My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

I'm Hunting Wreck-Its

Tracy in Washington wrote a while back to request Wrecks with, and I quote, "all manner of dead animals, people with shotguns or rifles, or dogs pointing at birds." Because apparently Fall is hunting season. And she seemed rather happy about it.

And, since I don't generally make it a practice to disappoint people with shotguns: Tracy, this one's for you.

- Shotgun shells?
- Edible photo of a deceased duck?
- For a groom's cake?
Check, please.

'Course, the dead duck in that picture IS a little subtle. I mean, he might just be sleeping. How are your guests supposed to know that the duck has, without question, joined the choir invisible?

Fortunately, there's always this option:

Now that's a dead duck.

Also, I've seen a lot of these cakes, and I have to ask: why shotgun shells and chocolate-coated strawberries? Why not shotgun shells and pineapple? Shotgun shells and kiwi? Or, heck, shotgun shells and sprinkles? I mean, so long as you have actual shotgun shells for the groomsmen to pluck off the cake and load their guns with, we're all good, right?

Aw, rats. These shells are edible:

If not recognizable.

Getting back to the deceased fowl, though, here we have a lovely SWEET MERCY WHAT IS HE DOING TO THAT TURKEY?!?

Not cool, man. Not cool.

'Course, when it comes to hunting cakes, most folks prefer a little more bang for their buck:

This is like one of those 20 questions games: there's a dead deer in the middle of a forest, with a Diving flag beside him. Now: How did he die?

Wow. I just realized: there's nothing like a dead deer cake to make you appreciate the ones without gunshot wounds:

Plus I kind of like this guy. He's all, "What? You want a piece of me? Huh, punk? YOU WANT A PIECE OF ME?!?"

Or, for a more subtle touch, try just jamming a set of antlers in your cake:

I tried this once with a set of chicken wings. In related news: some people just have no sense of humor.

Well, Tracy, Elmer Fudd, and the rest of you, in conclusion:

May all your Tinsel-Horned Snorkacks* be the stuff of legends.

Thanks, Paula L., Cory & Haley, Ramona S., Hollye S., Carly, Sandy C., Heather F., & Kristen S. I hope these were worth the doe!

*Note from john: If you got this reference, I'm slow clapping in your general direction.

**Note from Jen: If you got the reference *and* understood that we purposely changed "crumple" to "tinsel," then I'm awarding you virtual gold stars.

And there is no hidden meaning to "slow clapping." Honest.

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Reader Comments (192)

The one is a picture of a black lab type DOG and a DUCK on the ground in front of the dog on the lower right of the picture, mostly just the head and neck of the duck.

November 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

This was a bit disturbing on all levels - who ASKS for a cake like this? who decides it's a GOOD IDEA to have a cake like these? Shudder.

On another note, i just watched Starship Troopers yesterday and the antler cake kinda has an eery reference to those alien bug things.

November 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterStephanie

Are you certain those weren't Erumpent horns jammed in that cake?

November 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterPotterwatch's Peeps

The chocolate covered strawberries make it classy of course.

November 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSinnamon

Luna would be delighted that you have discovered a new variety of Snorkack. I hear the Tinsel-Horned can be really elusive, though. :)

November 16, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterabsepa

Gross. That first one looks like it's covered in dog food.

November 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterGina




November 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I now challenge John and Jen to find some "tasteful camouflage" (from Katie's comment) cakes. Most of the camouflage cakes I've seen are aw-FUL. Good luck, J & J.

I love the "What? You want a piece of me?" deer cake. That one almost made Coke come out of my nose.

November 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterFerralyn

We got thrown off the trail by the fact that there's a Pokemon known as a Snorlax, but a 2nd quick Google search set us straight. Yay Luna!

November 16, 2010 | Unregistered Commentermyimaginaryblog

I know it's a wreck but I really love the randomness of the deer and the diving flag. Say what?!?

November 16, 2010 | Unregistered Commenter4Broomes

pastel green very low EPCOT threat level rumbling re: duck reference for Cake #1...yes, we ALL see the dog but look closer, Simba...

wv: taterspo. No usage, really, but it's such a happy word. Taterspo! Wait - with my 21 yo twins more excited about midnight Thursday than they were about high school graduation three and a half years ago, an era draws to an end. I shall have to say Taterspo often to cheer up; my babies are leaving the nest.

November 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMindy

Ooh, Tinsel-Horned Snorkacks? Are they related to the Crumple-Horned variety?

November 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCdaae663

I can't remember what a crumple-horned snorkack is because I seem to have contracted a wrackspurt.

November 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterPie

that is truly one way to *plug* a turkey...seriously that one deer with the creepy antlers belongs with the soul-less monkey from last week...which then brings me to the existential question if a deer gets shot in the woods why is there a diving flag by it...

November 16, 2010 | Unregistered Commenter~flying gurl~

and being totally ignorant did not see all the hp stuff etc...*geesh* where is my coffee?

November 16, 2010 | Unregistered Commenter~flying gurl~

That is the LAST time that deer borrows my diving gear!

November 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJustine

What is the correlation between chocolate covered strawberries and shotgun shells? Is it a sublime to ridiculous thing?

I hope that turkey pressed charges. :P

November 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterIce Queen

what is with the dipped strawberries and dead ducks? seriously? is that what hunters eat or something?

November 16, 2010 | Unregistered Commentersedienaleeb

Jen and John-

Not to be OCD... but it's Crumple Horned Snorkacks... whose horns are easily confused with an Erumpent's Horn. I am an EPIC HP nerd.

November 16, 2010 | Unregistered Commentermarisaclock

Hi, Alex! Yes, a dog. With a dead duck! If you click on the photo, you'll get a better view of it!

To Jen & John... Next time, some warning please! I was eating and laughing, then laughing and choking, then laughing and gasping for breath! (That's my way of saying THANKS!)

"Alex said...
The picture on the top of the first one is a dog, not a duck. Making the cake even more disturbing. Maybe this cake was served at the dog's wake?

November 16, 2010 9:35 AM"

November 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJenny

A Harry Potter reference and an gentle nudge toward the Dead Parrot Sketch? Ah, I am a happy woman.

In spite of the cakes...

November 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKnit Wit

Jen and John-

I swear I'm only completely OCD when it comes to HP references...

It's a crumple horned snorkack- not tinsel horned.

I just read through that part again in eager excitement.

In other news- I want shotgun shells... and jimmies!

November 16, 2010 | Unregistered Commentermarisaclock

Have to admit... I like all the chocolate duckies posted around cake #1 tiers. Cute, especially if really edible.

November 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKathryn Brooke

I gotta concur with the antler cake looking like cockroach legs. Why would someone want such things sticking out of a cake? Ewww.

November 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJana

Love that slow clapping. It makes my radish earrings jingle. (Who has tickets for the midnight showing? YOU BETCHA I DO.)

Snorkacks aside - stellar post, John. Keep the carnage coming.

WV: ovign; "No, deer are cervign, though without the antlers, some of these do look a little sheep-like."

November 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBekah

These cakes are disturbing, but in a homey kind of way. Because 'round here, they close all of the schools on the opening day of hunting season. And no, I don't live in the sticks...

wv = coyalwar
"You could have one hootinanny of a coyalwar with all of those shotgun shells. Ayup."

November 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJenn (dish)

Ok the first cake the ducks look like dog poo and the one with the yellow and red "shells" looks like red licorice with can cheese spread!

I too am confused at the chocolate dipped strawberries, how is that manly? Romatic sure, but a deer head on a cake certainly removes all romantic notion of the strawberries!

November 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I think the "you want a piece of me?" deer's horns looks like gnarled fingers....just saying...

November 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSherry

The one antler on the 3-D looking cake looks like a creepy skeleton hand reaching to you from beyond the grave.

November 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAngela R.

And now that I've adjusted my Spectrespecs, I can see the ghosts of all those wisea** relatives, many of whom were wearing their jeans tucked into their boots in order to add a touch of class to the festivities, pretending to eat shotgun shells. But it's not their fault. Wrackspurts are everywhere, right?

November 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLuna Lovegood

As a "Yooper" (resident of Michigan's Upper Peninsula), I've seen my fair share of hunting cakes, but thankfully none that looked like these...

I know there's a line in Monty Python & the Holy Grail about farting in one's general direction, but I've never hear the "slow clapping" version...

Much thanks for the HP reference though...can't wait to see it...

November 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterNici G

My beautiful daughter and I agreed that Wreck #6 scared the crap out of us. Are we the only ones that see the snarled, twisted zombie like fingers marauding as antlers??? And is the that TAPE holding them to the cake on the left side??? Crazy, now I am not sure I can eat the deer in my freezer.

November 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJess

HP7?!?!? This weekend!?!?!? Why didn't anyone tell me? Did you really assume that I read all of those huge bill boards including the one 3 blocks from my house?

November 16, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterdrumnate

EPCOT Alert!! There's a *dead* duck in front of the *not dead* dog in cake #1. You can tell by the font.

November 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTuesday'sChild

I earned some slow clapping from John - yay for me... but boo for ALL the wreckerators.

November 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterT

There is a dead (or sleeping) duck in front of the dog.

November 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Being a bit of a party pooper here but the blue antler cake looks suspiciously photoshopped...

November 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterHaz

The gold pipe cleaner horns made me laugh. Ha!

November 16, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterlisadh

hooooooooooo leeeeeeeeeeeee CRAP!!! I think I've seen it all now.

November 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterConnie Moreno

Even though I've never gone hunting, being a gun-enthusiast in the midwest and knowing people who hunt, this post is AWESOME! I too was wondering, though, what's with the chocolate-covered strawberries on all the cakes? Thanks for my daily laugh!!

Now for some more cakes with handguns... Please? :-)

November 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLaura P.

wow! i am no hunter so when i saw cake #1 i thought it had mini vibrators scattered on it :$

November 16, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterzo

Ok, now I'M a wreckporter!! woohoo!

When I came across that dead dear with the dive flag... Is that a subtle way of telling guests to dive right in? Quick, everyone grab your buck knives and forks!

And the bloody shotgun hole? REALLY? truly a wreck-great execution but horrible cake...

November 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSandy C also in SoFla

That's not a tinsel horned snorkack! It's a crumpet horn! I recognize the grooves in the icing!

It's a class A non-tradable good!

November 16, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterpearljammies

I laugehed so hard on some these (especially the turkey cake with commentary) that I was in tears.

November 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCarolyn

Folks, the Tinsel-Horned Snorkack is a holiday cousin of the Crumple-Horned Snorkack. Gold, sparkly pipe cleaner horns are it's hallmark. They can only be seen by those with an advanced sense of humor.

John and Jen know it's a crumple-horned snorkack. The cake has gold, sparkly pipe cleaners for horns. Thus, Tinsel-horned snorkack. It's a joke. Get with the program.

I don't know how you all go through all these comments with people constantly "correcting" you. I'd go insane.

That said, holy moly are these cakes horrible. WHY the chocolate covered strawberries? They are on every single hunting groom's cake I've seen. Is it to class them up?

November 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Yay Harry Potter! :)

November 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTheresa

Chocolate covered strawberries are such an odd choice to pair with hunting...

I, too, thought the first cake might be for a dog's wake, due to that nice picture of the lab on top (even with a dead bird in the pic). My first thought, though, was "giant poo-cake."

November 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBecky

HP AND MP.. together, one post. I can die a happy little Luna.

(FB says I'm Luna - you gonna dispute that?) Eh? EH? Try and I'll sic that dear deer on ya. He looks ready to go at it.

*sigh* The cakes with shotgun shells and dead animals are nothing new up here in the Central Leatherstocking area of NY. Just sayin'.

I would love to see your cake with chicken wings, Jen!!


btw - groom's cakes began as a heavier cake (carrot or such)chocolate confection as an alternative to the bride's cake. They've gotten a "little" out of hand. They used to be very elegant.

November 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Please tell me you will post Harry Potter themed wrecks in honor of the movie!

November 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKJ

Virtual gold star for me :o)

November 16, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterncsudancelover

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