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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Tuesday
Oct262010

Going Through a Rough Patch

It's the quintessential symbol of Halloween: the Jack-O-Lantern. Fortunately, it's also one of the easiest designs for a baker to make. Just take one round cake, ice it in orange, add a cartoony face, and...voilá!

AAAEEIII!!

Er. Heh, sorry. Let's try that again.

Voila!

That's...not a cake.


[rolling up sleeves] Voila!

Is that...plastic?

Cheater.



Voila!

A Pumpkin Poo-nicorn. Well. That's a first.


[through gritted teeth] Voi-la.


What the...what IS that? Come on, seriously, there's no way you could make this thing look less like a pumpkin!

Allow me to retract that last statement.


Knock, knock.

Well? Orange you glad I didn't say "voila?"

Hm. Maybe the problem lies in trying to make the whole cake look like a pumpkin. Maybe if the baker just drew a pumpkin ON the cake...

[blinking]

Um...

[more blinking]

Voila!



Dorota, Carra M., Melody N., Shanna T., Andrew M., Ted, Donny & Amanda, Kaitlin K., & T.A., don't ask me; I'm going with "abstract jack-o-lantern."

« This Is Halloween. (No, Really.) | Main | All Hallow's Wrecks »

Reader Comments (124)

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Pumpkin Poo-nicorn! It doesn't get any better than that!

October 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMarcy W.

Actually I really liked the first two cakes. Sure, they don't look like pumpkins at all, but they do look Halloween-ish and they're rather cute.

The other cakes were indeed complete wreckies.

October 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBluefairy

Oh. My. Those last two make me feel dirty.

October 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

hahaha! The next to last one has "poopkins" on it! I was waiting for you to say that!!

October 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterStaceyLeigh

I wasn't going to post a comment, but my WV was "diast"; as in "those cakes are diasterous" (did I spell it right? ;-)

October 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

"Pumpkin Poo-nicorn" made me laugh waaaay too hard. Thank you!

October 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterThe Lunar Fox

Thank you for all the laughs. My hubby and I love it!

October 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

That last cake looks more like orange vulvas were drawn on.... perhaps its their Snookie-o-Lantern cake?

October 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

so i'm not the only one who thought that last cake looks like it might have been a rendition of a series of ladies in the stirrups. good to know it's not just me.

wv: rerche - some of those cakes are so bad i had to go rerche. pass the disinfecting wipes.

October 26, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterkater

*dying laughing, brb*

October 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterM.D. Rhodes

OH MY! That was a good one today!! thank you for the laugh!! I snorted too, just not at work!!!

October 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMonica

You keep using that word "voila." I do not think it means what you think it means.

October 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterWendy

I shall take the idea of a ballad for the poo-nicorn...and run with it!! Silly,whimsical (but also serious!:) couplets will be here within the next few days!!!

October 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSarah

POO-NICORN?? *diez and iz ded*

*resurrects* CCCs gussied up as mutant gourds of dubious ancestry? PTOOOIE!!

October 26, 2010 | Unregistered Commentermorriganscrow

@Mary, ummmm that last one is a little....shall we say....feminine. Ah-hem. Moving on, yes, please ;) .

October 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Have to say I kinda like the frowny one towards the end. But the others... sheesh!

October 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTSJ

Now I know why there is a reason I hated carving Jack-o-lanterns. I could have had a less dangerous time just slapping icing on a cake--any cake.
True story:
Several years ago I had a call at the library reference desk asking how to spell fu-ella. Stumped, I asked if she could put it in a sentence.
"Sure. The caterpillar made a cocoon and fu-ella--it's a butterfly."
Ah, yes! Voila! I can spell it for you.

October 26, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterdrgns4vr

Oh my goodness! I love this blog, but have never commented before, but I had to seeing as how my 18-month old daughter started pointing to her bottom and saying, "bootie! bootie!" when I got to the last picture. Hilarious!

October 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda

The first cake looks kind of like a Goron from Legend of Zelda
http://www.zelda-gc.com/dossiers/races/gorons/gorons1

See, they could be...distant cousins twice removed?

October 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterThe Mocha Monster

Oh gosh! Pumpkin Poo-Nicorn! I LOL'ed at that one! I just can't imagine what they are thinking when decorating these things?!?

DK @ http://sweetsbyd.blogspot.com/

October 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKritterBugg

I think you have a new mascot: the Pumpkin Poo-nicorn!

It can duel with Carrot Jockey for supremacy.

October 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterNicole

I kind of like #7, the "angry face" pumpkin. If my cake cracked like that, I'd have that expression on my face, too.

October 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCervus

my son said the fourth one looked like a guy with a drill in his head

October 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I showed this to my aunt and her response was, "Oh My God, those are being sold??? This makes me want to go bake a cake." I think you have another fan:)

October 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMegan

Did anyone else have the pear tree unveiling flashback from the last cake here?

God help us all.

October 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMissNay

I HAVE to figure out a way to use poo-nicorn in everyday conversation. Just too funny! Thanks!

October 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Those last ones look like prostates.

October 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterThe Royal Buffington's

Actually, that first one is pretty cool...

October 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I *LOVE* these! Your site always makes me laugh (usually in the library, out loud, and then everyone looks at me funny...)

Also, you give me hope that I can definitely find work as a cake decorator, because I certainly can't do any *worse* than these...not without trying, anyway :)

October 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterStinkerBelle74

all are awful, though there is one if it were supposed to be an orrange, it would be ok

what really funny is that i bet they all taste great

October 26, 2010 | Unregistered Commentertinypurpleelephant

I laughed 'till I cried while reading the post, then I laughed 'till I cried all over again as I read the comments.

October 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterILZE

Poo-Nicorn! I almost peed my pants reading the caption!

The last cake looks a little like an outline of some female parts...hmmm...

October 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDanielle

Poo-nicorn? omg that is perhaps one of the funniest things I have read on-line. ever.

I love your sight. a novice decorator, it gives bolsters my confidence :)

October 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMago

I would like to know what that first cake was eating to make the "blood" drops

Bethe

October 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBethe

Dear lord, have any of those people ever seen a pumpkin?

October 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The last one looks like sliced tomatoes. :)

October 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKeisha

#7 looks like Meatwad.

October 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterChasing The Dog

I agree that the first one looks like it was well done, except for, you know, missing the mark and creeping me out. But it would have been nice.

The last one is just disturbing. I'm sure THAT wrecorator was stoned. Or should be. With ccc 'stones'.

October 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAngie

hahahaha! this may be one of my favorites yet! and not that this is the worst offense, but what's with the pumpkin with three noses across its face? or was it three rosy cheek blushes? oh dear...poor pumpkin-creature.

October 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I would totally buy the one with the crack in it...if it didn't have a crack in it. Otherwise, it's freakin' adorable!

October 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterElisabeth

Okay, the poonicorn alone makes this my all time favorite post, but the comments are also cracking me up.

@Bad Karma!
Best use of wv EVER. Thank you for the laughs! (Or better put, danke schön!)

October 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterShalmeno

Would love to yell Abracadabra and turn the wreckerators into these horrific "pumpkin" things. But then all of us would have to run and hide from the evil unleashed lol. Man Halloween really gets me.. weirder than usual.

October 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

What is #2 made of anyway? (yeah, I know, #2 - ha ha!) I'm guessing corned beef hash.

WV: lopowine. No snarky comment, just funny.

October 27, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterpikkewyntjie

I didn't realize ATHF's Meatwad was a pumpkin cake.

October 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMaru

I laughed so hard my coffee came out my nose. I actually sprayed the screen when I read the Pumpkin Poo-nicorn :)

October 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterNoortje

number 1 looks like Paul Stanley (In full Kiss make-up) after he had a bad reaction to some shell fish.

October 27, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterjulie

The last "cake" looked like it was decorated with "female parts" seen in abstract. and the poo-nicorn cake is just twisted. I do like the pissed off pumpkin cake. looks like he is DARING you to eat him.

October 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTravelGoddess

Pooh-nicorn!!

Hilarious.

October 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAlly Copper

Delicious cake!!

October 27, 2010 | Unregistered Commentersweet

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