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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Wednesday
Jun232010

Crazy Genes

Before you give me a hard time for posting more Dad Wrecks, you should note that:

a) It's really *your* fault for not submitting these earlier, and

b) See point 'a'.

Besides, it's not like there's anything here that really screams "Dad", you know?

Ok, well, except for that plastic thing.

And maybe the golf clip art.

But the actual cake? That's just screaming, "For the love of Sweet Duncan Hines, WHAT AM I?!?"

If only I knew, little Wreck. If only. I. knew.

Here's how you tell Pop you're on to all those Christmas shenanigans of his:

Yeah. Watch your back, "Santa."


And then there's the weird stuff.

"I do the weird stuff!"

For the record, there is no combination of the words "king, fish, dad, dad" that makes even the remotest hint of sense. None. King fish dad dad? King dad fish dad? Dad king fish dad? WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAN?!?

[patting down hair] Ahem.

Actually, I find it oddly comforting that the yellow fish/dad/king/thing looks just as confused as I am. It's like he understands my pain. Yeah. So thanks, fish/dad/king/thing.


Say, here's an aspect of father/child bonding you don't see often:

A shared love of cycloptic mutant bunnies.

(Yes, I *did* just make Cyclops into an adjective. Trust me, it's going to fill a void in your vocabulary you never even knew was there. You'll see.)

And finally, the most horrifying Father's Day Wreck I've seen all week, hands down:

You know, something about that icing seems off, but I can't quite put my finger on it.

Well, maybe the Wreckerator was all thumbs, and so decided to just slap on a digit-al design. In that case, you gotta admit: s/he nailed it.

Wanda W., Clint R., Laura M., Heather L., & Katie T., high fives all 'round.

TOUR REMINDER: Hey, Salt Lake City, for a good time be at The King's English Bookshop tonight at 7pm (or a bit before). We've got all kinds of goodies in store for you. [saucy wink]

Update from john: Did you know that apparently, little boys are made up of Y chromosomes and Epcots? Neither did I...

« Tempe Treats | Main | Father Figures? »

Reader Comments (204)

Man I'm glad I'm the only one in my department today. Once I hit the King Fish Dad Dad cake thing I started laughing and couldn't stop. Especially with the handprint cake. I just lost it there

June 23, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterellemck1

Good God, people! The first one is a tie, for crying out loud. A Y chromosome?? Really??

On an entirely separate note, I loved the Dr. Horrible reference for the Kingdadfishdad thing. Four sweater vests!! : )

June 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAngela

O paternal one,
defend me, thy offspring, from
the mutant bunny!

~~~~

How I have missed Cakewrecks this year! We're about to leave Honduras and will finally be someplace where the electricity, internet, and water pressure don't disappear everytime it rains.

June 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

Ok, what gets me -- is that under another day's posts (Dastardly Dad Designs) is the SAME unknown representation that this time you're calling 'the stab Santa in the back' ccc!

Scary. To the Max.

I really saw an angel in that bunny cyclops. A Headless angel. Not sure what that says about dad around my house....

~~Di

June 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Cake #1: a very sad, blue-plaid y-chromosomatic mutation w/too many golfball jokes to tastefully include herein

Last cake: someone dusted and managed lift off a complete handprint from the crime scene. Police are on their way.

June 23, 2010 | Unregistered Commentermsyendor

A red BBQ apron? The knife and fork make me suspect it may be so. I have to agree though, my first take is that it looks like a perverse Santa. Norine

June 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Cy·clo·pe·an   –adjective
1. of or characteristic of the Cyclops.
2. ( sometimes lowercase ) gigantic; vast.
3. ( usually lowercase ) Architecture, Building Trades . formed with or containing large, undressed stones fitted closely together without the use of mortar: a cyclopean wall.

;)

June 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The first one is definitely a giant Y chromosome. Maybe a necktie, but definitely a Y chromosome. Surrounded by golfing stuff. Yeah. *blinks*

Also, I definitely prefer "Cycloptic" to "Cyclopean." Yes.

WV: Gershe. "Gershe, That's an ugly cake."

June 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterHarmony

I refuse to believe the first cake is supposed to be a Y-Chromosome, I think its just a really botched attempt at a tie if it was supposed to anything more than a random arrangement.

June 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLulu

The first is suppose to be a tie! They had one just like it at a local grocery store, except you could tell it was a tie!

June 23, 2010 | Unregistered Commentermiranda

Nothing says Father's Day like a beheaded angel!

June 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterNarrowfeather

I think the first one is supposed to be a tie...

June 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMelissa

That last one just completely grossed me out!!! I hope they washed their hands.

June 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Honestly, do we all think a Wreckerator knows what a chromosome is?? You guys are WAY too optimistic for my liking. Clearly that's that ride at Disneyland in Florida, what's it called.....Bacon?

June 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterHeidi

pretty sure the handprint is not done in brown icing, but that the icing on the cake came away when the wreckerator pulled their hand away (after whatever compelled them to smash it into the icing had subsided), exposing the cake's tender, moist underbelly. poor cake, it's defenses have been penetrated!

WV: readou - all these wrecks could use a readou!

June 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDanielle G.

i've always used "cyclopian" ... like venetian. hahaha. ha.

June 23, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterjennyblue

Cyclops bunny looks like an 80s wedding dress to me. Same sleeves as mine had.

June 23, 2010 | Unregistered Commenter2nd Cup of Coffee

Did the first "Y" cake come from utah? I would bet money that the dad is a BYU fan (which everyone calls the Y, and their colors are blue)

June 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSally Sagers

You know the bunny one struck me first as a headless angel (I don't know what that says about me or the design) and then I thought of the Liberty bell. So maybe instead of the City of Brotherly Love, it was the City of Fatherly Love for a day?

June 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKim S

The first cake is a Golf "T" for holding the ball.

June 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAlicia

The first one is obviously supposed to be a tie, but I'm going with the Disney explanation - "Y? Because we LIKE you!"

(M...O...U...S...E....!)

June 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The Dr. Horrible song reference just about made me wet my pants at my desk.

June 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterThe Lili Effect

Nothing says love for father like a belted bee hive with exhaust pipes...oh, and a knife.

[pats hair down] LMAO! Stealing that.

June 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDebra

I think the mutant bunny is supposed to be a tie... and the Y i think is supposed to be one too... The king fish is far more puzzling.

June 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I also think the first one looks like a Y-chromosome... though I suspect it is supposed to be a tie.

June 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSkye

All I remember is that in the first one or two Dark Tower books, Stephen King uses the word "cyclopean" like about a zillion times and it drove me crazy. There's your random for the day!

June 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDanielle

I think the first one is probably a plaid golf tee. The plaid and the golf clip art give it away. I think.

June 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

question: is someone who makes a cupcake cake going to be smart enough to think of making a Y chromosome for fathers day? Just sayin..

June 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSarah

I like the word 'cycloptic'. It has a better ring than 'cyclopean', which is the dictionary-version of an adjective related to 'Cyclops' (which I only know because H.P. Lovecraft uses it to describe the weird masonry in virtually every story he ever wrote).

So, see? There is a long-standing literary tradition of using 'Cyclops' as an adjective to describe horrifying things!

June 23, 2010 | Unregistered Commentersophistre

clearly cake 1 is supposed to be a golf tee given that everything else on the cake is golf-y, but in the context of things at first I though (ugh) plaid dad thong bathing suit.

June 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMoggypie

Are you sure that the dad that got the first cake didn't play golf with the YMCA? ;)

June 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterVédis

the first one is meant to be a golf tee. hence the golf shoes and golf ball. while a it does look like a Y what would DNA have to do with golf?

June 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I'm in agreement that the first one is a Y chromosome. As a molecular biologist I can definitely confirm this. As for the cupckaes around it, I have no idea.

June 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSarah Meno

I don't think the first one is a Y, I was thinking neck tie.

June 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Jeez, people! It's so obvious: Yes, the first one is a Y, but not because the wreckerator was thinking chromosome, but because it's Dad's initial. His name is ...uh, Yerkes or Yilly. Or Yason.

Normie

WV: inevi "I am inevi of the decorator's skill, NOT"

June 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Hey, isn't that first one a (spit)cupcake cake?

I thought tie too, but golf tee also works.

June 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMelinda

cut out the papyrus on the watermark.

*vomits*

June 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJustinian

If you squint, the Satan--I mean Santa--cake might be a bucket seat from a car. It even includes the open can of beer by the driver's feet.

June 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

oh my. the last one makes me think that there is a scary underground lair beneath that cake/trap door and there is someone being sucked into it and reaching out for help....

maybe i watch too much tv.

June 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKim

Oh, no! It's EPCOT all over again! *drops to knees and screams at sky* Y?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

I dunno, I think the handprint's kinda pretty. I just think they should've had, like, a 4 year old do it. Then it would be cute and not wierd.

June 23, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterpurplewowies

I was sitting here laughing at the dad/fish/king/dad/thing and 4 year old little girl walks up looks at the yellow...thing and asks what is that supposed to be? Though my laughter I said, "I have no idea." She looked at it cocked her head and said me either its funny. I only laughed harder. She also declared the mutant bunny to be a dress.

And high five for the Dr. Horrible reference!

June 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMaureen

aren't hand print gifts reserved for mugs and t-shirts and things youc an keep rather than eat? and aren't they usually of little kids' hands to preserve how small they are? why would anyone want a full size handprint on a cake? and a dirty one at that? (considering the flesh color is spot on)

makes me wonder. is this a joke referring a to a boy who smeared poo on walls during the potty training years? (i know someone who did that) that would explain to the poo smears and the dirty hand. but then writing that he loves dad IN the poo....kind of a mixed message....

another dad disrespect cake?

June 23, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterjo

Thank you for the homage to Dr. Horrible!

June 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLiterary Beauty

the first one is totally a tie... the white cardboard represents the shirt, and the other cupcakes are vaguely buttons!
and yeah... I'm glad I'm not the only one who something highly inappropriate in #4...

June 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I believe the first picture is supposed to be a work shirt. The Y is a collar and tie, and the other cupcakes are pocket buttons. It explains the gridwork, anyway.

June 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Ooooh, Taylor said it first, said it best. LOL.

June 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

"I think anyone who thinks that first one is a Y chromosome is giving the wreckerator WAY too much credit."

No, we're just total nerds.

Elizabeth

June 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterElizabeth

As a former Anthropology minor I feel I should comment on the first entry. I also believe that it's a tie--the plaid is indeed a dead giveaway. But this leads to further consideration.

How many of the posters on this board, under the age of 45, have ever seen their fathers wear a tie? Very few, unless their Dads were going to a funeral. Now I think what is happening her is that the tie is turning into a symbol that has no connection to its original function. It's slowly becoming an icon. Like Kokopelli who started out as a trader with a back pack who mutated into a hunchback pipe playing god. Future archaeologists will write papers on this strange "y" symbol and will probably assume that it's a representation of a Y chromosome. Dissertations will be written on the subject.

Congratulations on being on the forefront of future scholarly research....

June 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLRF1950

Confound it, I saw all of Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog a few months ago and STILL don't get the reference.

June 23, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterdeckardcanine

Y chromosome was the first thing to pop into my head on CCC (ptooui) #1.

Thumbs up to Dawn for "headless angel in a second-hand bridesmaid's dress".

Like Anony at 10:13am I thought about a kid's plaster of paris placque (I made one or two in my time as a child) but was horrified at the idea of an adult child doing that for Dad. Little twisted in my opinion.

wv: bunmisme - another term for cycloptic bunny

June 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterEsty

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