My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Down With EPP!

Friends, countrypersons, cake lovers.

Today I come to you on a matter of grave concern. (And no, I don't mean that one.)

You all know of my longstanding stance on that most unholy of creations; the cupcake cake. [patooie!] Well, friends, today I bring a new acronym upon which I must heap disdain and revile-attude of such revulsion that I actually had to make up a word just to describe it.

That acronym?


And it stands for...

Edible Photo Printing.



No, not Hannah Montana. (Although there are times...)


A hat...wearing a guy?


I don't even...


Ok, you have GOT to be...


Excuse me, are you done?

Sound guy: Um. Yeah.

'Cause I'll wait.

Sound guy:
No no, please. Continue.

You're sure.

Sound guy: Yeah, yeah, we're good!

[meaningful glare]

Sound guy: [innocent smile]

Alright. Now then, as I was say....


Thanks to Grace W., Dana W., (not related) Silvia C., Lara K., Kelli, and of course my favorite Wreckporter, Jo...


« For Your Consedration | Main | Instant ManlinessĀ®!!! »

Reader Comments (114)

There are just no words for some of those.

October 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterHolly Denghel

But - what if I totally want a cake with a picture of a guy staring down my cleavage???

October 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSandye

Makes me lose my appetite. Besides being ugly, I don't think I want to eat the image of someone I know.

WV: frivela --- these EPP cakes are just frivela and should be baned.

October 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDonkaloosa

I know for a fact that vampire guy drives a schoolbus.
In Teaneck,NJ.

October 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterZazoo

Really I am speechless. Wow! I cringed a little remembering the one time I purchased a photo cake. For my husbands birthday I had his photo put on the top of the cake. Sadly, it scared my little 3 year old and he refused to eat any of Dad's face. He was a little terrified of the CAKE!

October 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterWendy

And here I thought the Hannah Montana cake was a better likeness than her singing!

October 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDonna

As always, Jen, it's your commentary that really has me rolling today! Hilarious doesn't do today's post justice! XD

But beyond that, you HAVE to be kidding me, right?! WHAT are these people thinking?!

Of course, that being said, *hangs head in shame* I actually think the one with Robert Pattinson is hilarious!

October 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBakingdom

Ooh... bad, bad, bad.
But I am wondering.... where DO those sound guys learn that innocent smile?

October 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterFluffy Cow

aaaahhhhhh!!!! My first scrapbook pages, awful as they were, were better than that hideous wedding cake?

What were they THINKING????

October 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda Mac

Um, is that bottom one supposed to be a wedding cake? Are those shots of the happy couple through the years? What, what? Oh, Good Lord, deliver us!

October 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLady Anne

The last one is fantastic! I couldn't think of a situation where such a cake might apply - but if one ever comes up I'm going to run with it...

October 6, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterskinner studio

OMG. these have to be some of the worst cakes I have ever seen. #2-I had to go back a few times to figure out it is a guy's face peeking through a hole in a sombrero. What???

And that last cake, I was thinking this was a wannabe scrapbooker trying to show the family her mad skills at a family party! "Wait-I'll do the cake and boy, will YOU be surprised!!"

Jen and co... Luv ya bunches!!


October 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSandy also in Fla

There are times when EPP isn't bad, honestly. It CAN be well done. no, really. That said....

these are NOT examples of that. In the slightest!

October 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTrevor

I did NOT know that was a hat... It still confuses me, even knowing what it is now. Some bakers know nothing of crunch! Err, I mean perspective.

October 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJenni

ACK!! Someone asked me to make a cake with EPP the other day and I said.... NO! Which was nicer than what I was thinking. These are too funny!

You down with EPP (Yeah you know me)
Who's down with EPP (Every last homie)

mesto- "They made a mesto them cakes"

October 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The hat wearing a guy cracks me up!

October 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterA Girl In Her Kitchen

I just need to use the word verification, since it totally describes those cakes: poodurey.

I need to put some guy staring at my cleavage!
No! It's poodurey!

October 6, 2010 | Unregistered Commentermimi

Hannah is busting out all over and such a little head to boot! Really people, a full pic, or nothing at all. Wait. Then we wouldn't have cake wrecks...carry on!

October 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterStella

The RPatz/Twilight one actually is kinda cracking me up.

October 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAlison

The Twilight guy one photoshopped to be staring at the neck of the birthday girl...okay staring at the NECK. The NECK.

Sure it's not what Vampire Boy seems to be staring at but let's just pretend, okay?

Anyway, it's kinda funny.

October 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMary Connealy

Um.. does the top of that sombrero look like.. um.. anything in particular to anyone else?

Ok,, getting my mind out of the gutter.

My mom's 80th birthday cake had an edible photo of her nekkid bum baby picture. It was actually sorta cute, but of course everyone cut around the butt and wouldn't eat it. hehehehe..

October 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous


It's like cake versions of the pain: "wallowing in freakish misery forever."

October 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJoanna

Personally, though I think the tween heartthrob from Twilight looks delicious, I'm not particularly inclined to eat him. I assume his noble blood-sucking character would do the courtesy of the same towards me, and go feed on a cake with a rabbit on it instead.

October 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTamara Marnell

OH MY! I'm glad ytou told me that was a sombrero......cause it totaly looks like it couls have used a smiley face to cover it up like the cake a few weeks ago.
CW Fan

October 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Horrible!!!! And the last one is the worst!! Although I do think the one with Edward is pretty funny! =)

October 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMichelle S

I don't think I've ever before really considered the emotional damage that the two of you risk on a daily basis. Here we of the internet audience sit, enjoying carefully meted doses of wreckiness and the ameliorating effects of witty commentary and/or sound effects. But you guys have no such luxury-- stuff like this floods your inbox daily, with no witty buffers or warnings of what lies ahead. An e-mail may contain a relatively innocuous sperm balloon or a run-of-the-mill butchering of "Congratulations"...or it may contain something far more sinister, like a really, really, creepy Miley Cyrus shrunken head.

You are to be deeply commended for your bravery. And your therapists deserve commendation too, because I'll bet this stuff prompts some weird discussions. :)


October 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Giant cookie? Check. Undersized copyrighted image? Check. Edible ink? Meh, it'll do...

October 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBrooke

Call me crazy but I've seen EPP's done well and I could really see a cute wedding cake coming out of that! Maybe the engagement picture on the top side and then the bride and groom figurine on the very top. You're have to have a very photogenic couple though.

October 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAngela


October 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterFlartus

Is that Twilight guy looking down that lady's shirt? Or is he just going to bite her in a second? I can't figure it out...

October 6, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterpostmommy

I kinda like the sombrero cake - it cracks me up.

October 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous


October 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDD

I thought the Twilight/Photoshop/EPP was great IF it was meant to be funny. If so, being an EPP makes it even funnier. If they weren't trying to be funny, well that's just a whole 'nother session of therapy.

October 6, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterdrumnate

I'm not down with EPP (yeah you know me!)

Just keepin' it real. :)

October 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJean Bean

Apparently Hannah Montana has microcephaly. That could explain quite a lot.

And if the Twilight one isn't bad enough, it's also printed backwards (check the writing on the bus).

October 6, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterkayk

I suppose I'm only reaffirming my status as a preschool mom by saying this, but your DUN DUN DUNNNNs reminded me of this Sesame Street clip from a couple years ago:" rel="nofollow">Law and Order: Special Letters Unit.


October 6, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterabi

Is it just me or is Miley Cyrus's head WAY TOO SMALL for that body? As if that was the only thing wrong with it.....

October 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

First, I LOVE the sound guy.

Second -- **sigh** Twi-moms. **sigh** An entire coven of cougars. **sigh** *shaking head*

If I picture is worth a thousand words, I think these just screamed my last novella.


October 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

It's hard to maintain a sense of proportion with some of these wrecks, especially #1. Really puts things in perspective, doesn't it.

From there, we could segue into perspective of another sort, such as the whole 'giant boobs on a cake for a 9-year-old' thing, except that there appears to be only one and it seems to be located just above the tummy area. That makes it ok. OY!

October 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

My Mom, handing the bakery girl a photo of a gorgeous red Ferarri: "And put this picture on the top. It's for my daughter's sixteenth birthday."

"You're getting her THAT car?!"

"No, just the cake."

Thanks Mom. Love you too. At least the cake was tasty.

October 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMel V.

The R.Pats EPP is funny. I kinda want one with my photo in his grasp.

October 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnna

Oh my gosh, I was busting up at the Photoshopped picture of Edward Cullen and the random woman. I'm still laughing...

October 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBecky

Oh, my, Hanna Montana has grown. Her head hasn't, though.

October 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterGary

jen, Jen, JEN (hand in air waving frantically)!!! I need to know something really important, Jen! If we always spit after the mention or sight of a dread CCC (patooie!), what must we do at the sight of an EPP? Snorts, fur ball noises, growls, weird fart-y sounds with the armpit?? Inquiring minds want to know....

( I like to get my disgust etiquette Just Right.)

thank you, Terrell

October 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterNiteNurse

Aww, there's no sparkles on the Twilight cake!

I am disappoint.

October 6, 2010 | Unregistered Commenteruldihaa

that edible photo paper is scary to cut into. like a skin!

meanwhile, I love the Julius Caesar reference! and the scary cakes. Hannah put on some pounds. the sombrero dude looks like he's being chased by a giant alien thing about to eat him (the blue thing would be the mouth. or squirmy tentacle like body)

Edible photo paper on a cookie? seriously, wreckerator? you know they use photo paper too much at that bakery, considering how green that printout is. toner's going, people!

the Twilight cake is just scary. seriously, lady? you're that into young vampires that you photoshopped him with his arm around you? and you're old enough to be his mom?? meanwhile, is he checking out her boobs or what looks like a raw steak in her hand?

I'm going to a family reunion next week and they did ask for pictures. I'm hoping they don't stick them in icing to a faux wedding cake. Scary! (but if they do, I'll send you a picture!)

October 6, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterjo

GAH!!! That last one ... GAH!!!

October 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterFlea

You know never have I looked at a cake and though you know what this needs to taste better......Paper! Oh and the ones with printed heads and cake bodies *shudders* ummmm no!

October 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMamakitty1978

Those... are pretty bad...

October 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDaniel

The key to doing EPP right is to have the image NOT be a person...I cheated and did EPP for my brother's graduation cakes because he wanted the college seal and the mascot (Illinois State University Redbirds anyone??) and I know I can't pipe good enough for that...the EPP was definitely the way to go...

October 6, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterkristina

PostPost a New Comment

Enter your information below to add a new comment.
Author Email (optional):
Author URL (optional):
Some HTML allowed: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <code> <em> <i> <strike> <strong>