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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Friday
May282010

Der Burger!

As you are no doubt aware, today is National Hamburger Day. It's a day of celebration. Of history. Of patriotism. And, of course, of ridiculous amounts of icing smooshed between two cake layers.

Mmmm. Lovely.

That's not to say all hamburger cakes are bad, of course. Sometimes, a truly excellent one comes along:

(by the über talented Sugar Chic Cakes)

...to show us just how wrecked the rest of them are:


"Hey, hey, bay-bee! You got some fries with that cake?

"Whassat? Just dry cake crusts? Oh. Never mind."

Of course the key to a good burger wreck is to keep the customer guessing:

"Is that really a burger cake? And if so, what are the red pointy things? Or the yellow pointy thing? Is the fireworks doodad supposed to be helping? Do they honestly expect me to pay $9.99 for this? Really?!?"

Good questions, all, but more importantly...

...am I the only one seeing a giant alien head here?

C'mon, green eyes, brown lips, cranium about to explode like a jiffy-pop bag? You see it, right?

Ok, ok, so it's easy to make fun of cupcake cakes (haaaaaw-ptooie!). It's not like it's much harder with these:

Bringing "dirty-iced" to a whole new level.
(A dirty, dirty level.)


I call this one "The High Hat" -

And this, "The Escaped Experiment" -

"The containment field can't last much longer! Everyone to the exits!"

"The Bonfire" -

(Onion smoke rings cost extra.)

And finally, "Peter's Pack of Peppers" -

Now with beach sand topping!


Ashley M., Angela E., Alicia B., Christy M., Lindsey F., Julia G., Torie C., Stefanie M., Abelina V., & Paula B., have it your way.

And in case you missed it before, here's the reason John will randomly exclaim, "Der Burger!"

« This Weekend, Pig Out | Main | Drem Big, Gjrads! »

Reader Comments (94)

Hamburgler from McDonalds would be so proud... or frightened...!

May 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMags

Bakery near us actually does a stunning hamburger cake. Complete with sesame seeds. Very realistic!

May 28, 2010 | Unregistered Commentertrek

The giant green globs of greasy grimey gopher guts on those "Escaped Experiments" is totally W--mart. I should know, I worked there for 9 years and experience is not something they value, only production output!

The one that looks like an alien head to you, looks like two poop logs to me!

May 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Uhhh, you know South Park did an episode about that giant alien head cake... it was the "Turd Sandwich" episode. Nice to see a cake version of the Turd Sandwich... :)

May 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I like to think of the Sugar Chic Cakes hamburger cake as what you see on McDonald's, Burger King's, et al.'s advertisements. Everything else is an accurate version of what you get when you order it LOL.

May 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLin

Hahahahaha!!!! OMG...it's beyond me how stores can sell stuff like that!! *:)*

May 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTiffiny Felix

The "Escaped Experiment" looks exactly like what happened on last night's Mythbusters with the depressurized diving suit.

May 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCatherine Eades

Thanks for the laughs!

May 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLee

the fourth cake looks like it has red fangs and a yellow tongue. be afraid. be very afraid.

and no one in the bakery considered that angel food cake is a little too thick and pale to pull of as a bun?

May 28, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterjo

mind you, that angel food cake is ALREADY cut in half probably.

it does look a little like toasted marshmallow though.

the lab display has some mutant cake watermelon in the background, too. how about just eating the REAL food, wreckerators? life is not all about cake!

May 28, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterjo

Wow! Steve Martin *really* sucks at faking French accent. This from someone with an outrrrrrrrrrrrrrrageous accent (you silly king-a)

May 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The "Escaped Experiment" Genius name Jen XD

May 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterThe Black Dog

The 4th cake is actually Strawberry Shortcake's deranged cousin, Burger Boy...

May 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMonica

Some of these remind me of this episode of The Cosby Show:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wEYjhDVTsH0

(Jump to about 5:15) Hehe!

May 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterEmilyV

There are intestines hanging out of some of the 'burgers'.

May 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Why is there a national day for a food item that comes from Germany?

May 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterPamela

The sad part is I think I've seen some hamburgers that looked like some of those burger cakes. I felt kinda sick looking at some of these cakes, lol.

May 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLisa M.

I love cake number 1 for its decorating excesses; it seems like a deliberate parody. All that frosting, GAAAAAAAH - but because I don't like hamburgers it's appropriate somehow. Norine

May 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Is it wrong that that is my seven year old's favorite movie scene?

May 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMrs. Flax

What, no "Cheesebooger cheesebooger cheesebooger! Chips no fries! PEPSI NO COKE!"?

:P

May 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMarilyn

The dirty iced cake looked like a half-deflated mylar balloon to me...

And "conditioned fudge" makes me wonder if they smush all the ugly edge pieces/crumbs together and say it's supposed to be soft and smushed looking...
Or maybe it's what we called spoon fudge - fudge that doesn't set up right that you have to scoop with a spoon since it's too soft to cut.

WV: sightle - a subtle sigh used to quietly express disbelief. "When I saw the insane amount of frosting on those cakes, I couldn't help but sightle."

May 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLizard

Now I want hamburgers for dinner.

May 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJessica

OK, I just got back from a run to the grocery story (bad idea - the parking lot had every example from the Bad Parking blog, it seemed), and my store had a whole table of hamburger, watermelon, and sunflower (yeah, cue "One of these things is not like the other...") cakes. You know you've been reading this blog when you're disappointed to see a nicely done cake...

May 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

What, no "Where's the beef?" joke for the extra big bun cake, or is my reference too dated? I would've loved to see the late actress from that Wendy's commercial say the same thing for that cake.

(I'm a child of the 80's)

May 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

It never ceases to amaze me how some bakeries have no sense of self respect. I simply cannot believe what they think is acceptable to put out for sale!! Or, are these learners experiments, or cakes sold at a sharp discount for those who can't afford regular prices, or do these cakes go home (free) with the staff and thus they deliberately do this in order to get free cake?

You know it's bad when the CCC cakes are the best of the bunch! And yup, saw an alien too-- also saw a face in the top cake of the Experiment. I'm afraid.

PS I'm going to a birthday party on Sunday. Am I a bad person because I'm hoping the cake is a total wreck?

May 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAliza

Bwahahahaha! I am sitting at a bus stop laughing. Everyone took a couple of steps away from the crazy woman.

I am craving burgers for dinner now. And cake. Or just mounds of icing. I think I have some in the cupboard.

Oh, and IT sidenote, the titles of the posts don't show on my blackberry anymore. :(

Alex

May 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The "containment field" one looks like someone trapped Oscar (Sesame Street) in a jar...

May 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMudhooks

You know what crushes my spirit? The fact that my two regular chain grocery stores (one of which has cakes regularly featured here) have super-conservative bakeries. Square or round cakes with the stock roses & squiggles. No hamburgers, blue fluffy clouds... The most offensive has been neon orange buttercream iced sheet cakes a few weeks in a row. :(

May 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterPinkAsphaltMama

@EmilyV: #3! #3! #3 totally looks like the burger and fries the kids got in that episode. it just needs a pepper on a toothpick on top!

good theory, Aliza. Great observation, Mudhooks!

May 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Wow!!! Yummy pics. Its really mouth watering.

Take the http://www.3smartcubes.com/pages/tests/cake-personality/cake-personality_instructions.asp" rel="nofollow">Cake Personality Test and find out which cake you are like…..I have taken the test and enjoyed a lot. Hope u too will enjoy it. Have Fun!!

May 29, 2010 | Unregistered Commentercollin

I had a hamburger birthday cake when I was 8 or 9 years old and remember it as THE best birthday cake EVER. Wanted to make one a few years ago, so followed the directions in a Women's Day magazine and it turned out AWESOME - nothing like these wrecks :-)

May 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKayla

Alien is right! It looks like one from Mars Attacks!

May 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

My 2 y/o pointed and exclaimed "PLAYDOH!" at the alien head. Hee!

May 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterThe Mama

My brother on the fourth one: "What's that supposed to be?"

Says it all, doesn't it?

May 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterNowe

The third wreck is a toothy monster with a hair clip. The teeth are different colors because she doesn't get the the dentist much.

May 29, 2010 | Unregistered Commentersiltedrepose

Jen!

That is NOT an alien head, it is a clown!

Here is the proof, right here!

http://whyifearclowns.blogspot.com/2010/05/genius-of-advertising.html

I will never look at burgers quite the same way again . . .

Terri

May 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTerri

Well, my 2 1/2 year old knew what they were so they can't be THAT bad... or maybe he's just a really good guesser!

Wow. They have a national Hamburger day in the US? Why?

May 31, 2010 | Unregistered Commenteramy

Amy, every day is Hamburger Day in the U.S. Unless you're a Hindu, and except for Fridays in Lent if you're Catholic. Oh, and cheeseburgers are out for Orthodox Jews, but except for that, yeah, we love our hamburgers.

May 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterGary

Wow......am I really the only one who clicked on Sugar Chic and saw this?????????????

Attention Customers Following Dates are closed and we will
not be recieving orders as we are booked to compacity:

I would be utterly devastated if you posted me on your site and this showed up......I begged them to tell me that is some sort of northern dialect.......even had to break out the Webster, just in case........

ncd1011@verizon.net

June 1, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

P.S.

That clip reminded me of how long we spent in French class trying to pronouce hamburger like that! HA!

Angie E.

June 5, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I sent you a picture of a hamburger cake a few months ago that I made. Was hoping to see it up there. :( haha Those are definetly interesting!!

June 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLibby

Does anyone else think the alien head cake looks like one of those annoying aliens from that episode of South Park? I completely blanked on what they were called... something with a J? Anyway, it looks like them.

June 14, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

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