My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Sweets For Dad

Today, we celebrate men.

And not just any men: men who make babies! Also, men who adopt babies! Also, men who are with women who made babies with other men! Also, men who adopted babies and there are no women involved except those involved in making the babies! (Ok, so pretty much all men, except for men like me who have no babies. Except my cats.)

Look, men! Cigars!

(Sub'd by Laura V. and made by Sweet Gems)

How manly!

And what's this? Could it be Captain Kirk?!?!

(Sub'd by Judy M. and made by Spense)

Extremely manly!

And what man would be complete without one of those blue and white shirts from 80's Wall Street movies?

(Sub'd by Christina W. and made by Esperanza)

It's business time!

Football! And not that wussy European football*, either! No!

(Sub'd by Jennifer L. & baker unknown)

MANLY Football!


And tools!!
Every man needs tools!

(Sub'd by Colette D. and made by Cheri's Bakery)

Somebody break something so I can fix it!

And Harley Davidson motorcycles!

(Sub'd by PJ. and made by Amore Cake)

Because MEN ride them!

And Vegemite!

(Sub'd by Sarah H. and made by Ab Fab Cakes)

Because MEN at Work sang about it, that's why!
Somebody make me a sandwich!

And finally, what's more manly than man's best friend?

(Made by A Couple of Sweet Things)

D'awww, who's a widdle boopsie boo? Izzit you? Yesh, it is!!

[looking up]

Oh, uh...hi, guys. Heh.

So. Um. Where were we?

Oh, right.

Alright, men! Sing it with me!

We're men!
We're men in tights. (Tight Tights!)
We roam through the woods
looking for fights.
We're men! (MANLY men!)
We're men in tiiiights,
When you're in a fix
Just call for the men in tights!

(We're butch!)

Happy Father's Day Falker Satherhood, all.

*Update! Just so we're clear, when I say "European Football," I am referring to soccer, a game where gently bumping a player results in said player holding his face and screaming in agony while rolling around on the ground. I am in no way referring to Rugby, a game so manly that just typing it has caused hair to burst from under my shirt collar. Glad we cleared that up.


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Reader Comments (104)

OH MY GOODNESS! Just when I thought I couldn't love Cake Wrecks any more than I already do...After that business shirt, reading the line "It's business time" had me crossing my fingers hoping for a Flight of the Conchords link. THEN to top things all off, my favorite movie OF ALL TIME was referenced -- Robin Hood: Men in Tights WITH A VIDEO! I'm so overwhelmed. BEST.POST.EVER.

June 20, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

wooohooo LSU!

June 20, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The Harley one is awesome! Anybody know how the decorator made the "leather"?

June 20, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterGina

This post made me laugh even more than usual! John may just be my new favorite after the "Men in Tights" reference! BEST.MOVIE.EVER!!

June 20, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Well done. Tip of the cap to you, sir.

June 20, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLeslie

I don't know how this hasn't been said yet, but A MAN MUST BE SWIFT AS A COURSING RIVERRRRRRR
-Jessica W.

June 20, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterThe Quibbler

Brilliant post! Particularly enjoyed the Men at Work reference. Happy Cat-Dad Day to you!

June 20, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterHeidi

I'm sorry. I couldn't get over the enORMOUS manly cigar in the background of the first picture. I'm afraid I might have to look over all of these again without GIGANTIC CIGAR distracting me.

It looks like Cheech and Chong made it. C'mon, who's with me?

June 20, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterGreen

Aw, John, you can be Father of the Cake Wrecks blog. Happy Falker Satherhood!

June 20, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKatie

That's not "Manly Football", it's "Sissy Rugby"; in the UK we play it without pads and helmets, and without stopping every 90 seconds...

June 20, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterPyro

Why does the Shat look like he's taking a s...

Hey look, a squirrel!!

June 20, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterChris

Great cakes.
But your manly football is our wussy rugby.

I grew up in England. Football uses feet.

June 20, 2010 | Unregistered Commentermumstheword

The Captain Kirk cake is beautifully done, no denying that. But who eats his head.

Just because it's a really GREAT head, doesn't really make it better.

June 20, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMary Connealy

So are you Australian, John?
You've got the Vegemite, the rugby... and there is a beach town on the north side of the Sydney harbor named ......
R e a d y ?

MANLY !!!!!

from your neighbor down near Tupperware Jeanine

June 20, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I actually object to your referring to english football as the wussy type of football when it isnt, american football is the wussy version of rugby.

June 20, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Captain Kirk looks like he's sitting on the john. Yep, I'd say he's pretty "bold" to "go" in front of everyone like that!

June 20, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I laughed out loud. Several times.

June 20, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterEmma9405

This is why all football players should grow up in rugby nations. Last night the New Zealanders were bouncing back up and the Italians were crying and rolling around clutching themselves. Who are the world champs again?

June 20, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterNZNeep

OMG! The Harley cake actually looks like leather!

June 20, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDonna

I'm not certain, but the LSU football cake looks a lot like the work of Sucre, a terrific bakery/candy/ice cream shop in New Orleans.

June 20, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterPoppy

Love the "Business Time" reference. That is my ringtone for my husband when he calls my cell (his choice, of course)!

June 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKatie Bug

Love these cakes! Amore Cakes did such a great job...but then, she's just all around awesome :) (R, hope you're reading this ;)

June 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMyrnie

Yawn--it's already *tomorrow* and I'm just now seeing these.

Now, I reverse-heart fondant, but these are pretty cool.
Except that I think James T. Kirk looks more like James Arness...and I don't know what HIS middle initial is.
Let's have a little fun and put a sheriff's star on his uniform where the Star Trek badge goes.
(I know, that would be blasphemy! Or...maybe it would be blast-off-phemy?)
Back to bed for me!


June 21, 2010 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

Will now have that men in tights song stuck in my head all night.. until I evilly pass it on to my husband lol. I love that movie! And all of these cakes are so beautiful and detailed makes me wish we had kids so I could buy my hubby one lol.

June 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

I still can't watch Blinkin punch those guys and not laugh.
So friggin funny.

June 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMissNay

Seriously! With the getting bumped in the chest and then grabbing his face and rolling around on the pitch for WAY too long?? Ridiculous. Also, could you explain why the 3rd US goal was taken away? So irritating!

Also, nice cakes:)

June 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTami

American football? Manly? When the players are hiding inside a suit of kevlar armour?
And don't get me started on baseball, which we call rounders, and which is typically played by 8 year old girls (also without body armour)...

June 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterChristine

To be fair they only scream until the magic sponge appears and it is clear that they are not going ot be awarded a penalty. Then they stop immediately.

June 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterToaster

Amateur football teams are way tougher than professional ones. My little brother's football league only acknowledges injury when there's either bone showing or so much blood it makes the pitch slippery.

June 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAdrienne

Heck YES Flight of the Conchords. That made my day. And got "Business Time" and the Hip-Hoppopatumus vs Rhymenocerous song stuck in my head for the day.

Also, these are completely awesome cakes. I'm especially impressed by that Harley cake--the leather looks so real!

June 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda

*Update! Just so we're clear, when I say "European Football," I am referring to soccer, a game where gently bumping a player results in said player holding his face and screaming in agony while rolling around on the ground. I am in no way referring to Rugby, a game so manly that just typing it has caused hair to burst from under my shirt collar. Glad we cleared that up.
DAMN SKIPPY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

June 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAlisha Rene'

Cakes and testosterone, together at last for the first time?

Delicious. I'll have a slice. Is it BEEFcake?

June 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMiranda

Thanks for acknowledging lots of different types of dads.

June 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Thanks for the LSU cake! Geaux Tigers!!!

-Kyla (my very first comment, but I've been reading here for a year now.)

June 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Um, yeah....normally I love you guys, but the sissy soccer stuff is crap. American football in pads is a lot of fun to watch, but c'mon...they're wearing pads. Rugby is some serious stuff, and so is soccer (the real football). Shin guards as your only protection, and you have to outwit the other team with the finesse of your feet...that's a manly sport. You have to be fleet of foot, able to strategize, work as part of a well-tuned machine, and keep your hands OFF the ball. You guys were way off about the manly quotient, unless you mean meathead manliness.

June 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLaura

Hate to burst your bubble but the 7th one (the vegemite one) is actually a birthday cake. The label that says "Happy Birthday Rob" is sort of a give away......

June 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterScarlett Robyn

I absolutely love your blog, but I was extremely disappointed by your reference to soccer as being a wussy sport. You obviously have never played yourself,so I am assuming the comment comes from ignorance. I consider American football to be the wussy sport. Those guys have to stop every few minutes to rest up and discuss(or be told) what they will do next. In soccer you are running for 45 minutes without a break and have to think on your own while running. I could go on and on.....but anyway GREAT cakes!

June 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMichael

Already mentioned, but worth repeating: The texturing on the Harley Davidson cake is AMAZING!

June 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I was soooooo hopping that you would like to the FotC song, YAY!! Oh, and your description of the various types of football was awesome. Thank you for making me laugh my head off!

June 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJohn and Sarah Sperry

These are awesome! Happy father's day to all the dad...

Love the Men in Tights reference!

check out my blog:

June 21, 2010 | Unregistered Commenter~Nikki~

Gah that LSU cake is uh-mazing. Louisiana born and bred...LSU fan since forever. Super duper awesome. <3

June 21, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterpeaches1111_00

I cannot believe the Harley cake is not made of leather! SO AWESOME! =D

June 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMichelle

The leather on the Harley cake is AMAZING!!

June 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBrenda

...Said he who has probably never played soccer and gotten kicked in the shin with a cleat worn by a guy running about 100 miles an hour. Two words: NO PROTECTION. Sissy is wearing shoulder pads, mouth guard and all other sorts of protection up to *here* while pushing each other around. My own father hates it when I say that, bless his soul, but it's true :)

June 22, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Whoa. The Harley cake is My dad would go berserk.

The Kirk cake, while very awesome, makes me a bit uncomfortable. You'd have to decapitate him to serve it (ha, Futurama) and I'm not sure that's my thing. But it's still awesome.

That DOG oh so cute. Maybe for a new dad! So much squee.

LOL Men in Tights. "Unlike SOME Robin Hoods, *I* have an English accent!" XD

June 22, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterladyrazorsharp

No question, the cakes are great, but I come here for the snarky commentary and I have to say, Jen: You married a winner. This might be in the running for best guest post evar. :)

June 22, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTienne

Since when is it "sissy" to protect yourself from injury? Do you manly rugby snobs also boast about not buckling up while driving? I say, bring on the mouthguards! We like our teeth over on this side of the pond.

June 22, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

You see, in "real" football - you know, the one where they can only touch the ball with their feet - they have these things called "rules" which stop people from punching each other on the field.

However, sports like those fake footballs have dulled people's brains, so they don't notice when little things like "fouls" have occurred. Therefore, the players have to draw attention to them in the time-honoured fashion of silent-movie/melodrama actors.

Namely: much flailing about so that the folks at the back of the house can see that something has happened.

June 22, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSharon

Glad I'm not the only one who thought Captain Kirk was sitting on a toilet at first. The "boldy go" quote didn't help...would have been really funny if it HAD been a toilet.

June 23, 2010 | Unregistered Commentermoonfall86

Anyone else look at the background cake in the first picture and think "log in a thong"?

June 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

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