My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

A "Dreme" Come True

"Welcome back to round one of the National Wreck Bowl, folks. Our reigning champion, Pat Wüfflehausen, has filled his pastry bags and is ready to attempt a new world record.

"Greg, this is obviously a huge challenge for Wüffelshausen. What do you think he's feeling right now?

"Well, he ate the same lunch we did, Pete, so probably nauseous and constipated."

"Hey, I did warn you about those samosas, buddy. Aaaand here we go! Our champ is now in position. Looks like he's assessing the area...he's preparing to pipe...and...

"A-HA! Would you look at that? Right out of the gate, he has destroyed the first word!"

"Tell me, Greg, how many points would you say that misspelling is worth?"

"Oh, I have no idea."

"But if you had to take a shot in the dark?"

"Well, I'd probably spill it."

"No, no, I mean...Uh, tell you what, let's just move on to round two."

"YES!! Wüfflehausen just manages to knock out the second word! That was quite a close call, turning the 'I' into an 'E', don't you think, Greg?"

"Only when absolutely necessary, Pete."

"Haha, sounds good. Well, folks, this is it: the final round. And, uh-oh! Look what just got plunked down on the playing field!

"Greg, it's going to be pretty tough for Wüfflehausen to misspell "achieve" with that star stamp right next to him. Do you think he can pull it off?

"Well, sure! It's just a tiny plastic pick - probably doesn't weigh a thing."

"No, no, sorry, that was my fault there, Greg. I mean, do you think he can do it?"

"Do what?"

"Right, let's get back to the action! The crowd is hushed with anticipation, and you can almost feel the tension in the air, can't you, Greg?"

"Abso-lutely not!"

"And here we go...and, oh! Oh! It looks like he could...go...all..the...way!

"YES!! Do you believe in miracles?!?"

"Well, there was that time my mother-in-law fell down the stairs..."

"And that's a new World Record! To those of you at home, thanks for tuning in, and good night!"

Annie, I think I'd call this the "Hale Mary" of Wreckerating.

- Related Wreckage: The Teacher Tearjerker

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Reader Comments (135)

Dyslectics untie!

Loved, loved, loved the commentary! I want those broadcasters to follow me around for a day.

"I don’t think Abby can procrastinate any longer. Surely some work must... What’s this? Opening a browser? Heading to Cake Wrecks! Can you believe it?"

"I believe in Leprechauns."

"What a champ."

April 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAbby Normal

Something was rolled into that diploma.

April 29, 2010 | Unregistered Commentercheryl

I think my favorite part was, "I'd probably spill it." Haha, that was delightfully clever. Thanks for the morning pick me up!

April 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterChloe

Wow, I could almost hear the two announcers from Celebrity Death Match in my head!

April 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDavid C.

Wouldn't it be considered a hat trick?

April 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterHeather

I don't know whether to laugh or cry.


It was made a million times better with the commentary. Love this!

"But if you had to take a shot in the dark?"
"Well, I'd probably spill it."

Not me! I read this and promptly spit my beverage instead. ;^) This is a truly inspired entry by an epic "fail cake". You guys must be P.D.Q. Bach fans!

April 29, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterflying gargoyle

I'd totally buy that for my English major graduate. "Congrats, kid. You now are an expert on a dy-, sorry, the evolving conglomeration that is the 'English' language."

conGLOBeration? conBLOGeration? Gee, what new concept can I synergize today?

WV: ablert -- Yup, Ablert, you're on your way now.

April 29, 2010 | Unregistered Commentermsyendor

This post reminded me of Tiger Words on Between the Lions. But then, Tiger only got points for spelling things right. . .

April 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

PDQ Bach reference?

April 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJason

I was torn between reading that as 'Best of Show' commentators and the ones from ESPN 8 (The Ocho!) in 'Dodgeball' Too funny!

April 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLaurenH

The cherry on top has to be the "diploma" ROFL - yeppers. Totally explains why most college-aged kids can't spl thr wy out of a wt ppr bg.

April 29, 2010 | Unregistered Commenteralynxia

How do you do it, Jen? You're faced with the same, unending drudge of misspellings (and godawful color, scheams), and yet you still manage to come up with original, hysterical commentary. Is it all those shots in the dark?

At any rate, well done, my Wreck Master, well done. I look forward to "Gradaiton" season!!

April 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterFlartus

I think you mean the "Hale Merry."

April 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous


April 29, 2010 | Unregistered Commentertheelfqueen

... or the "Hale Merrie" of decorating.

April 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLori-Anne

the irony that this is a graduation cake. passive aggressive high school dropout wreckerator? shouldn't these words be spellable by 5th grade though? sheesh.

maybe it IS an ESL problem. an argument for immigration reform?

April 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

$8.99 for that?? I have to admit, this is now one of my favorite CW posts. Marvelous commentary. "Probably doesn't weigh a thing." HA!

April 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAbby

I think the most shocking part of this post is that the bakery is charging $8.99 for those spelling mistakes. That's quality work!

April 29, 2010 | Unregistered Commenter-T

Kay, your wv: popoopup is the sound the un-tamped frosting bag makes as the wreckerator pipes on plops!

My wv: ectis, as in, "What the ectis happened?"

April 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterPapi and Wee Granny

BEST. CAKE. EVER. I would buy it and have a party in it's honor!

April 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKristine

I learned from a dear friend that when people misspell things they think they are spelling it right so feel no need to check a dictionary. My ex hubby spelled 'people' as 'peeple' and he was over 50 years old. He thought it was correct every time he wrote it.

We will always have people who misspell with us, which means Cake Wrecks can be with us forever.

So, that's all good. :)

April 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBrat

Great. I heard the primary narration of this one in Greg's (Whose Line) voice.

You gotta stop putting these voices in my head, Jen, or one day they won't go away again!

April 29, 2010 | Unregistered Commentershadow

Loved the commentary. Had the Sports Classics commentator in my head the whole time. Brilliant!

Just a heads up:

Nauseous means you make people want to throw up. Nauseated means you feel like you need to throw up.

Could make future wrecks even wreckier!

Love, love, love the blog!

April 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCeleste

@Jason - I totally thought of the concert casting too when I read this! "AAAnd they're off with the four note theme!"

I would love to see more of the Wreckcasters!!

April 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLemony Fresh

I love that SNL skit! Jen, you are hilarious!

April 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterPriscilla

I was totally hearing Cotton McKnight and Pepper Brooks (AKA Gary Cole and Jason Bateman) from ESPN8--the Ocho!--in my head. This was perfection!

April 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJanelle

I am choosing to believe that the misspellings are a joke for the new grad.

The commentary was brilliant, though. Loved the "shot in the dark" one. ^^

April 29, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterkrillia

pure funny right there.

April 29, 2010 | Unregistered Commentercaferacers66

EVERY. SINGLE. WORD. MISSPELLED. (Strangely, I spell-checked that last word in Word 2007 and it is ok two ways: "misspelled" and "mispelled". But Firefox doesn't like "mispelled." Anyone care to debate?)

April 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLiane

that's why i love cake wrecks... :D

April 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

That has to be the funniest thing I've read this week!

April 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterShannon

Anyone besides me hearing Eric Idle's voice as you read this post?

April 29, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterdarus67

oh wow- that was a dremey and auinspiring wreck. New hites of wreckness indeed.

April 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJolly

That is farntastek. :S

April 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKayleen the Violinist

Maybe it was deliberate: You only get your diploma if you spot all the misspellings.

WV: miescend: A descent in status due to misspellings.

April 29, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterelissa

I believe this is one of your all-time best posts.

April 29, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterthe mouse

Jen, you are all that is betwien me and insanety. Thanks so mush for this wanderful post.

As a perfessional proofraeder, naterally I was delited.

LOVE this blog;)

April 29, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterrascalmom

LOL It is like my diaree full of similar misspelleengs lol

April 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Your announcers are totally Pete Twinkle & Greg Stink from SNL, aren't they? :)

April 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBecky

Please tell me this was a joke, I can't fathom someone actually making that many errors on a cake.

April 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterThe Black Dog

Next up - "If you can Dreme it, you can Acheive it!!" Including the quotation marks, of course.

Irony for me here is I know a woman named Mary Hale. Yesh.

April 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLisa

All you needed was the sponsorship of a feminine hygiene product.
Very funny!

April 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKayla

"I before E except after C. Well, technically they're after a C."

April 29, 2010 | Unregistered Commenteri-leaf-evan

Third time's a charm. Shows what our education system really prepares us for. Misspelled cakes.

April 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCakelady72

A misspelling trifecta!


April 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCourtney

Here's a little help...
"i before e except after c
or when sounded like a
as in neighbour and weigh "

As for the other ones...I can't help the decorator there." rel="nofollow">

April 29, 2010 | Unregistered Commentern00b programmer

And to think that someone paid $8.99 for that masterpiece!

April 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I would call it a "hat trick"!

April 29, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterkelly dwyer

Guess this wreckerator didn't "acheive" quite enough, did he?

April 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterShayna

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