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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Thursday
Jan282010

Unexcepted Seamen

Ahh, there's nothing like unintentionally inappropriate greetings at the bakery!

Hey, you put a giant dog bone on your cake, you're going to get a few Freudian slips.

For the new mom coming home with the baby:

Guys, here's a tip: subliminal messages work better in audio.


Of course, when you're actually trying for something a little risque, you can count on a Wreckerator to botch that up, too:

This was supposed to say "unexpected semen."

Aw, you couples and your pet names for each other! You're just so gosh darn cute.


Megan N., Alana Q., & Anony M., in the spirit of this post I'm sending you a wholly inappropriate (but mercifully virtual) butt-slap each right now. Great job!

- Related Wreckage: Inappropriate, Much?

UPDATE: I'm told that the last cake was from a hubby to his wife, and that she was an accidental pregnancy. So yes, it was an inside joke gone wrong, but I think she still found it funny. That's all I know! Promise!

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Reader Comments (63)

Maybe that's supposed to read "unexceptional" semen? There's a lot of that in the world. Sometimes it grows up to decorate cakes. :P

January 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Ha ha. I actually read the first cake as "Dog Gone Day" and wondered what was so wrecky about it. Ha. Thanks to the comments, I figured out my error!

January 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterErica

I stumbled across your blog today. I haven't laughed this hard since I found Regretsy. HILLARIOUS. Keep it up!

January 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterThomas, Katie, & Eden

The third one makes me think of this:

There’s seamen in the entryway
And seamen on the stair
And worst of all, there’s even seamen
In me underwear

There’s some behind the larder
And beneath the table, too
I do believe your seamen
Got into me Irish stew

There’s seamen here in front of me
And seamen in the rear
My God—there’s even seamen
Hanging from the chandelier

(from 'The Captain's Wife's Lament' by Paul and Storm)

--Angela

January 29, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterangelabrett

funny Wrecks... I enjoyed them.

January 29, 2010 | Unregistered Commentersheril

Inside joke or not, that's just disgusting on a cake.

January 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKathy

For some reason I find the football worm poop cupcakes the most disturbing a close second would be the ugly cloud football

January 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLauren Borquez

maybe the cake was instructing the guests on the best way to greet Margaret when she arrived at the party.

January 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSugar Mama NYC

Even if the 1st cake DID say have a Dog Gone Day, WHO wants a cake that says that?! What was the baker thinking and who did they think would buy it? My guess: people wanting giant dog heads as key chains...wait a second...giant dog heads...dog dong...giant bone...somethings wrong here.

January 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I think the inside joke gone wrong was a blessing in disguise. It would have been much worse with the intended "unexpected semen" on it!!!

January 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

"I'm told that the last cake was from a hubby to his wife, and that she was an accidental pregnancy. ..."

Wait a minute, so this guy's pet name for his wife is "Unexpected Semen"???
That's pretty disturbing.
If I were the cake decorator, I wouldn't believe that, either.

"Unexcepted Seamen" would actually be better.

January 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterGary

Well maybe the kid will be in the navy.

February 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

That was exceptional.

Aren't there more, I dunno... *appropriate* ways of reminding someone that they were a 'surprise'? Is that something a person is likely to forget / needs to remember?

Or perhaps Haley had been away for, you know, quite a while and the cake was ordered by phone... And the wreckerator's idea of tact was to leave the 'oops' out... Though that doesn't explain 'unexcepted' for 'unexpected'.

True tact would have been to say, "Why don't you call back in a few minutes and we'll try this again."

August 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

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