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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen


Here's a bizarre message to find in a London display case:

Now, according to Mary there actually was an ATM behind her when she snapped this photo, so I guess it's a kind of edible FAQ page. Still, my question is: Where's the ATM when it's NOT behind me? And why even advertise where the broken toilets are?

Maybe it's some kind of European thing, Mary. You know: European? As in, you're...a...pee'in? Eh? Eh? Bazinga!

- Related Wreckage: Cake Writing 101: The Art of Spacing

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Reader Comments (127)

Possibly the bakery staff are just jack of answering these two questions.

February 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCherry Hatrick

That is really funny.
(Incidentally, while the rest of the world considers Great Britain European, I have yet to meet a Brit who thinks Great Britain is European...)

February 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I'm British and I consider myself European. Because of the Geography and everything.

I was terribly disappointed to realise you couldn't read this as a haiku. So much so that I am going to get a haiku cookie as soon as possible.
To wit:

Sugar overlord,
offering chips of wisdom,
and diabetes

February 9, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterrazzle

Love this british cw. My guess is this was a preemptive display--the bakery got these two questions ad infinitum.

There's a philly cheese steak shop in chicago with the following sign posted prominently:

"No - you can't have change for the meters.
No - we don't have public bathrooms.
No - we don't know what time it is.
No - we don't know when the next bus is.
No - you can't wait in here for the bus."

So my guess is the bakery employees were pestered a ton. Points to them for creativity!

February 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterEtiquette Bitch

I thought maybe it went like this:

New cookie decorator (NCD) is coming in for his first day, but the manager has to leave the stand before NCD arrives. Manager writes a note for NCD with useful information (location and working status of ATM, location of toilets, gee, what else could a new employee need to know?). Only paper to be found is the order sheets, so manager writes on one of those.

NCD arrives, sees a new order sheet and fills the "order" hoping to make a good first impression. ("People want the craziest things on their giant cookies these days," thinks NCD.)

Later they all have a good laugh and store the cookie in the display case for posterity.

February 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

@razzle: well, obviously I hadn't met you yet. :) Great Haiku, by the way.

February 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Am I the only one picturing this scenario?

Bakery employee: We can write anything you want on the cookie.
Customer: ANYthing?

February 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSylph

I love the Bazinga at the end!! :) Love Sheldon!!!

February 9, 2010 | Unregistered Commentertangentsntidbits

What's broken, the cash machine or the toilets?

February 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSexy Sadie

The decorating is a Mondegreen... often misheard lyrics to a song... I remember reading this in a book of them... just can't remember for the life of me what song it's supposed to be...

February 9, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterravenskye8

I love how the first several comments are "correcting" your interpretation. I can't believe people read this blog who can't identify a joke when it's sitting right in front of them. :)

February 11, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterbrandy

Sounds kinda creepy, almost. Reminds me of the Doctor Who episode "Blink".

I didn't see that before you mentioned it, but now I'm creeped out too.

"The cash machine is always behind you when you look over your shoulder, but when you look away, it runs off trying to steal the TARDIS. No matter how fast you turn around, it'll always be faster than you getting back..."

February 11, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterphantomcranefly

I wonder if that actually stops people making comments about the ATM or asking where the toilets are. I doubt it.

February 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterNay

Personally, I think this one would be the "Bakery FAQs" combined with POed Decorator syndrome.

My first job was in a craft store that was moving (hence, it being my first job. Requirements for employment were: Breathe+Pulse) We had three signs. One on the windows leading up to the door. One on the door. One in the middle of the through-way the customers had to walk to get to the craft stuff. We used everything we possibly could to make these signs eye-catching. Blue paper, neon orange letters. I think one person put glitter on the sign. All three were waist high. Written upon these signs were the fact that we were moving, when we were moving, where we were moving to and a general idea of how to get there.

Customers would walk past the first sign, open the door (thus passing the second sign) stop RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE THIRD SIGN and stare at all the empty shelves, and say "What's going on?"

I said "We're moving."

"What? When?"

I read this off the sign behind the customer.

"Where are you going to?"

I read this off the sign. For good measure I read the general directions because I don't want to answer that question again, either.

"You know, you guys should really have a sign up." The customer says.

I point at the sign. Customer gets that perplexed look on their face and goes off in search of faux flowers without saying another word to me.

February 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

actually my thought was that the ATM was often broken. just a thought though.

February 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Maybe it's a referebce to the night-time-musings of the Sleep Talking Man!

February 19, 2010 | Unregistered Commenter-M-

I think it says "Cash machine behind you often broken; toilets downstairs."

March 11, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTeh Notebook Ghurl

I think the cookie is missing a WORD. It should say, "Cash Machine behind you HAS often broken toilets downstairs." Must be like a slot machine. Maybe it delivers your ten pounds in coins? You never know how much money will fall out and through the floor. I want to play! Hit the jackpot, then buy lots of cookies!

March 11, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDaughterJudy

Dear everyone who has pointed out that the wreckerator forgot a comma: DUH. And our lovely cakewrecks editor KNOWS that. She's funny, see? Not stupid. Geepers.

March 11, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

It's like "a word journey," and in engrish too...

March 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterVeggieT

At first glance, not much, but I think very good.

December 11, 2010 | Unregistered Commenteracheter kamagra

Here you can find such culinary masterpieces, I'm just amazed.

December 11, 2010 | Unregistered Commenteracheter levitra

Looks very delicious, already salivating flow. This masterpiece of culinary art.

December 12, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterbest ed solution

How a little grammar can go a long way to confusing the world - loving it but why not just use a blackboard, why a cake..." rel="nofollow"> Mat Board

December 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMat Board

"People who don't get sarcasm are really smart."
-bumper sticker

Imma go out on a limb here and say... I think she probably knows where the comma belongs. yep, branch didn't break.


February 2, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

European, he's a poopin', and I'm a laughin'.

June 15, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Autocash blinks twelve
while autocookie works.
In space, use pencil.

July 21, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

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