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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Thursday
Sep172009

Not-So-Passive Aggressive Cakes

You know that feeling you get sometimes, where you think everyone hates you and is secretly plotting your demise? (No? Just me?)

Usually that's called "paranoia." Unless, of course, you're in one of these bakeries:

Then it's called "reading the room."

Betcha never knew someone could give you the finger while wearing a baseball mitt, now, did you?

They're watching. Alllllways waaaatching.

Of course, some decorators can be pretty subtle:

"Why did he have to roam alone? WHY?!?"

While others just let it all hang out:

"Grrrrr..."

At least some places still offer truth in advertising, though:


The lawyers insisted.

Magic Girl, Julie D., Alanna F., Terra B., Rhoni L., & Bonbon, these "cakes" make me think we should be nicer to decorators. They could snap at any moment.

- Related Wreckage: Passive Aggressive Cakes

« Wrecks Interrupted | Main | Creepy Crawly Cakes »

Reader Comments (88)

That sign is definitely in Milwaukee, most likely East Side...looking at the big image, there is a Shepherd Express newspaper to the left of the sign. Local Milwaukee paper, usually found on the east side of town. After work I may troll the streets for that one.

September 17, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

in the third pic; the eyes follow you wherever you go. creepy!

September 17, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterarchersangel

The "Cakes" sign is at Peter Sciortino's Bakery at the corner of Humboldt and Brady, 6 blocks from my apartment. Come to laugh at the sign (I always do), stay for the delicious pastries. Even the macaroons are transcendent.

September 17, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJM

Psst...I think it's on Brady Street...

September 17, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterPaigealicious!

Oh, I LOVE misplaced quotation marks!
There's a little (tiny) family-owned "store" down the street from me that has this sign in the window:

"FRESH"
"SMOKED"
HAM
"GRINDERS"
MADE
"DAILY"

I'm "not" making this up.
=^~~^=
***
As for the little footprints cake...truth be known, I'm a little less concerned about where the little feet were going than where they CAME from.
Do we have tiny elves hiding INSIDE of our cakes, just waiting for an opportunity to come out and take a stroll across the tops?
>^??^<

September 17, 2009 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

The "always watching" cupcakes (I think that's what they are) cracked me up!

September 17, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterStephanie

The fourth is pretty good, I think.

And no. three makes me think of The Flying Spaghetti Monser (MYBTBHNA).

September 17, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSili

Some of these cakes need an anger management class.

And... "Cakes"? Yahh...come on in and have a "Cake"...no really, its cake. Suuure it is....

September 17, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJust Me,Pilgrim

What in the heck IS that cookie cake???? It just looks like the leftover icing at the end of a long shift that the wreckerator did not want to have to clean up or put back in the tub of icing.... so he/she just squeezed out all of their frustrations which ended up looking like a mouth so they put teeth and eyes on it and call it... wait, i dunno what they call it!!!! UGH!!! Well, I call it crap...

September 17, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCourtney C.

How terrifying. Who are these decorators and why do they still have jobs?

http://confessions-of-a-waitress.blogspot.com/

September 17, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterG.H.

I am geeky enough that all I could think about over the first one was "Who watches the Watchcake?"

September 17, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterChristy Joy

I'd buy that cookie cake in a second. Mmmmmmm..........frosting.

September 17, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I love the cookies. I'm seriously tempted to make those. What's truly scary is all the icing it would take to make them. *Cringe*

agirlinherkitchen.blogspot.com

September 17, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterElizabeth

Yeah...yeah, that's right. "Cakes".

September 17, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I'm so glad that legalsmeagol and Sili thought the cupcakes looked like the Flying Spaghetti Monster too. First, I laughed. Then I wondered if I was the only person crazy enough to instantly think of good ol' FSM.

September 17, 2009 | Unregistered Commentercryandwriteasong

The footprints one... what were they thinking? "What's adorable?" "Fairies." "Alright, great, but can we make it more adorable? What's more adorable than just fairies?" "Fairy... suicide?"

September 17, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMorgan

He wasn't roaming alone, because you know that Jesus was carrying him...

September 17, 2009 | Unregistered CommenteriCasey!

Watching...they're always watching...I laughed pretty hard at that!!!!
I was also thinking that the Toadstools By The Lake cake should have a Smurf reference. The Smurf equivalent of "Friday The 13th"?
And "cakes"....yes the Lawyers...I'm SURE it has something to do with legal jargon and technicalities.

September 17, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSuzanne Dargie

My theory on the first cake -

Someone started to make a simple smiley face with just two vertical lines for eyes and a curve for a mouth. Then they realized they had scaled it totally wrong, and it only occupied a small area at the center of the cake.

So they started to elaborate, adding a lower lip, dimples on the corners of the mouth, and large pupils. The mouth turned out, if not actually good, then passable. They eyes on the other hand...

September 17, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Haha omg that cake with the foot prints leading to the water - that's terrible, but it made me laugh!

September 17, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKatie

Having played baseball against my husband at his company picnic, I was aware that one could flip the bird inside a baseball glove.

September 17, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterfrigglesnitz

LOVE the footprint one. I see that cake and just imagine a poor depressed woodland gnome wandering off by himself to just end it all.

September 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMichelle

Hey, the third ones down are Flying Spaghetti Monsters! He is reaching out with his noodly appendages!

September 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

They're all brilliant, always, but today that last one is especially brilliant ;)

September 18, 2009 | Unregistered Commenter125azul

For some reason that landscape cake remotely reminds me about Bond-film 'You Only Live Twice' and that garden in it..

September 18, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterkokonatsu

Yikes. Just. Yikes.

September 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAngie

I want that "catcher's mitt" cake for my Sister In Law. She deserves about 10 of 'em.

thanks for my laugh!

September 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterEtiquette Bitch

I didn't see eyes there... I saw mini boobie cakes. Ha!

September 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSheila

I want to shop at the place where they sell the "cakes" -- quote marks seem to have replaced everything bolded and underlined. I have a client (print and web) who insists on every other phrase being bolded and underlined (and most in italics, too). I must not let him see the quotes!

September 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterVickiB

I needed that laugh. Thanks!

September 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterShelley Dayton

With the footprints, I just saw an adorable little faerie-cake. I don't like to think that the faerie drowned, so I'm just going to go with swimming and right now she's submerged. Or maybe she came out of the lake and flew away, like a hatchling?

At first glance, the googly-eyes reminded me of the Fry Kids. But then I thought Geico.

wv: tinket The sound a faerie makes when she lands.

September 19, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterholly

I suspect the third one--the little cakes with the googley eyes--are supposed to be the Flying Spaghetti Monster. Not the best FSM food rendition I've ever seen, but it makes it a little more comprehensible.

September 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJack McCullough

am I the only one that sees the Cheshire Cat in the picture right before the sign?

September 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSyracuseWolvrine

lol why did he have to wander? why? LOL! so funny. these "cakes" are the best thanks Jen! ur comments r just as funny as the cakes!
by~Jenn

September 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Hey Paigealicious!-

Yes, the sign is from Peter Sciortino's Bakery on Brady. I haven't had their "cakes" but the have the best cookies.

-bonbon

September 20, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterbonbon and sapid

I "heart" Cake Wrecks, so I had to share this with you: http://www.unnecessaryquotes.com/

September 24, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSilvergoth

Haha! This is SO funny! I can take credit for the footprints cake.

... 'twas a year or two into my decorating experience and an order came through describing a cake with a small pond, miniature mushrooms and flowers and fairy footprints from the pond. Yes, indeed, the footprints are going the wrong way. I hand painted the feet making that mistake and everyone was happy with the cake and didn't notice...

I am honored to have my cake show up on this blog! It is hilarious! Thanks for a great laugh. It is never good to take yourself too seriously and this experience proves the truth of that statement!

Thank you!!!
Christy G.

October 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterChristy

My son said "EWWWW eyeball worms!" about those lovely pink iced cupcakes with the scary eyeballs.

October 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

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