My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Two Words, Bakeries:

Drug screening.

Seriously. You guys might want to look into it.

You also want to make sure the DTs are over.

"Triangle Man, Triangle Man,
Doing the things a triangle can...

And just FYI, managers: Drawing a tuxedo-clad "Triangle Man" with webbed feet is not compelling evidence of sobriety. So you probably shouldn't pick that guy to do the window display:

On the other hand, if you ever have an occasion that calls for a clown to run over another clown who's broken in half while stabbing at a third clown - who's drowning - and all three to be surrounded by bucks, bucking broncos, and mysterious brown swirls in the sky... well, then, you should probably seek professional help.

Courtney C., Jen C., Kirsten K., & Samantha R., I get by with a little help from my friends.

- Related Wreckage: Back to Basics

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Reader Comments (172)

Jen - that's a rocket.

Not that that excuses the cake. I'm just saying.

August 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRobin


That reminds me, I have to take a picture for you, if the cake's still at the grocery store.


August 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJen

That Green Tree Cake could have been okay, if they didn't scribble with the fine point tip all over!!

I agree....drug screening should be mandatory!!

August 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLisa

"Hi, we want a cake for our little Nate's birthday. Could you model it off of this early masterpiece from our budding little artist?

Oh, and also, his favorite color is green. Thanks!"

August 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

after squinting for a while, i think that brown poo in the sky on the clown supposed to be the dessert sun O.o

August 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRebecca

Well, at least it isn't the Triangle Man from Silent Hill...

The clown cake...holy cannoli! Clowns are frightening enough by themselves, but when they're bent in half the wrong way...hmmmm. Bucks and palm trees? Round red blobs? I think we're starting to drift into David Lynch territory with this one.

August 21, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterredraven

@ Nate's Mom... Indiana Jones inspired, hmm...

Well I guess I can stretch a little ways and say from above it could pass for tree tops and jungle vines.

They still missed whatever they were going for though.

August 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJulie

Aack! Triangle man! I love him. What is that??

The clowns...of the clowns. Why? That's just wrong.

August 21, 2009 | Unregistered Commenter:::b r a n d i:::

Nice TMBG reference! :)

August 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRenee

Triangle Man is definitely a rocket. That apparently does up with buttons.

August 21, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterjames

Love the TMBG reference!!!!! Too cool!

August 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHippie Mama Kelly

Well, I do know that deer hang around palmetto trees on occasion ...

Re the first and second cakes: whatever those people were on at the time, I want some.

Word verification: waite. I can't waite to read Cake Wrecks every day.

August 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterScritzy

The They Might be Giants reference almost made me spit tea all over my laptop. XD ROFL

August 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMeia

This blog makes me laugh till I cry almost daily! Thanks :)

August 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterEmily

Those clown decorations should've been chucked out during the McCarthy era, because they are freaky as hell.

I like the first one, though, but Katamari Damacy may have trained me to be amused by bright colors with gentle insanity.

wv: dupes. Yeah, the baker dupes people into buying these Wrecks!

August 21, 2009 | Unregistered Commentersteeple333

Mira8: You know, I was kinda thinking the same thing until I went to a large chain store bakery today. I kid you not, they had this thing that I think was supposed to be a shih-tzu. The cake must have been a rolled cake of some type...with all the frosting "hair" draping off of it. It had the most insane face you've ever seen and these chocolate...things...trailing behind it. When I realized the things were supposed to be muddy footprints, I started laughing so hard I caused a bit of a scene!

If only I had had my camera with me!!!!

(Oh, and yay for the TMBG reference! My favorite screen name since my MUD days (now that really makes me a geek) has been blu_canary! Yes, as in "in the outlet by the light switch".)

August 21, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterblu_canary

Oh Geesh. It just keeps getting worse..

August 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterG.H.

holy smokes, these are weird! What's the deal with the green one? I don't get it. Nor do I understand the "triangle man"...very strange.

August 21, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterchicken lips

I think the decorator of #4 was inspired by David Lynch. Only he could combine a clown car accident with wildlife and palm trees.

August 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBree

That clown cake points to a problem with many of these cakes; namely dimension. You have a three dimensional scene on a two dimensional cake with the X axis of the scene corresponding to the Y axis of the cake causing the whole cake to be wrong both aesthetically AND mathematically. If I have lost everyone, I apologize but for those geeks out there (you know who you are, you LOVED the Doctor Who cakes just as I did), you get what I mean.

August 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterReg

Once upon a time my family moved me from my happy life on the east coast to a desolate air force base out west. Along the way I turned 7 and they bought me a Smurf cake. This was in 1987...but I can vividly remember the Happy Birthday and the bridge that the little hiker Smurf was walking over...and it's the same ones as the last cake. When the Smurfs go missing, you must have to go with clowns...

August 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterChristina

I'm pretty sure that the triangle man is a rocket ship.

August 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterGrumpyBear in Blue

This is why kids hate clowns >_<

August 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterOphelia

While I worked as a cake decorator, my boss had this great idea to let the kids decorate their own cakes on mothers days, I must say, that looks alot like what was going on then.

August 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterQuitter

I love your site, I visit it every day and I always enjoy it. I just took a job at Food Lion in the deli/bakery and I'm going to be decorating cakes... I'm a little bit terrified that I'll suck and end up on Cake Wrecks but I am going to do my best to avoid it!

August 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLaura

I find it hysterical that you referenced partical man today, since I JUST saw the tiny toons episode that uses that song!

August 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSkittl1321

They Might Be Giants just doesn't get quoted enough. And my monitor must be bad, because on the last cake with the clowns, I read that as Slappy, not Happy Birthday.

August 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLL

Thank You for the They Might Be Giants reference.

August 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterPip

I already thought you were awesome, but now I am head over heels for you--all because you referenced old school TMBG. *swoon*

August 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMelissa

They Might Be Giants! SO my era!

"Triangle Man, Triangle Man, Triangle Man hates Person Man. They have a fight, Triangle wins. Degraded man, Person Man...." Accordion Solo!

August 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCheryl

Max here!

I love Triangle Man! Hes only like the best super hero since Toast Man!


August 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMAXXY

I chuckle at the majority of the entries, but the commentary on the clown cake made me crack up. WOW. The wrecks are enough on their own, but your commentary just takes the hilariousness to another level.

August 21, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterstuckonsushi

I find clowns to be kind of creepy, but this is just downright disturbing.

August 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I was nauseated by the green squiggly things, it looked too much like thin, moldy worms on the get-away. *shudder*
The clowns. Oh, dear heavens above what does someone say about THOSE?! Um... I'm glad they weren't on a surprise cake for me?
However, I have to admit to liking the triangle-in-a-tux. He reminded me of the townspeople from The Point and brought up warm, fuzzy childhood memories. The Skeksis can do that for me as well, any cakes of them?

August 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMelanie

triangle man may just be my favorite superhero now...

August 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJaycey

The third cake gives me a serious case of border envy. So, what did they do? Have the borders done by their best decorator and then call in an unhinged person to "decorate" the top? Weird. Totally weird.

August 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSuzette

Wait, lemme get this straight...

So far, I've seen multiple references to Doctor Who, They Might be Giants, Star Trek, Stargate...and all of this wrapped up in cake?

I...I think I love you.

August 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBellaMoccia

bahahahaha! And this is what cake on acid looks like. The happy, hallucinogenic butterfly attacks!

August 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJanell

My husband would LOVE a Triangle Man cake! What a great idea!

August 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKeesler Chaos

I'd like to defend the 'triangle man'...well, defend the decorator.

Unfortunately, this is one of the 100 or so designs approved by GAC. Even the 'professional' one in the brochure looks like this cake!!!

In my 7yrs working at GAC, I've done this cake exactly twice, probably because no one could figure it out what its suppose to be. For the record, its suppose to be a rocket ship and there's suppose to be stars all around the ship.

August 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

That clown cake is a work of art. If I am ever allowed to marry, that is going to be my wedding cake.

August 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAlex C.

But... they spelled "happy Briday" wrong.

I'm sort of wondering if/hoping that the first cake was based on the child's drawing. (Except it doesn't look like it was custom made, so who knows. That and as a social worker I have some concerns about the child who created it.)


August 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The first one would be a jubilant success had it been made at home by mom and a two year old. Too bad it's masquerading as a professional effort.

I've seen, and own, all the Indiana Jones movies and I just don't see the source of inspiration. It's a little like the exploded alien brains in Mars Attacks, though.

August 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAviatrix

If the clown cake was made by a Chinese restaurant, maybe it's sort of a rebus or a pun or something in Chinese...

August 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBillyD

Hooray for the They Might be Giants reference!

August 22, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterbobo

Dead clowns to boot! 'Cause that's what those little X's in their eyes are. Can't stand dead clowns.

August 22, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterrobyn

Oh my gosh, nothing makes me happier than a They Might Be Giants reference! =]=]

August 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAllie

Actually, I want that first cake. Rainbow psychedelia on a butterfly? I'm down. :)

August 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAllTimeLow = LOVE.

You know, Triangle man HATES Particle Man. You should also try singing the Spiderman theme song to the Particle Man tune and vice versa. It totally works.

August 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKaren

The second cake is actually a high class thing. See most people don't know is that "Nate" invented Silly String. And he, ahhhh, really likes cabbage.

August 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDiana

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