My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Operation Cake Evasion

Are you tired of always having to get the cake for friends' baby showers? Nooo problem. Just bring in one of these, and they'll never ask again. Guaranteed.

I call this the Bizarre "B" Special: that's Baby Bigfoot on a BBQ, surrounded by beer bottles and a bonsai tree. Feel free to personalize your own creation, though, and have fun with it! How about an Irish infant in an igloo, surrounded by indigo ibexes?

Forget safe, traditional pastels; you want to "go" for as many subtle bowel reminders as possible. Note the use of "chocolate kisses," yellow icing, the big crack, and even the word "bun" in the inscription. Now that's a true master at work.

If the shower is around Halloween, you'll also have this fun option:

Yep. A subtle insinuation that mom-to-be rides a broomstick (or has one shoved where the sun don't shine) oughtta do the trick.

Or, heck, while you're at it: why not take a stab at mom's drinking habits?

The two ingredients for successful parenting.

If at this point you're STILL getting stuck with cake duty, it's time for the gloves to come off. Yep. It's time for...[dramatic pause]...the Crap n' Snap:

Ohh snap!

Now sit back, relax, and revel in the knowledge that no one will ever trust you to order a cake, ever again.

Thanks to Crystal B., Stephanie S., Jenny C., JK, & Angie M., who haven't ordered a cake since 1999.

« Royal Wrecks | Main | Sunday Sweets: Tour Edition »

Reader Comments (127)

I thought the last cake was a battle axe... I was trying to find a connection between butt wiping and Gimli.

June 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLeslie

Sara P has it right on the second to last cake. That cake is a reference to a famous data mining urban legend:

I think it's a cake for a party for statisticians or economists.

June 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Oh. My. Gawd! Wipe my butt?!?!? That cake should be illegal! *shudders*

June 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterErin Kelly

So aside from the broom sticking out of her butt, i really lke the witch on that cake, she's kinda purty...LOL

June 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Word verification - Noodist a naked pasta maker.....LMAO!

June 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Cake Wrecks has posted many gross wrecks, but that last one may be the grossest of the lot. It took me a while to get it, I think mostly because my mind refused to believe that anyone would make a cake of that.

June 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKatie

Um how in the world could anyone want to EAT that last cake? All of them are bizarre and slightly grotesque, but the dirty diaper cake? Seriously?? An old co-worker did a baby shaped cake for a shower. The cake was white cake, with strawberry filling. So when they cut into the "baby" it looked like it was bleeding. What are people thinking?!

June 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSophia

Ok now I am scared to ever get pregnant out of sheer fear that one of those cakes could be mine.. yuck to that last one. Very disgusting but it would definitely make sure you never had to buy the cake for the party or heck even bring one again. I can't even look at that last cake ..bleh!

June 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

Oh my gawd, that last one is terrible. >.< But the first one seems kinda funny in the randomness.

June 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJen

Oh gosh, there goes my breakfast!

You do such a great job! I deliberately come to laugh and you never fail.

When I saw these I broke out laughing so hard, I couldn't share for several minutes. All I could get out was "Cake Wrecks" and my husband said, "Ohhhhh." When I showed him, he cracked up!

That last cake - very realistic. I'd really worry about having a friend like that.

June 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

ok. I am 12 weeks pregnant. If my babyshower cake looks like any of those, I will kill someone.

June 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

first cake first thought: Gulliver's baby daughter? what is she laying on, giant ugly thing?

that last cake is just tasteless. hope they didn't use any high quality chocolate--I don't think anyone could bring themselves to taste what's actually intended to be poop! no suggestive brown blobs, this is SUPPOSED TO BE POOP.

that's disgusting.

diapers and Coors. Mom is stocked up. How classy. Is that her baby on top laying on a grill surrounded by empty beer bottles? nice.

The witch could either be an insult to the mom, or a suggestion that the baby will be a handful. OR, considering the rest of the Halloween imagery, it's a Halloween baby. Hope Mom's name isn't Rosemary...They'd better have an exorcist on hand....

June 29, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterjo

I thought I knew what it was to be shocked by a cake. Then I saw that last cake. I may have to stop reading this site--at least while I'm eating my breakfast.

Hahah--my word verification is "worse."

June 29, 2010 | Unregistered Commentermyimaginaryblog

I wonder if that last one has chocolate mousse filling...

wv: ordrig. what the obviously drunk person requesting these cakes did. slurring: "Hi, I'm ordrig a cake for a baby shower? could you, like, make it a dirty diaper, full of chocolate poo and pees/peas?' *snort* *snicker*

June 29, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterjo

Wow. I didn't think you could find a lower point, but that last cake is the Worst. Cake. Ever.

June 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Baby Bigfoot, basking on a Bar-B-Que bassinet, sits betwixt a bitty bonsai and blue-ribbon beer bottles. Blah :P

June 29, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterpdxnico

@Anon/Sara: "putting the diapers and the beer next to each other in the store boosts the sales of both, maybe that explains the huggies and bud cake"

that's kind of genius. the men want to go out for beer anyway, and they can conveniently pick up the diapers for the women who are home barbecuing, er, wrangling, er, changing the baby. You know how men shop--they have to put it right in front of them.

maybe they should put the tampax next to the beer, too. think the guys would be more willing to pick up those provisions if they were next to the beer? or maybe the nachos and pork rinds?

June 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Oooh, I want *that* piece!

June 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTJ

I think the Coors Light & Huggies cake is a reference to the Nicholas Cage movie "Raising Arizona".

"I'll be taking these Huggies and whatever cash ya got."

At least I hope it is.

June 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterThatDeborahGirl

I think that first cake is just weird. What did the person order to get 'that' cake?

Oh and that last

I just have to speak more about that first Seriously, what would a person have to ask for to get this cake? I want a hugely deformed baby, with massive feet and an ugly face laying on top of a grill. Oh and throw in some beer bottles and a bonsai tree to make it really weird. *shaking head*

June 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMary

Good grief, that first one looks like a hardened old salt that should be out on the dock.

June 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

A friend of mine made the first one. All inside jokes if I remember correctly. One of his early cakes.

June 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

My 4 year old came up to me on the first photo and said, "Mom what are you doing?... wow. That looks like a monkey or something? Or maybe a giant... no a monkey."

July 3, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAdrienne

That first one is a great joke! You missed the balaclava and the blanket - how many Bs does that bring it up to?

July 13, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterpunchy

The bun in the oven....not looking that great it ?! ;) xx

October 14, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCupcakes Lady

Hahahahaha, I read the plaque on the last one while drinking coffee and it ended up coming out of my nose!!! Hahahaha

July 23, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJulie S

PostPost a New Comment

Enter your information below to add a new comment.
Author Email (optional):
Author URL (optional):
Some HTML allowed: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <code> <em> <i> <strike> <strong>