My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

No Offense

Since our posts here on CW invariably manage to offend someone - carrot lovers, grammar Nazis, Canadians - we've decided that *today's* commentary won't be offensive to anyone. Literally. In fact, it's going to be SO inoffensive that I'm trying not to fall asleep as I type thikjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj

Huh? What? Where am I? Oh, yeah, non-offensive.

I forgot to mention that I'll be randomly choosing cakes from our archives, so there's really no telling what cakes we'll end up with. Rest assured that the commentary will be completely inoffensive, though. Promise.

Okay, here goes. Our first cake is #4,312:

"Hey-o! Are those supposed to be balloons, or, like, what?"

Huh, this inoffensive stuff is easy! Nothing to it.

Okay, next we have cake #245...

Hm. Inoffensive. Okay. "Boy, oh boy! What a fine, upstanding reputable bird that is! I salute pay respect to the baker who came up with imagined this design! That's not a peacock, is it?"

Alright, so this is kind of hard difficult. I'm sure I'll do better on the next one, though.

Cake #8,062:

[biting lip] Uh. Hang on.

[looks up e-mail]

Well, according to Stetson here, this is actually a bakery display in Colombia. [drumming fingers] Hm. Oh! I know: "Hey, was this decorated by gorillas or something?"

Yeah, I think I'm hitting my stride again. No *way* I'm going to offend anyone with that.


Cake #4,207:

[crickets chirping]




Okay, last one. [Shaking digital dice] C'mon, inoffensive!

Cake #2,093:

I give up.

Denise, Lisa M., Stetson J., Brindy W., Karin D., & Megan C., if you're still reading this, thanks. I think.

« What Happens in Vegas... | Main | For Your Consedration »

Reader Comments (163)

The Nazi cake IS offensive~can't believe any reputable baker would agree to that!
The Turkey/Peacock/Penis with feathers cake was VERY..uh..."interesting!"
Love love LOVE your website!

October 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterProtojew62

too freakin funny....people are crazy....I look forward to looking at these...I figure if you don't know what you are doing yet you do it anyway for people to see, then it deserves to be laughed at....

October 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMsChanda

The Swastika cake is okay. Its not tilted. Straight up and down its an old symbol for good luck.

October 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterWes


You know...

OFF-ENDED as in turned on my end...

...because I fell OFF my chair LAUGHING!

Jen, I know you've read this a thousand times already I'm sure, but don't change, don't stress the 3 people that decided they didn't want to laugh daily anymore, their loss. I mean, really, 3 people compared to the hundreds-NO-THOUSANDS who read your blog. You have a disclaimer, if they can't read it, then.. they...are..em.. illiterate? yea. That's it.


P.S: Is it just me or did anyone else look at the columbia cake and go "What? That flame thing coming out from between the guys legs?" and didn't blink at the fact it's a Guerrilla cake?

WV: Cente - I cente chair flying when I was off-ended laughing at your post!
Miss Mina

October 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMiss Mina

I think I've been hypnotized by the turkey/peafowl cake. Can't seem to look away...

October 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

There's a bakery near me called "Kathy's Kreative Kakes." I wonder if they made those cupcakes?

(Excuse me, kupkakes.)

October 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDaisy

How can you post Mel Brooks themed wrecks without offending someone? The Nazi flag would have been the perfect cake for the cast party for The Producers, and the ghosts cup cakes make me think of that scene in Blazing Saddles where Sheriff Bart and the Waco Kid infiltrate Hedley Lamar's recruitment line.

I was once in the tech crew for a community theatre production of The Sound Of Music at the local Jewish Center. Come intermission, all the smokers of the cast rushed outside for a cigarette. Nothing like seeing hoardes of nuns and nazis catching a smoke outside the Jewish center.

October 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJeff

"Nein, you dumbkopf! Mein swastika is the wrong way around!"

...or maybe that was just a throwing-star design for a ninja-themed birthday.

October 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterD.B. Echo

The Swastika cake is ok, as long as the buyers got what they wanted. It's actually done pretty well. In fact, except for the first two cakes, all the other ones are rather fine. Sure, the cakes' themes might seem in poor taste, but that's not the baker's fault.

October 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBluefairy

This post is offensive to narcoleptics. Especially dyslexic neo-Nazi Canadian narcoleptics. Probably not your core demographic.

October 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterR.

Why are you trying SO hard not to offend anyone? I find that very offensive!! ;)

October 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJenniffer

I understand why we can't offend the birds (they can be mean!), but why can't we offend guerrillas again?

October 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Dear Jen, John and company,

Please hire Das.

The post was funny...but I about cried when I read it again through Das's eyes.

Wreck on!

October 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

That was fabulous. Dying laughing. Thanks for a great post!

October 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJennyF

o. ma. gawd. A turkey with man-boobs.

October 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCutelilsnot

This was an hilarious post, that had me in stitches after a long, hard (oops, sorry), day.
I am amazed that it seems not to have occurred to anyone other than me that the picture of the swastika cake was merely posted backwards?

Keep up the fun and games, guys!
Even the comments are uplifting oops, sorry again. I especially like the one about the "swastiks-orientation" Too cute!

October 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

As Ricky Nelson once sang in "Garden Party", " can't please everyone, so you might as well please yourself"... words to live by. Especially in the CakeWrecking blogging business.

Wreck on! I've yet to be offended by ANYthing you've posted.

Merry from Annie's Book Stop

WV: debes - Jen and John have debes blog on the interwebs!

October 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

On the swastika, in that orientation (fits in a square, not a diamond) it is the symbol Hitler TOOK the swastika from -- the Chinese symbol for power. He ruined it, but that symbol was absolutely harmless and benign before he did. It remains innocuous in Chinese ancient cultural themes but probably doesn't belong on a cake because of misinterpretation.

October 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

As a Canadian, I'm offended!

Kidding :)

You did that post really well - I kept smiling a's they got harder to keep PC.

Have a great weekend ...

October 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterRooh

I'm Canadian & this site is too much fun to be offended about any of it. What a great post, Nazis, drunk babies & little KKK ghosties, hey, what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, love it!

October 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCan't See Sheep

@Jeff-- nuns and nazis outside a JCC? love the mental image. Thanks for the guffaw.

@NAS -- now that's a brilliant ordering of the cakes for a conventional CW story line (ie if Jen wasn't trying to not offend they hypersensitive readers out there who've probably already left).

Love how on this blog, so many people know about the origins of the swastika, can tell it wasn't oriented correctly on the cake, and can launch into a debate about whether that was an error or not-- all without a single questionable hint of an opinion (ditto for the ghost/KKK cupcakes, which I suspect are meringues-- best comment there is about the cupcakes being chocolate)

October 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAliza

Choking... on... laughter...

October 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda

I love this blog and it's had me LOL more than once, but this time I got a guffaw out of Wendy P's term of "Kluxcakes." AHAHAHAHA!!!

October 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterElizabeth

I don't know who made the swastika cake, but was anyone else reminded of the family who named their child "Adolph Hitler Lastname" and couldn't find a bakery that would make him a birthday cake?

Who "saved" the day? Oh yes, the source of all things Klassy...WalMart!

WV = quipbola

Jen was affected by a severe quipbola infection and it stole all of her usual wit.

October 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCynthia

I had to laugh at the KKK cakes. The shops have started stocking Christmas decorations, and I saw som white porcelain Santa Clauses with hats, sans bobbles, that stood straight up. First time I've ever seen Klansmorons in Australia :D

@Shadow and all the sauvastika people - it's a swavastepcot.

@Daisy - does she make KupKake Kakes?

@Jen and John - you guys are awesome, brilliant, funny, and people who are that easily offended have no business being on teh interwebs in the first place. They probably get their knickers in a knot at the bad spelling on icanhascheezburger. They'll probably be terribly upset at my use of the word "knickers." Try not to let them get to you, so many of us love you.

October 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterWolverine Girl

I find this post highly insulting to heritage turkey breeders. Anyone can see that cake #245 is clearly not a peafowl, but an adolescent broad-breasted bronze tom. As if the public does not already have disastrous misconceptions about these fascinating creatures, now we must contend with ignorance of the cake and icing variety. Shame on you and your tasty, tasty propaganda.

...Did I win an internets?

October 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

you *totally* just offended narcoleptics everywhere! shame on you! That was hilarious...

October 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterFreya

Cake # 4,207 -- just asking... is that blood on the floor behind the baby beer bottle pistol?

btw - love the 'difficult' turkey.


October 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

So, the ones in the last photo are going to be made into a KKK CCC?

October 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJennifer

ugh.. why is the first one wet...

October 8, 2010 | Unregistered Commentertiny purple elephant


Babies, booze, handguns and ARGYLE!! How offensive can you get- do you know how many argyles died to make that cake! Irresponsible- that’s what you are!!!

BTW, was this “the best defense is no offense” thinking on your part??

-Barbara Anne

OMG- my verification word is "pulsenag" (as in: if you have a pulse nag Jen & John)

October 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The pedant in me says that there is a difference between ghost cakes and KKK cakes: ghosties have a cute little curl on their quiff. At least, according to Ghostbusters they do...

She (yes, the pedant is a she) also says to Andy at 3.16pm: Did the lack of a "u" html tag prevent you from putting in the" rel="nofollow">underline? Or were you going for the even more minimalist version, the "single full stop"?

Hopefully she's out of my system now. Thankyou for another hilarious post!

October 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I so needed a good laugh!

October 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBnE's Mommy

LOL that was funny as heck.

October 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMary

Canadians don't get offended...and if we do, we apologize

October 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterThe Wildman

I can't stop laughing. The peacock one is so funny! Oh man, please please please don't ever change! :-D

p.s. wonder if the baker doing the nazi cake wrecked it on purpose making the arms face to the left instead of the right?

October 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMissRon

Nazi cake deserves to be wrecked. They should of added airbrushing and sprinkles and some random balloons.

October 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterthisisCaketown

@WolverineGirl-it's NOT a swavastepcot, that's just what tourists call it. It's actual NAME is Swavesteship Earth.

October 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKatie

oh my goodness!! i had to throw my head back laughing at the last one

October 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

My husband, on seeing the turkey, said "gee, when I was in school, they had us use our hand for the outline..."

October 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterN-JO

Oh my goodness.. I cannot stop laughing..though I am wondering who the heck orders a swastika cake???? Oh don't answer.. I am too afraid to know.. even wreckerators wreck offensive things this is good to know..

October 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

The swastika cake is really the least offensive.

As others have mentioned, it is a Buddhist symbol (the nazi swastika is mirrored and rotated). Red is a Chinese symbol for good fortune. (The white is probably for contrast).

I don't think we should expect an ancient symbol to be abandoned because of its one perversion.

October 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMalweth

The bird on cake #245 is clearly the rare and beautiful poocock.

WV "ressess": after viewing these abominations I must have a ressess to recover...

October 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJulia

I was actually asked once to put a swastika on a cake! I worked at a hotel and the head chef was Swiss. He wanted a cake for Hitler's birthday. I am not making this up. (He claimed it was for a joke). I refused so my boss had to do it. She said how could I be offended, since I wasn't Jewish? Wish I'd complained to HR.

October 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKarenlibrarian

hahahaha - loving it! All are great (as usual)but the best, I have to say, is your ever-so-careful description of the turkey.

October 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKathleen

I think this might the funniest thing I have ever read! AWesome!

October 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAndrea

Your website is my all time favorite! YOU ARE SO WITTY! Keep up the great work :)

October 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

This Canadian approves of this post. Happy Almost-Thanksgiving to all my fellow Canadians!

October 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAllie

I was reading this while watching Carlos Mencia who, as I'm sure you are well aware, is an equal opportunity offender. He picks at EVERYONE! So... I vote you go back to your normal commentary and if people can't handle it, they can quit reading. I love you! Keep it up.

October 10, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMelyssa

My husband looked at the last one and said, "Oh. KlupKlakes," which made me snicker. Since I'm Jewish, and he's Black, this post had something for everyone. This blog often makes my day. :)

October 10, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTinatatertoes

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