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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Wednesday
Apr282010

The Cat's Meow

 

{cue sexy saxophone music}

 

"Oh my... Hello, beautiful lady. I didn't see you come in. Welcome to The Kitty Den, where all of your wildest fantasies can come true. I was just about to slip out of this stiff collar and enjoy a fresh bottle of wine by the fire. Won't you... join me?"

 

"This wood is big enough for two."

"Or purrrhaps you'd prefer to snuggle with someone a bit more... soft?"

 

 

"His claws have been trimmed and he was flea-combed just for you, baby."

"But maybe you're the kind of girl who likes things...dirty."

"Our alley cats are ready for a roll in the hay (or chocolate shavings, if you so desire)."
"That's right, sugar. Here at The Den, our fancy felines fire all of your foxy fantasies."

 

 

"Oh, don't mind Gary. He's just our I.T. guy."

 

 

Thanks to Violet, Ginger, Kat (how appropriate), and Mary for these handsome hunky hairballs. Mrrow...

- Related Wreckage: Stop the Insanity!

 

« A "Dreme" Come True | Main | Flotsam Plops »

Reader Comments (103)

I read the entire thing in Antonio Banderas's voice from Shrek. That made it ten times funnier.

April 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTaylor@MyOlderBrothers

Happy 16th "Negar"? What an odd name.

April 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAdam S

I'll bet that a little while after eating any of those you'll cough up a frosting fur ball.

April 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda W

Aw, those are cute...ish.

April 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterNYCGirl

Taylor, I on the other hand, read it in the Tim Meadows' voice as he portrays the ladies man with a glass of courvoisier.

http://naked.actors.nu/photos/996250/ladiesmanvideorelease-timmeadows.jpg

With the lisp an all. Then I coughed up a hairball.

April 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterD Dennis

AWH...melt my crazy cat lady heart. I see nothing wrong here, except the last one. A little too plastic looking.

April 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterStella

I hate flotsam!!!...it is so sad to me that when I was a kid, the choices for cakes at a grocery store actually required some knowledge of cake decorating, now the choices are all just sheet cakes with flotsam all over them.. ew gross.... and that last cake is TERRIBLE.... although I have to be honest, when i was a kid, I would have LOVED that second cat cake...it looks so cuddly... sort of... :)

April 28, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterlaura beth

A Blue Cat? Really? Wow.

I live with two kitties and neither resemble any of these creations... i think i'm suddenly allergic to cake cat

April 28, 2010 | Unregistered Commentermn_me

That second one looks really nice. Also it looks like my cat.

April 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

ROFL, I ALSO read it in Pussycat's voice from Shrek. I love it!

wv: Caliagg..I think my cat just caliagged up a hairball

April 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDznyjenn

Awww...dirty kitty is a sad kitty.

April 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterStacie

How do you pronounce "Negar"? Poor girl to have such a horrible name.

April 28, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterlilith

This hurts my brain. Cats are not to be eaten!

April 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMiranda

I read those with Barry Manalow in my head. Creepy.

The last one...the bluish grey frightfest...I think that looks more like a wet greasy hairball :P

April 28, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterjengersnap

Hahaha, I had Puss 'N Boots in my head, too! It really did make the whole thing funnier =)

And yeah...Adam S....I thought the same thing.

WV: cansl Well. This one is just too easy.

April 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJuly19

How unfortunate! I hope to never, ever, ever have to make an animal cake. I just don't get them.
That being said, the eyes and ears on the one with chocolate shavings are adorable! (but only the eyes and ears.)

April 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJenni

I admit, I started looking at these kitty cakes and I thought "they don't look TOO bad".

But the farther I got in the post, things seriously went downhill!

April 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterNectarine

The name Negar isn't odd, it's Persian! And I hope she had a happy 16th, despite the dustmoppy cat cake.

April 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBridey

Wait - who names their kid "Negar?"

April 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMama C

That first cake actually looked pretty well done I thought.

But please, don't even joke about declawing! It's such a horrendously cruel thing to do to a cat. They don't just remove the claw, they actually amputate part of the cats toe. It really should be illegal and joking about it just makes people think it's okay. *shudder*

April 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnnette

NICE!! Read that with Tim Meadow's "Ladies Man" voice and it's about a million times funnier :)

April 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJennie

Negar? Did people name their kid Negar? I can't even digest the cake wrecks because I can't get past that name.

April 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Other than that loaf cake with the plastic cat face stuck to it (was that supposed to make it look cat-like? seriously??), it strikes me as just wrong to cut up and serve a cat. Even one made from cake. Even when one is a dog person!

April 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAliza

at the risk of being flamed... I really like the 2nd one. I think it's really cute!

Yiskah (sneaking away before they can get out their flame throwers)

April 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterYiskah Sarah

Oh, great. That's at LEAST six more weeks of therapy. Thank you. Thank you very much.

April 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKae

oh my, the 2nd one was a little cute for a child's birthday (if one doesn't mind inhaling all that awful frosting), but for a 16 year old? sad!

April 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLittle Lovables

It’s Furry Day at Cake Wrecks! Hmm, let’s see… Actually, the first two aren’t that bad, except the first one looks like somebody’s perky assistant, and the second one...ow, those manga eyes are killing me! Then we have the Peter Lorre Cat Cake! “Yess, Massterrr, I’ve tooold you over and oooover to stoooop thee smoooking. So nooooow I have destroyed your – heh-heh-heh – ashtray!!! *Snicker!*” And finally, what cat-lover doesn’t want a surly-faced, bored cat with a body like a blue cinder block for dessert?

^..^

April 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTigerwolf

My son looked at the last cake and said",Poor Kitty." I think that says everything.

April 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCyndi

Yeah, I didn't think the first couple of cakes were that badly done, except when you think about the idea of eating someone's cat. Then it becomes bad. But, um, dirty cat? I'm just NOT going there.

April 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTrevor

From looking at that first cake, I think it's obvious that's a wolf in cats clothing, just waiting for his next innocent victim.

April 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMegan (Best of Fates)

Ohhh, now I get it. In that Tokyo Breakfast video on YouTube, they were just all named Negar!

April 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I looked at #3 and said aloud- "that cake is ugly". My 4 year looked up and said, "why? because it has bugs on it?" She then looked at #4 and said "that cake is scaring me!" I love the honesty of children.

April 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKelli

to Annette: declawing is (rightfully) illegal in most countries because it is, indeed, a horrific and barbaric mutilation.

To cakewreck staff: please don't even joke about declawing :(

April 28, 2010 | Unregistered Commentergoose-entity

You people making fun of Negar's name are aware that names from other cultures do tend to sound different from American names, right?

April 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Um, folks, before you jump all over that name you should do a quick Google. Here's just one I came up with:
http://babynamesworld.parentsconnect.com/meaning_of_Negar.html

Gender: Girl
Origin: Afghan
Meaning: Sweetheart

and back to wreckiness, I didn't think that first one was too bad, but the more I looked the more I saw how disproportionate it is - not to mention that crazy expression...

April 28, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterpam

To Goose-entity and Annette,

Sorry about that. I guess I missed that and you're absolutely right. We have two beautiful cats and Jen gently trims their claws about once a week though by the looks of our curtains, you wouldn't know it.

I changed the wording though it doesn't flow quite as well now.

Thanks for making a valid point in a kind and thoughtful way.

john

April 28, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterjohn (the hubby of Jen)

The frightening thing is that the second kit is very well done. So much so that there's no way on earth I could cut into that thing. It looks far too much like a cat we own!

And I read the whole thing in Puss in Boot's voice too! Tried Tim Meadow's, but it wasn't as good for me.

And I'd have to hear Negar pronounced to determine whether it is pretty or not.

April 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJani

LOL at the dirty cat. It's hilarious that someone would make that and actually sell it to someone. I have to disagree with most, I don't even like the first two. I'd say the only halfway passable one is the first one. The second one is just scary looking and it's just a huge lump of spiky frosting. ANC I don't know about you, but when I turned 16 I would have been mortified to get a cake like that. And the last one? Come on people, stop sticking plastic on everything and calling it a cake. Kinda like just because you stick "fur" on something, it doesn't make it a cat.

April 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJamesterCK

Don't have much to say about the cats, as I am wondering which of you posted this:

http://ihasahotdog.com/2010/04/28/funny-dog-pictures-sprinkles/

April 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterFluffy Cow

The last one had me choking back laughter so my coworkers don't hear!

I'm an I.T. person, and while I'm decently well groomed (though not particularly great, as I rarely wear makeup and don't really style my hair), my boss looks about like that last cake. Dude would rather go to the dentist than the barber. Not what I expected at the end of a cat brothel post!

April 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I read it with Barry White's voice echoing in my head. Cake #2 looks just like my cat, except his head is smaller than the one on the cake. Not sure which would be worse -- cutting into it or consuming all that icing.

April 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTricia L

I read in the voice of Christopher Walken's SNL character, The Continental.
"Stay, stay for a glass of champagna."

WV=fureigai "That ain't no cat..that's some sort of fureigai."

April 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKate

Except for the last one (which is horrifying), the cakes don't look very wrecky to me. (the wood paneling under the first one is another matter)

The black and white one looks delicious. I bet it tastes like cookies and cream. Unless under that white frosting and crushed oreos, it's lemon-flavored. D:

April 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSharon

*shudder*

April 28, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterdietplaid

How appropriate. I read somewhat that yesterday was hairball awareness day!
June C.

April 28, 2010 | Unregistered Commentersewbug

Is it just me, or does the second one look like it was groomed with a fork? And the first one has glass eyes like a taxidermy exhibit. Eww.

April 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKeeley

I have to comment about "Negar" as I have a colleague with that name.

It is a girl's name and is pronounced nee-gar. It is a Farsi name meaning sweetheart.

April 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterRosieLB

Trying to think up some "catty" comments, but "Memories" is somehow stuck in my head.

April 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMay

I have often threatened to make our cats into cake if they didn't stop doing bad cat things...now I know what that would look like. I picked one of the furry things up and put her in front of the computer screen to show her this fate (also known as cake #4). She made a very odd un-cat-like noise and ran.

Mission accomplished. Thank you CakeWrecks!

April 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLeftWingLock

How ironic! I was actually listening to sexy saxophone music before I viewed this page! (good ol Kenny G)

April 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJanessa

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