My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

I'm This Many

Let's see if you can guess how old these cake celebrants are:

(Ah, phone orders, how I love thee...)

This next one's a bit harder because of the lousy penmanship, but give it a minute: it'll come to you.

Did you get it? Huh? Didja?

Seriously, how fabulous is this? The baker took a simple two-word inscription ("You're 31!"), turned it into a three-word inscription, and then misspelled every word. ("Your thirtee won")

And then there's that comma. Just look at it, sitting there all nonchalantly, mocking my every attempt to comprehend its existence. Grr. I tell ya, if there's one thing I hate, it's smug punctuation marks. Yeah. It's all, "Hey, you should pause for breath here, even though the sentence has technically already ended." Aaaugghh!!

I can't take it anymore!
The comma must be stopped!!

[patting down hair]


So, where were we?

Oh, right. Well, I have no idea how old Alicia here is...

...but at least there are no stinkin' commas.

Jennifer S., Cari B., & Alicia W., I've noticed that more people are suggesting I take a day off lately. I have no idea why.

- Related Wreckage: Tassel Hassles

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Reader Comments (104)

I'm gonna say that Alicia is 20. It's like saying you're now a tweenager ANNND you reached your twentieth birthday!!

September 15, 2009 | Unregistered Commenter~ L. K.

Okay. *Cracks knuckles*.

"Half way 230": I think anonymous is right, and it must mean 25.

"Your thirtee won": I can't even hazard a guess, I'm laughing too hard. It's really sad when the baker's penmanship is so bad that we can't tell just how wreckly the cake is.

"Tweeteenth": I can see mashing up "twelve" and "thirteen" and getting "tweeteen". 13 is still a little old to be getting a pumpkin coach on your cake, but only a little.

September 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDaniel

The first one took me a minute. The second one made me think "your thirties won" which made me wonder if it was a 40th birthday cake. Who knows about the last one. What birthday is celebrated with a garlic clove on wheels?

September 15, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterdeemack

Bahhhh! Maybe the cake decorator meant to spell Thirteen but just had a wicked bad speech impediment! So funny. Love the site, keep the laughs coming!

September 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJMo

I thought twentieth too.

September 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRebecca F.

"your thirtee won,"

Why the comma? Well, it was a phone order and the customer obviously figured the decorator knew how to spell, but they wanted to be sure that an ! be placed at the end. Illiterate decorator not only didn't know how to spell, but also was completely unfamiliar with basic punctuation and thought a comma was an exclamation point! [rolls eyes]

Question? Why wouldn't a bakery have a list posted of basic words like congratulations and graduate and give instructions to NEVER write out number names, just stick with the numbers?

September 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKT

"Half Way 230" will always be 25 in our family... after celebrating my husband's 25th birthday with a few too many drinks at the premium cinema, I said to him, "Wow, 25! You're half way to 30!" He gave me a funny look and said, "don't you mean 50?" Me, "Umm... no - 25 is half way between 20 and 30!" He'll be turning half way to 40 this friday. :)

September 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAMB

I agree that the "tweeteenth" might actually be what the caller wanted, assuming that their daughter was very excited to be a TEENager and didn't want to wait until she turned thirTEEN, so they came up with some weird name for twelve using "teen."

But....probably not. :)

September 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLisa Hilton

Holy crap. That middle one makes me feel stabby.

September 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterVicki

On the third cake, maybe all that yellow in a round shape put 'Tweety' into the mind of the 'artist'. Thus, we have 'tweeteith' or however they misspelled it. :)

September 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterEric

Taylor (My Older Brothers) @ 9:34. Your comment literally made me laugh out loud!!! This post is hilarious,


September 15, 2009 | Unregistered Commenteralisaz


I think you're onto something here. Maybe it was in honor of the world's oldest person.

But does anyone else think the title of "World's Oldest Person" is kinda cursed?
The current title-holder is always in the news because they died.

September 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTaylor

Who would give a 150 year old a gray cake anyway?

WV: flortee - actually, I'm flortee flor!

September 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKaren

I can't believe that an adult who has a job can be that dumb. These always amaze me.

September 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHeather

I want to be tweeteenth!! it sounds more fun than 49.

September 15, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterdiddleymaz

Never thought I'd actually be an advocate for those number candles, but these cakes put up a good argument. However, not sure what digits you'd need for tweeteenth. I think that's the number that comes between elevendy-twelve and a gazillion............

September 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Classics!!! You are going to have to add another chapter to your book!

September 15, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterjoyce

Day off? No way! Keep 'em comin! So much fun!

September 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Ahh, I remember being Tweeteen,

September 15, 2009 | Unregistered Commentertrishki

(1) "Half Way 230"? {Made by someone who's ALL the way to STUPID?}
(2) "your thirtee won,"? {And my SENSIBILITIES have LOST!}

(3) Assuming that "Alicia" isn't actually a teenage parakeet...
get it. FugGET it.
I don't know how old Alicia is, either; I just hope that she's young enough not to be revolted by that Cinderella-style *coach* wannabe. Which just happens to be pretty darn...well...unlovely.
Anything over... oh... say, 5 years old~~yeah, fugGET IT.

Oh, and Melinda @ 11:02:
In-NEON punctuation errors??!!
I hate that! It's truly despicable!
I say the offenders should be electrocuted with their own stupid signs!

September 15, 2009 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

I'm actually thinking Alicia's "Tweeteenth" is supposed to be "Thirteenth" or even "Sweet Tenth".

:p But that's just me and my crazy brain.

September 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterGoof

Maybe the first one is a diet celebration cake for someone who used to weigh 420. Yeah, a diet celebration cake makes total sense. ;)


September 15, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterahava_128

Well I just think Alicia is in denial all together! And her family and local bakery are obviously supporting her delusion. Yet, I have to wonder why the ugly pink border stops halfway around the cake. I mean, REALLY? The girl is in denial about whatever her freakin' age is and you can't even give her a little support? Is a full, ugly pink border too much to ask?!!!!! Ugh.... at least it's a birthday, so there can be margaritas. Thank goodness, because my head hurts!

September 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCourtney C.

One of my biggest pet peeves working at a bakery was mis-spellings, and the decorators doing stupid interpretations on cakes (or order forms for that matter). I don't know how many times I caught a bad one and had to call the customer to check what they wanted so that we could avoid cakes like this!! I know we missed some too :-(

September 15, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterzebe912

Half way 230, so the other half of y'all better catch up and eat more cake so we will all way 230 and win The Biggust Miss Spellars contest.

September 15, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterjill


I think the third cake is supposed to say Sweet Sixteenth.

Say it as if you have a lisp.

September 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Tweeteenth??? LMAO!

September 15, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterholly

Vickie! Aunt Mary Maria Blythe, the visitor who stayed what? a couple of years? And who was a miserable old boot in the bargain! Love that someone else remembers her!

wv: ainat. "Mary Maria was no joy to live with."

"Ainat the truth."

September 15, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterholly

The coach on the last cake is actually nice. But how disengaged from what you are doing do you have to be to patiently pipe out the message on the second cake and never catch a clue?

Word Verification: poksnize. To painstakingly do a good job of exactly the wrong thing.

September 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I have no idea what my "thirtee" is, but I'm glad it didn't lose!

September 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAmber

Thanks for the laughs.. I really needed that! That second one was great.

September 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterNicole

Oh how I wish I were tweetween again.
Wasn't there a song about that?

September 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSuzanne Dargie

She is 20- "Twentieth"!

September 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterChristi

The first cake is a wreck, but not how you think. Clearly the person ordering the cake is getting it for her WeightWatchers class, celebrating the fact that of the class, "Half Weigh 230". So, you know, progress!

September 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTony Vila

I honestly read the second one as "you thirsty wurm" and assumed it was a fanfic tribute to Frank Hubert and his Dune series.

After all, the swirling frosting could be those barren sandhills of Dune.

Yes, they could! (Except maybe slightly more moist and involving sugar.)

September 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLinnie

Ah, I REALLY needed that laugh today! Thank you, Mr. Comma!

September 16, 2009 | Unregistered Commentersambrael

*starts singing* "She was only twenty-seventeen! She was a something-something beauty queen! She's a brain, brain, brain sister!"

September 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKore

I still haven't got the first one (I'm french : it's already a hard job for me to understand "real" english, so mispelled english is even harder !) But really, when I want a good laughing break, I'm coming on your blog... My favorite posts are on baby shower cake's : so incredible !

September 16, 2009 | Unregistered Commentermisa

Given the girlishness of the image, I'm pretty sure tweeteen is twelve--twe (twelve) and teen because by golly she's a teen even if she is 12.

-a grandmother of 4 girls, aged twee-teen to 6.

September 16, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterdrkala

The white one with the pink icing--I read that as "your thirties won" (though mispelled of course as thirtees). Like, the entire decade you've been thirty has won?

September 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterH to the izzo

I think its meant to say "Twenteen." As in... you're 20 but want to be a teenager still.

September 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterEl

"your thirtee won"--I'm 40 in a few months, my thirties DEFINITELY won--because every time I look in the mirror, I see that clearly, I -lost-!!

"tweeteenth"--"you're a teenager, and this Cinderella-esque thing you're STILL on is just too twee to live with."

And as for lurking EEEEEEEEEeeevil commas....oh my, yes. Commas are stealthy little creatures, always creeping up and insinuating themselves where they don't belong--sometimes in place of a full-stop, but more often, stealing the rightful home of the noble semicolon. Do NOT get me started on those pretenders to the semicolonial throne!!

September 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterGladys

The last cake actually SHOULD have a comma! (Or is that part of the joke?)

September 17, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Anyone else read the first one as "Half Way, 210"?

September 17, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHannah

Yeah, ok, the comma - just killed me.

September 18, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterjune2

Alicia is obviously 4! They just really messed up the spelling of that one. It's ok, she can't read yet anyway.

September 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I have just found your site and you are freakin' hilarious! I love the cakes and the commentary.

I almost peed my pants laughing at the smug comma remark. LOL! Thank you for the monday laughs. I am totally subscribing to your feed!

September 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLorza

Heh heh heh... Number two looks like "You're"

September 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCake Zombie

I say the first cake means she's turning fifteen!! See, half way to (2) thirty! Which is fifteen, I'm pretty sure.

September 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHannah T. :)

Guess what!!!!! I think that you,

Ahahahaha!! That was enjoyable,

I am annoying you intentionally,

September 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHannah Turner :P

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