My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Getting a Bad Vibe Here...

Attn Parents: This post is not appropriate for young children. Or adults, really, but I won't tell if you won't.

Since I know you're curious about the behind-the-scenes workings here at Cake Wrecks, I thought I'd provide you with the actual dialogue between me and John while discussing a cake.

This cake:

Ready? Here goes.

Me: [calling to other room] "Hey, you don't know any vibrator puns, do you?"

John: [crossing the distance in approximately .7 seconds] "What are you working on?"

Me: "Oh, it's this one. I've got the 'bad vibe' thing going for the title, but now I'm at a loss. What else do you call these things? Do you know any euphemisms?"

John: [staring] "What's it supposed to be?"

Me: "Beats me. It just looks like a giant pink finger."

[both of us pause]

Me: "Hey, I bet that's one."

John: [unable to speak due to laughter]

John: [getting his breath back] "You HAVE to write this down."

Annnnd that's about it. By the way, I feel this is an excellent time to mention that, yes indeedy, we actually get paid now to do this. Living' the dream, people. We're livin' the dream.

Oh, and neither Lis B. nor I have any idea what that cake is supposed to be. However, since it was in the "kids cakes" gallery on the bakery's website I'm guessing it's probably some perfectly innocent character from a cartoon or something. No doubt many of you are preparing to point this out in the comments, too, so that the rest of us look like pervy malcontents. So, you know, I've got that to look forward to.

Livin' the dream, man. Livin'. The. Dream.

- Related Wreckage: Funny Business

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Reader Comments (345)

Yeah. Definitely getting the maxi-pad vibe from that one.

I think I just came up with a new invention! **flees to the Drawing Board**

April 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterRosemary Wessel

I had a friend who called hers BOB, short for "battery operated boyfriend".

April 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTawandaaa

Is it Barba Papa's wife?

April 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCMN

HEY! That's pervey with a capital P! ; )

April 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterStella

I don't know what the cake is, but "Pervy Malcontents" needs to be the name of an Alternative Rock band.

April 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

HA HA HA Karate Mom that is awesome!

April 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterRochelle

Loved the post, and I just scared my dad with my roar of laughter at Karate Mom's comment ... Poor Dad, he should be used to it by now, right ?

- Naomi

WV : rente > "Pay your rrrente, mademoiselle, orrr else ..."

April 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Following up on Karate Moms idea...

Better than a talk. Its a cake for her 'becoming a Woman' Surprise Party. "Surprise!" What young teen wouldn't love having all her friends share in this momentous occasion? The Wreckor Should have written on it, "Happy 1st Maxi Pad Day!"

April 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLisa

This is Barbabelle:

Only a sorta-kinda resemblance. I don't think that was what the decorator was going for. Given the abundance of butterflies, I give a vote for generic girly caterpillar...

I actually didn't think of anything dirty until all the options were pointed out to me. Thanks, guys, thanks a lot.

April 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTamara Marnell

I think its a pregnancy test.

April 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLydia

I asked my 3 year old neice what it was. She said, "That girl thing is a... uh... uh...uh... I don't know what that thing is!" I'm with her!

April 16, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterheatherthemom

To follow up on Karate Mom's comment...

Better than a private talk. Have a party to celebrate this milestone. What young teen girl wouldn't love having all her friends around to celebrate? "Surprise!"

The Wreckor forgot to write, "Happy 1st Maxi Pad Day"

April 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLisa

Why the long face?

It looks like a neck-less head to me.

April 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJessica

I must have a G rated brain... it looks like the face of a deco dame.

April 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMeg

Re: Barbepapa

Quit making me learn stuff, Ariea! I come here for a laugh, not smarts! LOL

WV: serche. The serche for intelligent life is going to be sadly disappointed by THIS planet.

April 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJillyBiehn

I'm thinking it's a weirdly distorted Barbabelle, or even a very feminized Barbapapa? (or it's just the work of a baker who vaguely knew what Barbapapa is, and just made something up)

April 16, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterxvxsister

I think it looks like a huge birth control Pill, though with the flowers, I'm getting the bad '70's "walk on the beach in soft focus/not so fresh feeling" vibe.

April 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

On the plus side, it appears to be a prettily decorated vibrator!

Now I want a tee-shirt that says "Pervy Malcontent" on it. :D

April 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTheWantonSeedStitch

Jen, John, thanks for letting us in on what's "shaking" in your lives. Errr...yeah something like that.

April 16, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterjengersnap

My purely innocent comment is surely this is supposed to be a baby shower cake and that's supposed to be a sweet baby and the swaddling blanket got left off of it on accident? (But in all honesty, I totally agree with Karate Mom, too!) :D

April 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

See, I thought that it might be a pink cell phone - flipped closed, of course.

Now, that's kind of a stretch, I know. Considering that the thing has eyes and stuff.

Still, you know how you can BeDazzle your cell phone. You know...if you wanna.

April 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterRosieLB

A textured tongue depressor?

April 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJeremy

It looks like a cheapo vibrator that would come as the prize in a box of Cracker Jacks....if there were adult versions of Cracker Jacks, that ;)

April 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJaime

I thought it looked like a pregnancy test stick..

April 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Okay, it doesn't really look like any of the things people have come up with (not your fault, people!), but here's my theory: The face, at least, looks kind of like Numberjack 1. So maybe it was a little girl's first birthday, and the customer said, "Like Numberjack 1. But pink. And with brown eyes, because our little girl has brown eyes. And more girly stuff like flowers and butterflies. Cool. Thanks!"

April 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJulia

Jessie -

I thought it was a sock puppet ... until you turned it into a vibrator for me and now a vibrator it will always be.

April 16, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterunomesowell

I can't put my FINGER on it... but something about it makes me think of Dora the Explorer (I want to meet the writer who thought that rhymed). Perhaps in the original sketch for the show instead of Dora having a map, she had a pad, this being a way to ease girls into puberty. "I'm the pad, I'm the pad, I'm the pad, I'M THE PAD!!!"
Or, perhaps the little girl to whom this cake was given had just come from the doctor and this was the cake decorator's idea of a "cute" tongue suppressant.

April 16, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterhilaryarlene

Well I have to completely disagree with it being a barbapapa unless the decorator had never seen one and had only had it poorly described for them.
My 3 year old actually said it was numberjack one before I had asked her so I'd go with that.
On another note, her name for my parents aren't grandma and grandpa, she calls them barbamama and barbapapa.

April 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterPellaBoo

It reminds me of some old characters on Sesame Street. Does anyone remember the little bugs who lived in Ernie's window box and made a little sketch about how they were going to go to the zoo? "We'll take the car to the zoo!" and they go off pushing the car to the zoo.

April 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTychaBrahe

My first thought: " Little Miss Happy Tongue"

My second thought: eeeeuuww!!

my wv: bewde; many interpretations
are both baudy and lewd, therefore

April 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterNiteNurse

Big Pink Happy Pill!?

April 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBrea

As someone who had a brief stint selling sex toys, this does in fact look like a vibrator. What's worse is that it's not the creepiest vibrator-with-a-face I've seen...

April 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMelaine

Totally looks like a "personal massage device". Probably meant to be a catepillar, given the sheer number of butterflies.

April 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterOKBridetoBe

I too think it look far more like a Maxi Pad...without wings obviously! :)

April 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJennifer

I wanted to point out that if you put the flowers upright then the smiling pink finger is tilted sideways. Maybe it's a surfboard.

April 16, 2010 | Unregistered Commentersiltedrepose

I'm voting tampon, clearly to celebrate that most precious day in a young girls life when she realizes that her life is going to suck for one week out of every four for the next several decades.

April 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterRhonda

I actually think it looks like it's from Miss Spider's Sunny Patch. It kinda has Spiderus' creepy marionettesque expression.

April 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMelina

Oh my. Oh my oh my oh my. And you two just keep me going during school.:D

April 16, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterthe mouse

If you really want to get that vibe from a children's show, you should watch Yo Gabba Gabba. Muno will give you that vibe with texture! Heh.

April 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterFunky Kim

It's glittery. GLITTERY.


(it's too bad because that is a lovely shade of lilac and the butterflies are cute. why couldn't they have gone for a bear or a bunny or something?)

WV:Surliqu--the spit curl on the forehead of a sulky child (who was the recipient of this cake!)

April 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMelissa (& Billy)

It looks like a maxi pad

April 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Weeeell, there's only one person that it could be..." rel="nofollow">Lady Cassandra O'Brien.Δ17 before her (or by then still his?) 530th surgery to prolong her life.

April 16, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterscatteredintime

Well, I don't think it's cute AT all!
It has that doll-/ mannequin-like, Stepford Wives-y, totally -glazed/stoned stare, for one (many) thing(s).
I've SEEN that look in museums... *shudder*... which has always creeped me out , be it on a person or on a food item. I don't want to eat something while it's STARING at me, for crying out loud. Okay--so it isn't really *staring* at anything. BESIDE the point!
Why is she/it bald??

Hey---say "she/it" really fast~~

April 16, 2010 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

Ask the bakery anonymously. Please? I have to know what they were thinking now!

April 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Looks to me like it's that most cherished of children's characters, Buzzy the Pocket Rocket.

April 16, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterabi

No cartoon character I've ever seen.... Frankly those blank eyes are a little "Boys from Brazil", so I wasn't going in the vibe direction.

wv: expeci "We expeci more of these cakes!"

April 16, 2010 | Unregistered Commenter~Anne

It's Polly Pocket Rocket!

April 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMama B.

Susan is totally right! Cassandra, from Doctor Who, was the first thing that came to mind when I saw it too.

April 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJessica

Didn't read all the comments so don't know if anyone gave you this euphamism yet. BOB = Battery Operated Buddy!

April 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterZephyr's Mom

Suddenly I have the urge to check if we have any AA's in the house...

April 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSabrina

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