My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

The #2 Way to Ruin a Cake

Step #1: Take a perfectly decent-looking cake

Step #2: Add random poo piles - just for giggles.

C'mon, everybody, sing it with me: "Chain chain chaaaaain! Chain of poos!!"

Eh? What's that? You think those are simply palm tree poos? Ok, I guess I could see that. But, can you explain...[dramatic pause]...THIS?


Actually, this isn't too much of a leap if you figure the customer asked for a "Princess and the Pea" cake. [wicked grin]

Then there are the stock designs with poo built right in:

Poor Wall-E. I bet right about now he's wishing the humans had stayed in space.

And to think: this is what "passes" for "cake decorating." But hey, maybe the designer was wiped out after a hard day logging too many hours, and got a little lax? If so, let that be a lesson to us all: don't push too hard; you'll only strain yourself producing crappy results.


And finally, a classic for the ages:

Beauty and the Feces.

Many thanks to my #2 wreckporters Kelli N., Wendi P., Stacey B., Jenny, & Sara B.

- Related Wreckage: Who Ordered the Poo Poo Platter?

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Reader Comments (121)

*gag* 'scuse me-- *runs for the bathroom*



Ok. I feel better now. I'll never eat cake again, but I feel better.


January 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMelissa (& Billy)

'Beauty and the Feces' maybe an upcoming movie? lol

What continues to amaze me is that people actually PAY MONEY for these hideous creations!

January 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSheila Bennett

Now that is some SERIOUS pun-dropping talent under the fourth cake.

Hehe..."dropping." :)

January 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJill of Ark

Regarding the commenter who posted regarding offensive ads: I visit this site every day (sometimes more than once. . . I know. . . get back to work, Liz) and have never seen anything like that. The ads are almost always about wonderful-looking desserts and weight loss. Nice little feedback loop they've got going there. Anyway, certainly something could've slipped throug the cracks that may be worth investigating, but it isn't the norm to see any remotely sexual ads here in my experience. Just thought you should know in case you were worried.

Liz in Seattle

January 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

No warnings, Jen? Well you're in deep doo-doo now!

(I'm so sorry, I couldn't help myself)

January 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDiana

I compare you to a kiss from a rose on the, er, poo?

January 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterWATERBABY CHRISTINE

Oh boy oh boy. What happened- they just had chocolate frosting and decided to pipe away??

January 15, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterblue

yum... chocolate....

January 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Yeah, what the heck is that last one supposed to BE? The others I can kinda see where they were going with it (coconuts, road to castle, um, grease stains left from spontaneous combusting x-men).

January 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterHobbit

Smell as old as time
Rude as it can be
Went to get Depends™
Then somebody bends

Just a little push
Small to say the least
Someone had to share
From their derriere
Beauty and Feces


January 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterE.M. Green

The problem with poo is, alas, it is the same color as chocolate.

January 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterVeronica Wald

#4 hubbyman says "It's POOsteroids!"

January 15, 2010 | Unregistered Commentermamabeck

Wow. Gee. To think people order and then "eat" these things...well, we don't have evidence of it, but the thought thereof leaves

January 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterStoich91

...and I laughed my head off for the rest of the day...

January 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterStella

This post really had me laughing!

About ads: there is an easy and 100% free way of not having to view ads.

Download the free Firefox browser.
Download the add-on "AdBlock Plus."

Block ads you don't want to see. Problem solved.

Oh and FYI, google ads on blogs like this display ads based on web pages your computer has viewed, and keywords your browser has searched.

If you are not the only user of your computer, may want to check the browser history because someone who uses the computer has most likely been visiting some dangerous sites. Also, update your virus protection and run a thorough scan. Just like visiting a "red light" district is a good way to pick up real diseases, the same is true for computer safety.

January 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The first one excites me because my name is Megan and my husband is Kyle.

But then I look at the brown and am creeped out and don't want our names on that cake. :P

January 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMegan

Totally SNORTED when I read E.M. Green's, um, song? :-)

Maybe the Princess Cake is Rapunzel's cake... Yeah, and... and... you just can't see HER... Just her Hair... and... and... ok, I got nothin'. Sorry. ;-)

January 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLaurie Laws

The Curious George cake might have been cute, if not for those curiously shiny piles. I live in Hawaii, and none of the coconuts here (or the trunks of coconut trees) look like deer pellets. I imagine if they did, it would somewhat detract from the beauty of these islands.

I'm really trying to put myself in the wreckerators' shoes, to figure out what these must have looked like to them to make them think they were passable... Yeah, I got nothing.

January 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAurora

Appart from the obvious poo factor, I'm still trying to determine what that last item is? Is it really a 2 piece CCC? A side view of a sheet cake? TELL ME!!

I could think of is this would make a hilarous break-up cake. Forget a "Dear John" letter. This would certainly get the message accross!

January 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I actually read the comment about offensive ads three times thinking someone was trying to be ironic and I was just missing it. Guess I was wrong! Thank to the person who posted info about AdBlock Plus. I didn't know something like that existed.

wv: hople as in I hople people who read a humor site have a sense of humor.

January 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

If such an ad was found here, how on earth will you ever know it was removed without looking at the site again?

About that Curious George cake, I think it absolutely belongs here. Just because poo is well-executed, it's still poo. And pate de fois gras is still just liver. In either case, I don't know why people go to such lengths to defend something so dreadful! There are other colors to consider in the jungle besides poo-brown, you know. I think there were probably some bets taken back in the kitchen when that one was made. Also, same when pate was invented.

January 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

what IS that last one?! (besides a wreck of course)

January 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterNala

Maybe that last one is a tribute to Outkast?:

"I know you like to think your sh*t don't stank
but lean a little bit closer, see
Roses really smell like poo-poo-poo!!"


January 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterRuth

Hi Cake Wrecks,
I've been reading your blog for a long time, and thought that the fundraising you did before Christmas was amazing and inspiring. In the wake of the earthquake in Haiti, would you be up for calling on all of your readers to come together one more time? I know that organizations like the Red Cross and Partners in Health are accepting donations, among others.
Thanks for your consideration and for all of your hilarious posts!

January 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Yay a Wolverine wreck! They seem to be comparatively rare. I was going to say 'thin on the ground' but that could go all kinds of nasty places. Meanwhile, from this angle, poor Wolvie looks like he's fallen over. Maybe 2 dimensional Magneto (pretty sure that's him and not Sabes) has discovered Wolvie's Kryptonite - or is that Kraptonite? Actually that would explain why Magneto is looking kind of flat. Those are some massive piles!

January 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterWolvie Girl

No matter how old I am, I will never. EVER. be too old to appreciate poop humor! :)

January 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterRita/Fighting Off Frumpy

holy crap!

January 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterRenee

In the last one, I think the Beast was just marking his territory....

January 15, 2010 | Unregistered Commentermorriganscrow

That last cake must have been ordered for an organic fertilizer sales convention.

January 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterGary

If you squint your eyes and pretend a little, that last cake looks like the Beast's hand holding the enchanted rose. Right?

January 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Holy poop references! That's pretty impressive that you squeezed all those into one paragraph.

The first cake, at least I can make sense out of the piles of poo and what they're intended to be. The other cakes? No! No reason. Just piles of poo.

January 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

anyone know of any 'Walter the Farting Dog' cakes (based on the kids books? I'm sure the wreckerators got really creative for those. It came up today when my friend said her son asked for Walter on a cake.

January 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLenore

Question: is there any way that brown frosting could be used on a cake WITHOUT it looking like poo?

January 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda

okay, i just returned to look at "Beauty and the Feces" one more once (great pun by the way).

There doesn't appear to be any CAKE associated with either pile of frosting - rose or otherwise. I wanna know - who orders something like this?

@shikishinobi - the title "the #2 way to ruin a cake" wasn't a clue today's topic might be a poopy post? even the second or third sentence mentioned the word poo... seems like there was plenty warning if you wanted to skip it.

January 15, 2010 | Unregistered Commentermn_me

Am I the only person who saw the "coconuts" that were in pairs of two and thought they looked an awful lot like the truck testicles?

January 15, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterthesacredandtheprofane

Maybe some people didn't guess what "The #2 Way to Ruin a Cake" was going to be about, but I was pretty sure we'd be in for a poo report on this post. I mean what else is #2 likely to mean??

January 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMike

*dissolves into laughter*

January 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMichelle

I was at a party recently that had that exact Wall-E cake, complete with poo... whatever it's supposed to be. I almost took a pic but wasn't sure it qualified as a wreck. Now I know better!

January 15, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterweb

to jo:

hahahahahahaha! "ass"-teroids. OMG! Hilarious!

And the paragraph of puns. AWESOME!

Beauty and the Feces = sheer brilliance. *lmao*

January 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKathleen

I wish I had something coherent to say, but in reality I am laughing so hard that I can't breathe!

January 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Ohh, the puns! They huurrt!

January 15, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterrobyn

OH MY GOODNESS! My husband's name is Kyle, our birthdays are a week apart, and he likes monkeys! I wonder if this is a cake we were supposed to see, but never did. . .

January 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMegan

Talk about craptastic!!

(get it? Crap? Poop? oh, ha ha ha! I knew you would laugh! tee hee)

January 15, 2010 | Unregistered Commentermarcia!

Ahahaha "Chain of poos"!!! You're killing me here!

January 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAshley

Where'd yesterday's blog post go?

Couldn't take the heat? So you got out of the kitchen?


I need a pregnancy joke instead...out of fertile ideas?

Hey, cake jokes are your job, not mine. Love your blog. :)

January 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMary Connealy

Oh...... wow.

This belongs in the "Classics" or "Fan Favorites" sections imho.

January 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCarrietastic

wow, you are funny as hell. Seriously.

January 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMary

Is "beauty and the" feces made entirely out of icing?
I think so!
(And those parenthesis are in exactly the right place!)

January 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterRebecca

Anonymous @3.53- I guess you could say they were ALL sheet cakes, if you have an accent- eef you get my dreeft ;-)
Amanda, Chocolate icing doesn't look quite so poo-like if you use a star tip...

January 16, 2010 | Unregistered Commentercolleenoz

Classic! You rock with the commentary!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What a great way to start the day!

January 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLeslee

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