Tuesday
Feb022010
Holy Smokes!
February 2, 2010
I should probably filter what I say here, but when I'm craving some delicious cake, nothing matches the taste of an ashtray full of cigarette butts:
Mmmm.
Say, if the decorator got rid of just one of those smokes, would the cake then be a cigarette lighter? {{groan}}
Can't bear the thought of chomping on butts? Then why not chew on this mouth-watering tobacco can instead?
Or if that bear is too ferocious for ya, we can always replace it with a cute little donkey:
(See, the bear's head is the donkey ears, and the front leg is his head. See it? He's just reaching down to enjoy some delicious wintergreen grass. Eh? Right? Who's with me, here?)Moving on...
Look, guys, just because her name is Ashley doesn't mean this is necessary:
(Maybe it was a gift from her friends CHARlie, TARa, and PIPEr.)
Plus, why a cigarette cake when Ashley has never even had a cigarette before?
At least I'm guessing she hasn't, since that would have been illegal. And no one smokes before they're legally permitted to - right, Ashley? Right?
At least I'm guessing she hasn't, since that would have been illegal. And no one smokes before they're legally permitted to - right, Ashley? Right?
Making Turkish cigarette cakes must be a real drag:
Loosely translated, "Sigara icmek omru azaltir" means, "Quitting cigarette-themed display cakes greatly reduces loss of customers."
Daniella T., Renee G., Julie M., Courtney M., & Mark B., you guys are a breath of fresh air. NOTE FROM JEN: Who is Number1? She's my new Jen-clone. Yep. She's just like me, only smarter, cuter, and gosh darn it, a wee bit funnier. I've strong-armed her into doing a few guest posts from time to time, so y'all be nice to "the new Jen" while she gets her feet wet around here. (After that, though, she's fair game. Mwahahahah!)
- Related wreckage: Proper Grooming
Reader Comments (131)
Ewww! Holy SMOKES, those cakes are disgusting!
I think most people have already summed up my feelings toward these cakes.
One word....WHY?
There has been so many times I have said that cake is so pretty I couldn't eat it - or that cake is so mis-formed/deformed I couldn't eat it. Well these are just soooo disgusting that I definitely could not/would not eat them!
I'm baffled... except for the, er, donkey - they are really well done!
But who in the world would want to be that tacky? Hmmm... perhaps the next thing we'll see are trailer trash cakes?
that turned my stomach like you can't imagine. Give me birthing cakes ANY day! lol
I sort of see the donkey, but it looks more like an aardvark to me.
I have to wonder if they flavored these cakes with liquid smoke, to make them all the more "authentic."
"Mmmm! You can really taste the char!"
-Curt
You know... While the idea behind these cakes is extremely unappetizing, at least most of them ARE well done!
First I thought those butts on cake #1 were real. Then I clicked to enlarge and saw that they were fondant. Then I realized it didn't even matter if they were real or not-- eating that cake would be impossible either way.
I am one who can overlook a multitude of sins if they have icing on top. But not this. I could not bring a bite of cake to my mouth if it made me think of (retch) cigarettes.
Liz in Seattle
VW: turpi. Definition: the sound I made when trying not to vomit in my mouth while viewing tobacco cakes
I guess in all objectivity most of those cakes are skillfully executed and look realistic, but why are they making cakes of cigarettes and chewing tobacco? Gross!
By the way, I think you should change Jen #1's name to Jen Prime (or Jen'). Not only is it cooler and nerdier, but also more Star Trekkian.
Liz in Seattle (again)
To be fair, subject matter aside these cakes are all very well done, in my opinion. (maybe not #3)
This post brings the ick-factor into a whole different dimension.
It's not illegal to smoke before age 18, it's just illegal to buy tobacco products. Big difference. Smoking is gross btw.
hiliarious first post Number 1! welcome to cakewrecks. gosh, those are some nasty cakes! if you've never smoked before, can you still say that you haven't if you eat one of these cakes?
Most of these wrecks are wrecks in concept, not execution. The only cake that is also badly executed is #3. #1 appears to be well made, but it looks way too much like an ashtray for me to ever want to eat it. The wreckerators who made these, except for #3, did a good job fulfilling some wacky customer orders. If only they could have persuaded the customer to let them make something else.
Wow, Jenn, you are SMOKIN'
(okay, I had to say that. Sorry, move along. Nothing to see here folks)
I have never wanted to run away from a cake, like NEVER, but these cakes make me want to take a "cake break". They are so gross. I can look past the well done this, or that. You should never look at a cake and not want some of it, that should be illegal!
*groan*
Those were REALLY bad puns.
And cigarette cakes? Seriously? I think these are the worst cakes I have EVER seen. Ew.
Oh no #1 is by far the worst cake I've EVER seen, and we've had some doozies here on CW. All my mind was doing when that image seared itself into my brain was scream why, WHY, WHYYYY???
I was feeling nauseous coming here today. This hasn't really helped :)
So much sugar, flour, vanilla, and talent to produce such....ewwwwwwwwww cakes. A shame. Such a waste.
WV: uncyte: Can I uncyte these? I want to eat my lunch without puking.
Nice job, Number 1!
I agree with the others in that these are well executed, but just too gross to think about eating. Blech!
I almost tossed my cookies when I saw that ashtray cake. There's a wide line between laughable and disgusting. This cake is disgusting - even writing about them is making me queasy..
Found your blog through the bloggies nominations, great blog - very fun :) Makes me hungry though.
OH, oh, oh....those are just the sickest cakes I've ever seen, especially the first and the Turkish ones. I don't even think I could taste them blindfolded. I just ordered my lunch but I think my appetite might be taking a quick holiday....
um.... pardon me whilst i empty the contents of my stomach... Ugh, I think I will be taking a break from food for the rest of the day... GROSS!
Why is ASHley's cigarette in the ashtray upside down? See, the lipstick end is in the ashtray, and the smoked end is sticking out. Having a fail on a cake that is that wrecky already is just redundant.
-Kathy
I haven't seen a comment yet on the disproportionate size of Ashley's cigarette. Looks more like a roll-your-own joint. Not that I would know about that, of course.
I must respecfully disagree regarding the relative grossness of cigarette cakes versus pregnant torsos and creepy babies. I would definitely eat cake #1 before I'd eat anything that resembled human anatomy!
OMG I just vomited in my mouth a little. Those are truly the most disgusting cakes I have ever seen.
*hurl*
That first cake was so realistically done that it doesn't seem like it should be called a wreck. HOWEVER, it's so disgusting that it's the most wrecktastic disturbing cake posted here. I don't think I could eat one bite of that. Yuck-O.
I think they were quite well made, and a crazy person I have to say the ability to make cake unappetizing while still appearing well-made is quite a challenge indeed.
And here I was hoping for some good Groundhog Day cakes! Total disappointment! :)
actually I though that all the cakes with the exception of the donkey and the squashed cigarette of ASHley were avery nicely executed.
If you want to write "WHY?" to a cake I would have to go with the archived (please don't ask me where) cake featuring the naked woman in white chocolate seductively draped over a cake with bondage dark chocolate girls decorating the sides. That to me was a much more disgusting and unappetizing.
non smoker by the way but i believe in freedom to smoke.
As someone else mentioned, the Turkish one says "smoking shortens life" or "to smoke is to shorten life" so I guess it is some kind of anti-smoking cake? Maybe you are supposed to buy it for a chain smoking relative.
*groan* Oh, the puns! The puns! *chuckles* Nice work there. ;)
As for the cakes themselves, I can only ask, "WHY???"
Number1: your "cigarette lighter" joke wins all the prizes.
Welcome :)
a.
"From the size of it, I'd say that's *more* than just a cigarette..."
Yeah, no kidding! [nudge, nudge. Know what I mean, know what I mean...]
Here I was all geared up for a pee-stick cake to ruin my appetite today, but these are doing nicely as well.
Haha! After Ash and her buddies Char, Tar, and Pipe are done doing what they do, I guess the munchies will kick in and be what prompts them to actually eat that cake.
Um... Ashley's cigarette looks more like a doobie. Just sayin'.
P.S. Word verification is "torment"
As long as "Number One" doesn't get demoted to a nurse any time soon, I'm a-okay with the clone.
Unless Jen had to die by exploding tumor in order for us to meet the clone...years later.
Don't worry - I see the donkey too. :)
Trish
Totally a donkey! I could see it far easier than trying to make it into a cousin of the bear on the cake above (before) it ;-Þ
Oh, so gross! So, so gross!
That first cake - and quite possibly the last one as well - would be perfect for someone who's quitting or has recently quit smoking.
"See? See how gross this is? This is not you anymore! Go you!"
WV: unconeri. That first cake looks unconeri realistic!
Don't worry Number/Jen. I see the donkey. Remind me again why people smoke? You had wrecks to make people go on diets, now to quit smoking!
Baker: Tell me little something about your girlfriend so I can personalize her cake.
Boyfriend: Well, she's smokin'.....
Cake Wrecks was mentioned on The Bonnie Hunt Show today!!! Apparently Busy Phillips is a fan!! Congrats!
Today I'm celebrating 4 years being smoke free. These cakes made me remember why I'm a non-smoker now. :) :)
I am looking at your first picture of the ashtray and thinking "yuck"! It looks so real! I think I smell stale smoke....