My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

I'm Hunting Wreck-Its

Tracy in Washington wrote a while back to request Wrecks with, and I quote, "all manner of dead animals, people with shotguns or rifles, or dogs pointing at birds." Because apparently Fall is hunting season. And she seemed rather happy about it.

And, since I don't generally make it a practice to disappoint people with shotguns: Tracy, this one's for you.

- Shotgun shells?
- Edible photo of a deceased duck?
- For a groom's cake?
Check, please.

'Course, the dead duck in that picture IS a little subtle. I mean, he might just be sleeping. How are your guests supposed to know that the duck has, without question, joined the choir invisible?

Fortunately, there's always this option:

Now that's a dead duck.

Also, I've seen a lot of these cakes, and I have to ask: why shotgun shells and chocolate-coated strawberries? Why not shotgun shells and pineapple? Shotgun shells and kiwi? Or, heck, shotgun shells and sprinkles? I mean, so long as you have actual shotgun shells for the groomsmen to pluck off the cake and load their guns with, we're all good, right?

Aw, rats. These shells are edible:

If not recognizable.

Getting back to the deceased fowl, though, here we have a lovely SWEET MERCY WHAT IS HE DOING TO THAT TURKEY?!?

Not cool, man. Not cool.

'Course, when it comes to hunting cakes, most folks prefer a little more bang for their buck:

This is like one of those 20 questions games: there's a dead deer in the middle of a forest, with a Diving flag beside him. Now: How did he die?

Wow. I just realized: there's nothing like a dead deer cake to make you appreciate the ones without gunshot wounds:

Plus I kind of like this guy. He's all, "What? You want a piece of me? Huh, punk? YOU WANT A PIECE OF ME?!?"

Or, for a more subtle touch, try just jamming a set of antlers in your cake:

I tried this once with a set of chicken wings. In related news: some people just have no sense of humor.

Well, Tracy, Elmer Fudd, and the rest of you, in conclusion:

May all your Tinsel-Horned Snorkacks* be the stuff of legends.

Thanks, Paula L., Cory & Haley, Ramona S., Hollye S., Carly, Sandy C., Heather F., & Kristen S. I hope these were worth the doe!

*Note from john: If you got this reference, I'm slow clapping in your general direction.

**Note from Jen: If you got the reference *and* understood that we purposely changed "crumple" to "tinsel," then I'm awarding you virtual gold stars.

And there is no hidden meaning to "slow clapping." Honest.

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Reader Comments (192)

Ah, the tinsel-horned Snorkack, reminds me of those radish earrings my friend got me for my birthday. *nostalgic sigh*

November 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJuno

HARRY POTTER!!!!!!!!!!! Sorry, I needed to get that out of my system. =D

Lovin Harry Potter (I also have the same birthday as him!),

November 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

WAIT WAIT WAIT!!!! I FORGOT TO SAY HOW MUCH I LOVE LUNA!! SHE'S MY FAVORITE CHARACTER!!!!!!! I'm really craving some vegetarian dish right now, because I'm afraid of my meat looking like that.


November 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Can somebody tell me what the black/brown clumps are on that first cake? I'm just hoping they aren't dog terds!! (fondant or otherwise!)

November 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBigD

Has anyone ever heard of a 'SHOTGUN WEDDING'???!! HAHAHAHAHAH

I guess this is what you serve when the bride is 14 and knocked up!!!!!! (I know leave the jokes to professionals)

For those of you not from the south, a SHOTGUN wedding is a forced wedding when the father of the underaged bride uses a little force to get the baby's daddy to marry his underaged daughter to make things 'RIGHT.'

Oh, yeah marriages like that end up looking just like the cake.....pretty s****y:) (sillly)

November 16, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterdiana

I'm guessing the hunter doesn't know THAT'S how you get the turkey trots...penicillin doesn't work on that, either...

-Barbara Anne

November 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Ahh, the tinsel-horned snorkack....I hear it's native to Epcot.....

November 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBeads By Lori and Sara

I find it an immense relief to know that there are people in this world who are as geeky and HP-obsessed (I mean, interested) as I am.

November 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSerena

i want my virtual stars no plz! xD

November 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I've just realized that the chocolate covered strawberries may perhaps represent bloody bits of the hunted animal's flesh. Or little mangled, muddy hearts. Because after a few looks at these cakes, that's all I can see.

Oh, and I would like to see a thestral cake some time, please. If not an intentional one, I'm sure there's a pathetic version of a horse out there that approximates one.

November 16, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterstonesoupjewelry

Okay, I'm listening to DH on audio and they've been babbling about crumple-horned snorkacks for a whole chapter. Weird. Props for HP AND MP references in this post!

November 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterViolaNut

For the sweet love of god WHY?

November 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The perfect cake for a shotgun wedding.

November 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterIce Cream You Scream

Well I'm glad I took some time off from making my new Butterbeer necklace to read this post - AWESOME! Hmm...maybe I could get you guys a spot in The Quibbler :)

November 16, 2010 | Unregistered Commenter♥ Luna ♥

Talk about a shotgun wedding!

November 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAndrea

I can't believe its a cake.

November 16, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterescalante blogger

You know, things like the "edible shells" on the horrid spray-painted-camo cake make me wonder: Do the decorators really only have one size decorating tip? Why all the tiny piping to make up the shell? Granted, using a larger tip would probably result in something looking like poo-shells. I guess it's lose-lose whatever they do... ;)

November 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTiffiny Felix

you know what? i just realized there IS a duck on the top of that first cake. the dog is just sitting next to it. hm...

November 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMollie

The shrubbery on the second cake looks like juniper, which i'm pretty sure is poisonous. Wow.

November 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterHam

gold stars for me! :D awesome day today, I got to see an early screening of the movie with my half-siblings, got a free movie poster, and gold stars for getting a snorkack reference! holey cow!

I won't spoil it for you by telling you whether or not there are any horned snorkacks: crumple-, tinsel-, or otherwise ;)

PS~ if this coming Sunday Sweets isn't HP-themed, I think I'll cry. And you wouldn't want that on your conscience, would you?

November 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSaintlike

There is a certain elegance to the cake with the horns ejected out the top.

An elegance that accompanies poked out eyes and overall discomfort.

November 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterOwen

That's not the kind of stuffing I'd choose for my turkey........

Harry who?

November 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCaroline B

on first glance i thought the first cake was infested by cockroaches! :S

November 17, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterjun

Personally, I thought the antlers sticking out of that one cake looked like giant cockroach legs. Thank goodness you identified them for me.

And, I want to see a cake with Nargles, please.

November 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterShelley Parker Chandler

I like the little chocolate duckies on the first cake! Itty bitty duck hunting rifles would be so much cooler than those clunky shells.

WV: laterd. Someone who is annoyingly perpetually late.

November 17, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterpikkewyntjie

apparently I'm the only one who didnt get snorkack reference. But then HP got old after the second movie

November 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I was Luna Lovegood for Halloween! A pretty damn good one too. But I didn't have a wand.... :(

November 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterxDante

Epcot Level Orange! And rising?

WV: derop. The readers who don't "get it" should derop off the face of the interwebs.

November 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKaitlyn

made me laugh out loud - at work - thanks - need that today!

awesome as always!

November 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterHeather

I may, just possibly, have another explanation for the "diver's flag"... in Pennsylvania, where I grew up with a hunter dad and several hunter uncles, when you got your deer, you would toss it in the trunk of the car, sometimes Especially if your brothers had already tied theirs on the front fenders). And sometimes, the antlers would hang out past the bumper. In Pennsylvania, items overhanging the bumper have to have a red caution flag of some kind to warn following motorists not to get too close. ANY ol' piece of red cloth would do - a bandanna, a hunting vest, a chunk of Christmas tablecloth, or... a diving flag?? Maybe they told the Wreckerator, "Don't forget the red caution flag!" and that one was left over from that SCUBA cake s/he did last weekend?

Merry at Annie's Book Stop

November 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Lol@ the reference! Love it! I was accually watching a special show thing on Bio about the thing that has it in it! :3 back to reading the Quibbler UPSIDE DOWN!

November 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSarah

Weeeee! Gold star for me! :D

November 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSami

Ok - those are just seriously disturbed, lol!! Too funny! Thanks - :)

November 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDonea Lee

I have to say, my Hubs would just love the cake with the shot, bleeding Deer for dessert/celebration after he had bagged a real one while is pretty well done, although horrid to Bambi lovers out there ! ( something to think about for our next big anniversary maybe...)

November 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterNonna Beach

I'll admit, it took a second to get the reference but I was thrown by the "tinsel-horned" bit. Also, I think the antlers on the antlers only cake look like a giant kabutomushi (Japanese rhinoceros beetle) got buried in the cake. See as kabutomushi are already kind of large, it's a rather disturbing thought.

November 19, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterlynellenyl

I think the perfect accompaniment for the shotgun shell cakes would be to also sprinkle them with silver ball bearing sprinkles - shot coming from the shells.

November 20, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterIvanMatfeevichRezansky

Yaaaaay! I get virtual gold stars! But...
If you *didn't* get the reference, I may be questioning whether you're well-read enough for survival.

December 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

yay harry potter #5!

January 12, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterZoe

Here's a more...... humane....... way to kill a turkey. Go to a turkey farm and yell "DAAAD!!!!!! LOOK!!!! IT'S A TURKEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Enjoy your dinner! (Kisses fingers in a chef-like fashion)

February 9, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLydia

Don't you mean Weck-its?

February 9, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLydia

Call me crazy, but as an outdoorsman, I actually think these cakes are kinda cool! Maybe I need to get my head checked.

February 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterGreg

Deceased duck...
I had to take a few looks ... that looks like a dog... unless I've been lied to.

October 10, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAnne

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