Search

My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Friday
Feb192010

Otherwise Engaged

In all fairness, who doesn't want to look like a hot Victoria's Secret babe on her bridal shower cake?

Although with those silver eyes, white lips, and hair streaks, Lubna is looking more like a bridal banshee. Assuming that "bridal" = "bikini" of course. (Hey, it's happened before...)

At least Lubna gets a rockin' bod on her cake, though. As opposed to... well, a rockin' bod:

Behold, the bridal shower weeble wobble!!

Yep, this cheeky little lady salutes all Wreckerators who would pipe icing over a lace-wrapped cake board.

Still, which is worse, ladies? Bad bridal thongs, or raiding your toddler's toy chest?

Wowza. There's so much unidentifiable pellet flotsam on this thing, I'd be looking for rogue bunnies nearby.

Well, never mind which is worse - because this one beats them all, hands down:

Just take a card, and back away slowly.

Jonora A., Megan S., Anony M., & Travis D., isn't it nice to get these things off your chest?

- Related Wreckage: This One's for the Girls

« Seussical Sweets | Main | Wacked Out Wrecks »

Reader Comments (103)

CW#3 looks like the garbage disposal backed up on it. And why is it labeled, "Shower of Love amd koappimess Madia"?

The more I think about it it may be one of the best labeled CW of all time. It is a shower of koappimess!

February 19, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterHeather

I love the "Shower of love and Hoapimess" cake

February 19, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJust Jim

Okay, that last one made me go "Huh?" Thanks for sharing. I think. :D

February 19, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterRachel H.

I have to wonder what the recipients of these cakes are thinking? I mean, do they actually think they're ace???

And that last cake was a little too disturbingly like the first season of Dexter for me...

February 19, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBakingdom

I just can't figure out what was going on in the mind of the decorator that last one... Is it two dis-embodied hands on her back... his back... her flat chest... and why?? and do I even want to know why???...

February 19, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterRebecca D

But it's the lace-wrapped board that gives it Class!

February 19, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKristers

I clicked on the link for the first cake. I am going to drown myself now. Goodbye.

February 19, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJelliDonut

I think Lubna forgot to remove her depilatory cream from her upper lips...

February 19, 2010 | Unregistered Commentercosas de cocina

The butt cake mmh?

Well , fat bottomed girls make the rocking world go round

February 19, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMella

After reading the comments, I discovered I was wrong. The wording on cake #3 is NOT "sloppiness" like I thought.
I'm just glad I don't get invited to many wedding showers any more if attendees are being penalized with cakes like this.

February 19, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterdrgns4vr

Ok. That last cake?

What the what?

February 19, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda in Austin

ah, gotta love that link!

just FYI, it's a traditional Gypsy/traveler wedding. They marry young, drop out of school young etc etc and live in caravans (trailers) going place to place. Somehow they are in the majority stonking rich. I wish I knew how!

as anonymous said earlier, most UK weddings are a white dress and tuxes affair. Am enjoying the tacky wedding site though!

February 19, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCaitlin

On top of the overall ugliness/what-were-they-thinking-ness, I find it very unappetizing that the horse drawing the carriage has hair and is being used as a cake topper. In addition to the flotsam, to have to pick hairs out of a piece of cake is just disgusting.

February 19, 2010 | Unregistered Commentercatchat105

I believe the butt cake is Wonder Woman in disguise!! http://www.starshows.com/images/wilton/ww.JPG

Wonder Woman's got back!

February 19, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCarolyn

Why does Lubna have angel wings? I'm not sure I really want to know...

February 19, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterShirley

I think the 4th cake was for breast cancer awareness month...but women might be afraid to examine themselves for fear of dismembered hands! I love your site have to check it everyday!

February 19, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterNirac82

Anonymous said:
"... (here in the boring old freezing cold UK brides tend to wear plain old white dresses)."

Apparently, this is not as true as we might wish. Click on the link Jen provided under the first (string bikini) cake. That WAS in the UK!

February 19, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterGary

Amber said...
"Is that last one supposed to be a cake for a recent graduate of a masseuse school maybe?"

Not unless this masseuse treats dismembered dead people.

Massaging the dead ... hmm ... I don't really want to think about that too much.

February 19, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterGary

Flotsam cake: what IS all that crap, and why is it on the cake? Did someone drop their paper plate of fruit while standing near it?
Last cake: Just Plain TACKY.
What that even "professionally" done? - is that why the business cards were there? I wouldn't admit to making that horror. I would be hiding my face in a paper bag.

February 19, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMe Myself & Moi

@Shirley--

"Angels" are what Victoria's Secret calls their lingerie models, credit card holders, customers...

http://www.ruggedelegantliving.com/a/images/VS.Fashion.05.Angels.jpg

I don't think those gals eat a lot of cake, though.

February 19, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

OK...the last picture...um....

Congratulations...for your new hands? Your new...detached hands? Your new backwards hands? WHAT! I have to know!

February 19, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJust Me,Pilgrim

Behold, the bridal shower weeble wobble!!

Hey, I resemble that remark!

February 19, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterValerie

Isn't the source of all those little brown clusters of pellets on the "Cinderella" cake perfectly obvious? I mean, c'mon... He's standing right there in front of the pumpkin carriage, and let's face it: He make LOOK like a splendiferous, rainbow-maned horsie right now, but he DID start life as a mouse...

February 19, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma!

I don't think that cake board is lace-wrapped. I think it's WRAPPING PAPER wrapped. There's too much of a shiny reflection on the corner.

February 19, 2010 | Unregistered Commentershadow

I don't know if I'm right in any way but that last one might be... someone massaging a back? Maybe?

February 19, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterizuma

My theory on the last cake: the wreckerator was very proud of making a cake for the guy from Memento after he got engaged (the tattoo across his chest is so he'll remember, of course - although there is no 'of course' for the severed hands), and so she chose that cake to advertise her business. Who wouldn't want Memento guy's cake designer?

February 19, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterACM

For the hand cake, I'm thinking that the hands were attached to the body, but the wreckorator noticed that he/she didn't have a big enough board for the whole thing, so came up with this great idea. That would explain the un-iced edges. Doesn't explain what happened to the rest of the arms, but maybe it's a person with really short arms!

February 19, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The one with the toys looks like it got thrown up all over it. I'm just saying....

And my bridal shower cake was a suitcase (cuz we were going to San Francisco) so I'm feeling kind of cheated now....

February 19, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterRyan, Corrie, Max, and Jack

I think you've got it all wrong about the wreckerator advertising alongside the disembodied-hands cake. A truly enterprising baker who produced that unidentifiable mess would put their competitor's cards there.

Also, to BADKarma!: Best comment so far. Started life as a mouse, indeed.

February 19, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterabi

Those are all hideous, and I also thought that the butt cake is probably made from a penis cake mold.

Also, "Lubna" looked more to me like a kogal/ganguro/manba type--and if you don't know what those are, do a google image search. It'll be safe for work, just not safe for sanity...

February 19, 2010 | Unregistered Commenteremily

Is that bottom one for an Addams Family shower? (Who knew Thing wanted to get his nails done?)

February 19, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterFanboy Wife

Did anybody else see that last cake as, well, kinda' sexual? I mean, I *think* it's supposed to look like the woman is grabbing the man's back while they're... "on their honeymoon," shall we say. *LOOK* at it. (Well, no closer than you already have, perhaps. That way lies madness...) But honestly that was the first thing I saw. That's why her hands are "backwards."
WV: "calen" Boy, I find it hard to believe any of these bakers would think their skills are 'calen-te'..."

February 19, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAquilaLorelei

The second one reminds me of Samara, the evil little girl, from the Ring. It's sort of creeping me out.

February 19, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCory

That is so freaky it's funny.

February 19, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterNani

I don't AT ALL understand the last cake. AT all. Like, at all.

February 19, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterpeewee

Cake #4 there aren't enough words to express the horror.. all I can think of is halloween came early and to celebrate surviving the zombie attack the baker made this.. well at least they left cards so people know who to blame.. lol

February 20, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMarie

Does the half nekkid banshee have rabies?

Who wants a butt for their bridal shower??? That second ones basic shape made me think of a waving barbapapa.
http://www.zwatla.com/emoticones/barbapapa/13.gif

Weebles may not fall down, but apparently their bums make thongs vanish.

I like Cinderella in her chariot, I can almost hear the whip cracking as she pulls a Ben-hur on the way to the ball, forcing her evil stepmother's carriage off the road, yeehah!!!

The last one, hacked up body parts?? #4 would do better with discoloured skin, fake blood & sold as a zombie parts cake for Hallowe'en, it'd be less disturbing that way. What do you celebrate with that? Congratulations on your farm equipment accident, happy amputee-ism?

I love this blog it gives me the giggles & I can always count on it to get my imagination fired up. Thank you so much for the link to the Tacky Wedding's blog, this is going to be fun.

February 20, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCan't See Sheep

Wow. I'm not even sure the first one says 'bridal'. It looks more like 'brĂ¼dal'. Which is special, to say the least.

February 20, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterIngeborg

I think Lubna is a vampire, those look like fangs to me. The wings, just to disguise the fact she's a vampire.

I think the My Little Pony on the Cinderella cake looks scared. I don't blame him.

February 20, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJerry

I love the, "happimess" on the third cake - lol

February 20, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

On the flotsam cake, I guess those could be gooseberries - but, they look like tomatillos to me.

February 20, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The last cake is a celebration of finally getting her hands on a man!

February 20, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

Now, I could see that from-the-back offering a keen cake for the bachelor party.
Wait, what? She *isn't* doing what I think she's doing?

February 20, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterbats :[

OK- the third one almost made me puke- what in the Sam hill are they thinking with the pastel green air brush mess and all that fruit? I guess? Is that fruit???? My daughter has that princess toy and I can tell you that in all actuality- the fake hair from the mane was probably on the cake too. It is really long.....

Then I saw the 4th picture- and GOOD GRIEF! What in the?!?!? Whew-- I need a break now....

February 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterWendyMom

*Extremely put off* Good lord, the Tacky Weddings link is just appalling. The post itself isn't too bad, but the comments are an interminable screed of racial hatred. This post would have been a great deal more enjoyable without the link.

February 21, 2010 | Unregistered Commentercheryl_bites

I wonder if anyone can zoom in on the business card next to the dead-dismembered cake and get the actual information so we can call and ask what fun kind of drugs someone was on when they not only made, but presented that monstrosity.

February 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterYomamma

I think...on the first cake...that white stuff might be something much much worse then a mustache. Ahem.

February 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnnie

Lubna is either a.) a rabies victim in full foam; b.) just gave a very successful BJ or c.) is a vampire.

February 24, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJenna

That last one is so disturbing and confusing!

February 24, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJennifer

Actually, even tho' this is slightly off-topic, I think you'll actually "want (please note the quote marks)" to see that there's a n EVEN WORSE DRESS than that one (it's the first on the page, you can't miss it - try as you might):

http://www.tribemagazine.com/board/tribe-main-forum/149817-gypsy-wedding-holy-slutfest-4.html

("Your" dress is further down the page, BTW)

March 3, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterIron Chef Kosher!

PostPost a New Comment

Enter your information below to add a new comment.
Author Email (optional):
Author URL (optional):
Post:
 
Some HTML allowed: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <code> <em> <i> <strike> <strong>