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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Wednesday
Feb102010

From the Bottom of My...Bottom

Why give your heart to that special someone this Valentine's Day, when you can give him/her something even more special:

your colon.

You know, this is so moving, I think I feel a song coming on. That, or a bad case of stomach flu. [head tilt] No, no...I'm pretty sure it's a song. (Whew!) Ok, then - c'mon, everyone, sing it with me!

Laast V-day, I gave you my heart,
But the very next day, you gave it away.
Thiiiis year, to save me from tears,
I'm gonna give you my co-lon (colon!)

Psst. Soon everyone will want the coffee cake colon, Charissa B. - pass it on!

- Related Wreckage: Valentine's "Winners"

« TMI Valentines | Main | Conditions Froggy »

Reader Comments (128)

I thought it said "I Love You, A**h***"

February 10, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAmy C.

So this is what all the kids are saying these days, I love you will all my intestines???

Call me old fashioned, but I don't think it'll stick

WV goatio: Goatio's the breakfast of nannies!!!

February 10, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCan't See Sheep

That...is...just...just not right.

February 10, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMeg

If this is a colon cake, I don't want to know about the filling!

February 10, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

XD This is so giving me flashbacks of my time working at a morgue.

February 10, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Nice. Very, very nice.

... and I meeeeean it from the heaaart of my boooootttom!

February 11, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterChef, Interrupted

So. Wrong. This is proof that there should be a license to decorate cakes, of course then this wonderfully entertaining, and sometimes disturbing blog wouldn't exist.

February 11, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCakelover

I thought it was lobsters mating. That would be more in keeping with the holiday, anyway.

February 11, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterwhoami

Any chance it's supposed to be lobsters? You know, the whole "lobsters are monogamous creatures" thing...?

February 11, 2010 | Unregistered Commentervmdesign

Happy birthday, cryandwriteasong. I'm sorry you didn't get a real cake, enjoy your virtual king colon monkeybreadcake.

Word verification: falkt - a small, extremely ugly cake served during Falker Satherhood.

February 11, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterWolvie Girl

That is truly vile.

February 11, 2010 | Unregistered Commentercupcakes.gr

What I cant work out is exactly how many Valentines is the purchaser meant to be feeding? That cake is massive. Surely a Valentine's cake shouldnt be bigger than a 2 person cake.

Lesley

February 11, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Okay. Colon cake = gross. If roses are to inspire thoughts of love, what does a colon say?

wv:ranto
"There was a geek
who liked to blog
'bout cakes wrecks and rant-o..."

Thank you. Thank you. I'll be here all week. Try the colon cake...

(and I mean geek only with all the love in my heart, of course, Jen!!)

February 11, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterErica

actually, the colon is very white and a little bit veiny looking (mom is a nurse, and did surg for a few years too) but this does look like a colon.
I wonder if it has chocolate filling

=|

February 11, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterPierro

W T F ! that looks like a slab of meat! ewww.

February 11, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMarianne

What kills me is it says "I love YOU" - like it's intended for just one person to eat. Pull up a fork, sweetie, and dive right in!!

February 11, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

People, keep posting your kids' reactions! They have the best comments of all! XD

vw: punkybo

My boyfriend is a punkybo. (Well, actually, he's a gothbo, but...close enough.) lol

February 11, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMiranda

nothing like a big bloody sphincter to say I love you....

February 11, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

That could be the butt hole and not the colon.

February 11, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterEllen

Nothing says love like bloody poop. :(

February 11, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterGirl Genius

There is an episode of Friends where Phoebe discusses how lobsters mate for life. When Ross and Rachel get back together in that same episode, she squeals, "See?! She's his lobster!"

I may be crazy but this cake has a lobster-like look to it?

February 11, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I can't stop laughing.

February 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterChris

I am from New Orleans and king cakes DO NOT EVER look like this cake. I am getting nauseous just looking at that awful cake, so gross! Just when I think you can't possibly find something worse, you do. I shudder to think what you could find that could be worse than this...

DawnC

February 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDawn

I think you need to spell out what exactly is meant by the term "V-Day." I wouldn't question it if I hadn't seen that picture. :P

P.S. Please check the calendar in the late summer, and don't post a similar-looking cake if it happens to be "V-J Day," either, or I'll die laughing and/or of fright.

February 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

This one is for - sing with me people -
All the single ladies
All the single ladies! etc.
If wanted it you shoulda put a bit o' colon on it.
Ew ew ew
Ew ew eeeww...

February 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLady Meerkat

FYI - calon is Welsh for heart, so found this amusing on many levels!

February 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Can't ... breathe ... Laughing ... too ... hard ...

*gasp* *sob* *snortle*

Too funny!

Elizabeth - Sydney, Australia

March 14, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

As if the picture wasn't priceless enough, your George Michael adaptation really . . . took the cake! *uncontrollable laughter*

April 7, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterOasis

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