My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Teaming With Wreckage

The only thing I know about sports is that hitting the man in black over the head with a rock is NOT very sportsmanlike. Still, even *I* can see something's off with these sports team cakes.

I mean, c'mon, who takes a lovely sunburned R.O.U.S. like this:

...and turns it into Disney's Mushu, twisted up like a pretzel?

P.S. For you non-Disney folk, this is Mushu:

This next one is much better, though:


Yes, I lied. Get used to disappointment.

How about a simple star?

Think it'll work?

Correct answer: "It would take a miracle."

At this point it's just morbid curiosity keeping you going, isn't it? [nodding] Yeah. I'm right there with ya.

[blinking] Hoo boy. Anyone else have a bad feeling about this?

Oh. Well, I guess it could be worse..

It's worse, it's worse!

Hey, you know those videos online where you see the freight train headed for the tanker truck full of gasoline, and part of you is cringing and thinking what a horrible tragedy is about to occur, and the other part is all, "Oh man, this is gonna be GOOD!"

Well, allow me to introduce a tanker truck full of gasoline:

Now, heeeere comes the freight traaaaaiiiin!! (Choo choo!)


Thanks to today's Wreckporters Steve R., Rebecca W., Tug T., Valerie, & Stephanie, who would never get involved in a land war in Asia.

« Wreck and Roll | Main | Golden Arch Enemies »

Reader Comments (149)

Great post! Princess Bride rocks. And to the wreckerators: I do not think it means what you think it means.

November 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKaryl

To the pain...I leave you in anguish, wallowing in freakish misery, forever.

November 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMiss Mindy

what's that last thing SUPPOSED to be? 'cause he's a happy blue frog in cake....

meanwhile, those fleurs-de-lis look like belted babies--one with a tail, and one with a gimpy foot. utterly frightening.

wv: accalis. maybe it's not a pimple. maybe it's just accalis.

November 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Wow!! Who knew that Lord Voldemort was the Broncos new mascot!! Gee I thought he would have much preferred Quidditch over football!

November 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBeth

I am now wiping tears from my eyes...

November 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBuffy

You could do PB quotes every day! They NEVER get old. Any PB cakes out there?

November 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLynelle

I seriously fall more in love with you guys every time you speak Princess Bride to me. (Wow, that sounds so stalker crazy. Oops)

GO SUNBURNED R.O.U.S.-es!! (That's awkward. I'll have to keep cheering for the Hogs, I guess)

November 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSariah

These cakes are inconceivable!

November 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSarah

My 5 year old thought the second Saint's cake was a gingerbread man! :)

November 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMichelle

Princess Bride theme!!! I love it! The demonic Bronco was the best lol- WHY!

November 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

"who are you? I must know!"

"Get used to disappointment."

Dear Jen, I adore you for your princess bride references.

Now find me a Fezzik cake ok?

November 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMolly

Yay, Princess Bride! Have you read the book?

November 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCap'n Kyrie

The first Saints cake attempted fleur de lis looks like a dead lizard wearing a Michelle Obama signature belt.

November 30, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterdeb

LOL this cake wrecks made my morning!

November 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAbbie

My name is Inigo Montoya. Today is my birthday. Prepare to eat cake.

Good way to celebrate, Jen, thanks for the laffs!

November 30, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterdnana

The Broncos cake looks like the creature for the 4th Alien Movie!

November 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKerethina

Well, you were remarkably apropos or just incredibly nerdy with the Princess Bride quotes. Apparently (according to the facebook princess bride page) today is Inigo's birthday. So Happy Birthday Inigo!

Hello! My name Inigo Montoya. Today is my birthday. Prepare to celebrate.

Okay, I am not that clever. That was the facebook quote. But good anyway!

November 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

whoa! That may not be a bronco, but it's a dead-accurate Scarran (from Farscape)!

November 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSarah

LOL'd right from the start. I just watched Princess Bride yesterday.

November 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

LOVE this post!!

By the way...I believe the quote you're looking for is...

No more rhymes now...I mean it.

Anybody want a peanut?

Ironically...the WV is Saltys

November 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCorri Anne

I am a current TCU student -- and we are the horned frogs! It's this little spiney lizzard found in Fort Worth that apparently shoots blood out of its eyes (or at least the bakeries around here think they do?). If you guys could only see the absolute tragedies of baked goods that are produced around here... it's enough for a whole post! Especially lately because our football team is likely headed to the Rose Bowl, there are all these cakes with "frogs" and roses, it looks like a giant bloody purple masacre. I understand that a horned frog is an ambiguous mascot but that's what the internet is for!

November 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda


To the pain... so seriously, when viewing this set of wrecks.

I'm still cringing. And whinging.

I'd love a peanut. It might take my mind off the sight of that unknown cake. I mean it.

BTW - love the blue frog song.

Elizabeth C. -- Well played!!


November 30, 2010 | Unregistered Commentermladybright

Horned toad, blue frog, same difference, right?

December 1, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJen

Yep it is official. My brain has just exploded from these cakes lol. And I loved the R.O.U.S reference. Wow haven't seen "Princess Bride" in forever. Must read the book again too..

December 1, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

Props on the Princess Bride quotes! Always a solid choice. I would like to point out, and thank you, for the Star Wars reference as well. Hee! You made my day so much better!

"What an incredible smell you've discovered," could be applied to the cakes.

(Am I the only one who saw the SW reference?)

December 1, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

What have you done with Grover's nose?!

December 1, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTB Tabby

To me, the Broncos logo looks like a flaming hell's angel skull and the last cake looks like Grover unfortunately in the "little monsters" room.

December 1, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterChris@TheSnackHound

I snorked on my pizza just now. That's a mix of choking on pizza and blwoing it out my nose simultaneously.

December 1, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMissNay

After looking at all those cakes...anybody want a peanut?!!!

December 1, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterOlivia

GO TEAM! Go team. Go team?.... Oh, forgeddabowtit.

December 1, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCake Cop

That last one WTF?!

December 1, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

You KILLED my cake...Prepare to DIE.

December 1, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTravelGoddess

Oh my gracious! The Razorback wonder it was on Manager Special (though it wasn't marked down ENOUGH, if you ask me) The Bronco's cake - anyone else see Skeletor? :)

December 1, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterGina

That blue monstrosity in the last cake wreck is just strange. What the heck were they thinking.

December 1, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMary

Freaky Frog at the end looks disturbingly like No Face in the film "Spirited Away." Yes? Yes? Anyone else see the resemblance? Do I sense a post on Anime cakes gone horribly wrong in the offing?

December 1, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Okay, so... does the middle Saints cake look to anyone else like a man wearing a belt and, erm... well endowed? o_O

December 1, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda

Am i the only one thinks the Bronco wreck looks like Voldemort?

December 1, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAllison Victor

I was throwing up all day Sunday and didn't have much of a reason to laugh at ALL until I woke up Monday morning to this HILARIOUS post! OH man, and I'm not even a sports fan. You guys are AWESOME!

December 1, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKellie

Only you could mingle sports and Princess Bride quotes with such aplomb.

Cracked up at the last one. Almost snorted rice. IMMLunchBreak

December 1, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAeryn

Well, before Disney, there was just mushu pork, am I right?

December 1, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I could understand HOME bakers coming up with indescribable birthday cakes, but the worst offenders today (and usually everyday at Cake Wrecks) are the STORE bakeries. A SKULL AND CROSSBONES ON LIPS? What's the message--"I'm dying to kiss you"? "Kiss me and you're DEAD"?

December 1, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJ. A. Robinson

I think that last cake was made by the same Wreckerator that created the Baby Tristan cake last summer!

December 2, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterkimbalaya

How could they get the star wrong?! It's a basic shape you learn in preschool!

check out my blog:

December 2, 2010 | Unregistered Commenter~Nikki~

the horse looks like one of the gargoyle-dogs in ghostbusters :)

December 3, 2010 | Unregistered Commenteraddia

Elizabeth C- you are as cool as Jen & John!!! lol

either I missed it or no one realized we finally have the answer to wrecks: they were frosting left handed!!!!!

-Barbara Anne

December 3, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

wow, that denver broncos logo totally looks like voldemort :]

December 4, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterjenn

The bronco logo cake looked to me like Lord Voldemort's ace pushing itself out of an unfortunately colored Quirrel. But that could just be me.

December 7, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKimberly Dettke

As a fellow horned frog (TCU) I must say... wow, that is one pathetic cake! A frog =/= horned frog, baker friend. Excuse me while I go cry and find out which bakery to NOT buy my TCU cake from for the bowl game! :)

December 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

I totally just used the Broncos wreck to design a monster for a comic book I'm making. It's making me hope even more that I eventually get published.

December 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDylan R.

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