My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Sobering Celebrations

Choosing the right cake design to go with your message is key. After all, you wouldn't want anyone to get the wrong idea, now, would you?

Aw, now there's a warm welcome.

(And if you think an overly enthusiastic volunteer fire brigade might spell disaster, you're wrong. It spells "neiborhood.")

Baptism, baseball...they both involve dunking, right?

[UPDATE: I have just been informed that baseball does not, in fact, have dunking. Apparently that's hockey. My bad.]

Ah, Niko. That boy is creeping up on death like a herd of geriatric turtles. Why, it seems like only yesterday you were playing with Thomas the Tank Engine, huh, Niko? Maybe because it WAS only yesterday, but still.

(No, the 5 is not a typo; this really was for a fifth birthday party.)

Whoops, Karen T., Karen G., & Tammy C., apparently geriatric turtles come in flocks.

- Related Wreckage: Mixed Signals

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Reader Comments (107)

A bale of turtles?? Now we know why they move so slowly. I'm gonna look for a turtle baler at the next farm show.

April 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKeeley

Happy Hogsfa- ... wait, Darth Vader's subbing as the Grim Reaper? Discworld meets Death Star? ("Lord Vader, we've spotted the rebel fleet and, and a Giant Space Turtle? *Ack*choke*)

April 9, 2010 | Unregistered Commentermsyendor

The word "Baptism" is awfully close to the baseball player's scrotal area, if you catch my drift...


April 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Are we sure that that's Death, and not a Sith Lord? Because I could see either one.

April 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I sure hope Niko didn't pick out that design himself...

April 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKallie Sims

I don't know about a five year old, but a boy a little older would probably love that cake. When my son was 8 or 9, he loved the Goosebumps series. I got him an over the hill cake, complete with tombstones and vultures. I added a couple of Goosebumps toys I had collected, and it became a Goosebumps cake.

April 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDee

Unless the pitcher is at the carnival dunking booth. Then someone will definitely get dunked. If the pitcher is any good.

April 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnna

Don't be so surprised by Niko's cake. He's a 5 year old boy, he probably just thinks the grim reaper is awesome. I know I did when I was 5. I still do. That cake is awesome.

April 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Wouldn't a typo on a cake be a pipe-o?

April 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSix31

Maybe Niko's cake is an illustration of that classic Country & Western song, "I Don't Know Whether to Kill Myself or Go Bowling" (the birthday boy's favorite song?).

April 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterGary

So, is this just a case of "number 5" in the customer's cake design catalog is actually "number 8" in the decorator's book?

I am another fan of the Percy Jackson books! I don't think they will win any literary awards, but they are good fun. Nice quick read on a rainy day or at the beach. :o)

April 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I can't believe that cake was for a five-year-old. I feel really sad for him! What an upbringing he must have.

I didn't even see "Baptism" at first.

My WV is "obarmers," you know, like those people who like the current president.

April 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Enough with the Percy Jackson spoilers!!! AAAHHHHHH!!

April 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

My dad is a fireman in the small town I grew up in and I think the city should be required to buy that cake for all new residents. That's just how sweet my city is (I say that with as much sarcasm as possible)

April 9, 2010 | Unregistered Commenteralspencer

Wow. Is there anything else to say? That is, besides




and non-important stuff like that. :) Seriously funny!!! :)And don't blow a lung over the "dunking" hockey mix-up; if it weren't for the sporty friends in my life, I wouldn't even be able to tell a baseball from a tennis ball...truthfully and honestly.

April 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterStoich91

I laughed all the way through. Very funny!

April 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCookieMonster

I'm thinking "promotional gift" from Your Friendly Local Insurance Company on that house cake; and I hope they brought hot dogs to the party 'cause there's ALL kinds of ketchup and mustard squirted around the scene. (But ugh-the blurry background makes my eyes fog up.)
The Darth Reaper/Grim Vader cake isn't all THAT horrible, except that the lid of the box flattened the top of the tomb (!!!) ...which probably ruined the whole day for little Niko. I know it would've had it been mine.
Lastly, about Erik's cake. It's loud, gaudy, and I just don't like it. But they did get a nice pitcher of it.

April 9, 2010 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

yes, what some others said--I didn't see baptism either due to the lack of color contrast. Geez. Way to make a strange cake worse.

And oh golly. WV: bonebra. Can think of all kinds of places to take that but to keep it pretty safe, I'm sure it must just be an uncomfortable pre-curser to the wonderbra.

April 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Um, well. The Percy Jackson explanation is at least a little plausible, but if you've ever spent much time around 4 year olds, you know they are often obsessed -- really OBSESSED -- with the concept of death. So...a death cake for a boy who is just turning 5 kinda makes sense.

There's no excuse for "neiborhood" though.

April 9, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterhollyml

Love the dunk tank baptism idea!!!!!!! Most traditions that practice immersion baptism- hence the dunking joke- do so to those who are old enough to decide for themselves and therefore old enough to like baseball. Although...the case has been made that this cake is about sprinkling. What a wreck!!!! And since I'm letting my geek flag fly my favorite animal group terms are mob of kangaroos and dazzle of zebra ;-) (thanks for the bale of turtle info)

April 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLissanee

On the last cake, it is based on the Percy Jackson and the Olympians series. Nico is a boy who is the son of Hades.

April 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDane

To those thinking that Erik must be a baby because he's being baptized, some churches (like the Baptist one I grew up in) dedicate babies and wait until the child is old enough to CHOOSE to be baptized. You go through classes and then get dunked. (It's more like Catholic catechism. Sorry if I spelled that wrong.) The average age is 10-12. So, it wouldn't be all that odd for a 10 year old boy to be into baseball. It's just an odd cake.

April 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterHai Dee

Why is "Baptism" in yellow under a crotch? Is this a golden showers reference?

April 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterPirateHorses

Um, there's no dunking in hockey, either. There's dunking in basketball.

April 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterColeen L.

The house fire cake made me laugh out loud. :)

And there were probably dare on who would eat the slice of cake with baptism spelled out on it.

And don't see why a 5-year-old would have a cake featuring a character from a young adult series. As far as I know that Nico doesn't appear in the movie. It looks an awful lot like Grampa's Over-The-Hill cake.

April 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSharon

The location/color of the "baptism" on that second cake makes me wonder with exactly what they're planning on baptizing the kid... Ewww...

April 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma!

Just opened up the back cover of my May Reader's Digest... congratulations!!!

April 9, 2010 | Unregistered Commentercuriousceridwen

I hope Niko's cake is a reference to the Percy Jackson books, or he's a huge Halloween fan, because that cake is wrong for a 5 year-old. And this coming from someone who loves horror movies and watched them as a child.

April 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBree

On that last one, I'm putting my money(not that I really have any being a broke college student and all) on it being a Halloween birthday cake. I had a lot of those growing up. One even had tombstone candles on it.

It wasn't that I was emo as a kid, but these things happen when your birthday is 2 days after Halloween. **shrugs** In fact, the party was often on Halloween, and we'd go trick-or-treating as part of the festivities. Got quite amusing in HS, walking down the street singing marching band songs in costume. :D

PS: Ironically enough, the "Word Verification" for me was mummy.

April 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterEmily a grocery store baker, I've done lots of those grim reaper cakes. It is in fact, the grim reaper and not a sith lord. The wrecking balls are plastic flotsam balloons. They come on a little stick and are supposed to be on that random blue poo swirl in the back left corner of the cake. Grim reaper is supposed to stand next to the balloons, not in the grave. LOL

Oh...and should I add that I've done that cake for 2 different kids??? One boy (I wanna say he was around 5 or 6) and one for a girl too (I think she was 9). Both times, the parents came in with the kids and the kid picked it out. Strange...but what are ya gonna do? Some kids are morbidly fascinated by stuff like that.

I didn't see the baptism on Erik's cake...until I looked veryyyy close. Why yellow on the crotch? I also thought it was for an older boy being baptized.

April 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJenn

I don't see what's so unusual about the first cake. Whenever I move into a new neiborhood the current residents don't just move away. They frequently torch all the houses on their way out of town.

April 9, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterburton

It's actually called a bale of turtles. :)

April 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Maybe the kid's a very young Terry Pratchett fan? I mean, Death is a beloved character in the Discworld books, being actually quite a nice guy who's very curious about us mortals.

April 10, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

is the baseball player pooping the word "baptism?" wow, that's a one way ticket on the h-e-double-toothpicks express for that wreckerator!!

Keeley said...
A bale of turtles?? Now we know why they move so slowly. I'm gonna look for a turtle baler at the next farm show.

"turtle baler" muahahahahaha- I want one!!

April 10, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBarbara Anne

On the 5th birthday cake, all I can figure is that perhaps Nico's birthday is on or very close to Halloween and he had a Haunted House/Monster Mash/What have you themed party.

Still seems, though that Jack-O-Lanterns, a (cutely done) Haunted House, Candy, or any costumed superhero would have been better themes for a 5 year-old's birthday cake than the Grim Reaper.

April 10, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAni

That first one had me giggling. Did they have to move due to the fact that they are arsonists and now that the neighbors found out are being threatened to leave with that horrible spelling and burning house?
And that last cake.. I hope that the kid was born on Halloween otherwise what parent would order a cake like that for a 5 year old?? Don't tell me he's already gone goth? I figure he had a few years yet before that hit lol.

April 10, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

Maybe the bowling bowls on the Death cake are a reference to this old ad against AIDS: ?

Oh, and WV: cystuagn

April 10, 2010 | Unregistered Commentersjvan0

Hades isn't the grim reaper though...

April 10, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterwounded-melody

So sad, but that first cake would actually be appropriate for my "neiborhood", as would the off spelling.

April 10, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMrsTiara

As a former Wreckorater the baptism cake reminds me of 1 had was asked to make for a customer to celebrate not only the 7th birthday of her son but also his 1st Communion.

Picture Michael Angelo of the TMNT holding a Communion Chalice.

"Happy Holy Birthday Bat Man"

April 10, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKerrie

I really couldn't figure out poor Niko's cake until I Googled "grim reaper cakes". If you go to you will find all the fixin's for this lovely work of art.

Those balls are actually black balloons. Yes, I know, I didn't figure that out either. It says so in the ad copy. No explanation as to why Niko wanted/got a grim reaper cake, but at least we now know where we, too, can get everything we need to make one in the comfort of our own homes.

(Postage and handling not included. Some restrictions apply. Limited time offer. Must be 18 or over to order. All major credit cards accepted. Call now.)

April 10, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTricia

I'm so excited that a cake I submitted was used! Yep, the firefighter cake was for a fire station opening. I'm so proud!

April 10, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKaren

So... I guess nobody liked my little pitcher pun...?
Guess people are bummed out that Easter's over, huh?
( less bell to less house to fry...)
Cheer up! There are superlative upcoming events worthy of creckage (abbreviation for cake-wreckage);
For example:
*4/13 (1743) : Thomas Jefferson's 267th birthday! (yay.)
*4/19:(1775): The Revolutionary War began. All because Paul Revere made a Revere Ware teapot--and we were *supposed* to be mad at tea.
*4/28: (2010): A full moon night! AWOOOOoooo!
Carry on.

April 11, 2010 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

Yep, I'm thinking 5yo Niko is a fan of the Percy Jackson books...Nico Di Angelo is the son of Hades and spends most of his time in the underworld. (My 12yo loves those books...I would have thought them a bit much for a 5yo though!)

April 11, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJenn

Well the last one kind of made sense to me at first, because there is a series called Percy Jackson & The Olympians (it was recently made into a movie, you've probably heard of it) and in the latter books there is a character named Nico who is the son of Hades. But then I realized that this kid is FIVE so he either has a crazed fan-parent or I'm just a crazed fan, period. *sigh*

April 11, 2010 | Unregistered Commentermissgreenslate

But lots of small kids are delighted by grisly death! I used to volunteer in a group for children aged 6-9 and noticed that just about any play performed by 6 year old boys would feature zombies, and almost any art produced by 6 year old boys would feature either people killing monsters or monsters killing people. Comments like "Can we have a Teddy Bears' Picnic? So our teddy bears can fight to the DEATH!" or delighted "Yay, everyone dies!" in response to a song about the arms race were not unusual either. Of course we tried to gently discourage such things, but it's a pretty normal phase and I don't see what's wrong with indulging it on the kid's birthday of all times.

Of course the cake is still kind of ugly and contains about 50 times as much food colouring as my Mum would have let me have when I was that age, but yeah, not at all surprised that Niko wanted it.

April 11, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJuniper

You know, if the people who bought the "neiborhood" cake thought the fire was inappropriate, they could have just REMOVED the plastic flotsam and, voila, non-burning house. The spelling on the other hand....

April 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAlex

wow! I'm surprised there weren't any guys wearing hoods somewhere in the corner on that first cake. "welcome" indeed!

April 12, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterclan of the cave hair

Ha! I see I'm not the only one who totally missed the word 'baptism' I just thought it was wishing you a very 'Happy Eric!'

For the first one...I guess I'd feel more welcome to a 'neiborhood' where they're telling me if my house is on fire they'll put it out. I'd be more worried if the house was in flames and the cake firemen were standing around ambivalently watching it burn :P

And the last makes me think of the Billy Collins poem, 'On Turning Ten':
"...You tell me it is too early to be looking back,
but that is because you have forgotten
the perfect simplicity of being one
and the beautiful complexity introduced by two.
But I can lie on my bed and remember every digit..."

April 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLaurenH

As the submitter of the Grim Reaper cake, I can report that 5 year old Niko did pick it out from himself, with some strong encouragement from his 9 year old sister. Who was hitting emo tween a bit early, I think, and thought this would be a suitable statement to make on cycles of life, somehow. Niko just thought it looked cool.

It gets even better, because the picture you don't see is what happened after the birthday candles couldn't be found and we ended up using giant taper candles instead.

All us parents thought it was totally hysterical, and the kids didn't care. When the cake was getting cut, it was really funny - usually kids argue about who gets the icing flowers - this time it was "But i want the bones" and "Why does Niko get the burial mound?" ("Because he's the birthday boy.")

April 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTammy Coxen

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