My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Flip Flops (Hey, Look, a Built-In Pun!)

I once read one of those "You know you're a Floridian when..." lists, and number five was " wear flip-flops to a wedding."

Now, as a long-time Florida resident, I feel I should defend my fellow Sunshine Staters by informing the rest of you that they make some *very* dressy flip-flops. Have you seen the ones with the little rhinestones on the straps? [sing-song voice] Daaar-ling! And totally black-tie appropriate, I might add.

Anyway, during the summer months it quickly becomes obvious which Wreckerators have not only never worn flip-flops, but have probably never even seen a pair, either.

If these look right to you, get thee to a podiatrist! Stat!

What the...?

Good grief, that almost makes the cupcake cake [patooie!] version look decent:

Wait., it doesn't. Never mind.

Aha! Well there's your problem: these aren't flip-flops, they're "flipp flopps."
Must be a Canadian thing.*

It gets worse when Wreckerators introduce a 3D element:

I honestly have no idea what that is jammed into the cake: Ribbon? Plastic? A moldy fruit roll-up? Bottom line: if you have to ask, don't eat it.

Here's one using either a piece of electrical wiring or a radioactive Twizzler:

But the airbrushing is what really sells it.

Of course, jamming a bit of ribbon or "candy" into a cake for the flip-flop strap is awfully complicated. Someone was bound to screw it up eventually:


Shana M., Kelly M., Hannah H., Xiaomi Q, Beth C., D'Anna, & Gins V., thanks for taking a step in the wreck direction.

*Yes, actually, I do think that's funny. (Love ya, Canada!)

Note from john - Sorry everybody; I didn't get to comments for fifteen minutes and it appears we have a "bacon" EPCOT. Completely my fault. Sorry and wreck on!

UPDATE: Once again, Google Adsense wins the day! Check out the screen shot Tara G. sent in:

"Flip-Flops in BRIDESMAIDS Colors"

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Reader Comments (164)

I am a (relatively new)Floridian...and wore flip flops IN a wedding as a bridesmaid. They were sparkly, so it made it all better.

Oh, and that was bacon, by the way.

-Lauren in Jax

June 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Awwww! #1 is so romantic! Two paramecium giving each other flowers...

June 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMama Martinez

I think it is bacon. I've never seen Froot by the Foot that ranges from orangish/pink to brownish/black. Granted, I haven't seen a LOT of Froot by the Foot, but thanks to my six-year-old, I've seen a few pieces.

It's definitely something edible, though... because there's gel squiggles on top of it! and if it is bacon, that's a horrible thing to do to it.

So, I'm thinking it's turkey bacon, cooked on a fairly flat surface, and then decorated with gel squiggles. Eeeewwwww.

June 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterIronica

I maybe should not post my name on this, but I kind of like the cupcake flip flops. I mean, they look like a pair of platform flip flops I saw the other day. People have worn worse on their feet, cupcake cakes have made worse shapes.

June 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTiffany

I'm actually happy that I wasn't the only person that first saw bacon.

June 17, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterangel_kitten

We called flip flops "thongs" when I was a kid, too. When my SIL got married, she had her bridesmaids buy fancy flip flops--my junior bridesmaid daughter got a pair that were silver with a big mother-of-pearl-looking medallion on them. They were more affordable than strappy silver shoes, especially since she outgrew them within a year. That said, I can't stand to wear them any more, although I lived in them during the summer when I was younger.

LMAO at the Beggin' Strips comments--"Beggin' Strips! Wreckerators don't know it's not bacon!"

wv: lobbil--We should lobbil some flip flops at these Wreckerators for not knowing what they look like.

June 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMelinda

I don't know, y'all...I didn't immediately get bacon (because I am not that imaginative (cake + bacon = *error, cannot compute*) and I, apparently, live under a rock). I assumed Fruit by the Foot, but it actually looked like a used typewriter not a cartridge, an oldschool typewriter ribbon. THEN I enlarged the photo, and it sure does resemble bacon....maybe it's bacon flavored Fruit by the Foot? Or those "bacon" dog treats? Anyway you look at it (heh), it's not appealing to me in the least!

June 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I thought the straps on the 5th one looked like bacon too, or maybe BBQ sauce. Either way I'm never touching bacon again... But if it's not on a cake, WELL!

Tricia L said...

Tutorial --
Step 1: place paper on floor.
Step 2: place foot on paper.
Step 3: draw outline of foot on paper with pencil.
Step 4: remove foot.
Step 5: cut along pencil line.
I was with you up until the "remove foot" part.
I think that's a bit EXTREME, just to make a cake. You might NEED that foot for other craft projects!

Now, as for the ultra-thick platform cakes, I have to admit that I'm *thrifty* by nature (read: "cheap")and would refuse to pay 20-something bucks for that "flipp flopp" pair of cement shoes....unless I REALLY "needed" them....


June 17, 2010 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

This reminds me of Joey from "Friends." Bacon, good. Cake, good. What's not to like?? :) (Blech!)

June 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterHeather

Bacon? I've just been googling 'american bacon' coz bacon in the UK is a totally different shape.

I feel i've learned something today!

June 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

i apologize for going caps-lock here, but I MUST CORRECT YOUR CORRECTIONS, CORRECTORATORS.
as a kid who grew up in the 90's, i must point out that THOSE STRAPS ARE NOT BACON!!!


i am quite sure of this. i used to eat them.
the "moldy fruit roll-up" theory was closer than the bacon one.
really? bacon on a cake?
only paula deen can do that.

June 17, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterkathleen

It's not bacon!!! Those are clearly Fruit by the Foots. Multicolored 3 foot long fruit roll ups. Doesn't look a thing like bacon

June 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAlessa & Karin

I'm definitely going to go with team fruit-by-the-foot on this one. It's the red and blue tie-dye flavor. If you haven't had fruit by the foot in a while, they've added pressed squiggly lines down the length of it so that you can tear it apart into three thin, squiggly strips. You can see those perfect squiggle lines if you look closely at the picture. It looks kinda similar to bacon because of the lighting, I guess.

June 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMeg

As a Canadian, I would like to inform everyone that we do have toes! Honest!

June 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSarah

In Hawaii they're called slippers, or more accurately "rubbah slippahz" (rubber slippers in pidgin English). Or my mom will use Japanese and call them "zori".

June 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Good lord, what a diservice to the almight flip-flop. I lived in southern FL for several years and we had 2 kinds of shoes: flip flops and "real shoes". If the occiasion called for "real shoes", I usually sent my regrets!

Oh, I hate to get involved, but have to agee - it looks like bacon...

June 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDeb

The Canadian "flipp flopps" look like coffins, side-by-side waiting for twins, or something equally morbid.

June 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterPeaceLoveMath

@ sendingtheclowns

Oh, dear. Thought I wrote those directions so that any wreckerator could follow them. Just shows how impossible it is to spell out instructions so they can't screw them up.

To john and Jen: Hope today's comments don't ruin your enjoyment of bacon. I suspect a tendon twitches in someone's face about now.

June 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTricia L

I made a flip flop cake for my daughter just last weekend . . . I was thinking they didn't look that great, but after seeing your post, I feel MUCH better about them!


June 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterShake-N-Bake

i know bacon is good.
i know cake is good.

could bacon and cake possibly be the best thing to ever happen?

guessing by the picture, i'm thinking not.

June 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMarcie

Anonymous said...
"Bacon? I've just been googling 'american bacon' coz bacon in the UK is a totally different shape."
Well--I must ask, what shape IS your bacon? And what shape are your pigs in the UK?

It's different in Canada, too. Canadian pigs make Canadian bacon, which is round and flat, like a coin. I don't know what shape Canadian pigs are, though I'm assuming they're neither round nor flat.

Maybe I'd look it up, if I actually cared one whit.


June 17, 2010 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

Here in Australia they're called thongs, and in New Zealand they're jandals. And the wedgie undies that you guys call thongs we call g-strings.

I've never even heard of Fruit by the Foot but it seems kind of appropriate.

June 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterWolvie Girl

Those are definitely blue Twizzlers. There's a picture of them on Wiki ( They're rainbow I guess they taste like blue. (yes, it is blue raspberry.)

And those "bacon strips" are more likely to be Fruit by the Foot. The red and blue striped kind tends to mix and look like brown for some reason.

June 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLori

sooooo.... i show my friend this site for the first time...

he takes one look at cake #1 and says:

"Is that a uterus cake??"

priceless. :)

June 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterRenee

I agree with the Bacon comments! Definitely looks like bacon.

As to the Floridians (?) wearing flip flops to a wedding--I'm from Michigan, and I actually did that for a wedding I was IN. It was for my brother's wedding... very laid-back, pretty outdoor wedding, with some pretty fun flip flops! :)

I could spend all summer wearing flip flops!!

June 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSerena

Californians love their rhinestone-y flip flops, too. ;)

Even in weddings.

June 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBrie

Definitely bacon like everyone else said.

And may I just say, I wore flip flops to my wedding on the beach. Yep, it was the one with rhinestones on them. I was one bride without sore feet at the end of the night from cramming them n 6 inch heels.

June 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSciFi Mama

Um no! It's not bacon- not even close! It's clearly a fruit snack because it has waves all down it where you can pull it apart. Either everyone is trying to be funny with "bacon" or are really that... that's just leave it at that. ~KM

June 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Dear god, what some people will buy and make.

June 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

So there I was, reading my facebook feed, and BLAM
Custom Wedding Flip flops
posted 6/17/2010 , expires 7/8/2010
flip flops: white size :10
With a huge hot pink satin boutique bow about 2-3 inches wide with a silver round rhinestone buckle . Hot pink satin ribbon covering the straps also. They are my wedding shoes. Plain but bold and classy.
Materials: flip flop, hot pink satin rib, round silver rhine
Tags: flip flops, shoes, wedding
Ideal price: $25.00
Deadline: Jun 30, 2010
Quantity: 1
Ship To: Humble, TX 77346
United States

(plus looking up wedding flip flops on etsy gets way too many hits

June 17, 2010 | Unregistered Commentermystic_eye_cda

Sorry people, it's not bacon. It's most definitely Fruit by the Foot. Berry Blast flavor. Believe me- my husband loves the stuff, especially it that flavor so I know it when I see it. And if you zoom in and look at it, you can see the twisty preforation down the middle that lets you pull the fruit snack apart. I guarantee it's Fruit by the Foot.

June 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJill

No Way. Jen was totally right the first time. It's Fruit by the Foot, NOT BACON! If you zoom way in on the straps, you can see the very non-bacon-y texture of a Fruit by the Foot.

June 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I think that that is bacon, not a moldy fruit roll-up. But, then again, it might be a moldy fruit roll-up. You never know

June 17, 2010 | Unregistered Commentercrazycrafter

looks good! :O

The radioactive twizzler, is actually a "Rainbow" twizzler. and they're all creepy colors.

June 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda

Hey now, I wore flip flops to my OWN wedding! But they were high heeled, and was a big inside joke....but still, there's nothing wrong with a good ole pair of flip flops. Oh, and I'm from Texas, not Florida :)

June 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterChristina

What's a bacon?

June 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLori @ RRSAHM

If you expand #5 you can clearly see the squiggle on it.

And for a Fruit by the Foot example of the squiggle:

My vote is for FBTF.

June 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCybrczch

I love flip flops! So sad that #1 someone would want to eat a shoe and #2 that they don't know what they look like. At least they weren't Crocs.

June 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTara

I am so sad that it wasn't bacon! :(
I really hope the next wave in cake wreckoration involves bacon! Lots of bacon!

June 18, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterPikkewyn

It doesn't matter if it actually is bacon or not. The fact that it LOOKS like bacon make it a wreck all by itself.

June 18, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterErin Lea

There are no words I can find to describe any of these cakes.. horrifying just won't cut it lol. If any of those cakes are flip flops I am going to throw mine at the wreckerator and have them see what one looks like. Bacon on cake makes me run and hide.. bleh.

June 18, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

I'd like my piece with extra Tinactin, please.

June 18, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterNana Jackie

My first thought was, "That totally looks like bacon. I'm going to leave that in the comment section...I bet a few other people have said that too." Hahahaha, just a few.

June 18, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

That one comment about the Slim Jims gave me an idea. At your next get-together (4th of July coming up), cut some cold cuts into flip flop shapes and insert the Slim Jims as straps! Totally edible footwear. Yeah!

Sharon's Edible Art

June 18, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Actually, it's Fruit by the Foot! Which is another pun I might add, but a true one!

June 18, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBeautiful Nightmare

I am highly amused by the bacon/Fruit by the Foot wars. Can a divided Wreck Nation stand?

Me, I hate flip flops with a passion. I can't wear anything on my feet that divides the toes, as it irritates the skin between my toes, and I hate the smacking sound they make when you walk. That said, I can kind of see wearing them to a beach wedding if they were appropriately glitzed up.

June 18, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterShanti

SendingTheClowns, I recommend looking at for typical British back bacon, compared to streaky bacon, which was presumably what people were comparing the ribbon to.

Compare with the alien jowl bacon I don't know where people eat that.

June 18, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

My 4 year old says its bacon too :)

June 18, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMaureen

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