My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Sarcasm! Wow, That's ORIGINAL!

John (that's my husband, for you newbies) is an absolute master of sarcasm. This is not a good thing. Half the time even *I* can't tell if he's being sarcastic or not, which has led to more than one tiff around bathing suit season. ("Wow, your butt looks fantastic in that. No, really.")

I think the problem is he's too subtle. If you're going to be sarcastic, and you actually want people to know it, you have to give them some clue. You know, like this:

Is this person really glad you're "here"? No, of course not. Just look at the signs!

1) It's misspelled, thereby signifying "your" not worthy of spell check.

2) There is no exclamation point, since that might betray some small enthusiasm over the prospect of your presence. Can't have that, now, can we?

3) The gratuitous quotation marks positively reek of passive aggression. Visions of jilted dates and stranded little leaguers spring to mind.

All that, with only three little words! This baker is superb.

So, how can you, the consumer, incorporate a little sarcasm into your own cake orders? Here are a few handy tips:

1. Add quotation marks to everything you don't really mean.

"Quotation marks: allowing you to tell lies with a clear conscience since 1945."

2. Omit enthusiastic punctuation.

Just try to read this cake without sounding sarcastic. Yeah. Exactly.

3. Misspell their name. (Especially effective when combined with tip #1 or #2.)

Now this is what I like to call a "sarcasm score!" Present this at the after-game dinner and just watch all those mopey, dejected faces turn into bright red, angry ones in no time at all!

Mary Anne E., Angela M., Sarah C., & Janet R., you guys are absolutely "awesome."

- Related Wreckage: Say What?

« Adowable Widdle Wrecks | Main | San Francisco Summary »

Reader Comments (75)

Longtime reader, first time commenter here!! :)

JUST received my copy of your new book in the mail today!! So excited - keep up the wonderful and hilarious site!! Love it!!

September 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterVeggieGirl

I totally LOLed at the Dr. Horrible reference! Thanks! :D (Or should I say "Thanks")

September 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJen

Your grammar nazi skills are "awesome". In the first cake, "your" is the kind of "spelling" mistake you make if you choose the wrong homophone.

September 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterEvie

Being the queen of sarcasm I adored this post. "Seriously." My favorite by far.

September 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRenny

It was "great" to meet you last night. LOL!

Truely it was great to meet you both.

September 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRenee

Hi, I have followed your blog for awhile now. I am just here to remind you that October is Breast Cancer Awareness month, and as a survivor, I am just going to all the blogs that I read to remind you to do your self breast exams. Have a great blessed day and DONT FORGET TO CHECK YOUR BREAST! Visit my blog for a Breast Cancer giveaway.

September 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterPink

Yay for Dr. Horrible references!

September 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKaylen

if someone really gave me a cake to sarcastic it is kind of good as you get to eat for free but at the same time be annoyed that someone is ready to part with their money just to annoy me.

September 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommentermizzyN

The Hot Shots cake FTW. It's the best way to tell your kid that his team just isn't that great at soccer while telling your team that they're great at soccer.

September 30, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterfeathergirl

I respectfully disagree with your quotation mark interpretation. I think the baker is in fact glad, but it seems that the recipient of this extraordinary creation has missed his or her own party and is not in fact "here." Maybe they needed to rearrange their sock drawer....

October 1, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterthe Lichtes

"Way to Go Bob" is, of course, what you say to someone who's just won a floating contest.


WV: comiest. These are the comiest cakes I've ever seen.

October 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterV

OMG- Well done for being featured in 'The Sun'! It's Britain's biggest circulating paper I think- It's huge, trust me! Congrats!

October 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBritwreck

Hey Jen, thought you might like to know that your blog is featured in a Australian news site :)

October 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJess

I'm trying really hard to take it on faith that you're right and that's a capital "G", but it looks an awful lot like a capital "D" to me.

Which would make it "Way To Do Bob". Assuming the lack of a comma is deliberate as well, this presumably celebrates an office romance that was kinky, but unspectacular.

October 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJohn Seavey

Hey, Jen! You're in my town (sorta) today!! Here's an article about you from today's Chicago Sun Times.,CST-FTR-cake01.article

October 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterChiTown Girl

Thanks for the Dr. Horrible reference!
We've seen GOOD Dr. Horrible cakes...have you found any bad ones?

October 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I read your blog daily - but I have to say it always makes my day when I see a Dr Horrible reference. Thanks for keeping the geek alive!

October 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

HAHahAHHAA love it.
:D <3

October 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterGiusi.

I thought it said "Way to go Hott Shota" which would make it wrong in even MORE ways.

October 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Dr. Horrible quote title!

October 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKiera

Am I the only one who thinks Mellisa's nose is a little ... umm ... phallic?

October 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBlondie

You quite possibly have THE best blog of all time, period! And that's not sarcasm . . .

October 2, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDrew

Love the Dr. Horrible reference in the title!

October 2, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKathleen

I just wanted to jump on the I-Love-You-For-Using-A-Dr.-Horrible-Reference-As-The-Title bandwagon. This is without a doubt one of my favorite websites. I hope you and John are feeling better!

October 7, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterThe Project

Wow. I s it really spelled "Mellisa" and not "Melissa"? Class. xx

October 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCupcakes Lady

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