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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Wednesday
Jun232010

Crazy Genes

Before you give me a hard time for posting more Dad Wrecks, you should note that:

a) It's really *your* fault for not submitting these earlier, and

b) See point 'a'.

Besides, it's not like there's anything here that really screams "Dad", you know?

Ok, well, except for that plastic thing.

And maybe the golf clip art.

But the actual cake? That's just screaming, "For the love of Sweet Duncan Hines, WHAT AM I?!?"

If only I knew, little Wreck. If only. I. knew.

Here's how you tell Pop you're on to all those Christmas shenanigans of his:

Yeah. Watch your back, "Santa."


And then there's the weird stuff.

"I do the weird stuff!"

For the record, there is no combination of the words "king, fish, dad, dad" that makes even the remotest hint of sense. None. King fish dad dad? King dad fish dad? Dad king fish dad? WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAN?!?

[patting down hair] Ahem.

Actually, I find it oddly comforting that the yellow fish/dad/king/thing looks just as confused as I am. It's like he understands my pain. Yeah. So thanks, fish/dad/king/thing.


Say, here's an aspect of father/child bonding you don't see often:

A shared love of cycloptic mutant bunnies.

(Yes, I *did* just make Cyclops into an adjective. Trust me, it's going to fill a void in your vocabulary you never even knew was there. You'll see.)

And finally, the most horrifying Father's Day Wreck I've seen all week, hands down:

You know, something about that icing seems off, but I can't quite put my finger on it.

Well, maybe the Wreckerator was all thumbs, and so decided to just slap on a digit-al design. In that case, you gotta admit: s/he nailed it.

Wanda W., Clint R., Laura M., Heather L., & Katie T., high fives all 'round.

TOUR REMINDER: Hey, Salt Lake City, for a good time be at The King's English Bookshop tonight at 7pm (or a bit before). We've got all kinds of goodies in store for you. [saucy wink]

Update from john: Did you know that apparently, little boys are made up of Y chromosomes and Epcots? Neither did I...

« Tempe Treats | Main | Father Figures? »

Reader Comments (204)

I have never posted before, but the epic quality of this EPCOT was just too funny to pass up!!
Snort!!
Maybe the title of the post should be bigger :-)

June 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAlpo

I haven't read any of the previous 42 comments before posting this so I apologize if I'm the 43rd person to post this but...

Jen, I believe that first blue/white swirl, vaguely Y-shaped cake is supposed to be a golf tee.

I can't imagine why there are two cupcakes without something golf-related stuck in them like the other two though. Maybe the flotsam-free CCs are supposed to represent water hazards.

June 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLaura Beth

I thought the first one was a Y chromosome immediately. That didn't explain the awful spray pattern, and it gave the wreckerator too much credit, but still, that is what it clearly appeared to be. That is until I read someone's comment about it being a tie. Yep, that garish spray plaid pattern is definitely the sign of a tie. The frosting even forms a tiny tip at the end. I knew I shouldn't have been reading science into a wreck!

June 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I'm thinking the 1st one is a necktie and the 2nd one is a grill? (maybe the fork and knife are supposed to be the hanging grill tools?)

June 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterRenee

Is the Santa cake a closed grill as viewed from the side? I also like someone's suggestion that it's a bbq apron. #1 is totally a tie.

June 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I think the first cake is a golf fairway and the second reminds me of something to do with camping. Is it a backpack? It looks like a buckle in the center. CC

June 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The first one might be a golf tee (too go w/ the theme)...though could be a necktie...nah golf tee.
The second is what looks to be a grill w/ the white blob being the propane tank. The knife and fork are suposed to be grilling tools my guess...
The third is just a weird person/thing w/ a crown.
The 4th is a necktie
The 5th I'm hoping is the image of a handprint and not the wreckerators!

June 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnissa

After looking at these, there is absolutely no doubt in my mind why you so hate a CCC.

June 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLinda Y

The first cake is probably a "Y" chromosome. Only males have them. So that would work with the "father's day cake".

June 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Thank you to the people who suggested that the second cake might be a grill - it was driving me batty trying to figure it out.

I vote necktie on the first one (PLAID!) but commend the creativity of the Y chromosome idea.

AmyRaz

June 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

For the first four wrecks especially, I just had the same thought over and over...WTH, WTH, WTH and W.T.H!

June 23, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterkjl

Cycloptic mutant bunny? Or headless angel in a second-hand bridesmaid's dress? Gross, either way.

June 23, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterdawn

Fistbump for the Dr. Horrible reference!!

Pretty sure Santa there is a grill. A horrifying, CCC grill.

WV: phtyl--the sound one makes when encountering a CCC.

June 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The first one looks like one of those dowsing rods they use to find water. Maybe it was all metaphorical and stuff, and he was thanking his dad for not letting his love be thirsty. Or somethingl

June 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterHolly Denghel

That top one is either a Y chromosome, a tie (because don't all dads wear a tie while golfing????), or else Dad cheers for the BYU golf team (assuming they have one).
Did anyone besides me see a decapitated angel in #4?

June 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterA Paperback Writer

When looking at wreck 1, my first thought was also golf tee. The other golf contraband would be totally random unless it were a tee. No self respecting wreck would have random plastic ware on it ... erm. wait.

I'd like to call out Melissa, Renee, and Anonymous 1 and 2, and Anissa for spotting the grill in wreck 2. I think that you just might be right...

June 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterErica

I thought the first one was the "Y" chromosome too. These cakes seriously have my jaw hanging open and shaking my head in disbelief

June 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Okay, I can't believe I'm the only who saw this, but the first one is a woman's reproductive system.

June 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDenise

I am probably being overly optimistic, but I do have a custom cookie cutter shaped like the outline of my child's hand. Maybe they have a handprint cutter they used as a stencil for the frosting? Because I *really* don't want to consider the alternative.

June 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDeirdre

The first one is a Y-Chromosome, and "Santa" is a Weber Grill.

June 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCarly

ok, I know #1 is supposed to be a tie, but my first thought in a pictionary kind of way was, "Y Chromosome!" I don't understand the saddle shoes....

(note how the Y is further emphasized by the extra Y drawn on it in icing, before the airbrushed "pattern." For the love of cake, WHY?)

#2: headless santa? Santa's butt with his buckle on backwards? a lumpy barbecue grill? a UFO? another cryptic CCC...what's with the white blob? also, if CCCs are supposed to not require cutlery, why are there a plastic knife and fork stuck to it? and why are they dangling from Santa's belt? he eats cookies, for pete's sake! Maybe Santa wants to BBQ...

#3 is not a fish. a yellow lamb head, a smiley face with arms and legs, whatever--but not a fish! He actualy reminds me of a character from the Mr. books, like Mr. Happy, but with blobular appendages instead of scrawny arms and legs. (though he doesn't look so happy, crown or not...)

http://media.photobucket.com/image/mr%20happy/Gir_070/mr-happy.gif?o=14

#4: how does a snow covered palm tree make sense, or relate to dad? oh, I see. another botched tie. big surprise. They must only know how to draw palm trees (note the flat flared bottom of the trunk instead of a point) and figured a white collar would "make it."

#5: poo smudges and a handprint? nice!

June 23, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterjo

I'm sure like everyone else it's supposed to be a Y chromosomeor a necktie , but it looks like an IUD to me...

June 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLaura

The first one is a neck tie. A bad one, yes, but to me it's obviously a necktie, the classic gift from a child to father.

June 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Way to work some Dr. Horrible in there! :)

June 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLoren

As much as I like "cycloptic", I thought it was a headless angel--which is no closer to sense than the bunny you saw.

June 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Santa need not worry about his job. I think that one is supposed to be a BBQ grill. Unfortunately, the wreckorator has never been outside his/her shop of horror and seen an actual grill.

June 23, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterthehobbyholic

haahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

No complaints here about more Daddy Day Wrecks.

June 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCookieMonster

I think anyone who thinks that first one is a Y chromosome is giving the wreckerator WAY too much credit. Besides, why would she/he make it plaid?

Clearly a really bad tie.

June 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTheUnlikelyTriathlete

I'm glad I'm not the only one who thought the baker was just trying out a biological illustration.

June 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterWinterbird

i thought #4(cyclopic mutant bunny) looked more like a headless angel.

June 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMindy

Dr. Grandmom said: OMG!!! Initially I thought the first one was a Y chromosome, but that might mean that the wreakerator knew about the X and Y chromosomes, so I am betting on a tie!?! Today's pictures made me really laugh out loud. Thanks.

June 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDrgrandmom

It just figures, you guys come to Salt Lake, where I am from, and I just happen to be in New York! What luck :/

June 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAlyssa

I know that the 4th one is supposed to be a tie with shirt collars, but I saw a dress with weird, fancy sleeves. Then when you said "father/child bonding", I was thinking, father and son are both cross dressers?

I think I love the "cycloptic mutant bunny" phrase best of all.

When I first found Cake Wrecks, I went back and read all the older posts, lots at a time. By the time, I got to Naked Mohawk-Baby Carrot Jockeys, I was crying from laughing so much. It was my favorite phrase and I wanted to figure out how to work it into general conversation.

My new fav: Cycloptic Mutant Bunnies. Might have to carve a rubber stamp of that one . . .

June 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSue KuKu

What kind of mass mind meld overtook the commentors today? I didn't see a chromosome, it just made me think 'why?....' In fact, they all made me think 'why?....'

WV - despiara...I despiara......

June 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCaroline B

It's really disturbing when I see a cakewreck and can instantly identify it for what it's meant to be. The "Y" and the cycloptic bunny are neckties. What's wrong with me???

June 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I thought the 'cycloptic bunny' was a dead angel at first actually... and now i'm not quite sure which one is creepier...

June 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMattie-Lynn

its a y chromosome
so they say
but not to me anyway
It is obviously
an avatar dad
dancing to YMCA

June 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJess

I didn't think it was a mutant cycloptic bunny -- to me it looked like a headless angel. Equally disturbing.

June 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCurlygirl

I had to tilt my head at some of these.

June 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterThe Boob Nazi

The first one looks like a Y chromosome- the one that makes a dad a dad and not a mom.

June 23, 2010 | Unregistered Commentercatchat105

i saw a dead angel on the "cycloptic bunny" as well...

maybe we all thought "cycloptic" was a word because of dr. evil. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bh7bYNAHXxw
at the 0:30 mark. :)

June 23, 2010 | Unregistered Commenter*~kristen~*

it is def a tie! i doubt the "artists" are wise enough to make a Y chromosome. plus, it's plaid.

June 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

So tell me, do you guys think the first cake may have something to do with the “Y” chromosome? Because it is unclear from the comments whether or not each and every last one of you had that identical thought and felt compelled to share it.

June 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAli

Do mine eyes deceive me, or was that a Dr. Horrible reference?

June 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKaty

That last one looks like the bloody handprint on a window or mirror in most horror films! And the cycloptic bunny is SO my phrase of the day now. Thank you.

June 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnna

A Doctor Horrible reference?! You are my hero.

In the immortal words of my mother "There's only one thing that all dad's have in common and they don't put them on cakes. Or well they do but not on Father's day cakes."

June 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAngela

Laura, I'm with you. I thought of an IUD right away when I saw the first wreck. I didn't figure out the grill until our fellow Wrecktators brought it to my attention - good call! Today's "cakes" (and I use that term very loosely) are all wrecks, but that last one is just gross - the thought of a stranger putting his/her ungloved hand on my cake gives me the heebee-geebees. Bleh.

June 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnne-Marie

OK the 'Weber Grill' is just...weird. Not as weird as FISHKINGDADTHING but weird.

However the handprint cake is hurltastic. Gahhh.

WV: undsh--the sound of someone turning green!

June 23, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterladyrazorsharp

I haven't read all the replies, but "santa" is really a red bbq grill with a knife and fork hanging on our left, two black grill legs, and the white on our right is the propane tank.

June 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCaryl

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