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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Wednesday
Jun232010

Crazy Genes

Before you give me a hard time for posting more Dad Wrecks, you should note that:

a) It's really *your* fault for not submitting these earlier, and

b) See point 'a'.

Besides, it's not like there's anything here that really screams "Dad", you know?

Ok, well, except for that plastic thing.

And maybe the golf clip art.

But the actual cake? That's just screaming, "For the love of Sweet Duncan Hines, WHAT AM I?!?"

If only I knew, little Wreck. If only. I. knew.

Here's how you tell Pop you're on to all those Christmas shenanigans of his:

Yeah. Watch your back, "Santa."


And then there's the weird stuff.

"I do the weird stuff!"

For the record, there is no combination of the words "king, fish, dad, dad" that makes even the remotest hint of sense. None. King fish dad dad? King dad fish dad? Dad king fish dad? WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAN?!?

[patting down hair] Ahem.

Actually, I find it oddly comforting that the yellow fish/dad/king/thing looks just as confused as I am. It's like he understands my pain. Yeah. So thanks, fish/dad/king/thing.


Say, here's an aspect of father/child bonding you don't see often:

A shared love of cycloptic mutant bunnies.

(Yes, I *did* just make Cyclops into an adjective. Trust me, it's going to fill a void in your vocabulary you never even knew was there. You'll see.)

And finally, the most horrifying Father's Day Wreck I've seen all week, hands down:

You know, something about that icing seems off, but I can't quite put my finger on it.

Well, maybe the Wreckerator was all thumbs, and so decided to just slap on a digit-al design. In that case, you gotta admit: s/he nailed it.

Wanda W., Clint R., Laura M., Heather L., & Katie T., high fives all 'round.

TOUR REMINDER: Hey, Salt Lake City, for a good time be at The King's English Bookshop tonight at 7pm (or a bit before). We've got all kinds of goodies in store for you. [saucy wink]

Update from john: Did you know that apparently, little boys are made up of Y chromosomes and Epcots? Neither did I...

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Reader Comments (204)

Number two makes my head hurt. After a bit, I got 'ham in a seatbelt.' But that does not explain the mismatched legs or the white appendage. I keep going back...head still hurting.

June 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKathryn H

"I do the weird stuff" - I've been lurking for a while, and just have to congratulate/bond over the Dr. Horrible reference. Bravo, madame, bravo.

June 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBeth

LOL at the comment suggesting a 'king fish dad dad' t-shirt. That is an AWESOME idea...although it would have to be worked out whether it should be 'king dad fish dad' or 'king fish dad dad'. Still giggling over it though. :)

Oh, and the 1st one looks like a tie to me and the 'santa' one looks like a grill, complete with bbq tools and a propane tank.

June 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Points for the Dr. Horrible reference!! :)

June 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterElly

My brother used to work in a bakery and a y-chromosome Father's Day cake sounds exactly like the kind of snarky suggestion he'd make to the ditzy cake decorators (at his store, they were all a bit air-headed anyway, not saying that's the norm for the trade). I wish I'd taken photos of the baked "goods" that appeared during his tenure there...

June 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterRuth

The cakes are not the hammer.

June 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterNara

Thank you, Thank you, Thank you for that Dr. Horrible reference.

June 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKate

The yellow King/dad/fish/dad is an attempt to represent Dogbert?

June 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterClaudia

Well, the "king fish dad dad" makes no sense in itself, but maybe it was supposed to be a reference to Huey P. Long, once governor of Louisiana, who was known as the Kingfish. Also, Kingfish is another name for the King Mackerel. It doesn't make the cake any less bizarre, but just a thought that it might refer to Long.

June 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBridget Delaney

I didn't sift through all 157 comments to see if anyone else got this, but I'm pretty sure the first one is supposed to be a necktie. That would explain the funky pattern.

June 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterHeather

The first one reminds me of an IUD.

June 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTara

Dr. Horrible! Wh00t! "Four Sweater Vests!" = next year's Father's Day gift idea. :)

June 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKaaren

Is the Y cake for a Brigham Young University fan? Their color is blue, and that school is often referred to as "the Y," although I don't know "Y." Haha

June 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBecky

As I saw someone else has already pointed out, I too read the King Dad, Fish Dad cake in a sing-song-y Dr. Seuss rhythm!

The Y chromosome tie is great. All Dads need one! Glad everyone was feeling the same.

And the final cake: for some reason the coloring of that creepy handprint makes me feel like someone is inside the cake, trying to get out!

June 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKelly

I'm assuming the first one was a tie. Wh-y oh Y, y-ou ask? Simply because if the wreckerator was so clueless they couldn't make a tie properly, it's unlikely that they would know about the y-chromosome. Plus, it's tacky sixties-era plaid, which just screams "dad" to me!

Thanks for the explanation that Santa's actually a barbecue. I don't see it, but I'll go along with hit-- the big guy in red being stabbed in the back was just to distressing a thought.

Saw a headless angel (speaking of distressing!), but love the cyclopic mutant bunny reference. Not sure what it actually is, though!

I actually do see a fish wearing a crown. (should I be worried that today's post feels like a Rorschach test?!) I'm assuming that Dad loves fishing, and the bakery messed up the inscription.

Lastly... that the hand appears like on a steamy mirror is , but the idea's cute. The execution-- I hope they were wearing gloves! And that the health inspector's called in to that bakery pronto!

PS Keep the Father's Day wrecks coming! these are a hoot

June 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAliza

The first one's either a Y chromosome or a tie.

June 23, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterthebubblegumchild

I'm a long time reader of Cake Wrecks, and although I have never commented before, I just have to say I laughed. So. Hard. at the king/fish/dad/dad bit.

I expect to think of it again tomorrow and laugh uproariously.

June 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

KUDOS on the Dr Horrible quote!!

Nothing says #1 Dad like a inter-uterine-device being besieged by angry unfertilized eggs cupcake-hodgepodge.

When I get to that point in my life, that's exactly how I want my wife to tell me I'll be a new Dad.

June 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTyler S.

I, on the other hand did NOT think that #1 was Epcot, I mean, a Y-chromosome. I am not sure what it is, having never seen a tie that was blue plaid.

And: "Cycloptic mutant bunny" made me think of Anya from "Buffy".
"I've got a theory it could be bunnies!"

June 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJimma

I am ashamed to say that I recognized what the first one was within two seconds of seeing it, but it is a tie! Isn't it? Maybe one of those old skinny ties from the 80s? Anyone else see it? Don't leave me hanging...

June 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJennifer

YES.
Thank you for the Dr. Horrible reference, the void in my heart from lack of new episodes can only be filled by small references on blogs (there are a surprising amount out there, and never where I expect them..).

also, i feel stupid now for not figuring out the Y chromosome thing,, apparently I'm not as geeky as I thought D:

June 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMars

haha. 'santa' looks more like an Energy Dome to me.

June 23, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterjenn

The first one is definitely a Y chromosome.

June 24, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Actually the first one looks a lot like someone from Provo may have ordered it, and is trying very hard not to have too much blue icing in favor of B "Y" U... silly BYU fans anyway

June 24, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterB-Jo

I think I may have to go bribe these father's day wreckerators to stop making me cry and hide under my bed lol. These things are truly scary and if anyone bought one for their father I hope they ate that cake quickly before he noticed what was on it.. lol.

June 24, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

The obscure Dr. Horrible reference made me smile. Your wit and nerdiness always keep me coming back for more.

June 24, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterRachel

That's not cycloptic mutant bunnies! It's a DRESS for a transvestite dad!

June 24, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLaurel

Dr. Horrible reference made my day. Wish there was a whole post dedicated to Dr. H wrecks, that would be so great.

June 24, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBethAnn

The King Fish Dad Dad cake left me gasping for breath with my belly fit to bust. The neighbors must think there is a maniac living next door.

There was something a little familiar about the combination of words and it took me a minute to figure it out. There was a song that was played on alternative stations ~ 10 years back with the lyrics " ... space lord mother mother " (altered from more explicit lyrics). Maybe the "artist" was tripping and having flash backs ?

June 24, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBrian

OBVIOUSLY the first cake is a Vuvuzela. For that Dad with World Cup Fever! ...right?

June 24, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda

Yay for subtle Dr. Horrible references!

Instead of a psychedelic one-eyed bunny, I see a psychedelic headless angel.

And I hate to break it to you, but 'cycloptic' isn't filling a lexical void; 'cyclopean' already exists.

WV: berse - That headless Santa looks like he's about to berse right out of his belt.

June 24, 2010 | Unregistered Commentercoeurdechoeur

Well, at least we can conclude 3 things from all this epic y chromosome business:

1. Your readers payed (arguably too much?) attention in science class!

2. Your readers place (arguably too much?) faith in a wreckerator's creative talent and intellectual level.

3. Nobody reads the comments section.

Well, I'd say that about sums it up, don't you? Thanks for the laugh! :D

June 24, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterStoich91

It's supposed to be "Cool Daddy King Fish." No idea where he got it, but my bro has been saying it for years.

June 24, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I think the first and fourth ones are supposed to be ties, but that's just a guess. I don't know why "Ties!" popped into my head, but it just did.

June 24, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterPopcornBytes

Sad to say, but I believe Dr. Evil already coined "cycloptic" in the first Austin Powers movie. Good try, though!

June 25, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterEegriega

I think even saying it's a Y chromosome is stretching a bit. But I did love the Dr. Horrible reference!

June 25, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterelliespen

Does #4 read 'Sloppy Fathers Day' ?

June 25, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

i'm sure we've seen that second cake (only more-wrecked) in another post....i can't remember what it was called though! something like "Dastardly Dad Designs" but i can't find it anywhere!

June 25, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterGeorgia

I assumed that cake #4 was a dress,which leads us to a whole new level of wrong....

I though the fourth cake said "Sloppy Mattress Day." Then I thought, "ewwwwwww!"

June 25, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJulianne

C'mon, it was a doctor Seusse book. King Dad, fish dad
red dad, peuce dad
black dad, blue dad
old dad, new dad.
this dad has a little scar

There's more

I think there was a rewrite, it's been a while since I read it to the kids.
-Aaron

June 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAaron

Although it's been said many times now, I just have to say I thought the first one was a Y chromosome, but once it was suggested in the comments I am now convinced the wreckorator thought they were making a tie b/c of the plaid/checkered stripes. The execution is better for a Y chromosome, however.

And....I also thought the cycloptic bunny had to do more with the creation of a child than with lapines...
-Andrea

June 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Yes! Random Dr. Horrible quote for the win! :D

June 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAja

Kingfish used to be a Southern term for big shot, big wheel, a real important guy. Huey P. Long, once governor of Louisiana was nicknamed the Kingfish. The term also was the name of one of the characters on the old Amos and Andy radio program, pre-television.

Guess someone thought their Dad was a big shot, ordered the cake and got - a mutant yellow lamb's head wearing a crown. With li'l legs and arms.

June 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The 1st one looks like a Y and the 2nd one looks like an orange beehive!

June 27, 2010 | Unregistered Commenter~Nikki~

I know what the second cake is...

It a gril.

June 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterHanna

Interesting..... Y chromosome, or tie for someone on (the children's television show) Word World? hmmmm....

July 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMe

lmao the first ones a tie

Yey! 100th comment! Loving the new adjective! The cakes? Well... they're not as wrecky as some - the only good bit about them. :D

Lucy

November 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDragon-girl

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