My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Five Awesome Things

[UPDATE: We have our winners! Grammy of Grammy's Garden and ZekesMom10 of Insane in the Mombrain, please e-mail me with your addresses. Thanks!]

Every now and then, we get comments from readers that go something like this:

"You know that cake you posted today? It wasn't that bad! Sure it was misspelled, and the icing looked like someone had spread it on with their tongue, and there was that feces border and thumb print - oh, and the dead bug was kinda gross. But did you see that rose?! Gorgeous!"


Well today, in honor of our friend Neil over at 1000 Awesome Things and the rest of you positive Pollyannas, we picked out a few Wrecks from our arsenal - and we're going to find something awesome to say about each and every one of them. Even if it kills us. Which, let's be honest, is entirely possible.


*pulling up happy pants*

Here we GOOOO!

Hey, it looks just like corn! And corn's a great source of fiber! Cleans you right out! And clean colons are awesome!

Look how artfully arranged the tablecloth is! The folds are so even! So regular! Being regular is also awesome.



I love noisemakers.

Not that you'd want to put these in your mouth, of course, considering where they've been...but, uh...yeah. Noisemakers are awesome.

Gee, that looks like a really sharp knife! It probably cut right through that hideous scarecrow thing, no sweat! In fact, I bet whoever cuts cheese with that knife doesn't have to strain at all.

Not straining while cutting the cheese? You guessed it: AWESOME.

Alright, now we're on the home stretch! [rubbing hands together] Bring on the final contender!

Oh, crap.

I mean, uh, oooo. Tough one.

Sure, there's a full load of things I could say here, but not many would be what you'd call "awesome." Hmm.




[back to thinking]

Ok, I think I got it:

You tell me.

That's right, tell me what's awesome about this Wreck in the comments. Why? Well, mostly for the glory. But also because you just might win Neil's book:

I've already read it, and believe me, it lives up to its name. And speaking of names, mine's on the back cover. So that's worth the purchase price right there. (Did I mention it's also half off on Amazon right now? Yeah. That helps.)

Now go forth, and comment! Whoever makes me laugh the hardest wins the glory, while two randomly selected commenters will actually win a personalized and signed copy of The Book of Awesome. I'll even have Neil do the personalizing and signing. [waggling eyebrows]

Oh, and Neil is willing to ship anywhere in the world. So Estonia, I'm looking at you.

Chloe, Tosha B., Anony M., Molly C., Jeff H., & Rachel V., go make me proud.

- Related Wreckage: The #2 Way to Ruin a Cake

[John's rule type stuff]
When you comment, be sure to put your name. If your name is something boring like John, be sure to follow it up with something creative like (the hubby of Jen). Or, ya know, your last name. And remember, we're picking two winners at random so if you happen to be painfully unfunny like me, you can still win. Winners will be announced at 2pm (Eastern) on Friday. Finally, if you don't win, you should still buy the book. We could all stand to focus a little more on the awesome in life. Good luck and Wreck On!

UPDATE: We have our winners! (See the top of this post.) Thanks, everyone; your comments have been the best free entertainment I've had all week. ;)

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Reader Comments (2218)

Chocolate! Chocolate is super awesome!

Molly B.

April 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMolly B. not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are a chocolate bunny, and may end up like this...

April 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTammy Jo

That chocolate cake is craptastic!

April 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDillypoo

It looks just like a chocolate dipped ice cream cone from Dairy Queen!

Well, once it has melted at least...

April 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKerry W.

Isn't that a great piece of marble it's sitting on??? Combine it with the knife from #5, then cutting the cheese just got even more AWESOME! I mean, that marble makes the cake come in #2 in the photo!

April 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBakingdom

The icing is so shiny! And smooth! And, uh, did I already mention shiny?

My word verification is "colywarl" which makes me think of a nice shiny colon. Shiny is good!


April 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKaryn

The marble slab is so nice and square. And the base of the cake is so nice and round. Shapes are always awesome. And, um, the upper portion of the cake is so nice and... lumpy... Lumpy is always... is... damn, I give up.

April 15, 2010 | Unregistered Commentermotherbynature

[pondering....] um... it would be an excellent educational tool to teach kids... why to watch what they eat... (YAeh!)

April 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKaity

The top looks like it might still be warm. Warm melty chocolate? awesome

April 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSkye

Well let's see... it looks like a collapsed beehive that someone just PLOPPED on there, and bees ARE awesome, in their own way. Kinda. And marble is awesome. And... oh, poo - that's all I can come up with.

April 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMe

I WAS about to eat breakfast. Now I think I'll just wait till lunch

April 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterD'Lyn

Chocolate frosting / Glazy, melty, tasty, warm / Into my gullet.

April 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJael

"My, goodness, how ... shiny. Why, I can see myself in the reflection."

Tricia Lee

April 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTricia

Okay, so Bob the Blob finds himself near inertia, having been shoved into a darkened cooler and set upon a fuh-reeezing piece of marble.

Never one to despair, the awesomeness that is Bob the Blob finds himself custard in front of him every time someone opens the door to the cooler.

The real dilemma,for His Awesomeness, is that the custard stands a better chance of escaping this fresh Hades than he has.

Alas, as the screen fades to black we see our hero shoved farther and farther back on the shelf. Everyone who enters muttering, "There's no way I'm touching that thing."

The End

CJ Anderson

April 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The fact that it's so shiny means it will easily distract, say, a charging 3 year old! Or a charging bear! Or a charging former president! So really, it can help you defend yourself in the wild.

-Mrs. Garrett

April 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMrs Garrett

The icing is so smooth and shiny it makes me want to shout "ca-ca doodly do-do"!!!! Awesome!!!

....di in la la land!

April 15, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterdi

It's so gorgeously shiny! And they so clevely left a section of the cake for people that don't like frosting!

~Anne the librarian

April 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnne

OK, here goes:

Uh ... that cake is awesome because ... it looks like it came out of the back end of an elephant. And elephants are awesome! Man, I love elephants, don't you?

Also, it's probably the shiniest poo you'll see all day. And shiny things are awe... uh, kind of nice (especially if you're a magpie).

April 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterGary

I should have worn Depends today because my awesome clean colon is spasming with laughter. LMFAO!! Too freakin' funny> I am amazed that people will actually be proud? of those "creations". Someone needs a slap...a positive one..LOL

April 15, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterkristine

Oh come on, this is too easy. I've never made a coating that glossy in my life. Glossy is AWESOME.

April 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterViiriƤinen

The last cake, and I use the term "cake" loosely, looks like the Sorting Hat from Harry Potter. And Harry Potter is awesome. In all seriousness, is there really anything better than ganache? No, I didn't think so. - Lori Lee

April 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLori

I think it's awesome that they are letting the horses roam the halls of the palace these days. So much better than the dirty barn.

Steve Nutella Man

April 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Just looking at that cake makes it easier to stick to my diet. And that is AWESOME!

April 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLisa Karon Richardson

The only thing even remotely awesome about the last wreck is the marble board. I want one of those!

A shiny poop cake? Not so much.

April 15, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterlearp17

What a beautiful piece of marble!! As soon as I've thrown the cake in the toile-- I mean trash, it will make a beautiful stepping stone in my garden!

April 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterHeather Leigh

I love how there's a little hole at the bottom of the beehive for the bees to get in and out of. That's very important in the honey making process. How awesome of the decorator to pay such close attention to detail. JILL READING

April 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJill

Just realized after seeing my above comment that my google account identity doesn't give my name... it's Heather. Too boring? Um, Heather the Buzzard. Yeah, that is actually my nickname. Don't ask.

April 15, 2010 | Unregistered Commentermotherbynature

Love that beautiful board it's sitting on. Also, the icing is so shiny
oooooooooohhhhhhhhhh shiiiiiny....

April 15, 2010 | Unregistered Commentermichelle

It comes with a surprise hidden underneath all that glossy chocolate. Correctly guess what is piled on top and you win!

April 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterA Girl In Her Kitchen

What's awesome is I imagine it doesn't smell like it looks!

April 15, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterironbunny

The baker left a hole in the icing so we could see the cake is chocolate, and made the icing SHINY so the light could gracefully bounce off of it, blinding us to the lack of symmetry in the whole thing. Then the baker artfully mounted the cake on a beautiful marble slab with accents that draw our eyes away from the cake. Wow!

Mary Craig

April 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMary

Whats awesome about that last cake? Chocolate ganache. Chocolate ganache is awesome.

April 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterRebecca M.

The awesome part about this cake is anything to do with feces make my husband laugh. Olivia Lefort

April 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterOlivia

It's so SHINY!

April 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCourtneyjoy

at least the icing has a nice sheen to it. someone knows how to temper chocolate. -olga korolev

April 15, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterokorolev

The surprise factor of course, who knows what you will find under that shiny chocolate...
I tried to imagine what could have such shape, but I really don't know.

April 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLesley

What a lovely marble base!

April 15, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterkerowynsmom

Well, it looks like an almost well shaped beehive that maybe wanted to be a volcano. Its nice.

April 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLadyWild

The cake has a lovely gloss to it. it reflects the light beautifully in the photo.

April 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAmberRenee

Krista D

Not wanting to be left out, the dog wanted to contribute something to the birthday party. Good dog.

April 15, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterkrista

"You tell me..."

Well, there is clearly a lovely little Hobbit hole in the cake! It must be Lord of the Rings themed. ;)

April 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCacodaemonia

Lovely cutting board. I mean who doesn't want a marble cutting board that is so sturdy it can hold an entire pile of... well... er... cake. Sturdy cutting boards are AWESOME!

April 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTrulina Darisa

The display case arrangers (because it is too well done for it to have been the wreckerator) were smart enough to put a cheesecake in the front of the display that is almost pretty enough to distract from the poo pile!

April 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMichelle

Lovely cutting board. I mean who doesn't want a marble cutting board that is so sturdy it can hold an entire pile of... well... er... cake. Sturdy cutting boards are AWESOME!

April 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTrulina Darisa

I can see the Virgin Mary in it!
Jeff Huong

April 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJeff

Look! It's a beehive made of chocolate! And with the crisis we're having with bees, chocolate hives might be just the thing to cure it!


April 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterNikki from Memphis

Ahhhh The Flow! Don't we all want some nice smooth shiny flow in the morning - There is really nothing more you can ask for!
(and what if you have a really common first name - like Cindy, but your last name is out of control crazy like Anderson?)

April 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCindy

The best part of the last cake is that the oddly shiny icing does at least cover up the horror that lies beneath it.

April 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSylvie

Ummmm yeah sorry, i got nuthin!

April 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterGina S

I like how the cake decorator wasn't deterred from attempting to make this look like a cupcake. Just because you have a flat 9 inch wide by 1.5 inch tall cake is no reason not to go ahead and add 7 inches of icing on top.

I can hear it now, "What? Why won't this icing pour out and settle like it does on a cupcake? Oh well, we're going for height not perfection."


April 15, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterstellablue

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