My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Bring a Sponge; It's Getting Pretty Tacky In Here.

Sure, we could spend time debating who's really to blame: the bakers, or the clients who ordered these wrecktastic designs.

Or we could just agree they're funny regardless and get on with it.

Yep, that's the ticket.

Yet another example of why you really, really need to give your guy his own groom's cake:

And make sure your napkins coordinate.

There are a million decisions to be made for your wedding day. Fortunately, though, you don't have to choose between your wedding topper, football helmet, resin "eagles raising the American flag" statue, and commemorative KISS doodads:

Notice how the eagle cake doesn't match the others?
(No, I don't have anything snappy to say about that. Just seeing if you noticed.)

Bride: "I've been dreaming about my wedding cake since I was a little girl. It has to be amazing, perfect. When my guests see it, I want there to be fireworks. Can you do that?"

Baker: [scribbling on clipboard] "Fireworks. Got it."

To be fair, there were more toothpick spriggy things - but that was before the mini wiener dogs were served.

Also, I never would have thought that muted gray-tone Lladro topper would go with an "exploding ticker tape parade in Rio" design...

...but, wouldn't you know it? I was right.

Look, I love Renaissance Fairs, I really do. I even love that this couple got married at one. However, this?

This doth make mine bowels quiver in a most unseemly matter, m'lords and ladies. For sooth.

Sam (the American) Eagle's wedding cake:

"It's a tribute to all nations, but mostly America."

Speaking of which, what do you do if your elegantly designed wedding cake shows up thoroughly wonkified?

Three words:
Distract the eye.

I guarantee you no one noticed the tipping tiers.

Amy S., Callie B., Julie Anne, Pam P., Anony M., & Chella S., I just realized that most (if not all) of today's Wrecks are American. I'm so proud I could bust.

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Reader Comments (113)

Is so happy I was not the bride who received any of these "masterpieces". I would run screaming if I even had to eat those scary things. Is still laughing at the "fireworks" cake.. sheesh.

May 7, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

i think the real common denominator here is the abundance of wood paneling in the display areas. #godforbid

May 7, 2010 | Unregistered Commentersambycat

1. Sam the eagle's cake has the same cake topper as the "kiss, football, eagle cake.
2. the last one? OMG I think that's the "grooms" cake and those are supposed to be fish hooks. I'm sure "Free Bird" played at the reception.

May 7, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSheila

I love the Sam Eagle reference!

May 7, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

That last cake needs a Sarah Palin/Rush Limbaugh cake topper.
AHH Love!

May 7, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLilly

Oh my.. I'm due to make my first wedding cake for a friend and theese pictures are scaring me!

May 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterPriscilla

The fireworks cake is the only one that is alright, in my opinion maybe not as a wedding cake but eh..... the cake topper is only appropriate if you're marrying the flukeman from X-Files. (sigh) (- _ -)

May 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBearty Page

Just a reminder to all the potential brides and grooms out there. Yes, I value and encourage creativity.


::drum roll::

YOU WILL SOBER UP at some point and photos last forever.

Take this same advice to heart when you are choosing names for your first born!

wv: "versew" as in these cakes are ver . . . (no that's not it), these cakes are sew . . .(nah not it either, aw, to heck with it!)


May 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTerri

I read all the comments, laughed myself silly, and then rechecked the wrecks to see if I was being too critical.

Nope, I wasn't. These are cakes you and your friends make for the wedding while drinking copious amounts of mimosas. A pro should have just said "no".

Just noticed that the KISS cake and the Sam Eagle cake have the same flukeman/mermaid topper.

Must have been a clearance sale at the Dollar Store.

The fireworks cake had some humor, but the topper completely spoiled it. You can't be traditional and avante-garde at the same time. Should have just gone with a disco ball instead!



May 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTerri

I have several things to say about this:

#3: I think the "fireworks" might actually be flowers. No, honestly, I think the clients wanted some nice tulip-colored flowers. They just ended up like intoxicated Hawaiian flowers.

#4: That looks like moldy cheese.

#5: It has HIVES!

#6: Did anyone else notice the Confederate flag draped around it?

May 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLilly

Great Muppets 3D Reference! That happens to be my favorite line in the show...bravo!

May 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterElizabeth

Excellent - I remember when Callie first emailed me a picture of that cake and I was astounded. People love their football down here, and people often put that on their groom's cakes, but some people are just a little more, um - shall we say "enthusiastic" - than others :-D

May 10, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterRachael M.

Even though I was the person responsible for the Renaissance cake, I must agree with all of the comments. This was a VERY picky bride that was VERY specific about what she wanted the cake to look like. From the color, to the vines, to the fairies stalking each other-it was all the bride's vision...please don't hold it against me. ;)

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