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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Tuesday
Aug182009

National Cupcake Day

I'm told that today is National Cupcake Day. So, we could celebrate all that's good about these mini-cakes in paper wrappers, and look at beautiful examples of them made by talented people...

OR

We could take a little refresher course on why Cupcake Cakes are evil. After all, what better way to celebrate the cupcake than by protecting it from unholy perversions which must be stopped before cake art as we know it is ruined beyond all saving!?!

[patting down hair]

Yeah, I like Option B better, too.

There are two types of CCCs: your basic, all-slathered-together model:

(which Wreckerators are forever trying to make round shapes out of)

And the "mosaic" style, wherein the cupcakes are each iced separately:

(Either a crying fish or an airplane turned sideways, dumping out the pilot's lunch.)

As you can see, both types of CCC are what baking industry insiders refer to as "fugly."

Plus, cupcake cakes come with enough frosting to induce a diabetic coma merely by being within a ten-foot radius. Usually we're spared this sight because CCC photos are taken from directly overhead, but you can sort of see what I'm talking about here:

What's worse: that this is supposed to be a sombrero, or that there's even more icing underneath those paper wrappers, gluing them to the board?

CCCs almost always result in shapes that baffle the imagination. If you wanted to put that in a positive light (which I don't) you could say they're like edible Rorschach tests (so I won't). And so one person's hamburger becomes another's highway o' caterpillars:


One person's flip-flops becomes another's necklace-wearing alien blobs with hives:


Or one person's [Note to John: what the heck is this? Find out and insert here] becomes another's Mardi Gras cactus mask:

Or maybe it's a flying pickle. [head tilt] Huh.

Rather than fighting back against the evil infiltrating their bakeries, I'm afraid most Wreckerators have simply given up:

[throwing down spatula] "Meh, it's a football. Time for my break."

Others write us little clues on the cake board:

I'm pretty sure "No Intelligent Life Found" means this is supposed to be a UFO, but that doesn't mean I can't appreciate the irony.

And still others are clearly having so much fun that they may need forcible restraining:

Duuude.

Well, I think you get my point: cupcakes are great, cupcake cakes are - to put it nicely - fugly icing bombs sprung from the bowels of Hell's kitchen. (The real one, I mean. Love ya, Gordon!)

Matt H., Chessa N., Lauren R., Jennifer R., Brittany H., Amy L., Nathan, Nichole B., & Beth, go forth and eateth thine cupeth caketh in exceedingeth celebration.


Related Wreckage: Cupcake Cakes: Always Wrecktastic. Always.

« A Day in the Life of a Wreckerator, Pt 2 | Main | A Day in the Life »

Reader Comments (168)

I can't believe someone made a POOCHIE CCC...and that I could actually recognize it! Mad props to whoever bridled their restraint and pulled it off!!! I would so buy one if it showed up at my local bakery.

August 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

A poodle CCC? Ick.

Cupcakes are awesome. CCCs defeat the purpose of cupcakes: Cakey goodness without getting icing all over your hands.

August 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRubyfruit

I took one look at the football CCC and thought "It's a giant turd. With tapeworms."

Seriously, four years of vet school does weird things to your head.

August 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterQatie

You really haven't experienced cakewrecks until you have perused it with a recent Ethiopian adoptee who just keeps repeating two English words that he knows. To wit: cake & nasty.

August 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJulia

I'm pretty sure we've all agreed that cupcake mosaics are badarse, though no harder to wreck than ordinary cakes.

August 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKit

I think the two pink ones with flowers are suppose to be flip flops LOL! The plane one is suppose to be a sea turtle with bubbles, I think.
I love this blog!

August 31, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCheri

LoL A lot of those really are up to interpretation.

October 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterVioletYoshi

nicole

Reading the blog behind me my mom goes what the **** that would make me cry what is that suppost to be

October 8, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterpatriotgirl69

Could the green cactus looking thing possibly be the mask from the movie THE MASK?

October 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKristie

LMAO!! I LOVE your commentary!! Buuuttt, the 2nd one is upside down, and it is actually a fish with little air bubbles that should be going up. And the "flying pickle" is actually a Saguaro cactus, and would actually look more like one if they would have removed the 3 cupcakes that are between the "arms" and the "trunk" of the cactus (what were they thinking?). And lastly,I think the "football" is actually a depiction of 4 glowworms getting ready to mud-wrestle (I could be wrong!). I think you are spot-on for the rest of them! Love ya! Keep up the great work! - Frank

October 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Oh ye gods -snort- this is still my favourite cake wreck of them all, because the phrase "highway o' caterpillars" makes me laugh every single time I read it!

October 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda

"necklace-wearing alien blobs with hives"

Possibly the greatest descriptive line I have read in ages! LOL - LOVE IT!

November 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAmber Sweeney

I hear ya on the "No Intelligent Life" one. Let us bask in the glow of the irony (*Basking in irony*)

February 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnne

That football one...what's the point? Why not just ice each cupcake individually and say, "Hey, come get your chocolate cupcake!"

June 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

That last one is totally supposed to be a Shampoodle! It's a toy from the 90's...and I had one.

http://media.photobucket.com/image/Shampoodle%20toy/Avesa/n1401660149_30147213_5809.jpg

Here is the white-and-pink version next to a real dog. :)

June 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

It looks like a green wolf with a serious acne problem.

June 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

the "flying pickle" is a cactus, and the fish one is upside down, just like @Jasini said!

October 11, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I just got introduced to this site by a friend. I can't help but think that the flying pickle is actually the head of a skinned alligator with some Christmas lights thrown on.

November 20, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAlternate View

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