. I don't know about you, but I wouldn't pay for that lame excuse of a cake. I mean, maybe I would just so that I could take it home and take a picture to submit to this blog, but I'd still complain to the manager.

August 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMinnieK

Glad that Jackson was happy.

August 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAndy Mathis

Have you ever looked at a picture and then tried to draw it again with your eyes closed? Yeh, it sort of looks like they were doing that.

August 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKirsty

I was debating whether or not to look at the end result...

*face palm*

I'm sorry I looked... that was just awful.

August 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKristen

BAHAHAhaha...this is one of the funniest ones yet.

August 13, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterashleyalvina

"Glisten" is the perfect word to describe that cake. It sounds /exactly/ like that cake looks: shiny and oily. Yuck!

August 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJackalgirl

I think they airbrushed OVER the letters.

August 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I bet you anything the decorator was off that day and a poor untrained co-worker had to make it last minute. D:

August 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

You are always clever with titles, but "The Joker`s Revenge" is exceptionally fitting.

August 13, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterfuzzandfuzzlet

I ordered that exact cake for my son's 6th birthday, fortunately it looked like the first picture. What on earth are those 'slugs'???

August 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Anonymous said...
"This gives me an idea for playing the game "telephone" with wrecks.
Take a picture of a wreck, go into a store and ask for that design. Receive worse wreck in return. Take a picture of it. Repeat until no longer recognizable."
Hey, look! They already used your idea!
They are REAL pros, though, to be able to get to "no longer recognizable" in only ONE step.

Now. This is how I REALLY feel:

It's for a kid!! A very YOUNG kid.
And it has little-kid-and-especially-boys-stuff all OVER it:
Batman. Batman TOYS!
Frosting. Very COLORFUL frosting!
And the best thing of all: it was Jackson's BIRTHDAY!
Excitement and fun and being young...!
((SIGH)) Call me a hopeless romantic, but I LIKE this thing.

August 13, 2009 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

ONE word..Hideous

'nuff said!

August 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLinda

Wow..that is something I would definitely not pay for.

"Missed mark" is truly an understatement.

August 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda

my first thought o those 'slugs' was "why did they put garlic cloves on a cake with batman?" i don't know which i'd prefer...ew.

August 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMandi

Urp. Of all the grotesque things that we've seen on cakes... those slugs, which I believe are supposed to represent road striping, might be the very worst. They look...[shuddering] like puss... infected puss. Excuse me, I must run away now I think I'm going to hurl... happy thoughts...happy thoughts!

August 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLisa Leggett

what is up with the 1-2 cake per post lately :( has been very dissapointing

August 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I don't think that's airbrushing under the banana slugs. I think that the lefthand slug actually slipped a bit (or crawled away) after it was "piped" on the cake, taking the airbrushed colour with it. Either way, it's a horrible cake. I can't imagine what an awkward situation that would be looking at this thing with your 4yr old excited about the toys.

August 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnnette

In a kinda backwards way...there is a certain skill involved in being able to make a highway line look like a slug. Maybe this is really symbols upon symbols in a cake.

Or maybe it's a wreckerpiece.

August 13, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterbodoba

Oh, for the love of Pete.

August 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMandy

That cake would be rejected and NOT paid for on the spot and I would have a few choice words for the bakery manager too !

A pre-made cake in the cooler would however be a good substitute ( with no writing on it at all ) I wouldn't take any chances...

August 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLynn

My son had that exact same cake years ago. Fortunately, our local cake decorators take a lot of pride in their cakes and his turned out really good. How disappointed they must have been. I have been so fortunate to have never bought a wreck so far. Tho my hubby (after drinking a few beers) did attempt to make my 30th bday cake and after eating it, my son informed me that the reason it had cake crumbs all over the icing was because his dad had dropped it in the floor and then tried to "glue it back" with icing. nice.

August 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

She didn't actually PAY for that, did she?

The yellow "lines" in the road look like blobs of pudding!

August 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Ahhh...I can SO picture little Jackson taking one index finger and going straight for those fat, yummy sluggies right off the bat [no bat pun intended].

Can also imagine wanting to try out Batman's skills at surfing across the cake while perched on top of the Batmobile...WHEEEE!

August 13, 2009 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

wow, that is horrible! hope she didnt pay much for it!!

August 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterS

Wuaaaaa..What happen? I think it turn like the most dark night ever! And what was Batman telling, is he calling a taxi or Joker?! =D

Summer" rel="nofollow">Writers Den" rel="nofollow">Brown Mestizo

August 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSummer

Batman should never have to go through this.

mmm slugs. Not what I originally thought they were. Slugs is actually better.

August 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterPaige

Give them a break! They obviously lost their stencils. :D

August 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

what a hot mess...

August 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSara

I think you have finally found a cake which upsets me.

August 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnna Banaani

The first cake looked kinda wrecky to begin with, but the second...

WV: "evagging" The second cake made me so disgusted, I was evagging.

August 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAngela

FLMAO! this is PRETTY BAD! how are they even allowed to SELL THESE? there's NO way in hell i would pay for this wreck if i ordered a licensed cake and THIS monstrosity is what i got! that's INSANE! and FUGLY as hell!! lmao

August 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterGiusi.

o_O That hurts my brain.

August 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDea

I thought the same thing as Jael (way up at the top) about being happy that the "artist" didn't try to recreate the exhaust. (Probably would have been in choclate, but let's not go there!)

And the only thing that comes to mind is "and me without a spoon." *strolls off humming the tune to "great green gobs of greasy, grimy gopher guts..."*

August 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKaren

Wow. I have no words...

(Except my little sister just pointed out that the non hitler-saluting arm is actually in a different position on the second cake than the first. Maybe it's the angle?)

August 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Actually, I don't think they are the same toys. Batman's limbs are in different positions, and the first car is smaller and shinier.

Of course, if the cake looked better, that wouldn't matter.

August 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJasini

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