Search

My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Wednesday
Nov242010

Wrecks of Plenty

According to Wikipedia, the cornucopia - or "horn of plenty" - is typically a hollow, horn-shaped wicker basket filled with various kinds of festive fruit and vegetables.

According to Wreckerators, this is a cornucopia:

Where "festive fruit and vegetables" = "neon holographic plastic flotsam bits."

And this:


"Is that a vomiting tornado in your cart, or are you just sorry to see me?"


I refuse to believe this next one is anything other than a pile of tiny Wizard hats:

How many tiny Gandalfs had to die for this cookie cornucopia cake, huh? HOW MANY??

Fortunately, some of you knew better than to order a cornucopia cake. You ordered one of these lovely turkey ice cream cakes, instead:


So at least you have that to look forward to.

Heh. Aheh.

[keep scrolling]


Heh.

Oh, I'm sorry, do you still have an appetite? Here, let me help you with that:

Just think, "Charred and slimey." Thaaat oughta do it.

So in conclusion, tomorrow, remember to:

"Goble Goble,"

and:

But only one. Times are tough these days.

A very special "thank" to Diana T., Pam M., Sarah H., Tracy B., Sarah B., Linda S., & Emily G. (You guys will have to share.)

« Let's Hear It For The Bird | Main | Totally Stuffed »

Reader Comments (74)

A cornucopia of..terror. ;_;

November 24, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMegumi

wizard hat cake looks like grapes.

November 24, 2010 | Unregistered Commentermommymichael

Isn't the cookie with the blue wizard hats supposed to be a bunch of grapes?

November 24, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBerit

When I was a kid, I stuffed Trix cereal pieces into Bugles. I held the concoctions together with frosting, and they tasted terrible. At least they looked better than these cakes!

November 24, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterFanboy Wife

The last few days of CW has confirmed my belief that cake decorators should have licensing requirements. Why do they even bother to try?

November 24, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTricia L

Vomiting tornado? Vomiting me. Super yuck.

Nooooo! Gandalf! Ack! Although I think it might be some other wizard...Gandalf the Purple?

November 24, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterpanda-monium

That has to be one of the funniest posts for a long time. I am so glad that I found this blog as my cooking friends are now getting cake wreck calendars for christmas LOL

November 24, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterVicky

I had to go to the grocery store tonight to get a box of Stove Top Stuffing since my mom came down with the flu and was planning to make homemade stuffing. She won't be joining us for dinner tomorrow. Anyway, that first cornucopia looks exactly like the one I saw tonight. This grocery store does nice work, but I think the bakers were rushed since they had orange globs of icing on white layer cakes which were supposed to be pumpkins, and tons of flotsam. I picked up one of the less offensive ones, a single layer cake with orange piping and one piece of flotsam that said "Give Thanks" with a cornucopia underneath.

The ice scream turkey cakes (and I typed scream by accident but I'm leaving it because that's what I want to do when I see those awful things.)They are so unappetizing.

Happy Thank everyone!

November 24, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBree

Goble is the name of a funeral home in my town...

I love tiny wizard hats! Only not when they aren't supposed to be tiny wizard hats...

Give Thank!

November 24, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

"Goble Goble" made me think of the http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z2C4yRG-r-0" rel="nofollow">Swedish Chef in the Muppet Family Christmas...which made me happy.

November 24, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMolly

We saw the second one at our grocery! We always stop by to see the cakewrecks - we can count on finding some in the Dead Clown series, the ones my daughter thinks are newts and I think are sperm with legs, and of course poo cakes. I showed her one just like the second on this post as a newborn-baby-poo cake, since newborn baby poo is that mustard yellow/brown color.

November 24, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMarylynne

For the sweet love of god WHAT WERE THEY THINKING?!

November 24, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

InOviedo:
We sent in the Collapsed Turkey Picture (Wreck#4) and laughed the whole time trying to get a picture of it.
Funny thing is that it was still for sale - even with the ripped off cone-leg hanging on!. Just hanging out in the cooler waiting for someone to say "That one looks good, let's get it!"
It didn't look good before it's tragic accident either....

November 24, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Best laugh all day. I am thankful for Cake Wrecks.

November 24, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda

Happy Thankgiving to our neighbours (translation: neighbors) to the south. May all your cakes be sweet and may you have only real turkey aboot the hoose.

A special thank to CW for bringing much laughter to the internet, eh.

Gooble! Gooble!

November 24, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterjeliecam

The wizard hats cake is SO Beaubatons' girls doing syncronized swimming...or dancing...with lots of little blue butterflies!

November 25, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJennifer

The Gandalf wizard hats made me laugh so hard! I can't wait to show this post to my mom in the morning, so she can pee her pants laughing so hard, while she's cooking the turkey!

On a similar note, I am so thankful for Cake Wrecks, because it's so inspiring, it's joyful, it lead me to Epbot which makes my geeky heart swell with pride, and it assists me in my mission to make my mom pee her pants laughing every day. :)

~Sarah S.

November 25, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSarahPants5

I for one will never ever order a ice cream cake shaped like a turkey. Ugh lol how scary they look. As for the horn o plenty things.. one I fear looks like a giant black hole about to eat us all. That or throw up on us can't tell which..

November 25, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

Hey. I am happy I've found this page, I've been trying to remember the web address. Anyway I would just like to thank you for your time and the posting, I've enjoyed it. I have saved as a favorite it and also subscribed to the RSS feeds.

November 25, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterPeter

The tiny Gandalfs aren't dead, they're just buried hat-deep in the cake ^_^ If you pull on the hats they'll pop out, sputtering icing everywhere.

November 25, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDas

Some cake makers shy away from freezing cakes due to the fear that their creation might dry out. If the proper method is not utilized, that fear will be justified. The key lies in how you wrap the cake. It's also important to postpone the decorating process until the cake has fully defrosted. Icing tends to "sweat" and become gooey when a cake is left out to defrost.

November 25, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDenver American Restaurants

When you are applying butter icing or frosting, the best cake decorating technique is to put a large dollop in the centre on the top. You then need to spread out the icing with a spatula (I find that a metal spatula gives a smoother effect and is easier to use than a plastic spatula) towards the edge of the cake.

November 26, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterlee alex decor denver

That purple/blue wizard hat cake is not supposed to be a cornucopia at all: it's the "great" state of Louisiana. Or Italy with a bad case of the blues, not sure.

November 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

A good option is to buy already baked cakes that only need the surface decorations. Also when selecting the shapes, single layered, rectangular, square and round cakes with marginal assembly are the least nettling choices. Multi-tiered unusual shaped cakes requiring a lot of assembly is a strict No.

January 4, 2011 | Unregistered Commentersharp microwave oven

PostPost a New Comment

Enter your information below to add a new comment.
Author Email (optional):
Author URL (optional):
Post:
 
Some HTML allowed: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <code> <em> <i> <strike> <strong>