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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Friday
Apr162010

Getting a Bad Vibe Here...

Attn Parents: This post is not appropriate for young children. Or adults, really, but I won't tell if you won't.

Since I know you're curious about the behind-the-scenes workings here at Cake Wrecks, I thought I'd provide you with the actual dialogue between me and John while discussing a cake.

This cake:

Ready? Here goes.

Me: [calling to other room] "Hey, you don't know any vibrator puns, do you?"

John: [crossing the distance in approximately .7 seconds] "What are you working on?"

Me: "Oh, it's this one. I've got the 'bad vibe' thing going for the title, but now I'm at a loss. What else do you call these things? Do you know any euphemisms?"

John: [staring] "What's it supposed to be?"

Me: "Beats me. It just looks like a giant pink finger."

[both of us pause]

Me: "Hey, I bet that's one."

John: [unable to speak due to laughter]

John: [getting his breath back] "You HAVE to write this down."

Annnnd that's about it. By the way, I feel this is an excellent time to mention that, yes indeedy, we actually get paid now to do this. Living' the dream, people. We're livin' the dream.

Oh, and neither Lis B. nor I have any idea what that cake is supposed to be. However, since it was in the "kids cakes" gallery on the bakery's website I'm guessing it's probably some perfectly innocent character from a cartoon or something. No doubt many of you are preparing to point this out in the comments, too, so that the rest of us look like pervy malcontents. So, you know, I've got that to look forward to.

Livin' the dream, man. Livin'. The. Dream.

- Related Wreckage: Funny Business

« Sunday Sweets: Cutesy Wootsy | Main | Five Awesome Things »

Reader Comments (344)

Steely Dan.

Harry

April 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

"Personal massager for sore back muscles! "
No?

April 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJuno

OMG,OMG,OMG,OMG,OMG,OMG,OMG,OMG,OMG,
OMG!!!!
The "kids gallery" seriously?!?!
What have people come to?
Funny as always, thanx!

April 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterScarlett Robyn

your readers are hilarious!

April 17, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterbabybinko

I think her name is Minnie Pad.

April 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMaria

caterpillar... i think... a very happy, pink looking one...

April 17, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterjezdamayel

On an unrelated note: Cakewrecks has officially "made it" as a popular culture reference. The comic Brevity has paid homage to the hilarity of icing fiascos! (http://comics.com/brevity/2010-04-17/#CMT_AddSection)

April 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

It looks like it's meant to be an earthworm, for spring. Who wants an earthworm cake? I've got no idea, but thats what it looks like to me!

April 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTricia

I think it is the Numberjacks One, only in pink for a little girls first birthday! And sorry if someone else posted this already there were too many comments to read.

April 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDiane

Definitely Numberjack 1 - and for some recursive meta-cakery, here's another numberjack cake to compare to!

http://www.pixiedustcakes.co.uk/numberjacks_detail_1.jpg

April 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBekka

Yeah it's a numberjack
number 1...it's a British Kids show that helps kids recognize numbers and count....they are scary and eat you in your dreams if you're poor at maths

http://tv.burrp.com/images/s/7/j/7jr53onf_5i0_1_300.jpg

April 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAlex

They should have put bees on it instead of butterflies to get in a nod the the buzzing...

April 17, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterkittenpie

Ooh ooh- I know this one! It's a 'Numberjacks' "1" cake (pardon the grammatical errors I'm sure I've made). When I first saw it, I wondered what was wrong, since to me it looks like a perfectly good numberjacks cake. However, if you don't have a toddler and don't live in England (no idea if the show is on in the States), I can see how the next option would be an eyelash-batting vibrator.
- Katie, Angie's Mom

April 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKatie

DEFINITELY Numberjack One.

April 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCakejack Two

I like the eyes. It's like looking into the soul of the finger, vibrator, maxi pad, thingy.

April 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I think it's a wingless butterfly.

April 17, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterkafigg01

Definitely seems to me to be a preteen larva cake (before blossoming into a butterfly... hence the butterflies/flowers??)... and if this is indeed a preteen larva cake, it makes things no better than if calling it a vibe cake... though all of this speculation too seems inherently inappropriate in a malcontentious manner.
Whilst looking up "larva cake", I found this gem:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/thepillarsofheaven/3985140543/
Which is just the sort of thing I'd expect from my favorite psycho-killer-slash-stalker on Valentine's.

I don't want to probe the intent of this cake anymore.

~Mir

April 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMir

I think it looks like a tampon.

-Sidney

April 17, 2010 | Unregistered Commentermissgreenslate

I can't stop laughing... i actually have a vibrator that looks just like this.

April 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Tammy Wadsworth the Tampon Applicator! Oh my gosh, I used to have that doll when I was just a little girl! Such fond memories, ah! If I remember right, she came with a cute little white pet mouse!

And what was the other character's name? Oh yes, it was Maxine Paddington. Commercially she never was a success--for some reason kids never got into playing with a doll that had adhesive on her back.

wv: yperided
...Tammy and Maxine were the characters in the well loved children's show, Yperided.

April 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTammy Wadsworth
April 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSarahW

Maybe it's a jelly bean.

April 17, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterserns

Back the Eff up! You get PAID to do this???

Whoa whoa whoa!!! 200+ comments and I'm the first to mention it?

Mind: boggled.

I have no clue what that cake might be. At all.

April 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterStarfish, darling!

(Do I hear TRUMPETS...???)
(Is that the sun~~breaking through the dark clouds??)

Yes! There IS a GOD!

I don't even care WHAT the dang thing is--the IMPORTANT thing is that (mainly since there's no reason to) NO ONE (!) used the "S" word to describe it. (!!!!!)
We've moved on...we've finally moved on....

*HUGE sigh* =^u.u^=

April 17, 2010 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

Number 1?
Looks more like number 2.
But if it's cake, I'd eat it.

April 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

To make that cake you need a stiff batter, and no I wont go into the icing, now stuff it into that hot oven of yours and dont let it out until the job is done. Spread the icing evenly!

April 17, 2010 | Unregistered Commentercaferacers66

caferacers66 said...
"To make that cake you need a stiff batter, and no I wont go into the icing, now stuff it into that hot oven of yours and dont let it out until the job is done. Spread the icing evenly!"
**************************
Hmmmmm.
So it's ALL BUSINESS with you, is it?
Where's the subtlety? The nuance?
A cake likes--nay, NEEDS-- to be carefully prepared...not just a "Slam/ pan/ bake you ma'am."
A really effective *baker* looks to the READINESS factors, such as: Is the oven hot enough yet? Is the pan well-greased?
With an approach such as yours, why, it's quite like eating dessert before sampling the appetizer...
Well, to each his own~~but *I* for one wouldn't want you in MY kitchen--not unless you've at least given the windows a chance to steam up!
=^u.u^=

April 17, 2010 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

This is the closest thing I've found that looks like it on the internet... sad how much time I spent looking!

http://threesillychicks.blogspot.com/2009_09_01_archive.html

(No worries, completely SFW.)

April 18, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterRana

I think "personal device" was the euphemism you sought.

April 18, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnn

It sorta reminds me of the flat face lady on Doctor Who...sorta like her baby picture or something!

April 18, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Mitochondria!

April 18, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTracy

The only euphemism I know is BOB-Battery Operated Boyfriend

April 18, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterHeather

Looks to me like Numberjack 1, a British Children's show, although 1 is supposed to be light purple. one of the largest pictures I could google is here. http://www.sockshop.co.uk/products/boys_numberjacks_1_socks/index

~Melody

April 18, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMelody

It's clearly one of the ghosts from Pac-Man. :V

April 18, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDan V.

It's obviously Britney Spears. Why is that so hard?

WV: derit. "Derit is."

April 18, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSusan

EricaKawa
Well I think it looks like a Japanese baby treat. If you look at the link you will see what I mean. It looks just like the rice cracker but with a face. Over here they love to eat cute looking things. Ha ha. (This is more for you Jen) http://onionikids.com/baby-foods-baby-snacks/wakodo-baby-snacks/wakodo-baby-rice-cracker-from-6mo/prod_296.html

April 18, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I'm thinking it's a tampon cake to go with the "I got my period" party! They actually sell complete party kits if you want to give a girl a party for "entering womanhood". It's really tacky, but I've seen the webpage for it.

April 18, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSixxlet

I had to post just because my wv is so good: horsorgo

heh heh

Really, though, I LOVE how so many of the people attracted to this sight are themselves kinda snarky, making the comments as much fun to read as the actually cakewrecks.
=`)

April 18, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterPapi and Wee Granny

I see a tampon commercial in the making...

April 18, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterHannah the Fish

It looks like something from PeeWee's Playhouse!

April 19, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterPickle Plum

You SHOULD be getting paid for this. Your blog brightens my day, every day! Keep livin' the dream my friends...keep livin' the dream.

April 19, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Thought it was a tampon.

April 19, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Our euphemism around these parts is Bob - battery operated boyfriend. Dunno if that helps any.

And I've watched a lot of cartoons, both growing up and with my kids, and never, ever seen that character.

April 19, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMary

I was thinking more like part of a pregnancy test. That could be quite the way to announce the news to the father-to-be :)
"Sweetheart, I made some dessert! Now, remember the weekend of your birthday? Wellllll...."

Michelle

April 19, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I'm going to take a wild stab and says it's Barbapapa. He was a big, pink, shape-shifting blob and an environmentalist or something. This was from 1970s kids' books and I'm not that old, but I had one for some reason. I remember the Barbapapas took all the animals to space because humans were polluting the planet...

April 19, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTravesty

248 comments! Speaks for itself! You have an amazing following! :<)

Wishing you well!

Barbara Diane

April 19, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterWhimcees

You guys are having way too much fun... and getting paid to boot!

I don't know about anyone else, but as soon as I saw that character I got the song from http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=44IFYB1icx0&feature=related stuck in my head!

-Kiran

April 20, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKiran

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