My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Saint Patrick Would Be SHOCKED

Shocked, I say!

I mean, as I understand it ol' Patrick was a pretty conservative guy. So I'm going to go out on a limb here and guess that the whole "Kiss me, I'm Irish" thing was not his idea.

Apparently they needed all of the capital "I"s for "IRISH."
(And as we all know, the Irish hate apostrophes.)

Still, someone needs to tell these cookie cakes to stop giving us lip. Mostly because their lips are deeply, deeply disturbing:

First tell me what "Irist" means, and then we'll discuss which display of affection I'm comfortable giving you. Mmkay?

Given all the suggestive suggestions being suggested, you might think Wreckerators would be more mindful of their capital "L"s, too:

Granted, that yellow magnet does "suck," but blaming it on the Irish is a pretty polarizing move.

Let's end on a more positive note, though. After all, it is Saint Patrick's Day, and I'm sure he would appreciate a more appropriate expression of celebration.

Aw, that's doing Ireland proud, right there.

Btw, when did Peppermint Patties get canonized? (Not that I'm complaining, mind you; they are quite heavenly.)

Ok, forget appropriate expressions of celebration. Let's go out with one final insult to dear St. Pat:

[brightly] Today's word, boys and girls, is "prat." Puh-rat. Prat.

It has some really fun meanings, too, kids. Why don't you go look it up in the dictionary with your parents?

Terri J., Margaret C., Madeline, Chris H., Cathy W.,& Ruth S., since no one else is gonna say it, I guess I will: Happy St. Patricia's Day!

- Related Wreckage: Funny

Update: Apparently, St. Patrick was actually Welsh. Or was it English? Ohhh... and then he was kidnapped by Irish pirates. But he later returned to England to marry Buttercup after many madcap adventures with a giant, a Spaniard and an angry little man with a lisp. Everybody clear? Good, good...

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Reader Comments (128)

Hehehe... 'Pratric'. I do not think that word means what you think it means...

March 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMelissa

Capital cursive "m" has two "humps," so, yeah--lower case "m" should have three. This one also needs an apostrophe, and something maybe to be stepped on.

March 17, 2010 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

Since St. Patrick is famous for driving the snakes out of Ireland, I have only this to say…

“I’m sick and tired of these motherlovin’ cakes on this motherlovin’ plane!”

That is all.


March 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTigerwolf

And here I read through all the comments to make sure no one else would take the "anybody want a peanut?" reference, and there it was. Inconcievable!

March 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTiffany

I am twuly in wuv with this blog and your geeky references.

March 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMelinda

I have the Weasley boys of Harry Potter fame to thank for teaching me the word "prat" several years ago. Thanks a lot, Weasleys! ;)

If THAT didn't allow it to take off in the US, I don't know that it ever will.

March 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Am I the only person who sees a bikini bottom instead of lips on that second cake?
Someone already saw men's shorts in the "Suck of the Irish" -- does this say something about fans of Cake Wrecks, I wonder....

March 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAllen

Gah! Does anyone realize that St Patrick's Day is a Holy Day of Obligation in Ireland? A religious holiday, not a day of druken debauchery?

Word verification: spitia. verb ancient Irish Gaelic form of to spit; usage "I spitia on your insulting cake wreck." :o)

March 17, 2010 | Unregistered Commentertrek

I'm starting to think I look forward to Holidays for the wrecks alone, and the Princess Bride reference made my day!!! Thanks!

March 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterWideAwakeWife

Whoot! Princess Bride reference! Love it!

Um, but are those lips on those cakes or open wounds? Luckily I'm also Irish and therefore exempt from having to kiss them.

Happy St. Pratrick's Day!

March 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterHobbit

"I do not mean to pry, but you don't by any chance happen to have six fingers on your right hand?" Love Princess Bride!

March 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMaryanne

Wonderful! The Sainthood of Peppermint Pattie and her skill at baseball, and annoying Chuck, is now complete!

Isn't it fitting that a cookie for a Catholic holiday has a red cardinal on it?

March 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDan Bradbury

"My name is Inigo Montoya. You wrecked my St. Patrick's Day cake. Prepare to die!"

March 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Prat? I thought Spencer was one.

March 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Today's comments have my cube-neighbors thinking I've gone off the deep end. The laughter that spills out while trying to be suppressed is sniggerific.

My faves are Vanessa and Melissa! wootness!

March 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterRufus Opus

Mmm....St. Peppermint of Patty (or is it St. Patty of Peppermint) Either way, I think that day sounds delicious!

March 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLaurenH

Those baked goods are horrible (toxic orange icing, blahh!) but your final paragraph more than makes up for it. XD

I don't know whether to laugh at the 'big whoop' cake or take a shillelagh to it. That's my heritage you're dissing, dude! =P

Actually, all of these could probably benefit from a good shillelagh-ing...

WV: cowerdin...the wreckerator of the 'Big Whoop' cake cowerdin the corner when they saw the mob coming!

March 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMelissa (& Billy)

I think I could only say "St. Pratrick" if I was drunk! Maybe that's the idea?

March 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterNancy

See I read "Suck of the Irish" as "Duck of the Irish" which then explained the big headless yellow duck on the cookie... sort of.

March 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLiz

Have fun storming the castle!

wv: "suddlegr" - The Irish people reading the blog let out a suddlegr at the sight of the "Big Whoop" on the whoopie pie.

March 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLibby G.

Ah Jen....Happy St. Patrick's Day!
Celebrate.... you wish.

March 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMichelle P.

That one cake is not, in fact, inviting you to kiss it on the lips. It's inviting you to kiss its disembodied stomach.

March 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterThe Gravekeeper

Ok, the lips on the second lip cake do not resemble the ones reserved for faces.

And I love your reference to the giant, the Spaniard, and the Sicilian! I quote that movie every chance I get.

March 17, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterkwoods

England (Im English) didnt exsist until several hundred years after Patrick lived, the land now known as England was divided into Mercia,Wessex etc until after alfred the great in the 9th century.Ther were no English until then either. We are a mongrol people a mixture of British (now called Welsh) Saxons, Angles, Jutes, Danes, Romans as well probably and English is a composite language made up of a bit of many of the above a a few others!and Patrick was probably celibate although it wasnt compulsory in the Celtic Church.

March 17, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterdiddleymaz

yeah as someone from New England, despite someone already correcting you I have to back that up the Big Whoop thing is a NE thing. And I feel bad for every single person who's never had a whoopie pie, seriously. Y'all are deprived.

March 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterVaris

Oh great! Now I have Princess bride running through my head! "As you wish!" "No more rhyms, now, I mean it!" "Anybody want a peanut?" "I'm not a witch I'm your wife!" "Bye-bye boys Have fun storming the castle! Think it will work? It would take a miracle!" "Inconceivable!" "You keep using that word. I do not think it means, what you think it means" "My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father Prepare to die!" "It's not that bad . . . well, I'm not saying I'd like to build a summer home here, but the trees are actually quite lovely." And soooo many more! Love that movie!

March 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Second one looks more like a bikini bottom than lips.... and depending on who's it is, I might want to kiss it. :P

March 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Any Irish person actually born in Ireland would probably have a right fit over that third cake. Orange icing? Blasphemy! Orange is the color of the Protestants, and St. PaDDy's Day (note the emphasis on the D's, Wreckerator #5) is strictly a Catholic holiday as symbolized by the color green.

March 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterStephanie

Princess Bride references are the BEST! Too funny!

March 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnna

OK, am I the only one that didn't see the "L" in "Luck" as a capital "S" but rather a lower-case "f?"

March 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterThe Hoffman Kids

And as we all know, the Irish hate apostrophes.

Well, Irish doesn't actually have apostrophes. They're an English import. So, had the cake been in Irish, it would have been completely accurate!

March 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLena

Man, that "Suck of the Irish" cake is one letter f away from being more appropriate for an adult bakery.

March 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAddy

I'm pretty sure the yellow magnet is supposed to be the space at Blarney Castle where you lay down backwards to get the gift of gab.

That's my story anyway

March 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterK

The Princess Bride? That's what the last part sounds like...

March 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterShadowmark

What's up with the uterus on cake #2?

March 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMe!

Gem said:
"Roman. He was Roman and his name was Padraic -- thus, St. Paddy's day.
Not English, nor Welsh, nor Irish."

The Italian one was a different St. Patrick from the one who is the patron saint of Ireland. The one who converted Ireland came, as many others have said, from Great Britain.

March 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterGary

The "lips" in the second one looks like either a bikini bottom, as a couple people have said already, or a uterus.

March 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterPhil

If you know much Irish history, you know that "May the luck of the Irish be with you" is a curse. The Irish have had enough bad luck and misery for the whole world. The Great Hunger was only one example. So "Suck of the Irish" is not a bad assessment of the overall Irish experience with luck.

Thanks to Jen and my dictionary, I now know that "prat" does not mean what I thought it meant. Your prat is what you fall on when you take a pratfall.

March 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterGary

I think your update made me laugh even more than the post itself (which was already quite funny, by the way). Princess Bride references FTW! :)

March 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterStephanie

I love Princess Bride references!

March 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTwilightTwins2


March 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda

I think the "Big Whoop" cake might be a referance to Family Guy. There's a character who is Irish and short and says "Big Whoop, wanna fight about it" all the time. Atleast I hope it is

March 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKairi

<3 Princess Bride References

March 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLizard

Gary said: "The Italian one was a different St. Patrick from the one who is the patron saint of Ireland. The one who converted Ireland came, as many others have said, from Great Britain."

Saint Patrick was born in what is now Great Britain at the time when it was part of the Roman Empire. So yes, he was both a Briton and a Roman.

March 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterStephanie

nothing says St. Patty's Day like teeny tiny pots of gold... you'll never get ye hands on mah booty!
Check out my new blog - somewhat related :D

March 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCupcake Vigilante


Are you saying Padraic was a _Roman_ name? That sounds kind of unlikely.

March 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCatherine

The dark age or post Roman Celts are often refered to as Romano British as they clung to the civilsation and religion of the late empire but as most 'Romans' were not Italians or even from Rome itself, Padraig (Irish or Gaelic)In "The Life", Patrick is told of coming to Wales as a bishop and vowing to serve God at Glyn Rhosyn (now St. David's). But, he was warned in a dream that the place was reserved for someone who would arrive thirty years later. He was then shown Ireland in the distance by an angel as he stood on a rock called "the seat of St. Patrick." Patrick's mission was to evangelize the distant land, a task that he carried out in a remarkably short period.

The red dragon of Wales (Y Ddraig goch) goes back a long time, long before the Union Jack was ever put together. As a national symbol for Wales, it predates its adaptation by the Tudors. The dragon is perhaps the very first mythical beast in British heraldry. Legend has Macsen Wledig and his Romano-British soldiers carrying the red dragon (Draco) to Rome on their banners in the fourth century. It was adopted in the early fifth century by the Welsh kings of Aberffraw to symbolize their authority after the Roman withdrawal. By the seventh century, it was known as the Red Dragon of Cadwallader, forever after to be associated with the people of Wales. The ninth century historian Nennius mentions the red dragon in his Historia Brittonum and it was referred to by Geoffrey of Monmouth in his Historia Regum Britanniae written between 1120 and 1129.

Cymru am byth!

March 17, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterdiddleymaz

oh and really ghastly wreakage!

March 17, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterdiddleymaz

The Big Whoop was probably made by a decorator who couldn't get off work to party because he or she was stuck making crappy holiday desserts.

March 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBree

Anyone else think that the lips on the "Kiss me Im IrIsh" cake look like a little red bird without feet?

March 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

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