My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

News Bites

This week's "top" headlines, illustrated by Wrecks.
Because that's how the news should be told.

"That's 'Sir' to you!" Star Trek's Patrick Stewart knighted.

And to mark this happy occasion, the saddest Star Trek cake I have ever seen:

Eesh. That's boldly going, all right.

Tiger Woods Hits Three Fans With His Balls

This golf cake really fits the story to a "tee," don't you think?

From the article:

Asked what he discovered at Muirfield Village, Woods laughed.

“Well, I’m capable of playing four rounds in a row,” he said. “Thank you.”

Subway Teaches World What "Tessellate" Means By Finally Agreeing to Do It To Their Cheese

Note: This cheese is not tessellated.
Nor is it cheese.
Nor do I want to sink my teeth into it.

Our final headline is actually from last month, but I had to include it anyway. Here's why:

Student Being Mugged Saved By Actual Ninjas

A-ha! See, I knew it! Ninjas are both awesome AND workers for good.

Why, just look at them all here, enjoying a friendly game of soccer*:

Aw. So cute.

Alaskanmama, Lynn W., Louisa A., Mary Ann S.& Susan H., if soccer's not your thing, then here's a bakery with all KINDS of Ninja designs to choose from:

See? Something for everyone!

*Note from john: It should be noted that Jen firmly believes that anything vaguely rectangular and green with lines on it must, by default, involve soccer. I think it's because she's Irish and enjoys body paint and rioting.

Follow-Up Note from Jen: Do not! Sometimes I think they involve hockey.

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Reader Comments (76)

The "sink your teeth into this" is actually not a cake. It is molded milk chocolate with white chocolate stuff on the top. It`s supposed to be a Philadelphia Cheesesteak. I actually saw this at a candy shop in Philadelphia's Reading Terminal Market yesterday. And yeah, it looks just as gross in person.

June 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJen from Philly

huh? on the "ninja" cake? huh? whaddid I miss?

June 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterEtiquette Bitch

Jen... you missed out on a great word play, unless you're really just strictly a Star Wars fan: Make it Sir.

June 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKatjaMouse

The last picture is oddly sad...
I mean, just look at all the sweet, innocent, virgin cakes, with their little ruffled edges and blank expressions...
So pure.
So full of potential.
You can almost hear them...("Pick ME!! Pick Meeee!!").....
Will one of those. very. cakes. make it to the Big Time???
what I mean.


June 8, 2010 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

Regarding the last photo (the plain cakes) that was taken at a certain retail behemoth, where you are expected to keep the refrigerated case full of cakes all day (20+ quarter sheets on a slow day), while making the special orders (about 20/day), stocking the salesfloor, dealing with customers, taking your own trash out, and cleaning all your own stuff up by the time you leave 8 hours later. There are lots of good cake decorators at these big chain stores that have no choice but to cut corners, for the sake of their job. Managers don't care what the cakes look like, as long as they are out on the shelf.

June 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Mkay, so for all of you who had to look up 'tessellated' (Just like me...), this is the meaning:

tessellate |ˈtesəˌlāt| (also tesselate)
verb [ trans. ]
decorate (a floor) with mosaics.
• Mathematics cover (a plane surface) by repeated use of a single shape, without gaps or overlapping.

Lovely "cheese"! I actually think I tessellated a play-doh cheese with flat beads when I was 7.

soccer... tennis... gaelic football... Who cares about the surface when there are ninjas?


June 8, 2010 | Unregistered Commentersally

Not just ninjas, they were AUSSIE ninjas. Whoa...I am ridiculously proud.

wv candris.. "Candris get any better?"


June 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I think it needs to be said that I used to live in the neighborhood where the ninja thing happened! In fact, I'm pretty sure I know which dojo it was, even though it didn't say in the news reports.

Really, that dude was hella lucky. It's a pretty rough neighborhood at night!

June 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDina

It took until 4:58, but finally someone posted exactly what I read the comments for: a very serious explanation of the blank cakes! Sigh... so many funny comments, and so many hand-meet-forehead-inducing ones. It must be noted, however, that there were fewer explanations about the blanks than I expected... maybe the lessons of Epcot are sinking in.

And I agree with the earlier poster who mentioned the news theme should be a recurring feature-- I'd love to see that every month or two.


June 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

My favorite headline from the Patrick Stewart story: Queen says, "Make it so"

June 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

is that first one a sad Star Trek or a really Really REALLY sad Eiffel Tower?

June 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMelia

We need more Ninjas in the world, there's nothing like a good Ninja to make your day, don't ya know? LOL

Keep on Wreckin!!

June 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterScrapnmafia

I dunno if anyone's mentioned this yet, but I don't feel like slogging through sixty-odd comments to find out: I'm pretty sure those are just blank cakes so you can see what kind you want before they apply decoration. Let's at least give 'em a chance to wreck 'em before piling on the snark, okay? *mumbling* Sheeeee, some people...

June 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDan

Yikes to the Trek cake. It should be flushed far far away. Poo cakes are blah. Lol and what exactly is that large poo cake with white stuff inside it supposed to be? It appears to be a giant poo sandwich in which case no more Subway for me.. lol.

June 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

Sorry, John, that's no tennis court... It must be Epcot!

I do love that not only did they completely wreck the court (and really, is a tennis court really a complicated shape?), but they also had crazy punctuation.

"Game, Set. Match"


June 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Okay, for once, I don't get it. What's up with the ninja?? WHERE is the ninja?? Or is there some ninja reference that I didn't get??


Ehem, thanks :)

June 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAdriana

John and Jen, your "notes" at the end made me chuckle even harder than the actual post. :D

June 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterStephanie

Yummy!! looks delicious.. haha stick your teeth into this is funny. I get hungry just staring at it mmhm

June 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJustin Dupre

longer version of the ninja story, fills in the bits the US version left out or got wrong ;)

I especially like the bit at the end regarding the invisability of the student that alerted the school..a classic ninja move!

ninja cakes though... i bet they taste amazing!

June 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTerina

What's sad - I thought that top one was a super poor attempt at the Eifel Tower. My next thought was "that's not a Star Trek communicator"

love, love the site. Thanks, Jen and John.

June 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous


sshhhh , I don't think you are supposed to see the ninjas

wv rugge I got nothing, sorry.

June 10, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Here's a random piece of trivial information for your next pub trivia night:

Did you know only four countries in the world refer to the game with the round ball as "soccer"? Everyone else calls it football.

But did you know the word "soccer" actually comes from the word football? Well, technically, it comes from the compound noun "association football".

Apparently, Americans earnestly believed that a game which involved picking up the ball with one's hands and carrying it for the majority of the playing time deserved to be called "football". Therefore, they had to call that game that involved only touching the ball with one's feet something else.

Hence, "association football", subsequently shortened to "soccer" by lazy people, and adopted by...

Ah, but can you guess which countries adopted it?

You already know one of them (USA) but what about the other three? I'll give you a clue: They also use the word "football" to refer to games that involve carrying an oddly shaped ball around the field (just not the same games).

June 10, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSharon

anyone else see the 3rd cake as a yeast infection? i'm not so sure i want to sink my teeth anywhere near that thing.

wv: hoarder. that "cake" is hoarding the yeast for sure...

June 12, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterkelley

the tiger woods cake looks like a police photo of the field where Lorena Bobbit dumped the weiner...the poo is from the guy who found it hahaa..aaaaw and the blue is all the tears he and all the cops shed for it :(

June 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

This cake was ordered to celebrate a great TENNIS season for my son's team at school. I picked up the cake on my way to the party. It was funny that I had to explain to the tennis coach and tennis players that it was a tennis court. Oh, and it cost $50.00!

February 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

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