My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

The Bakings of a Memorable Memorial Day

Today we honor the memory of our nation's heroes.

It's a day of gratitude.

Of dignity.

And, you know, stuff like this:

"Hon hon hon! I em zee embodiment of 'deegnitee!' Wee wee!"*

And speaking of wee wee...

I'm not really sure what this is, but the shape kind of rings a bell.
(I'm thinking...Arby's?)

And speaking of belles, the bodice on this dress could really use some work:

It's LIFT and separate, girls. No Yankee doodle dandy wants saggy clappers, if yaknowwuddamean.

Remember: patriotism is a family affair:

If not necessarily "family friendly."

And for a little "variety," there's always the WTF CCC:

That's "Way To Flotsamize," by the way.

Since today is about our military, though, try to keep the focus on those great men and women who have served in our armed forces.

See how the focal point here is the cookie soldier being run down and fired on by the chocolate tank?

That's NOT what I had in mind.

And finally, you know that feeling of satisfaction you get when a hoity-toity grammar snob corrects your grammar, but s/he's WRONG?

This feels kind of like that.

Quick grammar tip: if you can substitute the word "him," use "whom." But if "he" works, use "who." Ergo, "HE paid," not "HIM paid."

Thanks to Margaret D., Amy W., Andrea P., Holly Anne, Andrea P., Lyndi R., & Becky D., for whom [eyebrow waggle] I will be forever grateful. Or at least until tomorrow.

*John's Disclaimer: This was Jen's attempt at a French accent. See, 'cause the dog is a poodle, and poodles speak French. Although he also looks a bit English with the mustache and goatee. Or maybe a bit like Colonel Sanders. Oh! Who was a Colonel!** In the military!

So, in conclusion, eating KFC today is patriotic, and all poodles speak French. Thank you. That is all.

** John's Disclaimer to the Disclaimer: Actually, he was only a private but was given the honorary title of Kentucky Colonel later in life. Man! You guys*** are picky!

*** John's Disclaimer to the Disclaimer to the Disclaimer: By "guys" I mean people, and not necessarily one gender over another. I could have just as easily used "folks." though that would imply that you live in the country. Which you may not. Okay, I'm done.

« Evolution of a Wreck | Main | Sunday Sweets: Shoes & Purses »

Reader Comments (98)

My local Mars had a patriotic poodle cake too, with red and blue whiskers. It didn't look as scary as this one though. The other Memorial Day goodies were the standard cupcakes (no CCC's) and little white frosted sheet cakes with red and blue sprinkles...nothing that would make you want to rip out your hair.

May 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBree

Per the 'guys' / 'folks' decision, just use the current 'dudes' and that should cover everyone, per my teenage sons. They don't discriminate and use it for both sexes.

May 31, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterbookiewookie

I really thought it was a crazed clown with patriotic makeup. How did you even know it was a poodle!

May 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnne


I had as much fun reading the disclaimers as I did reading the post. :-D

May 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterComfyDenim

I think my favorite has to be the gingerbread men lifting the chocolate tank off their fallen comrade. They all look so cheerful supporting the troops. ^_^

Because I'm a geek...

3 a : man, fellow b : person —used in plural to refer to the members of a group regardless of sex

Guys totally works.

May 31, 2010 | Unregistered Commenter*K*

When I heard the french accent I immediately thought of the French soldiers in Monty Phython's Quest for the Holy Grail. It fit much better than an Americanized poodle - but then again, I'm Canadian :)

May 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLaury

My American side is snickering at the horrendous fake French accent you gave the doggie wreck. My French side is snickering even harder. :P

May 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterStephanie

pretty sure the 'dress' is actually meant to be the liberty bell

May 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterEmily

Loved the humour of the post... and the disclaimer was almost as funny! And thanks for the great grammar lesson.

STILL do not see "poodle" in the clown. Maybe this was one of those highly clipped poodles, so looks as silly as a clown?

(And this is aside from the obvious question of what does a poodle have to do with Memorial Day? A double-wreck?).

Wow, my mind must've really been in the gutter: I saw a male 'apparatus' for the bell/Uncle Sam hat (cake #2), a saggy topless woman with amputated arms for #3, an excited version of #2 for cake #4... and then they saw fireworks (#5). Just what was in my coffee today?!?!?!

Learning that #6 featured a tank, the lounging gingerbread soldiers NOT supporting that poor victim is rather disturbing... and definitely sends the wrong message.

At least the last cake had dignity, if not spelling. Which made it only a semi-wreck IMHO.

May 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAliza

I KNEW I liked your site for a reason! I've used that "he/who" "him/whom" grammar trick all my life and taught it to hundreds of other people ... you could almost SEE the lightbulbs blinking on above their heads!

Thank you for continuing to share the grammar love!

May 31, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterkelysian

I thought it had the French accent because it looked like the French guys in Monty Python and the Holy Grail.

May 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKaryn

The LIBERTY Bell??
I thought it was suppsoed to be an outfit consisting of an ugly shirt and bell-bottom jeans! Though I was wondering how that would connect to Memorial Day...
It really helps to read the comments!

May 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKat

ok. i didn't realise it was a poodle, and i'll be honest with you now, i'm still not seeing poodle. i don't know what i AM seeing, but it's not a poodle.

what's got me really confused is, WHY is it a poodle? is this an american thing? like an incredibly patriotic in joke we don't get across the pond?

May 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAsh

Oui, oui indeed! That cake-ish clown french/american poodle sure is sweet with all that frosting! :D

A poodle with a blue hat, orange ears and red whiskers? Sure it is. No, really. I can see it, too. (He said in a calm, reassuring voice.)

As for an image that evokes the gratitude Americans feel for those who served... "Let's see: French poodle, clown. They both make so much sense. I can't decide, so I'll make a hybrid!"

Gotta give the wreckerator some credit, though, for trying to disguise the cupcakes (patooey!) through the clever use of the vertical format.

Bree said her local Mars has similar cakes. That (the planet, not the store) would be my vote for the point of origin in this case.

wv: derhinh. These cakes make me say,'derhinh?'

May 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

You know, that poodles reminds me of the Fisher Price phone I had as a kid. Same shape, same colour, same eyes...

May 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Good thing you told me the first one was a poodle. I thought it just looked like a terrifying clown. I guess the French stuff was just you guys... clowning around!

May 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterShayna

Although on first glance some might mistake it for a Liberty Bell wannabe cake, I just love the headless, topless girl with the handless Popeye arms and the sagging (albeit somewhat undersized) breasts, who(m) is wearing the bell bottom pants!

May 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDJWildBill

Actually, as a proud parent of a Standard Poodle, I can tell you that Poodles are actually of German origin. The French just love them a lot (as so do Americans!)

May 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

It's late, I spent all dang day buying a new car I had no intention of purchasing today, and the neurotic dachshund we've been babysitting for 12 days finally went home about half an hour ago. But since my WV is ricap (to ricap, it's been a very long and exhausting day), I'll sum up: Thanks for Cake Wrecks, even late at night. maybe especially late at night--that Liberty Belle was one scary sight. My husband and I agree, it's a half-nekkid woman with saggy boobs and a tear in her skirt. Wow!

And if you look closely at the tank cake, you'll see the "soldier" it's mowing down has an orange sailor's hat on. Maybe that's why he didn't know to get out of the way?

Jen & John, are you dudes aware of the book "The Deluxe Transitive Vampire"? It's a great reference for all things grammatical. And funny too. BTW, my goddaughter uses dude not only in a non-gender-specific way, but as both plural and singular. AARRGG!

May 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKeeley

I thought for sure when I saw the first picture it had something to do with the new Toy Story... it looked just like the old happy, giggling pull phones.

May 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterRAM

Ohhh where do I begin?? The saggy boob cake.. the evil cookie cake that is either a firework gone anatomically wrong.. or a perverted mind lol. Now that poop tank running over the gingerbread man is just disturbing but it took my mind off the boob cake for a second anyways lol.

June 1, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

I'm dumbfounded even more... PAID the ultimate sacrifice, nope... the phrase is MADE the ultimate sacrifice, you don't pay it, you make it.

Thanks for the grammar tip, I never knew the correct usage of who and whom. Won't remember, but WTF, I've made it to my late 40s thus far without knowing. But at least I'll know I knew at one point.

June 1, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterValerie

Why is the palm tree in the fifth picture blue?

June 1, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterjanet2buns

"Saggy clappers" made me spit my soda on my screen. Thanks SO much for that! ;)

June 1, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Valerie, I noticed that, too. Someone has his/her cliches mixed up. You pay a price, but you make a sacrifice. Hmm, can you make the ultimate sacrifice and pay the ultimate price at the same time?

I think what we have here is a very patriotic, yet aphasic, cake writer.

June 1, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterGary


Have you recently been kidnapped by "40 specially trained Ecuadoran Mountain Llamas 26 Red Llama, and 142 Whooping Mexican Llamas?" I'm just waiting for the mariachi music and the flashing neon yellow background...

All we need are the Insult Yelling "French" soilders to go with that "French" poodle. Run away!

Andrea in St. Louis

June 1, 2010 | Unregistered Commentercraftinqueen75

The Liberty "Belle" comments had me guffawing for 5 minutes! Too Punny!

June 1, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterNancy

So the blue thing is either a palm tree with a bow? Or is it an octopus with one tentacle much longer than the others wearing a bow? And this honors the U.S.'s fallen soldiers because military personnel really dig octopus or perhaps palm fruits various and sundry? I REALLY need a drink now.

June 1, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterPurple Purl Girl

Quick grammar tip #2: If you DON'T know quick grammar tip #1 (i.e., "he/who, him/whom"), take the word "whom" out of your vocabulary!

Using "who" when "whom" is correct is tolerable, but the incorrect use of "whom" in place of "who" makes you look like a buffoon.

June 1, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLhydium

I didn't read all the comments, so I may not be the first to point this out, but you don't PAY a sacrifice, you MAKE a sacrifice, or pay PRICE.

June 1, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSerena L.

After I did the squinting thing and closing one eye I saw the poodle. Not Uncle Sam haha. What a great post! And I was laughing out loud at John's disclaimers. Priceless!

June 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMollsmithie Smith

that "support the troops" cake reminds me of my discomfort with tank shaped pinatas. I mean, nothing screams patriotism like handing 12 7 year old boys a baseball bat and letting them go ape on a US Army tank, right? (I also feel the same discomfort at pinatas in the form of people...something just isn't right about that.)

June 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJ. P.

what an angry exploding blue octopus.

June 2, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterjo

The "saggy clappers" are escaping! Look at the right "leg", there's some seriously saggy "clapper" coming out of that leg.

I love this blog, so many dirty minds!

June 3, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterFluzz

Aside from the misuse of 'whom', there's another problem with that cake.

One does not PAY a sacrifice, one MAKES a sacrifice. (One can pay a price, of course, perhaps that's where they got confused?)

June 3, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterNay

I am so absolutely in love with your blog. This always gives me a cleansing laugh and I will continue to highly recommend it to my friends. Love the disclaimers. They were as funny as the cakes!

June 3, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMel

The Liberty Bell? I would never have gotten that. Does anyone else see a uterus and ovaries?

June 4, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJay

OMG! Thank you for the great who/whom tip! I was just thinking yesterday that I really needed a good tip for that one. I think I've got its and it's down... it's hard sometimes to be sure of your grammar when its basic tenets are ignored so widely!

June 4, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBreanne

No, sorry, it should be Remember THEMS whom paid the ultimate sacrifice. If it's whom, then it's thems. Simple.

June 5, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJenny Reiswig

Quote: Quick grammar tip: if you can substitute the word "him," use "whom." But if "he" works, use "who." Ergo, "HE paid," not "HIM paid."

But ergo means "therefore". I think you meant, "Eg.". So you should have said something like the following:

... Eg., "HE paid," not "HIM paid." Ergo, "WHO paid" not "WHOM paid". And eg., "I paid HIM," not "I paid HE." Ergo, "WHOM did I pay?" not "WHO did I pay?"

My rule of thumb is that you should use "whom" whenever the word "to" could be added to the sentence. For example, you could say, "Whom did I pay the money TO?" You use "whom" when something is done TO someone, whereas you use "who" when you're discussing who actually did the thing being done. I.e., it's a question of subject versus object.

Anyway, thanks to the 1990s Iron Man cartoon, all children should already know this. See the episode "Enemy Within, Enemy Without." While learning the origin of MODOK, we also receive a grammar lesson. But I won't tell you where in the episode, because then you won't watch the whole thing. ;)
Part 1:" rel="nofollow">here
Part 2:" rel="nofollow">here
Part 2:

June 7, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMikewind Dale

I have a BA in English and that is the BEST explaination for Who and Whom. Leave it to Cake Wrecks to make me giggle and learn something at the same time.

June 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJen

along wit thw saggy looks like it has popeye arms.

June 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The droopy bodice on the dress kills me. Seriously, was that one going to a granny or what?

July 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterFitness Models

Wreck #1 -- Who ever heard of a red, white and blue poodle? Only if some freak PAINTED his dog!

Wreck #2 -- a hard "salute" to the USA? All American phallus?

Regarding the Liberty Bell cake: why is it wearing a skirt?

The not family friendly cake: some say they do see -- or feel -- "fireworks" during intimate moments.

August 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

That was a poodle?! WTF? Do people actually PURCHASE these things? - Answer...yes ..yes they do. lol xx

October 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCupcakes Lady

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