My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

New Year's Diet Aid

Did you know that 89.3% of New Year's resolution diets FAIL in just 3 weeks?


Well, that's probably because I made that stat up. (FACT: 63.4% of statistics are made up on the spot.)

I'm pretty sure most diets do fail, though, on account of their requiring you to eat significantly smaller portions of cake - and, let's face it, that's a trade-off no one wants to make.

Still, for you foolhardy few trudging on in blatant defiance of Mother Nature, your genetics, and the Baskin Robbins large chocolate Oreo shake, here are some motivational visuals sure to make you lose your appetite, if not that spare tire.

Imagine semi-congealed cement. With a chaser of pond scum. And a dead, flattened snake.

Now, imagine washing that all down with a niiice, cold glass of milk.

Feeling motivated yet?

I bet this cake would taste really wet. And Reddi-Whip-ee. flowery.

This next one has a dual purpose: it will make you want to avoid cake and a career in proctology.

I have no words. And, frankly, the only thing that could follow this up would be...well, this:

(C'mon, bakers, really? Chocolate poo swirled icing AND strawberry syrup? Really?)

I feel I should warn you: this next cake will guarantee you'll never, EVER, want sprinkles again.

Well, at least not chocolate sprinkles. Yech.

And if you're still not convinced:

This is one hairy situation, guys. A very public, hairy situation. Not good.

Sometimes you don't need icing or sprinkles to Wreck a cake, though. Sometimes, all you need is a can of fruit filling.

I am never eating blueberries again.

Hannah C., Ellysa C., Cynthia M., Johanna., Julie & Chris B., Jessica G., & Julia S., with cakes like these, who needs Weight Watchers?

- Related Wreckage: I Think I'll Have the Salad Today

RSS Feed Update: Due to excessive internet thievery (boo, spam blogs!) I've finally had to pull the plug on our full RSS feed. We're still tinkering and experimenting with options, though, so please bear with us!

« Isn't It Ironic? Don't Ya Think? | Main | I Eat Terror For Breakfast »

Reader Comments (228)

the blueberries seriously look like someone swallowed the whole and then coughed them back up.... Ugh! I already hated blueberries, but this further cements that.... What is wrong with these people?!?!

January 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKellyGrrl

Oh. My. God. These are the nastiest cakes ever posted here for SURE. The watery blueberries . . . the pubic hair . . . ugh. But my favorite is the decorator's interpretation of what happened to the Garden of Eden after Adam and Eve were expelled. Looks like it turned into a pretty rough neighborhood.

Liz in Seattle

January 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Another vote to pleeeease bring back the full RSS feed!

January 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterErica

*runs screaming*

See? Very effective. Not only do I not eat the cake, I get exercise running away from it!

January 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMelissa (& Billy)

Aaaaaaand there goes my lunch appetite!

January 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterR.E. Wolf've shown some nasty cakes before, but this post literally made me vomit. Yuck City.

January 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterHope

Some of the yuckiest wrecks ever.


January 21, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterlisadh

I think I just threw up in my mouth a little

January 21, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterandygirl

Ew, is that last one supposed to be frog eggs or something?

WV: undiesp. Heh.

January 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

With the last one, I can see how it looks like caviar, but... my first thought was, "What the heck is in that petri dish?!"
Yum. Let's have science experiments for dessert. :P

January 21, 2010 | Unregistered Commentergirlnblack77

Yep pretty sure I'm not going to want to eat anything for the rest of the day now.

January 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMiriam @ Blondepoodle

Well this killed the cake craving, but now it's been replaced with a cupcake craving *goes off to look at bad CCC's*

January 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterThe Black Dog

Yuck, yuck, extra yuck.

January 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMrs. Fix

Hi there,

I am very disappointed about you taking the full RSS feed down, I enjoy the quick break at work, without having to load the full page.

January 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJenn

Am I the only one that thinks that those bluberries look like wet rabbit poop?!

WV: reealc; the sound you make when you hurl after seeing these cakes!

January 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTamara Mitchell

Booo on the RSS thieves.

I think the first cake is actually really well done. Look at the details of the forest! I bet it was done for a boy who has a snake. I could see boys who are SO tired of girly cakes with "blue flowers" for boys just diving into that one. I bet the boy told his mother she was the best mother ever!

January 21, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterspottheblogger

Those cakes made me nauseous. I was eating a bowl of cereal and suddenly feel sick.

January 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterRayli

The first thing I thought when seeing the proctology cake was "What What In The Butt" and now I can't get that song out of my head!! (google it)

I Heart the rat poo cake. It's wrecky but FUNNY! My family has always had pet rats and I've worked with a local Rat rescue and adoption agency here recently. I think this cake would be great for one of their events!! I'll also have to remember that cake for my Sis's birthday. Rats are her favorite animal.

January 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDawnspring

I gave you a Happy 101 award :) Thanks for your amazing cake posts!

January 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterM + D

Sendingtheclowns: I've made one of those Litter Box Cakes before. I brought it to work for a Halloween party and it was a huge hit. Two of the guys were even fighting over the tootsie roll 'poo'!

I guess it just has to do with people's senses of humor and what they find gross. I actually don't think any of today's Wrecks gross. (What's gross to me are the preggo torsos and sonogram baby shower cakes. I cannot fathom why anyone would want a slice of C-Section cake!)

January 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDawnspring

I've read your book.

I've read your blog.

I've never felt compelled to actually leave a comment until now:

That is the most epic bloody poop cake I have ever seen.


January 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Would everyone just shut up about the missing RSS feed? It's one extra click! And if you don't like it because you don't have access at work, shame on you for using work time to surf the web.

January 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTeague

"A very public, hairy situation"
Didn't you mean to say "pubic"?! Heh.

January 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTrenches of Mommyhood

You know, the hairy cake reminds me of the scene from "American Wedding." you know the one--when he shaves his privates and shakes the bath mat out the window, and the hair gets sucked in through the kitchen exhaust fan--all over the cake.


btw, I guess it's easier to eat the cake if you get a slice of it without having to see where it came from/what it looked like before.

January 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Okay, this one takes the cake for me ... take my portion, please ... ugh! :-)

January 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Those blueberries remind me of the Chinese pearl drink. The tapioca pearls that they add to the bottom of your beverage. Ha ha ha.

January 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLinders

I'm thinking that colon surgery went really, really wrong.

wv- ungaffi: an attempt to take back a truly wrong-headed cake wreck.

January 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

pass the bucket.


thanks, all bett... oh, wait, nope...


I think... Oh. No. It just keeps happening!

Seriously some of the grossest cakes I've ever seen. Snot rocket blueberries. Yum.

January 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBek

Oh man, those are the most disgusting cakes I've ever seen. Even grosser than the poo cakes you featured not too long ago.

With some wrecks, I can see what the wreckerator was going for, with these? Not. A. Clue.

These will haunt my dreams, to be sure.

January 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSiriusSchwartz


yikes! those are vile.

The top one looks like its used real stones, and its brown/black under the green.

the only saving grace was that the lice/pubes one was a very tiny picture :)

I adore this site, plus its somehow inspired me to try baking.


January 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTheGood

Guess no one ever told the wreckorator that "public hair should not be pubic." Or vice versa.

And has anyone ever ordered blueberry pancakes and they hand you plain pancakes covered in pie filling instead? That was only half as disgusting as that last cake, and I think that's really saying something.

January 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Dawnspring: I am a professional decorator and have made my share of litter box cakes as well at customers' requests. If people stand around saying "Oh, gross...", then I know I've done my job of creating a realistic cake, and earned the money I was paid. There are rarely any leftovers, either :)
And in defense of decorators, while there is no excuse for a truly bad decorating job, we can't be held totally responsible for the content of cakes. We provide a service and while I might try to guide my customers in a better direction if their taste is questionable, they are ultimately paying me and they get what they want...even if it is a plastic rat and rat poo sprinkles :)

January 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

looking forward to you fixing your RSS feed. 'cause I just don't click through.

January 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJJ Sobey

Truly disgusting display today; kudos! FYI, your photos are not showing up in my RSS feed; don't know if you made changes or not, but thought I'd let you know.

January 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAlison

Good LORD! Did someone sneeze out those blueberries? I hope it's not the same person who had the giant bloody poop. Get thee to a physician, pronto.

January 21, 2010 | Unregistered Commentermrs. q.

The cutting off of the RSS feed makes me sad, as it was my favourite way of getting my daily dose of wreckage... but, ultimately, you've gotta do what's best for the site and for yourselves.

As to the wrecks... that second one looks kinda like a mutant, drooling toffee sponge...

January 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The second cake looks very much like a treacle sponge pudding and they are scrumptious.

January 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Add me to the list of people who don't particularly like having to click through to get to the page. I prefer the RSS feed because it is cleaner -- no background graphics, no sidebar graphics, no header graphics, no comments -- just the post content -- and that makes it easier to read and less likely to trigger a migraine.

January 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterErin

As a dyed-in-the-wool New Englander, I have to say this. Those are not blueberries. Those are bloated, cultivated monstrosities. Blueberries are the size of peas and have more flavor than water. [/snob]

That said, I don't want to eat any of the other ones either. Well done, Jen.

WV: isold -- I'd have to say that the frosting on that snake cake isold.

January 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterRobin

Holy cow! ROF...the rat cake took the well...cake! YUCKCKCKCKCK

January 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMaria

omg, this is some collection here.
love, love this blog. keep up the good and the disgusting coming. I do love those beautiful cakes and yes, I love those wrecks, too.

in this post, there was one 'l' (letter L) too much in 'public hair' - just to increase the yikes factor, y'all.

January 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSzélsőFa

Wow...I just have no words. Okay, yes I do. WHAT were the poo cakes SUPPOSED to be? E-gad!

AmyM in NC

January 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

wow. The horror is almost too much for me to even comprehend right now.

January 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSabrina

@anonymous @ 11:08 AM
Calling Jen stupid is not cool. not cool at all.

@anonymous @ 11:54
Jen explained the RSS change in the post. Blame the thieves, not the authors. It's really not that difficult to open a browser page after you get the feed letting you know it is posted.

@all anonymi:
complaining and not signing your name is cowardly and reduces your credibility.

January 21, 2010 | Unregistered Commentermichael

I thought the first was someone's idea of a cake for vegetarians - I see cauliflower and broccoli and a nice slice of red pepper. And loved the "man on the moon" cake!

January 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterWATERBABY CHRISTINE

Wait, will that mean that my bookmark will no longer work?

January 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterE.M. Green

Ok, so i'm pretty sure i'm the only one who thought of anal beads when she saw the decoration around the ass cake.

January 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterWendy

Awww, Leslie.
I have pet rats and I thought the rat cake was cute. Why is it not as cute with a rattie? Admittedly, that's not a very cute fake rat. ;)

I made my old roomie cupcakes that were pink iced with pink sugar sprinkles topped with little sculpted marzipan rats! They were so cute. :)

January 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMelissa

*gag* Cake number is the exact reason why i hated (and still do) being forced to eat veggies during dinner

January 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

It's not often that I'm glad to be gluten-intolerant, and therefore unable to eat most cakes ...

Thanks for showing me the silver lining, Jen!

January 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterRiley

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