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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Friday
Jun112010

We Learned Good!

Today, we be having's a celebiation of learnir!

(Note: typing that last sentence was actually painful. See what I go through for you?)

Did anyone check with the Sumerians first?
Maybe they're not happy, is all I'm saying.

Wreckerators, can we misspell a three letter word?

YES, WE CAN!



[rubbing temples] Oh, my head... Maybe we should take a break from these wrecked misspellings and look at some wrecked designs instead.

"Gradution Dayn"?
Dang it, they're everywhere!
(I wonder if Amy noticed.)

We should also talk about those long tube thingies, though. I mean, what are they? Garden hoses? Elephant noses? Flagella?

(You must admit: flagella was a pretty good guess.)

[head tilt]
Hmm...

Ok.

I see a cow...with a beaver tail...and a gunshot wound.

You?


I have two things to say about these graduation cookies:


1) This is definitely the most unfortunate alternate spelling/icing color combo I have ever seen.

2) Using "text speak" to celebrate an educational accomplishment is like celebrating your SCUBA certification by drowning puppies. STOP IT.

Brooke B. & Amy F., Sarah M., Margo H., Lin C., Nastacia I., & Holly I., Njoy UR sumers!

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Reader Comments (150)

Mindy, I resent your comments! I happen to have a Master's degree in English and . . . oh, wait. A customer just pulled in to the drive-thru and the timer on on the fry-o-lator just went off. Gotta go!

June 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterPikkewyn

Oh man Jen I think you just broke what was left of my brain with these.. that CCC (Yuck!) looks like two snakes running off with her diploma and that's the clean version of what I thought those were lol. The cookie cake looks like someone shot their black lab :( horrid just horrid.

June 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

On the fifth one I immediately thought of a scottie dog. Perhaps with a misplaced leash?

June 12, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterbubbabooey

I definitely see a bull that is wounded and gushing blood! Ha! This post gave me a good laugh!
Http://pretemoiparis.blogspot.com
Melissa

June 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterPreteMoiParis

Regarding the cookie cake, I'm pretty sure it's the Grim. Professor Trelawney is hardcore freaking out right now.

June 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBecky

I think cake #1 is a case of bad penmanship instead of bad spelling (except for the dropped "g"). The "flagella" cake looks like tapeworms. Ick.

Hehe, "cum."

June 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I recognize that cookie design it's from Cookies By Design ;p

June 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Yep. I'm with Cara on this one. Tape worms......

June 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMelissa

Ok, cool! So this is what bakers have been lerner arl this yeers!

June 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterStoich91

When I saw the "flagellum" CCC, I thought reminded me of tapeworms. Gross, I will admit, but that's what they look like to me. But then, I've recently spent quite a lot of time with someone who is currently studying bacteria and parasitic organisms. I don't know why, but they got my mind on that track. Eeww.

June 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterRedVelvetALLTHEWAY

The "Class of 2010" cow cookie cake grieves me because it looks too much like a Spanish bull after being impaled by a matador. And a DEFORMED Spanish bull at that.

Being of the class of 2010, I don't think my fellow graduates would approve of such animal cruelty promotion. We are a caring class after all...

But at least it has chocolate chips...(?)

June 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterRedVelvetALLTHEWAY

I think the "flagella" might be pasta- one with marinara and with a butter sauce.

And the black think looks like a bloated black fox, but still has that unfortunate gunshot wound. Poor thing.

All I can say is wreckanators, you dit it!

June 12, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterknitorpurl

This may be my favorite Cake Wrecks post ever. Hi-larious.

June 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJen L.

I have never commented before but when my husband saw the "long stringy ones" AKA elephant noses he said and I qoute "Did someone get a vasectomy?"
I thought it was too good not to share!

June 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterThe Pea

Hm... The tubes look more like 'Large Intestine' and 'Colon' to me. Though, the turd cupcakes are nice too. :D

June 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterHeather

Now, now, if ur going to correct Wreckerators in yr posts, ensure ur right!

June 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJess Parsons

the fourth one looks like number four on this mothers day post, could it be return of the scarves? http://www.cakewrecks.com/2009/05/multiple-choices-for-mom.html

VW: alytogra
Alytogra; a ancient greek garmet consisting of two scarves blowing in the wind.... around some roses.
Bella T

June 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

ok, I truly did Laugh Out Loud, love your work.

June 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

TOTALLY saw the cow with the beaver tail gunshot wound before i even read what you saw. except i thought it was a two-headed cow with a gunshot wound...lol so weird.

& the last one...hilariously awful. [or would it be awfully hilarious?]

June 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBriiiBaby

#4 is a graduation cake for a class of highly educated snakes. They've learned to fly an airplane or something.

#5 depicts artificial insemination of a cow, so the graduates must be veterinary students.

#6 is not actually a graduation cake, but a wrap party cake for the cast and crew of "Grad '10," a pornographic film about a prom orgy.

June 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAviatrix

"2) Using "text speak" to celebrate an educational accomplishment is like celebrating your SCUBA certification by drowning puppies. STOP IT."

Love it!

June 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

"I see a cow...with a beaver tail...and a gunshot wound. You?"

... That is precisely what I see. You, madam, have hit the nail on the head. Now if someone would just hit these bakers/decorators...

June 14, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda

The "you dit it" message is a play-on-words gateau for a French conversation class.

June 14, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Thankfully I wasn't drinking anything when I got to the last one or my keyboard would have received an unfortunate baptism.

Good grief! Proofreading, people!

June 14, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterladyrazorsharp

Oh Dear! The "Graduation Dayn", cake with the long tube thingies as you put it, those things look exactly like hookworms!How horribly funny!XD How do these people keep their jobs??? Must be a shortage of good cake decorators out there?!

June 14, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Oh wow!

BTW my 4 year old even thought the cookie cake was a cow! LOL!

June 14, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Oh, I've got a better one. I work at an elementary school and the teacher's and administrator's put student information into what is called a Cumulative File. Only they shorten it to Cum file. Most teachers agree that this is truly an unfortunate take on the word cumulative. Even worse, I was asked to make gigantic red labels for the filing cabinet, they said, "CUM FILE, PRIVATE!" Gross!

June 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMake Do and Mend

You are always brilliant, but this post had me in tears, literally.

Thank you for the laugh todayl!!

June 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterEmily

This has got to be one of my favourite commentary days EVER.
The best part was when I read *head tilt* just after I had done exactly that. Bravo as usual, Jen.

June 17, 2010 | Unregistered Commenteraeballantyne

I'm sorry, but "cum tru" poo cakes (donuts, cookies, what ever) are too much... I cannot stay silent any longer! :-D

June 18, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKetutar

My son (7 yrs) looked over my shoulder as I was looking at the last photo. First he said, "What is that?" Then he said, "Is that glue on there or icing?" Made me laugh...

Jodie

June 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The tubes are lampreys, which are basically living nightmare fuel. They do, apparently, sometimes attack people.

WV: tyrselo, a kind of colourful lamprey. Obviously.

August 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterGabriel

"This is definitely the most unfortunate alternate spelling/icing color combo I have ever seen."

*disgusted groan*

October 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMarie

Love your analogy of drowning a puppy while trying to be a certified SCUBA diver. Funny.

February 7, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterShannon

As always, thanks, guys! I laughed until I cried. :)

February 7, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The 'most unfortunate spelling / icing color combination ' comment was probably the funniest thing you've ever written!!!!! I thought the choice of spelling was tragic enough, and then I read your comment and looked at the cookies again; Oh My God!!!! Thanks so much for the laugh!!!!

wv "excles" I dont' thinque eny of thes dekoraturs excles in spellink.

February 19, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBhakti

Regarding the shot beaver-tailed cow... I see a mama cow who just delivered and has yet to pass the afterbirth...a little trailing placenta for your graduation cake?

Or perhaps it's simply projectile menstruation?

April 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDocDanika

OH MY GOODNESS!!!

Your commentary makes these disasters even more funny! Now I have tears in my eyes from laughter.

September 4, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnnette

Maybe the Graduation Dayn things are intestines.....

October 11, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBrian S

*on the floor*

What are those brown ovals anyway? And why ARE they oval??

October 12, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterWhite

Cake 1- Is "learnir" the new IR verb? If so, then that Wreckerator "learne" good.
Cake 2- No. Sumer is very unhapppy that its civilization died out a thousands of years ago.
Cake 3- That's right, baker! You dit it perfectly!
Cake 4- Run for your lives! The giant Technicolor "Gradution Dayn" worms are going for that tiny and actually not badly designed island!
Cake 5- And that, parents, is what we teach our students. How to identify a cow that just got shot from a normal one! No worries. They all got it right on their first try!
Cake 6- This cake reminds me of those baffling puzzles where a series of letters are given and you have to guess what they mean. I think it has something to do with a parents hope that their daughter's... ummm... drums?... come true.

December 16, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCam

Cow with gunshot wound is good. I think though that in the interest of scientific accuracy, it most definitely is two planarian worms sharing some dna.....

January 22, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterProfessor Liz Manns

Using "text speak" to celebrate an educational accomplishment is like celebrating your SCUBA certification by drowning puppies. STOP IT.

From the bottom of my heart as an English teacher, THANK YOU!!!

February 19, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAmy E

The horrid graduation cake & the addition of what I assume were supposed to be scroll diplomas instead look like tapeworms from hell. The famous T-shirt that says "I are a college grad-u-ate" comes to mind. PLUS- YUCK!

March 4, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMimi

*gasps for breath* oh, my! Just just laughed til I cried. Cow with beaver tail and gunshot wound....BAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHA

March 16, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJessica

It doesn't say "Graduation dayn" It says "~Graduation Day~" with the little ~'s like it had on other parts of the cake...

April 30, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLexsan

About the cow I thought of an artificial insemination training course ...

May 23, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterGeorges

Yes, Amy did notice.

June 9, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterA Person

May yr drms cum tru
and may your vowels come back.
We all dare to hope.

January 4, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

The Sumerians had a God of beer. Naturally they deserve celebration!

June 12, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSkogula

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