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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Wednesday
Sep162009

Creepy Crawly Cakes

Can't we just have normal frosting roses, sprinkles, maybe a spermy-looking bunch of balloons? Even a beanbag-body clown would be ok. I mean, I try to avoid even being in the same room with yukky-looking creatures...do I really have to take a bite out of one with a side of Ben and Jerry's?


This is a Naked Mole Rat. Cousin to the rare Old Navy Sweater-Wearing Mole Rat. This cutie is interesting because he lacks the ability to feel pain.

Yeeeah. I kinda wish I had that trait right about now.


Maybe if we hadn't stored this confection in a grimy cabinet and put a ravioli under the sheets, we could have avoided this infestation, hmm?

And speaking of infestations...


Do you think if you made a cake like this out of Twinkies, it'd be twice as likely to survive a nuclear holocaust? Just wondering.

Hey, ever wonder what you'd get if you crossed a naked mole rat with a roach?

Yeah, me neither.

Still, I bet it'd look something like this:


Kathy, Rebecca A., Lisal F., & Jessica D., these cakes aren't bugging you, are they?

UPDATE: A big thanks to Cristy B., creator of the Naked Mole Rat cake, for being such a good sport and submitting her own cake!

- Related Wreckage: I'm Guessing They Didn't Have a Matching Card

« Not-So-Passive Aggressive Cakes | Main | "World" Tour Final Countdown »

Reader Comments (219)

EWWWW Gross yuck! Thanks for the nastiest post I've ever woken up to! All I can do is squint my eyes now and go back through the other blogs to change my face! lol

September 16, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterstep0nmi2

The naked mole rat is definitely an R.O.U.S. (Rodent of Unusual Size -- see The Princess Bride). I thought so even before reading a word.

September 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJacob

Oh dear Lord. Gross.

September 16, 2009 | Unregistered Commenter:::b r a n d i:::

In a word, 'EWH'

September 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterStella

@Bobman...
You're right!

"They got a pepper bar!"

September 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTaylor

Ooookkaayyy...I think I'll be skipping lunch today...@@
wv: hianteod. The noise I would make if my aunt tried to give me one of these cakes.

September 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRuthie

I'm going to go out on a limb and say that last one is supposed to be a cicada. (if you've never seen one of these freaky little guys check it out here: http://georgiafaces.caes.uga.edu/storypage.cfm?storyid=2201 )

why a cicada is now the question....perhaps they love being kept up at night by the noise?

September 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJessX

Gah! Urp.

And I haven't even had breakfast yet... I may not, now.

September 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAngie

The Naked Mole Rat! Reminds me of the awesome documentary http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0119107/" rel="nofollow">Fast, Cheap, and Out of Control. It's about four people with unusual careers - one of whom is a naked mole rat scientist (the mole rats are naked, not the scientist).

Mind you, it never explains why someone would make a cake of one, but what have you...

September 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBillDarryl

Jess X,

Ding ding ding!!!

It IS a cicada. Or it's supposed to be.

My question is: Does it crunch when you bite into it like it does when you step on it?

Just a thought.

john

September 16, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterjohn (the hubby of Jen)

Why would someone go to all the time and effort to create something so ugly? http://blog.sweetservices.com/sweetscandyblog/

September 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterPam Walter

I am the molerus...coo coo ca-choo!

September 16, 2009 | Unregistered Commentermudslicker

Naked mole rats are repulsive in a cute sort of way... I remember visiting a zoo who had them, and I stood staring at them for at least fifteen minutes, simultaneously fascinated and repelled. I wouldn't want to eat one as a cake, though, but that's just a general problem I have with all animal-shaped food.

And by the way, the teeth don't come from their noses but from an opening in their upper lip - their upper lip isn't completely split as in other rodents, so they won't get dirt into their mouths while digging their underground tunnels (which the teeth are for). That's kind of cute, right? Right?

September 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHanna

Eww, eww, eww! Gross, shudder, GAH!

*shivers*

Thanks. So much for my future good night's sleep for the rest of the week. I really can't decide which one is worst. Gotta admit, the Mole Rat is pretty darn realistic. Shame.

September 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterPhoenix

Oh, ew. I was just eating breakfast, too! Love the line about the Twinkies!! thanks for that laugh.

September 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDharmamama

sleep tight, dont let the bed bugs bite! YIKES!

September 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSandee

What? WHAT?!??

Usually you WARN us before things like this.

*tear* I feel so betrayed and sick to my stomach :P

September 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLaurenH

I lived in a subtropical land for almost five years. After a while you get to a stage, in that climate, where the bugs have to be speaking your language in a British accent before they'll freak you out. Baby roaches are the green ones only two inches long; the big black ones that are six inches and whose little heads swivel visibly around as they look at the world, those are the grownups that you can't kill.

So, in cake, oddly not repulsive to me. I can't say that I'd ask for anything like that, but it doesn't give me the heebyjeebies as it might have before my sojourn away from a more temperate clime.

The naked mole rat unfortunately reminds me too much of the baby cakes, and those do in fact bother me. :(

September 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterOPhelia

I literally jumped back a little when the naked mole rat appeared. I just never know what I'm gonna get on this site. I need to remember to put the oatmeal DOWN before I click on this page.

September 16, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterpeewee

Are you sure the first one isn't a ROUS?!

Those are grossss!

I had a roach in my livingroom last night ... did you know those things LEAP?!

September 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKristen

EW! ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew!!!

As for the last one, I'm certain that's a ciquada. Likely "commemorating" one of the years that they come out. Thank god they only rear their ugly little faces every 7 years otherwise I'd freakin move!

September 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKatjaMouse

My daughter loves naked mole rats (we have them at the local zoo). But she does not want a cake that looks like them!

September 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterFrank Alejano

Eating anything that looks like a bug is simply barftastic. Gross.

September 16, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterdenisewalks

Oh man... I really didn't think a cake could be worse than the little fetus hand reaching up out of the belly (last week), but this nekked mole rat is beyond gross. i get the shivers just looking at it... especially the back view. Bleeecchh! Thanks Jen.

September 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLisa Leggett

The last one looks like something from Cronenberg's Naked Lunch film.

September 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Anyone remember Kim Possible from the Disney Channel? Kim's "sidekick" had a naked mole-rat named, Rufus. Rufus had big teeth, but they came out of his mouth NOT his nose!! He was also quite cute. This guy looks like someone was playing around with a bootleg gene-splicer and got side-tracked.

September 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJaemi

ewwwwww!!!!!!! gross!

September 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLucille Ball Jr.

I'm still trying to figure out why the teeth are coming out of his nose.

September 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterPerkinsClan

EWWWWW! I had to scroll really, really fast though this one. You'd think I'd figure the subject matter out from the title but no...had to see those horrid bugs for myself. Did I mention I have a major bug phobia? *Shudder*

September 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDonna

If you think those are bad, you should see my cake of rats eating a severed human arm: http://www.doitmyself.org/2009/04/killer-rats-cake.html

September 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLeigh

Why is it people order cakes resembling animals and/or babies, etc...? I will never forgive Steel Magnolias for putting that idea out there into the world...bleeding armadillo cake was bad enough. The only thing I could come up with for a 9yr old's cake idea would be the Kim Possible cartoon on Disney from year's back. Ron Stoppable had a pet naked mole rat. But that thing looks like Stimpy's pal Ren, the asthmatic chihuahua, dontcha think???

September 16, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterkrazykris

On the snopes.com message boards we have a long running gag about naked mole rats. Needless to say, today's cakes went right up on the boards! Sick and awesome at the same time. lol

Security word: Jossive. That's right baby, Joss is boss!

September 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLizzy Leigh

I'm so totally grossed out right now.

September 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSerĂ¡

@Jaemi - That's what I'm thinking happened here. Some unwitting parent went into a bakery and said, "I want naked mole rat cake. You know like from Kim Possible." And they were EXPECTING the cute Disney version, but the baker, not knowing what a naked mole rat was, Googled and went with the more correct version.

Well mostly more correct...except for the teeth coming out the nose.

September 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLeslie

that last one is supposed to be a cicada??!

...reference pic needed to fully appreciate.

And in the mean time some pics are here:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cicada

wv - swatio. ...yes, lets do that.

September 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterEvalis

The cockroach cake actually looks pretty good. And the cicada cake isn't too bad, at least it's obvious what it is (if you've seen a cicada up close just last year). The naked mole rat, well, that's really nice airbrushing.

September 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKaren from the Cape

YUCK!! There is no way I could eat any of those cakes! ( and I love cake)
Well...i was about to go eat lunch but I may rethink that!

Jennifer

September 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I could love an insect cake, being an entomology geek. Just pick a different one.

September 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMelanie S

Just plain, what would one call it?
DISTURBING!

September 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLittle Buttercups

*checks google images*

Well the teeth are a bit misplaced, but in most of the pictures they are bucktoothed in a way that makes it look more like they come out from under the nose rather than being down over the chin. I think is more the angle then where they start that is the problem.

September 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Im also in the same boat as Jaemi.. I have a feeling since this is a 9 year olds birthday cake the parents asked the baker to do "that naked mole rat from Kim Possible".... And then..yikes.

September 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Nightmare city. EWWWWWWW!

September 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterPetalsYoga

The first cake looks like that animal crawled up on the counter and ate the cake that was supposed to be there.

Those are gross and if anyone ever presented me with something similar, they'd leave wearing it.

September 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterApril

GAG!

-Julie

September 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Gee...Nothing says, "Happy Birthday," quite like inducing a room full of children to vomit.

September 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBabsiegirl

My mom is a "small mammal interpreter" (her actual title) at the National Zoo, and Naked Mole Rats are kind of her thing. So, thank you Cake Wrecks. Now I know what's going on her birthday cake!

September 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKelly Anne

Holy .....

*Shudder*

Do you suppose somewhere out there is a cake in the shape of a can of Raid??

WV - blitchi - as in I'd be a bit blitchi if someone tried to serve one of those cakes to me.

I agree with the commenter about the Twinkie line being the best one.. You rock.

September 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterComfyDenim

C'mon, now, folks...ROUS's have fur. Granted, that poor critter up there is shaped very similarly to a person in a rat suit, but it's nekkid. No fur -> no ROUS. (Unless someone shaved one. Eew.)

I'd like to reiterate that, even though I often end up craving foods I see a lot of or are mentioned a lot...somehow, I never crave cake. Even on Sundays. In fact, I don't think I'll ever voluntarily make or order a cake again.

Next year is my 10th wedding anniversary. I guess we'll have pie.

September 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterGaladriel

Note to self: wait until after lunch to read Cake Wrecks. :-P

September 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRosie_Kate

See that last picture? I saw that and immediately made it on Spore.

http://static.spore.com/static/thumb/500/450/993/500450993723.png

September 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterShyTenda

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